Is your partner overweight?

LauraInTheWater

I'm so glad I found your post. I have been struggling with this. My husband and I BOTH gained weight after some health issues slowed me down for a while. I know he doesn't mean to but all he does when he comes home is sit down on the couch. I know it is because he is tired but I really want to have him be on board with me. I think it just takes time for them to realize we are serious. I'm sorry you are going through this. It is painful and it does feel like sabotage at times. Maybe your progress is making his bad eating habits more apparent to him, and it is upsetting, which is why he is negative about it. All we can do is be positive role models. I know that the last time I lost a significant amount of weight my husband eventually joined in. In the mean time it makes me feel like I am doing something wrong because I have to plan out my meals (he likes to go out to eat a lot). If you want to talk or vent about it I am here for you. But just keep up the good work!

LauraInTheWater

mccord62803 wrote: »

Just wanted to give a little update...

I was planning on talking to him about it last night but he surprised me by bringing it up himself. The first thing he said was that watching me weigh out a small portion of pasta the other night was the saddest thing ever. Lol. But I turned it around and just smiled and said that was why I ate a large salad before the pasta, so I could still enjoy some pasta without going over my calories. Then he said that he wanted to start eating better with me and that he always feels like he can do it when he watches me eat better.
I brought up maybe having a challenge on who could lose more (and keep it off) in one year and we shook on it. $100 to the winner. I have no chance of winning if he sticks with it but I hope he does.

I love this idea. I know what to do when my husband shows interest, which I know will only be a matter of time.

JeromeBarry1

Yes, she is, and she's broadly hinting that she really doesn't want to be bigger than me and it's my fault if that happens. Which isn't really unusual.

Any "it" is my fault.

lthames0810

My husband is a somewhat overweight, but I think he's on a stealth diet. For our evening meal I typically set everything out buffet style in the kitchen. He picks and chooses whatever he wants, usually bread, meat, big pile of rice or potatoes, tiny bit of cooked vegetables and no salad. Recently, and without comment, he has begun to skip the bread, still have meat, have less of whatever starch, and a heap of vegetables and salad. Hmmm.

I can't believe how motivating this is to me. I've struggled with my weight for years, but now my hidden competitive streak has come out. I'll be damned if I'll let this amateur lose weight better than I do!

marianlyn

My husband is over 300lbs, and nothing I have ever done or said has motivated him to work on his health. It's frustrating, because I want him to stick around for a long time! But I can remember my parents trying to "coach" me into losing weight with similar good intentions when I was younger. And I hated it.

IslandDreamer64

My husband is maybe 15 pounds overweight, but he's muscular and has a bit of a beer belly. He just naturally cuts back on eating when he reaches a certain point. For him, it's 180. He says he feels better at 170, cuts back on chips and soda for a few weeks and drops 10 pounds. I kind of hate him just a little for that. :-D

PaigeInTechnicolor

My boyfriend is obese. Not sure exactly how much he weighs, but definitely at least class II obese. He was probably obese when I met him, but not nearly to this extent. I was in the middle of healthy range when we met. I put on about 40lbs, got freaked out by my numbers at a doctor checkup and have been on mpf more or less since (fell off the wagon and gained back a good bit. But, lesson learned.)

Now we are in this place where I feel like such an enabler. I bring him the food and drinks he asks for. Since I do all the shopping and cooking, so I should have a bit more control, but he complains if there is no junkfood, and will order out (sometimes on top of the meal I just made) and drinks at least 1000 calories a day... If we run out of booze, he will go, but usually he just whines about it til I do.

It isn't hard sticking to my own calories, but it is hard to watch him kill himself and feel like I am handing him the knife (and fork) to do it with.

Jdismybug1

Yes. My SO is 6'1 and 220 I think. He's been up and down. Never actively really tries to lose weight. I don't really expect him too either, being his body and all.
When I met him (17 years ago) he had anxiety issues that lead him to have stomach issues tied to them and was very thin. He is well past the issues now.
Anytime he's been to the doctors they were actually surprised he weighs so much he carries his weight very well.
That being said he has mentioned lifting weights, he's not the type to count calories. I kind of just let him do what he wants to do fitness wise.
We do eat the same foods, but different quantities.

evilpoptart63

My husband is overweight and we are eating completely different now. He tried to do a diet program with me and got malnourished and is still trying to recover from it so I understand why he is eating higher carb and fatty food. He needs about 3,000cals just to maintain so when he was eating 1,000-1,200 his body was shutting down. His weight has never bothered me personally and now that I'm eating low calories and he isn't it doesn't really bother me. I get frustrated when I see him eat pizza/burgers/chips/ect if I'm having food cravings but I just walk away and hang out with him once it is gone. I figure whatever he eats is none of my business and he helps me cook healthy meals so I can't complain