How do you stop being too competitive with yourself?

kar328

I tend to be too competitive with myself and am trying to find ways to get my brain to stop and just enjoy what I'm now doing (used to be morbidly obese, now finding out how much I like to move and see what this new body can do)

I'm running in a four mile race the day after tomorrow. I call myself a casual runner, I like it, don't love it, but have trouble making myself not always want to go as fast as I can. I did this race last year in 39:46, I wanted under 40 so I did what I set out to do. Doing less than ten minute miles was a big goal for me (I probably did 17 min ones when I started) and I'm happy that I got to that point. I'm happy with last year's performance but have difficulty telling myself that I don't have to do better this time and to just run it for the sake of doing it. I know when I get on the treadmill and run at slower speeds, I do like it more (I'm fond of that whole breathing thing), but in a race I can't picture myself running that slow.

How do you get yourself to relax and realize it's okay to not have to beat yourself each time?

cgvet37

The biggest thing for me, is it has to be fun. No matter how well I do, if it's not fun, it's not worth doing. I'm a competitive shooter, and sometimes I beat myself up when I don't perform to my ability. I still have fun.

MeanderingMammal

kar328 wrote: »

How do you get yourself to relax and realize it's okay to not have to beat yourself each time?

Select an objective to improve, it needn't be your time, but it is helpful to have something quantifiable.

deputy_randolph

The first part of the post seemed positive. I think if you are "competing with yourself" and focusing on improvement...that's a good thing. It also sounds like it is motivating to set goals for yourself and not only achieve, but beat the goal.

The negative part of the post is the "beating yourself up" (I'm assuming if you don't reach your goal). I think one way to stop that would be to re-engage. Ok, so you didn't hit the goal this time. Set the same goal and push yourself again. You'll eventually reach your goal. The more often you do this, the more opportunities you have to end the negative feedback.

Sweet_Heresy

I'm the same way, lol. I'm always setting goals and trying to be better than I was last time...and I do tend to beat myself up if I have a bad session or fall short of a goal.

I try to remind myself that progress isn't completely linear. Just because I'm not improving as fast as I'd like, doesn't mean I'm not improving at all...and sometimes I break out my old workout logs to visually see just how much I've improved over the last few months, or even weeks.

jessef593

Well. I find enjoyment in competing against myself. I'm always trying to one up the yesterday me in all my lifts. (When my programing calls for it). Why wouldn't you want to constantly get better and try to perfect what you love doing?

TavistockToad

I do races to compete with myself...

Have you been training to get a better time?

distinctlybeautiful

Aren't races, by nature, competitive? Maybe find another way you can run with others without that competitive aspect. Maybe get competitive with yourself on something other than time, like how much you can enjoy the race. Sounds like that might be more of a challenge for you to run in a way that's enjoyable than to run faster each time.

jennypapage

Competing with myself is how i keep myself interested in running. I want to do better every time i run.Not necessarily being faster, but just doing something better (like keeping a good posture for longer,breathing through my nose longer,etc).For my first race, my goals were to end up in the first 50% in my category, and drop my time under 30' (record was just over 31').I succeeded with my first goal but not the 2nd(i still beat my record though). My next race i'm hoping i'll succeed in that goal as well.Otherwise races would be boring.

AmyOutOfControl

I am the same way. I love running because I can compete with myself to always improve. I am a pretty competitive person in general and this gives me a healthy outlet for it.

Instead of trying to always outdo or compete with my coworkers/team at work - I can channel this into self competition with running. It works for me. The trials and tribulations of being a "type A personality".

KANGOOJUMPS

I don't. ever. I Always strive for better each and every day.i love it! GO GO GO!, its a high for me! but yes, fun stuff!, easily burn 1000 calories a day and way more, I like to keep moving. I only stop about now. wine time. ha.

lporter229

kar328 wrote: »

I tend to be too competitive with myself and am trying to find ways to get my brain to stop and just enjoy what I'm now doing (used to be morbidly obese, now finding out how much I like to move and see what this new body can do)

I'm running in a four mile race the day after tomorrow. I call myself a casual runner, I like it, don't love it, but have trouble making myself not always want to go as fast as I can. I did this race last year in 39:46, I wanted under 40 so I did what I set out to do. Doing less than ten minute miles was a big goal for me (I probably did 17 min ones when I started) and I'm happy that I got to that point. I'm happy with last year's performance but have difficulty telling myself that I don't have to do better this time and to just run it for the sake of doing it. I know when I get on the treadmill and run at slower speeds, I do like it more (I'm fond of that whole breathing thing), but in a race I can't picture myself running that slow.

How do you get yourself to relax and realize it's okay to not have to beat yourself each time?

That is why we race. It's about the adrenaline rush we get from pushing our limits and achieving something we never thought possible. Every time I run a race, I am setting a goal for myself. It may not always be to run my fastest race, but it's about challenging myself. I just ran a marathon after suffering an injury during training. It wasn't my fastest marathon, but I knew that going in. I set a goal to finish and achieved it and I am still on cloud 9. I can't make myself go into a race without knowing I am going to give it my all. There are plenty of opportunities to "relax and enjoy" a run, but for me those don't come on race day.

If you want to run a race without this pressure, I would suggest that you find somebody that you know is slower than you to run with and support them along the way. That is the only way I know to get through a race without putting any pressure on myself and still feel like I accomplished something.

fbchick51

Truthfully.. nearly 40 yrs of being a competitive athlete on and off in one form or another... I've never figured it out. For me, that's the biggest part of the enjoyment for me. It's also the reason I sign up for races and competitions. They give me a goal to strive for and that helps me keep up my motivation.

That said.. I don't beat myself up over not hitting a goal or not improving every time. Rather, I tend to dissect my training with a goal of hitting it next time. Gives me a new goal to look forward to.

kar328

Thank you all for the replies. You gave me a lot to think about and I'll reread this entire thread before I leave in the morning. I get that competing with yourself to improve is a good thing, I just tend to take it too far with myself. I really like the idea of having a goal other than the time to focus on.

Chieflrg

I don't.

I enjoy growing as a athlete and being able to compete, I'm not a complacent person. I set goals to obtain in a realistic timeline and check them off.

lorrpb

kar328 wrote: »

Thank you all for the replies. You gave me a lot to think about and I'll reread this entire thread before I leave in the morning. I get that competing with yourself to improve is a good thing, I just tend to take it too far with myself. I really like the idea of having a goal other than the time to focus on.

Maybe your goal would be to enjoy the race. Pick out different things of the surroundings to focus on each mile!

JeromeBarry1

My brain does not compute "competitive with self". What do you do to you to make you think you are doing too much to you?

zdyb23456

The last race I ran I wanted it to be fun and not stressful. The years prior I was so nervous about running under a certain time it was kind of miserable. So I ran it with friends - I had a great time. I enjoyed the experience and the company and the food afterwards

ClubSilencio

Have you ever had to go on the shelf due to injury? You'll put the competitive spirit on the back burner in favor of just exercising smart so you can do it the next day. Running slower still makes you a better runner.

MeanderingMammal

kar328 wrote: »

Thank you all for the replies. You gave me a lot to think about and I'll reread this entire thread before I leave in the morning. I get that competing with yourself to improve is a good thing, I just tend to take it too far with myself. I really like the idea of having a goal other than the time to focus on.

I was thinking about this post when I was at ParkRun this morning. It's a weekly, free, 5K event, that people use in different ways.

I was extremely ill in February, and it knocked my training completely out of whack. So last week I was aiming at completion in less than 30 minutes. I comfortably did that but had to take two walk breaks of 100metres, at the 2K and 4K point.

This week my goal was pace management, aiming at run completion, almost regardless of how that affected my completion time. I achieved that, and did better for time than i had last week. Having a "non stop running " objective made it a different thing than last week.

It'll take me some time to get down to 23 minutes for completion, but it's about the journey towards that.

In two weeks time I've got a 12 hour race, and as I'm recovering from the illness I've had to really reflect on the goal. I'm now aiming at marathon completion, potentially 50K completion, and being ready for a 10K that night. I've got to steward my energy, recognising I've also got a 10K on the Sunday morning as well.

kar328

Thanks again for all the comments. The weather was great and it was fun, especially going with two friends (I went alone last year). I forgot how hilly it was, but I consider not needing medical attention a win

TavistockToad

kar328 wrote: »

Thanks again for all the comments. The weather was great and it was fun, especially going with two friends (I went alone last year). I forgot how hilly it was, but I consider not needing medical attention a win

Did you PB?