do you fee ashamed abour your weightloss journey?
yanicmyock
Posts: 4 Member
im slightly overweight and i want to lose weight... but id never tell anyone i know out of fear. im afraid people would comment negatively on my body or my plans, like im really ashamed that i want to lose weight. firstly because i really think that everybody can be good, no matter the weight and me trying to lose it is kind of hypocrite and secondly because im oly losing slowlyand i dont want people to comment on that..
anyway, do you have tips on how to handle this kindof shame? or do you expirience something similar?
anyway, do you have tips on how to handle this kindof shame? or do you expirience something similar?
1
Replies
-
I have always been "skinny-fat", so I don't hear the same kind of comments that an overweight person may hear. I think any and probably all negative comments other people make are made because they are envious of you. They know they aren't in the best shape/health/weight and are taking their own shame out on you because you are doing what they know they should be doing also. Fear of failure, especially if you've worked on losing weight and exercising in the past then stopped, is very common. Bottom line is that your health, weight, and fitness goals and plans are YOURS. You don't have to tell a single soul if you don't want to. If friends question why you aren't eating or drinking like you usually do, give them some other excuse, like pizza has started to give you heartburn or whatever, or just tell them you don't feel like eating/drinking ___________ today. This is your journey, and it is your right to keep that journey private. Best of luck!8
-
I wouldn't call it shame. I would call it privacy. Not everything is suitable conversation. Just like you wouldn't ask someone personal questions about their sex life, no one has the right to quiz you about your weight, what you're eating, or your body in any way.
It's personal and private, and if you keep it that way it will stay that way.20 -
HAhahaha! I was never ashamed! I was almost shamed, but I never FELT ashamed.
I started from being near morbidly obese (was ALWAYS obese), now I'm midway overweight. The only time someone actually tried to shame me, they've said I "looked too skinny" I actually look pretty great! A little doughy because I suck at weight training, but I'm slimmer than I was.
You're going to have people say things, but don't let them discourage you. You know you're doing a good thing and as long as you go for it in a healthy manner there's nothing wrong with it !2 -
Ive had pleanty of strangers comment on my weight, not worth the headspace
Ive had so called friends and aqaintanceys make mean comments..... they all had one thing in common, they were overweight/obese themselves.
I do not discuss my diet/ exercise with people
One person knows all of my info. Diet, exercise and my weekly weight. This person knows thier stuff on fitness matters and is the only person i feel comortable sharing with3 -
The only shame I feel is from not taking responsibility for my weight and health sooner but that is more regret than shame. I am not the least bit ashamed of losing the weight. In fact, I am pretty darned proud of it and sincerely hope it helps others to do the same.10
-
I don't feel ashamed about losing weight. I felt pretty darn ashamed/embarrassed clothes shopping at my heaviest. (I was a 3X, which was just about the maximum size stocked by a plus store I like. Now, I'm more like a 20/1X/X and just about ready for the non-plus locations!)2
-
I wasn't ashamed during my active weight loss phase, but it was also no one elses business. I only told my husband and continued wearing baggy clothes through most of my weight loss, (it was also wintertime, so it was normal to be bundled up most times). People I knew figured things out once summer hit and they realized I was missing around 50lbs lol, but I kept things to myself, and continue to do so now in maintenance. MFP is really the only place where I talk freely about my weight gain/health issue caused by it/weight loss/maintenance.6
-
I don't feel ashamed about trying to better myself. I feel very ashamed that I allowed myself to balloon up 325 lbs. You don't have to share this part of your life with others if you're not comfortable doing so.2
-
No shame in telling people that you are making changes in your lifestyle for health reasons - no one needs to know that its weight loss you are aiming for. No one woud make rude comments if you were trying to avoid diabetes or heart disease or hypertension. I dont understand how people feel entitled to make snide comments about weight - they wouldnt do it about any other medical condition.2
-
This is for you, this is your journey. Do not feel ashamed, but only tell people what you're comfortable telling them. Some people in my life know I'm actively losing weight, some people don't, but have noticed and have commented on it. I just thank them for their comments and move along
2 -
At first I kept quiet about it to all but my husband, and just read these forums, devouring all the years of advice so kindly given by others who had successfully lost weight.
After about a week, I told my closest workmates since I was so happy to have lost 2 kg. I continued to devour the forums.
After losing weight consistently and sustainably for several months, I couldn't help telling all my friends on Facebook.
By then, I was ready to shout to the rooftops about how I'd found a free, easy, and scientific way to lose weight.
Everyone was very happy for me.
Initially, while I wouldn't call it "shame" at all, I did feel a bit strange when I started weighing my food. But I knew that that was key to this successful, scientific method, and that strangeness turned into endless curiosity about how interesting food nutrition is.
Well done for exploring MFP, and for starting this thread. I hope you keep reading and learning.3 -
Nope.0
-
People's worth is not measured in pounds (not money, not weight). Losing weight for health is a good decision. Losing slowly almost always means healthy weight loss rate.
Share whatever you are comfortable with sharing, with people you are comfortable sharing it with.2 -
This content has been removed.
-
I don't discuss my weight loss journey much with friends or family because many have their own opinions based on fad diets and rubbish spouted by the media. When I hit a third of my loss, I posted on facebook about it, because I was quite proud of myself and I won't post again until I hit my next third. I get far better support and feedback from my MFP buddies.4
-
I used to have shame to mention anything because i've started and stopped so many fads that it became pretty pathetic. When i finally learned HOW to lose weight in 2013 I didn't mention it to anyone (I didnt' really have to since I was eating all the regular foods so no one really noticed) until I was 40lbs lighter and by then they really couldn't say *kitten*. Went on to lose 40 more and now it's just a thing I do and no one says anything lol
ETA It wasn't shame about my body, it was shame that I might *give up* more than anything3 -
cmriverside wrote: »I wouldn't call it shame. I would call it privacy. Not everything is suitable conversation. Just like you wouldn't ask someone personal questions about their sex life, no one has the right to quiz you about your weight, what you're eating, or your body in any way.
It's personal and private, and if you keep it that way it will stay that way.
You nailed it so hard it's filing assault charges on you.2 -
I try my best not to feel ashamed but literally everyone in my life (my partner, co workers, friends, family) is against me losing weight and exercising (seems crazy right?) Its hard not to feel ashamed though when people you are close to shake their head at you and say 'You don't need to lose weight or do so much exercise, don't be silly!' I have even had one comment from someone who said to me 'You will make yourself Anorexic!' (a really stupid *kitten* comment). I wasn't even the one to tell everybody close to me about my fitness plans and weight loss journey, thats all down to my partner!
When people make silly comments like the above, I don't even respond. I just keep my face neutral and carry on!
My goal weight is classed as being healthy BMI for me and I have been losing weight through exercise and healthy eating so the way I see it is, as long as I am losing weight in the RIGHT way, I don't see why there should be any reason for concern.
I hope you do get supported through your journey! MyFitnessPal family is what keeps me motivated with their support and advice
0 -
No, I wasn't ashamed to be losing weight. I was disappointed in myself for letting me get/stay so overweight but I wasn't ashamed to be fixing it. I didn't really share what I was doing with many people. My husband knew and my sister and then other people noticed along the way but I didn't really discuss it much.2
-
Well, not ashamed; dissapointed in my efforts and results would be more like it. Sometimes it seems like I'm not working it correctly and just drifting along.0
-
I only discuss it when asked and I'm thinking I'll just steer clear of it even then.
Saw a buddy Saturday who asked, so I told him (down ~ 90 lbs) and the best he could come up with is "I remember when you lost before and said you weren't going to gain it back. Guess that didn't work."
So, yeah. I'm rethinking even answering questions about it. Also rethinking that friendship as he's come up with this kind of *kitten* over a couple of topics.0 -
I'm a very "this is how I am, take it or leave it" type of person. I never feel shame for who I am/what I'm doing with my life. I regularly tweet about my weight loss. I answer (reasonable) questions from people. When people are obnoxious though, I usually give them a curt, honest answer and that generally shuts them up.
Don't be ashamed you're losing weight. You're getting healthier! So what if you're not losing weight "fast"? You're losing!
You are making a positive change in your life and if the people around you are not supportive of that (or at least neutral) then they have no business being in your life.0 -
dont feel ashamed, nothing wrong with wanting to change
i was obese and didnt feel shame, even when i was on the spin bike trying to keep up with the class. i even learnt to ride a bike in the middle of a busy London park. its nobodys business.
good luck wish you all the best.1 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »I only discuss it when asked and I'm thinking I'll just steer clear of it even then.
Saw a buddy Saturday who asked, so I told him (down ~ 90 lbs) and the best he could come up with is "I remember when you lost before and said you weren't going to gain it back. Guess that didn't work."
So, yeah. I'm rethinking even answering questions about it. Also rethinking that friendship as he's come up with this kind of *kitten* over a couple of topics.
Ouch. Yes, I would ditch that guy. Or create some major distance, at least. Wow.
OP, if you feel you want to keep it private, that's not unhealthy shame, just a desire for privacy. There's nothing at all wrong with that.0 -
Only when people gush over my weight loss or think I'm some sort of expert. My doctor is pleased and wanted to know how I was losing and I couldn't tell her without sounding like I have an ED.1
-
I had been shamed when I started losing weight. It did make me feel ashamed of the fact that I was trying to better myself and try not to feel so self conscious about my weight since it was something that I had struggled with since I started high school. People made comments about how I was 'showing off' how much weight I had lost/I made them feel bad.
But now I don't really care. I mainly talk to my mum and dad about it along with my boyfriend and they're all really supportive of it! You will find people that will make comments but you just have to not care about what they say! Most of the time they're just jealous.1 -
I had a very difficult time at the beginning of my journey. I was ashamed and embarrassed the size I was. I guess I figured if I didn't bring it up, it wouldn't be an issue (Did I think they couldn't SEE me?). As I started to lose weight slowly, I started sharing more and opening up to friends, family and co-workers. I was STUNNED at the results of this vulnerability. Almost everyone was SO supportive. I learned that I was NOT my body. I was not what you saw on the outside. I had support, accountability and people to turn to when I not only needed help but when I needed and wanted to celebrate! I also learned that others needed my support and encouragement as well. And it didn't matter if they "appeared" to need it. Everyone faces there own demons and issues. The more we share with others, we learn that we can misinterpret how someone comes across as they are facing their own issues. I used to come across as standoffish at times, but was really just embarrassed to open up. I've now lost over 85 lbs and I don't think I could have done that without the support, love and encouragement (not to mention the accountability) of those around me.1
-
I never felt ashamed, but I also didn't ever advertise that I was trying to lose weight. I guess I just never felt the need to? I think it's really easy to overshare on personal projects (whether it's weight loss or something else), to the point where your friends are silently praying you won't bring it up yet again, and I didn't want to be "one of those people", lol.0
-
I feel ashamed for letting myself weigh as high as 217lbs before finally doing something about it, but do I feel ashamed for my weight loss journey? No, not now and I never was. I'm proud of what I did/doing even when I get negative comments. But there is nothing wrong with keeping it private, when I decided to lose weight I told everyone because I figured I would be held to it and I would get motivation/help from family and friends, which i did at first but when I started losing I started to receive a lot of negative comments and I made my weight loss as private as possible.
If you do get negative comments, brush it off and keep going. And remember no matter how little you're losing you are making a positive change, don't give up.0 -
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions