do you fee ashamed abour your weightloss journey?

yanicmyock

im slightly overweight and i want to lose weight... but id never tell anyone i know out of fear. im afraid people would comment negatively on my body or my plans, like im really ashamed that i want to lose weight. firstly because i really think that everybody can be good, no matter the weight and me trying to lose it is kind of hypocrite and secondly because im oly losing slowlyand i dont want people to comment on that..

anyway, do you have tips on how to handle this kindof shame? or do you expirience something similar?

Wd011000

I have always been "skinny-fat", so I don't hear the same kind of comments that an overweight person may hear. I think any and probably all negative comments other people make are made because they are envious of you. They know they aren't in the best shape/health/weight and are taking their own shame out on you because you are doing what they know they should be doing also. Fear of failure, especially if you've worked on losing weight and exercising in the past then stopped, is very common. Bottom line is that your health, weight, and fitness goals and plans are YOURS. You don't have to tell a single soul if you don't want to. If friends question why you aren't eating or drinking like you usually do, give them some other excuse, like pizza has started to give you heartburn or whatever, or just tell them you don't feel like eating/drinking ___________ today. This is your journey, and it is your right to keep that journey private. Best of luck!

cmriverside

I wouldn't call it shame. I would call it privacy. Not everything is suitable conversation. Just like you wouldn't ask someone personal questions about their sex life, no one has the right to quiz you about your weight, what you're eating, or your body in any way.

It's personal and private, and if you keep it that way it will stay that way.

MaddMaestro

HAhahaha! I was never ashamed! I was almost shamed, but I never FELT ashamed.

I started from being near morbidly obese (was ALWAYS obese), now I'm midway overweight. The only time someone actually tried to shame me, they've said I "looked too skinny" I actually look pretty great! A little doughy because I suck at weight training, but I'm slimmer than I was.

You're going to have people say things, but don't let them discourage you. You know you're doing a good thing and as long as you go for it in a healthy manner there's nothing wrong with it !

ruqayyahsmum

Ive had pleanty of strangers comment on my weight, not worth the headspace

Ive had so called friends and aqaintanceys make mean comments..... they all had one thing in common, they were overweight/obese themselves.

I do not discuss my diet/ exercise with people
One person knows all of my info. Diet, exercise and my weekly weight. This person knows thier stuff on fitness matters and is the only person i feel comortable sharing with

Chadxx

The only shame I feel is from not taking responsibility for my weight and health sooner but that is more regret than shame. I am not the least bit ashamed of losing the weight. In fact, I am pretty darned proud of it and sincerely hope it helps others to do the same.

estherdragonbat

I don't feel ashamed about losing weight. I felt pretty darn ashamed/embarrassed clothes shopping at my heaviest. (I was a 3X, which was just about the maximum size stocked by a plus store I like. Now, I'm more like a 20/1X/X and just about ready for the non-plus locations!)

crazyycatlady1

I wasn't ashamed during my active weight loss phase, but it was also no one elses business. I only told my husband and continued wearing baggy clothes through most of my weight loss, (it was also wintertime, so it was normal to be bundled up most times). People I knew figured things out once summer hit and they realized I was missing around 50lbs lol, but I kept things to myself, and continue to do so now in maintenance. MFP is really the only place where I talk freely about my weight gain/health issue caused by it/weight loss/maintenance.

cordney

I don't feel ashamed about trying to better myself. I feel very ashamed that I allowed myself to balloon up 325 lbs. You don't have to share this part of your life with others if you're not comfortable doing so.

cross2bear

No shame in telling people that you are making changes in your lifestyle for health reasons - no one needs to know that its weight loss you are aiming for. No one woud make rude comments if you were trying to avoid diabetes or heart disease or hypertension. I dont understand how people feel entitled to make snide comments about weight - they wouldnt do it about any other medical condition.

spiffychick85

This is for you, this is your journey. Do not feel ashamed, but only tell people what you're comfortable telling them. Some people in my life know I'm actively losing weight, some people don't, but have noticed and have commented on it. I just thank them for their comments and move along

Orphia

At first I kept quiet about it to all but my husband, and just read these forums, devouring all the years of advice so kindly given by others who had successfully lost weight.

After about a week, I told my closest workmates since I was so happy to have lost 2 kg. I continued to devour the forums.

After losing weight consistently and sustainably for several months, I couldn't help telling all my friends on Facebook.

By then, I was ready to shout to the rooftops about how I'd found a free, easy, and scientific way to lose weight.

Everyone was very happy for me.

Initially, while I wouldn't call it "shame" at all, I did feel a bit strange when I started weighing my food. But I knew that that was key to this successful, scientific method, and that strangeness turned into endless curiosity about how interesting food nutrition is.

Well done for exploring MFP, and for starting this thread. I hope you keep reading and learning.

ChristopherLimoges

Nope.

kommodevaran

People's worth is not measured in pounds (not money, not weight). Losing weight for health is a good decision. Losing slowly almost always means healthy weight loss rate.

Share whatever you are comfortable with sharing, with people you are comfortable sharing it with.

tinkerbellang83

I don't discuss my weight loss journey much with friends or family because many have their own opinions based on fad diets and rubbish spouted by the media. When I hit a third of my loss, I posted on facebook about it, because I was quite proud of myself and I won't post again until I hit my next third. I get far better support and feedback from my MFP buddies.

inertiastrength

I used to have shame to mention anything because i've started and stopped so many fads that it became pretty pathetic. When i finally learned HOW to lose weight in 2013 I didn't mention it to anyone (I didnt' really have to since I was eating all the regular foods so no one really noticed) until I was 40lbs lighter and by then they really couldn't say *kitten*. Went on to lose 40 more and now it's just a thing I do and no one says anything lol

ETA It wasn't shame about my body, it was shame that I might *give up* more than anything

2011rocket3touring

cmriverside wrote: »

I wouldn't call it shame. I would call it privacy. Not everything is suitable conversation. Just like you wouldn't ask someone personal questions about their sex life, no one has the right to quiz you about your weight, what you're eating, or your body in any way.

It's personal and private, and if you keep it that way it will stay that way.

You nailed it so hard it's filing assault charges on you.

briohne128

I try my best not to feel ashamed but literally everyone in my life (my partner, co workers, friends, family) is against me losing weight and exercising (seems crazy right?) Its hard not to feel ashamed though when people you are close to shake their head at you and say 'You don't need to lose weight or do so much exercise, don't be silly!' I have even had one comment from someone who said to me 'You will make yourself Anorexic!' (a really stupid *kitten* comment). I wasn't even the one to tell everybody close to me about my fitness plans and weight loss journey, thats all down to my partner!

When people make silly comments like the above, I don't even respond. I just keep my face neutral and carry on!

My goal weight is classed as being healthy BMI for me and I have been losing weight through exercise and healthy eating so the way I see it is, as long as I am losing weight in the RIGHT way, I don't see why there should be any reason for concern.

I hope you do get supported through your journey! MyFitnessPal family is what keeps me motivated with their support and advice

jemhh

No, I wasn't ashamed to be losing weight. I was disappointed in myself for letting me get/stay so overweight but I wasn't ashamed to be fixing it. I didn't really share what I was doing with many people. My husband knew and my sister and then other people noticed along the way but I didn't really discuss it much.

Nikion901

Well, not ashamed; dissapointed in my efforts and results would be more like it. Sometimes it seems like I'm not working it correctly and just drifting along.