Friend Envy

AlongCame_Molly

I used to BE that friend. Guess what, it caught up to me and I got real fat, real quick. Still paying for it, now.

In a few years she will be jealous of you, because you will have learned to lose and keep off weight, while she will have no idea how to take care of herself and will be forced to start at square one.

MyaPapaya75

No I made my bed now I have to lie in it....my thin friends were either just lucky or didnt indulge as much as I did. I don't expect anyone to be jealous of me when I reach my goal either..I just want them to look at me and say "Wow" and mean it..

bluefox9er

no..i am in awe of my friends and they are a source of inspiration to me

Alpina483

She might have weight issues later in life.. let's hope not, but it's possible... and by that time you are already in shape AND an expert in dealing with the issues. Who's envious then?

PepePants

There will always be people who appear to "have it all" through little to no effort. But, if she really eats junk food then she's probably not all that healthy and her insides might not look so great...Better to focus on yourself.

Britterboo22

I think its the other way around for my bestie although she says she has started dieting but as mentioned I don't see what she eats or does.

Melissa22G

Nah. I usually just skin them and wear their skin as a body suit and it makes me feel much better.

calibriintx

I used to. But then I took a big girl pill and realized the grass is not always greener. Things aren't always the way they seem.

^This right here. I felt that way as a kid, probably through high school. My "fit" friends worked hard for it, so I wasn't really jealous of them, with one exception. She had a rockin hot body and she ate SO MUCH FOOD. Soda for breakfast, a personal pizza and a burger at lunch, chips, candy bars, etc. in between.

Anyway, years later I realized that her mom was a total psycho. This friend didn't appear to exercise and she ate a ton, but it was b/c her mom made her work out like a maniac and restricted her food, so she stuffed her face whenever she left the house.

You can wish in one hand and sh1t in the other and see which one fills up faster. Seriously, you have your body, your genetics, your metabolism, and you have to figure out what to do with it. I'm not trying to sound mean - it's just something you have to accept, because being jealous about it won't change your body, but it will change your life. It'll start with this friendship and cascade in other areas of your life.


*I also want to point out that I thought this was going to be a thread about MFP FL envy. I was all ready to pour my heart out.:grumble:

quiltlovinlisa

Nah.

Life's too short to waste on envy. We all have different talents, different strengths, gifts if you will. I may struggle with my weight but I have some mad color/design skills that my friends can't match.

Embrace who you are. You'll be happier.

bootsiejayne

No. My sister is my "ideal" weight. But I'm the much happier person. Go figure. I think it's 'cause I have better boobs. Happy and confident is more attractive than a good body with a poor self image.

drkuhl2017

Not all that much... my best friend is tiny but she has a boyish figure, no curves at all. Now me on the other hand, I have an hourglass type figure and I love my curves. Not to mention that she is 8.5 inches shorter than me. Don't get me wrong, I "envy" (to an extent) certain parts of her body, mostly her stomach because it's awesome! But I definitely don't envy her because she worked hard for her body (she lost like 30 pound I believe it was) and I'll get my own version of myself soon enough.

grandpoobah12

Everyone feels envious sometimes, It`s natural, the (kinda harsh) big girl panties comments are just trying to tell you that these things mean less and less as you get older. You realize your lucky to have friends but your best friend is always and only you. You`ll really want to stop worrying as soon as possible.

Life is a lot more fun when your not looking for the next better thing.

Ha ha maybe.

Mishinmite

They can't really eat whatever they want and stay fit. It might seem that way, but maybe they're just really active. Otherwise it won't last forever. My best friend is about my size so I don't have this issue, but I can understand how it would make you feel a little jealous. I think that means you're human. Don't let it ruin your friendship. Just concentrate on the things you love about her.

AllyCatXandi

It's more their ability to know when they're full and to stop eating when they are that I envy. That they don't have to measure everything they consume to maintain whatever weight they are.

I however have an unfortunate case of 'must-clear-the-plate' mentality, combined with a (now) irrational 'will-there-even-be-stuff-on-the-table-tomorrow' concern, with a lovely touch of 'don't-like-wasting-food' thrown in.

Oh yeah. And I like chocolate. Like, a LOT.

But hey, we all have our demons. I don't have theirs and they don't have mine. And sometimes you don't even know what's going on - there have been instances where people I've looked up to and admired in terms of their appearance/confidence/talent have turned out to actually be painfully insecure/fearful/depressed.

I know where I struggle, and I'm doing something about it. I can't change who I am, so just gotta work with what I have

BiancaMarie819

Actually yes! But the other way around! Some of my friends are envious of the fact that I go to the gym every day 5-6 times a week, and that I've lost 25 pounds. I'm envious that I'm 170 and I still look pretty much the same! and My friend is 160 and has a medium build. Maybe these last ten pounds will show some major differences?

PlayerHatinDogooder

One word:

Sabotage

Get on it.

JDHINAZ

Nah. I usually just skin them and wear their skin as a body suit and it makes me feel much better.

This, except I need another skinny friend so that my body suit will fit. I'll take your friend of they're really bothering you.

_meesh_

I admit I'm an 'adult' and I'm envious of many people. My best friend has lost weight (not that I thought she needed to, but she did) by getting to the gym and eating healthy. I wish I had her willpower for eating healthier. My cousin is a wicked crazy runner, and I wish I could like running as much as she does. I know both of them have other things in thier lives that aren't good, and they probably envy me a bit for things I've done.

While I try to use that envy to motivate me to get out and do what they do, I still sometimes just wish that I had half of the motivation or desire that they have.

muguet21

If eating junk food or eating whatever you want to eat at any time is your goal, it doesn't sound very healthy. Remember, they may be thin on the outside but possibly rotting on the inside. Being thin is one part of the deal. You may look great but may not feel great. Maybe you should work on your mindset and as to why you want to watch your weight. By doing that you won't feel envious or jealous of your friend's size and eating habits.

Focus on positive changes that will help you feel better about yourself. Is your friend bothering you because she's making comments or purposely trying to make you feel horrible? Or is she supportive and the negative thoughts are from you? If it's the latter, please put yourself in her shoes and evaluate how that would make you feel. She's allowed to eat what she wants and that's none of your responsibility or business, just like it's none of her business what you decide to eat for lunch or dessert.

Your friends will not do any work for you. You are the only one responsible for your health. I hope that those feelings will go away because they are not a good source of motivation. There will always be prettier people, thinner people, and people who wear stuff you're dreaming of wearing. And it shouldn't matter. Eat what you want, make your own decisions as to what is best for your body and wear what you want. It's much more satisfying that looking at other people and wishing you were them or just like them.