Do people try to tell you your weight goal is "too skinny" for you?
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DapperDassie wrote: »It's really annoying. I'm 5'7 started at 215 and now at 183.5. My goal is a 140 and gonna see how i feel but might even want to keep going for 5 or 10 lbs. I've had multiple people say I'll be too thin at 140 and should stop at 150 or 160? I don't think I40 at 5'7 is thin at all and also don't see how it's anyone business as well
I'm 5'4" my goal is 127lbs and even I've been told to aim higher. Really it's no one's business or choice. Everyone has personal preferences as to how they want to look and feel. I think 140lbs at 5'7" is thin but also healthy. I was thin at 140lbs and 5'4" and was told I looked very thin. It depends on a lot - your body shape, frame size (bone structure), age, for women bra size is a factor, etc. It really varies a lot so make your goal whatever you want to end up.0 -
Yes, but if your BMI is in a good range and you feel and look good, then that particular weight should be fine. People thought my goal of 135 lbs. at 5'8 was too low, but it looks alright to me... which is my current pic. <--- Now it's time to gain muscle. I wouldn't worry about other people's opinions. Your goal weight is definitely not too light.
Wth that makes me think 127 is too high for me at 5'4" lol I want to look thinner than you as a guy Lol. But from what I recall I did....odd how weight is spread out differently for other people1 -
fitoverfortymom wrote: »Most of the people in my life now have never seen me at a healthy weight. I am 5'6" and down to 174 now after starting out at 256. My goal is 150, which is the top end of my BMI. I weighed about what I weigh now when I met most of the people in my life, so this is the thinnest I've ever been to them. When I explain I'm aiming for the top end of being barely "normal" and not "overweight" the feedback subsides, but I'm anticipating more opinions on my skinniness to come up over the next few months as I shed the rest of it.
At the end of the day, if I was destined to be my current weight for the rest of my life, I could deal with it. I would really love live my life as a "normal" weight person, though.
Part of me wonders if people don't want to be bigger than us if they were thinner than us before. Seriously. It might be an insecurity thing. Like if we are aiming thinner than them maybe they need to lose a few inches. Lol.1 -
I'm 5'7", started out at 211lbs with a goal of 140lbs. I'm currently sitting at 146lbs and yes, I had people telling me I'd be 'too thin' when I got to my goal weight. I can tell you now, I am not 'too thin. I've kept my curves and still have a belly - I need to do more strength training to try and shift it as much as I'm able but have been ill recently so exercise has gone on the back burner. Ultimately you know how best you look and feel for yourself, it's no-one else's business. Heck, *I* didn't know what I'd look like at 140, so how on earth other people did/do, I do not know!
I think the issue I had with other people was that I've always been big/fat/chubby so seeing me now (when I weigh 12lbs under what I did at 17 years old) is a bit of a shock but, I agree with previous posters who say people just aren't used to seeing 'normal' weights on people. At the end of the day, while the concern of friends/family may come from a good place, it's up to you to get your head down and work towards your goals. Thank them for their input, tell them you'll take on board their concerns and then do whatever you damn well please. Worked for me!
Well done on your progress so far.
I can see that, it's even more so with me, I was 20 lbs over my goal weight at 11 years old. I was already 5'5 and had developed very early on but still. Probably haven't been 140 since I was 9 years old0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »DapperDassie wrote: »This is me at 185
I definitely think I have room to lose another 45 lbs if not 50 lol
Ok, now I know why people are giving you a hard time. I don't see where that 45-50 pounds is going to come from either.
Mostly my thighs haha
But no trust me it's there0 -
DapperDassie wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DapperDassie wrote: »This is me at 185
I definitely think I have room to lose another 45 lbs if not 50 lol
Ok, now I know why people are giving you a hard time. I don't see where that 45-50 pounds is going to come from either.
Mostly my thighs haha
But no trust me it's there
You know you best. 45-50 pounds is more than a quarter of your current weight. If you really can lose that much (which I'm not saying isn't possible), you're certainly carrying it well.
That said, after you lose the first 20 pounds, you'll know whether or not you can stand to lose another 20. You might decide "yes". You might decide "lose 10 then re-evaluate and see if the next 10 is a good idea". That's the nice thing about goals. They're moving targets. If we overreach, we can move the goal higher. If we set a comfortable goal that turns out to be not low enough, we can move the goal lower.
My current goal is at the very top of the "normal" BMI range. Once I get there, I'll decide whether or not I want to go lower. I'll probably try for another 10 pounds, but I want the feeling of accomplishment that goes with meeting the preliminary goal first.
The thing about the "normal" BMI range is that it's big for a reason. Some people really are small enough to be best near the low end of it (and may feel overweight while still within the "normal" range). Others have larger frames/longer torsos/more muscle and are best near the upper end (and still healthy in the low end of the "overweight" range while they would be underweight at the low end of "normal"). And, of course, there's the people in the middle.3 -
My favorite was when someone thinner than me told me I needed to stop losing weight because I was "getting sooo skinny." All I could do was laugh awkwardly.0
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SusanMFindlay wrote: »DapperDassie wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »DapperDassie wrote: »This is me at 185
I definitely think I have room to lose another 45 lbs if not 50 lol
Ok, now I know why people are giving you a hard time. I don't see where that 45-50 pounds is going to come from either.
Mostly my thighs haha
But no trust me it's there
You know you best. 45-50 pounds is more than a quarter of your current weight. If you really can lose that much (which I'm not saying isn't possible), you're certainly carrying it well.
That said, after you lose the first 20 pounds, you'll know whether or not you can stand to lose another 20. You might decide "yes". You might decide "lose 10 then re-evaluate and see if the next 10 is a good idea". That's the nice thing about goals. They're moving targets. If we overreach, we can move the goal higher. If we set a comfortable goal that turns out to be not low enough, we can move the goal lower.
My current goal is at the very top of the "normal" BMI range. Once I get there, I'll decide whether or not I want to go lower. I'll probably try for another 10 pounds, but I want the feeling of accomplishment that goes with meeting the preliminary goal first.
The thing about the "normal" BMI range is that it's big for a reason. Some people really are small enough to be best near the low end of it (and may feel overweight while still within the "normal" range). Others have larger frames/longer torsos/more muscle and are best near the upper end (and still healthy in the low end of the "overweight" range while they would be underweight at the low end of "normal"). And, of course, there's the people in the middle.
That's exactly what I was thinking. I just think I'll feel like I look the best at 140 but I'm open to see what happens2 -
A little late here but I can relate.
I am 5'7" and my goal weight range right now is 140-145. I am currently at 157.5. I started out at 179.2. It's only recently that coworkers have begun to notice the weight loss. Most have been positive but then I will get the ones who say "your don't need to lose anymore" or "you'll look like a scarecrow if you do". Much like the others, most of these people are overweight. I take it with a grain of salt and tell them that there are still areas I want to tone up (not to mention I for once want thighs that DO NOT RUB!). They have left it alone. Where I'll be interested to see some reaction from is my family who I will be seeing for the first time since Christmas (and I was 20 lbs heavier).
Anyway. I say keep your goal. It's in the healthy BMI range and as long as you are healthy and happy, who cares?0 -
DapperDassie wrote: »It's really annoying. I'm 5'7 started at 215 and now at 183.5. My goal is a 140 and gonna see how i feel but might even want to keep going for 5 or 10 lbs. I've had multiple people say I'll be too thin at 140 and should stop at 150 or 160? I don't think I40 at 5'7 is thin at all and also don't see how it's anyone business as well
If it's not their business, why do you keep telling people your goal?3 -
I don't know why they would have such an opinion about your goal weight. 140 isn't too thin I don't think. I'm 5'10" and my ideal is 140 as well.0
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I don't ever say what my goal is for this exact reason!!0
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No, because I don't talk about it or my eating habits.2
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »DapperDassie wrote: »It's really annoying. I'm 5'7 started at 215 and now at 183.5. My goal is a 140 and gonna see how i feel but might even want to keep going for 5 or 10 lbs. I've had multiple people say I'll be too thin at 140 and should stop at 150 or 160? I don't think I40 at 5'7 is thin at all and also don't see how it's anyone business as well
If it's not their business, why do you keep telling people your goal?
If you read the previous comments you'll see that I only told close friends and family that asked (literally like 4 people). I haven't told anyone since then. Idk why you assume i kept doing it0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Yes, but if your BMI is in a good range and you feel and look good, then that particular weight should be fine. People thought my goal of 135 lbs. at 5'8 was too low, but it looks alright to me... which is my current pic. <--- Now it's time to gain muscle. I wouldn't worry about other people's opinions. Your goal weight is definitely not too light.
Wth that makes me think 127 is too high for me at 5'4" lol I want to look thinner than you as a guy Lol. But from what I recall I did....odd how weight is spread out differently for other people
Depends on many things, like bone structure. If you have a small bone structure then any muscle you'll put on will be noticeable, in a good way. So it made me realize weight doesn't really matter, it's how you look (besides being healthy of course). My pic was my most leanest state though, so that's why it was so light. Women tend to carry more fat, and that's why around 15% body fat looks great on a woman, which would be equivalent to a guy being 10% body fat. It definitely does vary.0 -
I am also 5'7" and many years ago I got down to 155 and got all kinds of comments about how "skinny" I was, but I was 135 in high school and I think that is probably my best weight. This time (I have gone way up in weight again) and I've only been eating better for the last 5 weeks, I'm not telling anyone my goals or even that I'm trying to lose weight, except my SO who is very supportive. My goal is not so much the number this time it is health (knees and blood pressure). I'll know when I get to a good weight for me, and at my age I don't really care what anyone else thinks. That is the best thing for me about getting older
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I don't even tell people my goal weight. Just see how you look when you get there. If these people aren't your doctor don't listen. If someone ask what your goal weight is I would just say I'm trying to be healthy and see where it takes me2
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I didn't even tell people my goal weight - they just comment anyway with "you better not lose anymore" or "you're wasting away" or the like.0
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heiliskrimsli wrote: »mca90guitar wrote: »Hell my family said I was skinny at 220 lol.
I'm a guy and aiming for 165 at 5' 8"
The fact that they would say that when your goal weight is still overweight just goes to show that people have lost any ability to understand what normal weight looks like.
That would be a BMI of 25.1, so barely overweight.1 -
Most "Americans" have a skewed reality of a healthy image. There are so many overweight folks running around it has become "the new normal". Many of these comments are also to excuse the image of the commenter (make them feel better about their own body image).
Keep chugging along, just know the comments from these folks aren't going to stop, but the more common they get the closer you are to your goal(s) ;-)1
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