Do people try to tell you your weight goal is "too skinny" for you?
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lemurcat12 wrote: »No, but I don't share my goal weight with anybody. I don't have an actual number goal weight anyway. In the beginning my goal was to get to a healthy weight and everything after that is based on how much jiggling goes on in certain places.
All of this.
I have gotten "you aren't trying to lose more are you" and I just smile and say "just working on fitness" or something vague. It's no one's business and most people are terrible at understanding what weights and heights together look like, especially given all the variation.
Same here.
When my doctor told me that it wasn't necessary to lose any more weight and I was still planning to, I told her that I wanted to lose some vanity body fat and that it would have the benefit of improving my running performance. She was fine with that, and that's all that really matters.4 -
I've only told my husband and my mom and they both worried it would be too much. Good thing I didn't tell them my dream weight! I'm only 5'0 but if I said something like 102lbs (just to have lost 50lbs and see if I could do it) they would flip:^D I told them around 110 which is probably more reasonable. I assured them if it doesn't look good when I get there I am fully aware of how to gain some back :^P7
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »I keep my weight loss goals to myself. I don't get commentary. Win/win.
This. I don't see it as anyone's business, either, so I don't make it their business by telling them. No one needs to know but me and maybe my doctor.1 -
People already tell me that I'm too thin and need to eat more/stop dieting. I tell them it's not their business.2
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I get this CONSTANTLY and it drives me up a wall. I was getting comments like this from people when I was 10 lbs heavier than I am NOW.
But here's the thing I've realized:
A lot - a LOT of people who say this are people who have been overweight for so long that they've forgotten what it really means not to be. Just something to keep in mind.5 -
Hey, there! We're the same height
I used to share my weight loss goals, but I noticed those that were extremely jealous of any progress did their best to sabotage my efforts with similar statements. I really don't have time for their ignorance, so I don't bring it up anymore. I agree with other folks that only we, ourselves know how our bodies feel. Good luck to you and keep being fabulous. 
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JohnDavid1969 wrote: »I get this CONSTANTLY and it drives me up a wall. I was getting comments like this from people when I was 10 lbs heavier than I am NOW.
But here's the thing I've realized:
A lot - a LOT of people who say this are people who have been overweight for so long that they've forgotten what it really means not to be. Just something to keep in mind.
So many crabs in the bucket. I refuse to be one of them.
I have never been told this by someone who is fit, personally. The fit people that I have talked to about fitness, diet and exercise have always been nothing but encouraging of healthy goals and maintaining a weight in the normal range.3 -
Oh my gosh I get this all the time from my in laws (sister and mother). :-/ it is soooo irritating. I'm shorter than you 5'2.5". I've been told now multiple times(even when I was still deep in the over weight size) that I needed to stop and I shouldn't get any smaller(this was at 145 and believe that's too much for my frame). Then they tell me they thought I was WAY WAY too thin and looked like I had an eating disorder on my wedding day(10 years ago) at 120 lbs. Which honestly is just rude. And further more, I was IN NO WAY anorexic looking, that's still middle normal BMI for my height. I looked fantastic on my wedding day and that's the only thing a person should ever say about a bride(10 years down the road or not). I was at a really really good weight and that is my goal weight. Frankly I've about had it with their comments and I'm gonna lay some truth bombs soon if they keep pressing me. I don't ask for their opinions and frankly it's rude to make negative comments on someone's weight big or not. It just amazes me that when someone has a weightloss people seem to think it makes it okay to dictate to another person what a good weight or size is for them.2
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I lied to the DMV by ~ 30 lbs.
Now that I've lost 90, it really looks wrong.
But I still am obese so, no I don't have the problem of people telling me to stop losing weight yet.0 -
I'm the same hight and currently 108 Ibs, a bit too less, they tell. But I think that for our hight 140 or even the less 120 is quite ok. On the other hand, others may look batter in 160 Ibs. It depends on person, so don't listen to omniscient people and go to the weight that you feel comfortable and - what's the most important - healthy
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Nobody tells me my goals are wrong because I don't share them with family and friends yet. I know at 5 ft 10 I want to get to under 174 which takes me to normal bmi . Beyond that well all of high school and college I was 138 and maybe but was a high school and college athlete not sure attainable in my 40s I figure I will keep going till I like it.
So stop sharing numbers people have no idea what a weight at a height looks like. Continue until you are happy with your results.0 -
I went through this too. My family said I was too skinny when I got to the middle of the "normal" BMI range. I don't tell people my goals anymore. I think they're so used to seeing overweight people as normal weight their perception is skewed.2
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I had it only tonight in fact. They tell me with my build even a BMI of 25 would be too low for me.
When I can be bothered to get into the debate I just say "show me a fat skeleton then"
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I've had people tell me I shouldn't lose any more weight but it has got to be total crap...I mean I'm 5'1" and 154 lbs...come on, LOL. There is no universe in which that could be too thin.
I think sometimes people say that either because they are afraid of you changing, or because they feel guilty for not wanting to get healthy themselves, or perhaps because they have run out of compliments since they've already told you before that you were looking good so they figure this is a creative newer compliment.
"Too thin" these days seems to have taken on new meaning. In the 80s I weighed 95 lbs. and pretty much nobody worried I was too thin. We are getting used to overweight being the new normal. Therefore, being even close to a healthy weight seems "skinny."11 -
I also think part of it is they're so used to seeing is a certain size so, any drastic reduction of that size, is going to be amplified from their viewpoint. If you went up to a stranger and asked if they thought you were too thin they'd probably have a completely different answer as they don't have the prior image of you in their mind.7
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People who aren't familiar with what a healthy weight is can react strangely when you tell them your goal.
What might work better is, when asked by family and friends what you are aiming for, to give a clothes size instead. For example 'I'd like to fit into a size 8'. I think that's something more people can relate to.6 -
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DapperDassie wrote: »140lb seems perfectly reasonable to me for 5'7 that is a normal bmi. I'm the same height as you but are aiming a little higher (155lb ish) that's because personally I feel I would look too thin at 140 but I probably have a different build. Thing is people are so used to seeing overweight people they no longer know what normal is supposed to look like. Don't take any notice and do what makes you feel happy.
I do have a somewhat larger build with big hips and breasts and that's why they claim I'll be too thin but i think even with my build 140 still isn't too thin. Thank you ❤
What’s your frame size? http://www.myfooddiary.com/Resources/frame_size_calculator.asp
I'm a half inch shorter than you and my goal weight is considerably higher than yours, but I have a large frame and the only time I've had a BMI as low as 24 was after 6 weeks of undereating and overexercising during boot camp.2 -
Oh people have no clue what certain weights look like. Do you. That's a healthy weight for your height. With a decent body fat percentage you will look quite slim. I'm heavier than that at 5'4".1
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Hey, we basically have the same starting/goal weight. Anyway, yeah, I get it all the time especially now that I've reached the point where you can only tell I'm out of shape when I lift up my shirt. Only thing you can do is shrug off the comments and stick to your plan.
It's crazy to me that so many people worry about grown adults losing too much weight when there's obviously a much larger health concern in the west right now.2 -
ent3rsandman wrote: »Hey, we basically have the same starting/goal weight. Anyway, yeah, I get it all the time especially now that I've reached the point where you can only tell I'm out of shape when I lift up my shirt. Only thing you can do is shrug off the comments and stick to your plan.
It's crazy to me that so many people worry about grown adults losing too much weight when there's obviously a much larger health concern in the west right now.
Insight: Many of them aren't worried; they're jealous.6 -
The average American is now overweight or obese. They don't want to hear about trying to be at a healthy weight. I've heard time and again how the BMI range is not for "them". BMI has a generous range - a 40 pound range at my height - 40 pounds! You've picked a sweet spot right in the middle of your BMI range. Go for it and don't let anybody sabotage your attaining a reasonable goal.7
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kshama2001 wrote: »DapperDassie wrote: »140lb seems perfectly reasonable to me for 5'7 that is a normal bmi. I'm the same height as you but are aiming a little higher (155lb ish) that's because personally I feel I would look too thin at 140 but I probably have a different build. Thing is people are so used to seeing overweight people they no longer know what normal is supposed to look like. Don't take any notice and do what makes you feel happy.
I do have a somewhat larger build with big hips and breasts and that's why they claim I'll be too thin but i think even with my build 140 still isn't too thin. Thank you ❤
What’s your frame size? http://www.myfooddiary.com/Resources/frame_size_calculator.asp
I'm a half inch shorter than you and my goal weight is considerably higher than yours, but I have a large frame and the only time I've had a BMI as low as 24 was after 6 weeks of undereating and overexercising during boot camp.
It says my wrist says I have a small body frame while my elbow says I have a medium body frame. So not sure what that means. My wrists are kind of small compared to the rest of my body0 -
ent3rsandman wrote: »Hey, we basically have the same starting/goal weight. Anyway, yeah, I get it all the time especially now that I've reached the point where you can only tell I'm out of shape when I lift up my shirt. Only thing you can do is shrug off the comments and stick to your plan.
It's crazy to me that so many people worry about grown adults losing too much weight when there's obviously a much larger health concern in the west right now.
Insight: Many of them aren't worried; they're jealous.
Oh yeah, I definitely think a good portion of them are, but for many I believe it's just ignorance because of how normalized being overweight/obese has become, especially in a place like the south (where I live). It makes sense for someone who has lived with obesity surrounding them to think that what actually constitutes as a healthy weight is underweight.
My parents are good examples. They have been 100% supportive of me in my endeavors and have successfully lost weight with CICO themselves, but are afraid that my goal of 140 (would would probably put me at 15-17% body fat) is too low.0 -
I hate that!! You know what's right for you better than anyone else. Don't listen to them and you do you! 0
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Nope, but my GP thinks I have an ED. Now I'm at the opposite end of the weight lecture 'script. *sigh*1
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I'm 5'7" and maintaining in a range of 128-133. For me that's a good weight. Some people think it's too skinny but with my build and my propensity for disproportionate belly fat, it works.2
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fitqueenbess wrote: »The average American is now overweight or obese. They don't want to hear about trying to be at a healthy weight. I've heard time and again how the BMI range is not for "them". BMI has a generous range - a 40 pound range at my height - 40 pounds! You've picked a sweet spot right in the middle of your BMI range. Go for it and don't let anybody sabotage your attaining a reasonable goal.
The vast majority of people who claim BMI doesn't apply to them are flat out wrong. I like to ask them if they'd prefer to get a DEXA scan or use the waist-to-height ratio instead and they never do. They just go on ranting about how BMI is BS.
The thing about outliers is that they actually are rare, so when someone makes the claim, I just assume they're full of it unless they prove it.6 -
People are just too used to seeing/being overweight. You do you and if someone asks and you don't feel up to telling them to mind their own business you can always say: until I feel at my best. Or something along those lines, they shouldn't have too much negative to say to that! And if they do, oh well, we all know those people haha 1
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