A letter to 120-days-ago-me....some words of encouragement

elisabeisme

We all have demons to fight....yours are not special or unique...but they are YOURS. Identify them....embrace them....then work DAILY to fight them. They are yours for the rest of your life! Those demons will either be your crutch or your motivation. It is purely your choice! Get to know them...and know them well. Know what makes you powerless against them...and what gives you strength! You will be at war with them until your dying day...get comfortable with going to battle with them...it does get easier and you do get stronger...but they are always nipping at your heels...prepare and plan ahead.

This resonated with me. When I started out, I expected there to come a point where I wouldn't struggle anymore. There are all these stories about how people start to crave steamed vegetables and love exercise.* But what they don't say is that you don't magically stop enjoying the taste of chocolate soufflé or spontaneously discover that vintage french bordeaux tastes gross. You become more skilled at resisting and practicing portion control, but resisting and control remain part of the equation.

* By the way, I have come to appreciate steamed vegetables, but if there were absolutely no repercussions, I'd still go with butter laden pasta. Exercise has become a habit and I've grown to like the feeling of tired muscles. But "like" remains the more accurate word rather than "love". I love sitting on the beach watching the sunset with canapés and a margarita. I like stregnth training.

After 2 years, I'm still working daily on taming my demons into motivation rather than letting them run wild and be a crutch.

Geat post!

barefoot_shuffler

Thanks Elisabeisme! This DAILY battle is soooooo frustrating! I long for the day when it wont feel like a constant struggle! Cant wait for it to feel more automatic. I hope I get there someday Best of luck to you!