"You're getting too strong"

jessicagreen1828
jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
edited November 18 in Motivation and Support
So my husband told me yesterday that I'm getting too strong, with a smile, but part of me is wondering if this is a genuine compliment? Cuz it feels a little passive-aggressive. I've been eating right and exercising for about 4 months now and he runs to keep in shape to meet job requirements, but also goes periods without exercising. Would you take this as a compliment?
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Replies

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    If my husband said that, I would question it, too. He lifts with me, though. No such thing as "too strong" in our house.
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    If my husband said that, I would question it, too. He lifts with me, though. No such thing as "too strong" in our house.

    Exactly.... he maintains it was a 'solid compliment' and would not have changed the way he phrased it. Because if I was his running buddy, he'd tell him the same thing "you're getting too fast". Also.... I am not my husband's male running buddy.

  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    There's no such thing as "too strong." So, he must have been joking.
  • MarvinsAMartian
    MarvinsAMartian Posts: 236 Member
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    I think if he said it with a smile you have nothing to worry about. Accept the compliment and move forwards.
  • kristikitter
    kristikitter Posts: 602 Member
    Heck yeah that's a compliment! Sounds like he might be proud of you :)
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
    Considering the follow up it sounds like he was being playful rather than passive aggressive, my husband called me a teachers pet when I started doing jump lunges (rather than normal ones) straight out of a wall sit during our circuit training sesh, I flipped him the bird and we laughed, I love a bit of sass as long as there's no malicious intent.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,539 Member
    This sounds like a thing that stuck with you because it's something on YOUR mind. Maybe?

    And agree with the others, there is no such thing.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    I am with you seems a little like a backhanded compliment with some jealousy in the mix.
    There is no such thing as being too strong. So I'd tell him to join the lifting fun
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    You are the one who is married to him. You are the one who knows him. Why ask us?
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,698 Member
    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Would you take this as a compliment?

    Absolutely!! :grin:

  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
    MarvinsAMartian wrote: »
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.

    No, I'm not carrying 16 bags of groceries at once (haha! I have new goals now, jk), I'm still 30 pounds shy of my max bench from high school. I'm just starting to see some visible results, and I think he's noticing and possibly feeling bad about himself? He doesn't lift weights, but he maintains it was a compliment. I lifted before I met him, and he never had anything bad to say about it, but I do feel he was almost suggesting I stop lifting. It's just confusing because of how he phrased it. It'd be a better compliment if he'd have said "wow, lifting is paying off" or "I can see you're making progress" that kinda thing.
  • cahubbard6421
    cahubbard6421 Posts: 769 Member
    He gave you a compliment. Accept it and move on.
  • elelja945
    elelja945 Posts: 86 Member
    Just my 2 cents. In modern society one of the few things men are still seen as having the advantage in is strength. From an early age most males are praised for their strength, it may be strongly tied to their self esteem. Don't take it personal. Just like with anyone who compliments you, reply with a compliment for him too. Just my 2 cents.
  • MarvinsAMartian
    MarvinsAMartian Posts: 236 Member
    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    MarvinsAMartian wrote: »
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.

    No, I'm not carrying 16 bags of groceries at once (haha! I have new goals now, jk), I'm still 30 pounds shy of my max bench from high school. I'm just starting to see some visible results, and I think he's noticing and possibly feeling bad about himself? He doesn't lift weights, but he maintains it was a compliment. I lifted before I met him, and he never had anything bad to say about it, but I do feel he was almost suggesting I stop lifting. It's just confusing because of how he phrased it. It'd be a better compliment if he'd have said "wow, lifting is paying off" or "I can see you're making progress" that kinda thing.

    I totally get that. I obviously don't know your husband but again, I was in a similar position with my ex. It definitely has to do with ego. My playful comments about her strength definitely had some, "Hey come on, are you trying to show me up?" undertones to it. It wasn't malicious on my part, but more my projecting my own insecurities about not looking a certain way next to someone who looked like she belonged in a fitness magazine.

    Without knowing your husband its hard to say if that's similar to what I went thru, but don't let that get to you. Kick *kitten* in the gym and do you. If anything, maybe start suggesting he start lifting with you!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    MarvinsAMartian wrote: »
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.

    No, I'm not carrying 16 bags of groceries at once (haha! I have new goals now, jk), I'm still 30 pounds shy of my max bench from high school. I'm just starting to see some visible results, and I think he's noticing and possibly feeling bad about himself? He doesn't lift weights, but he maintains it was a compliment. I lifted before I met him, and he never had anything bad to say about it, but I do feel he was almost suggesting I stop lifting. It's just confusing because of how he phrased it. It'd be a better compliment if he'd have said "wow, lifting is paying off" or "I can see you're making progress" that kinda thing.

    You are overthinking this. It was a compliment. Accept it and move on. Don't sit around thinking of how he could have phrased it better or how maybe he was insulting you because he feels bad about himself. Assume positive intent.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
    Arm wrestle him and see who wins!!
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
    Thanks for all the replies everyone! This is such an awesome community of people sharing encouragement and struggles. Sometimes I do overthink things, admittedly. I just want to be happier with myself and I am choosing to see this as a compliment! I will be reminding myself theres no such thing as "too strong", as many of you have said, so as to not mentally deter my progress. Thanks again
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
    Be all like, "Too strong... for you?" :sunglasses:

    In a totally joking though, just like he was!
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
    tjkita wrote: »
    Arm wrestle him and see who wins!!

    Yes! That's great. He'll most likely win. And I'll get even more motivation to try and beat him the next time lol!
  • PWRLFTR1
    PWRLFTR1 Posts: 324 Member
    Whether he meant it as a compliment or not, I would take it as one.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.

    Haha.
    Or just reward him tonight for complimenting you.. wink wink..
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.

    I cannot see anything in what he said or in your "too fast" comment that is negative.
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