"You're getting too strong"

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  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    MarvinsAMartian wrote: »
    I think we need more context here. How does he know your strength without witnessing/experiencing it first hand?

    I feel like part of the story you're leaving out here is that he came out to help with the groceries one day and you're all like, "I got this," and carried 16 bags and the dog (I'm making assumptions) into the house. A feat like that would make any man feel insecure. That's supposed to be our job. The one thing we take pride in.

    All kidding aside, I've literally had this conversation with my ex when she was getting super jacked doing Olympic lifts and the like. Although I didn't say she was getting too strong, I said "you're stronger than me now". If anything I said it with a hint of jealousy because at the time I was not in the best shape at all.

    No, I'm not carrying 16 bags of groceries at once (haha! I have new goals now, jk), I'm still 30 pounds shy of my max bench from high school. I'm just starting to see some visible results, and I think he's noticing and possibly feeling bad about himself? He doesn't lift weights, but he maintains it was a compliment. I lifted before I met him, and he never had anything bad to say about it, but I do feel he was almost suggesting I stop lifting. It's just confusing because of how he phrased it. It'd be a better compliment if he'd have said "wow, lifting is paying off" or "I can see you're making progress" that kinda thing.

    You are overthinking this. It was a compliment. Accept it and move on. Don't sit around thinking of how he could have phrased it better or how maybe he was insulting you because he feels bad about himself. Assume positive intent.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    Arm wrestle him and see who wins!!
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
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    Thanks for all the replies everyone! This is such an awesome community of people sharing encouragement and struggles. Sometimes I do overthink things, admittedly. I just want to be happier with myself and I am choosing to see this as a compliment! I will be reminding myself theres no such thing as "too strong", as many of you have said, so as to not mentally deter my progress. Thanks again
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
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    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
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    Be all like, "Too strong... for you?" :sunglasses:

    In a totally joking though, just like he was!
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
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    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.
  • jessicagreen1828
    jessicagreen1828 Posts: 133 Member
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    tjkita wrote: »
    Arm wrestle him and see who wins!!

    Yes! That's great. He'll most likely win. And I'll get even more motivation to try and beat him the next time lol!
  • PWRLFTR1
    PWRLFTR1 Posts: 324 Member
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    Whether he meant it as a compliment or not, I would take it as one.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
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    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.

    Haha.
    Or just reward him tonight for complimenting you.. wink wink..
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.

    I cannot see anything in what he said or in your "too fast" comment that is negative.
  • JustaJoe00
    JustaJoe00 Posts: 777 Member
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    Maybe he sees your a acomplishment and realizes he needs to keep up? Just a thought.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    Has he said or done other things that would make you think he might be uncomfortable?

    In all seriousness, if anyone I know said that to me with a smile, I would feel so proud of myself that someone noticed and it would never for a split second occur to me to think there was some hidden meaning there.
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 596 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.

    I cannot see anything in what he said or in your "too fast" comment that is negative.

    I can't either. OP, I'm wondering why you can't accept what your husband tells her at face value. He said it was a compliment, take him at his word.
  • moreclan9
    moreclan9 Posts: 54 Member
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    I'd take it as a compliment.

    It could be worse. I was showing my hubby a new dress that I could finally fit into and he responded "Well, that's different"...LOL We had a long discussion that "different" is not really a compliment. He maintains he meant to say "Well, that is a new (ie different) dress"...I believe him, but then again we've been married for 33 years so it's not his first time saying not quite the right thing!
  • FreyasRebirth
    FreyasRebirth Posts: 514 Member
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    Are you breaking things on accident, like The Hulk? If not, you're good. :D
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,217 Member
    edited May 2017
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    smoothswimgirl wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    Gimme his number. I'll ask him for you and we will all know.

    I did ask him about it, and he defended it as a compliment. He would not even admit that it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive. Next time he goes for a run I'm gonna ask him his run-time and say he's getting "too fast"! Maybe the weird reverse-psychology feel of the statement will get under his skin and he'll see how it feels.

    I don't get it ... why would you feel he should admit it could be taken as anything less than 100% positive???? I read your subject line before even opening the thread and thought, "What a great compliment!!" But then I was really puzzled by your reaction.

    Hopefully, if you do tell him he's getting "too fast", he will just beam at you and thank you for the nice compliment. :)


    If anyone told me I was getting "too strong" or "too fast", I'd be delighted!!! :grin::grin:

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