Dealing with cruel comments about weight

mca90guitar

Sorry you have to deal with him.

My dad and I have a great relationship but we both will light each other up when we do something to piss each other off. If my dad said that to me I would tear him a new one. That being said a few hrs later we would be good again and kayaking on the weekend.

Most of my friends can't talk as even the skinny ones are extremely non active minus two of them.

Idk I would comfront him in private and see what his deal is. Guess the other side is doing it at a family event so he can get scolded by others and see how it feels.

curvygirly911

Honestly just reading these commentaries and making me realize that I'm not the one who is nuts, crazy or sensitive is making me feel ten times better. My family (except me) is so used to behaving this way and thinks they are normal and that I'm a wimp and dramatic so I always thought this was how others were treated at home too. It's a weird situation because I envy others who don't have that kind of drama but at the same time it makes me feel better knowing that you can see that it's a *kitten* situation and that HE's the jerk.

Reading some of the poster's disbelief makes me also feel better because they agree that no parent should ever treat their child this way.

Update: Ever since I wrote this 6 days ago, the situation has repeated about 3 more times (once every other day). What's good is that reading these comments has made me feel stronger knowing there are so many out there in different parts of the world that support me and I honestly didn't feel like I had to retort back to him or "win" the argument. So far, I've just been disappointed and ignored him or left the room and did my own thing.

In our family, we always have this thinking that if you pray that's good but if you were to do something bad that day then your prayer is gone to waste. So next time he says something like this I'm just going to say " I'm sorry dad but now that you've made that comment all your prayer for the day has been erased". I will try to say it as innocently as possible but I know he will feel really stupid because I'm showing how hypocritical he is and also it will make me feel better that I did not resort to swearing.

I am trying my hardest to save up (currently working full time and in school) and move out so I can have some peace of mind.

Thanks again for the postings. I'm going to open up a new post where we can maybe write the comments that we get that piss us off and as a community we can reply and make fun of them- just to let off some steam!

Need2Exerc1se

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

Move out and cut them off. Trust me it's much easier to live life without toxic family.

I agree with this. I come from a very supportive family so I can't relate, but if your father has always been a 'crass jerk' it's unlikely any response from you will do anything other than fuel the fire. Just remove yourself from the situation.

TheJourneyToFabulous

Wow cant believe he would say these things! My dad will sometimes say thought you were on a doet if i have some not so diety but never out right nasty! I feel so bad for you. My family is extremely supportive so dont know how you feel.

You need to try and get out of the situation and continue on your journey away from him

iwtbt170

Just one question....where is mom?

CrazyWelsh

You are a beautiful person who deserves respect from everyone. Never forget you are a better person than him. Go you for continuing going to the gym etc. You show him what you are made of. Hope you move out soon and find a happy home to live in. Never forget you are better than him and amazing for staying motivated. As say in my country big cwtches to you

cease_warren2011

Words can cut deep. Especially when they are negative and coming from those who are suppose to love and protect us. I don't know your father (obviously) but from what you have said about him, it would appear that he has his own issues that he is deflecting and casing your way. Has he always been this way or did it suddenly become a cruel thing he does? My advice... Speak with him honestly. Tell him that his words may seem like a joke (to him) but they make him unpleasent to be around. Inform him that he's going to damage the chance of a relationship the 2 of you could have in the future. Explain to him that what he considers fun, is breaking your heart and showing a side of him that is abusive and evil. (sometimes people are unaware of how much they are affecting us) Let it all out without getting angry or aggressive because once we (adults) become defensive, we tend to stop listening and focus only on proving that we are correct and how others are wrong. Once you've said these words just give him time. If that doesn't change him then you know without a doubt that he just doesn't care that he's hurting you and damaging your respect for him. At this point, your best bet is to use his words as fuel to motivate your determination. Make his negative into a positive! I really hope this helps.

jgnatca

You know what is gonna be really nuts? When you do lose the weight they will credit their behaviour towards you. Not your hard work.

https://www.amazon.ca/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407

shans34

I went through that and much worse at the mouth of my father. Ultimately, he is toxic and I kicked him out of my life.
However, until I realized the problem was him and not me, I kept failing at diets and weight loss as a way to excuse why he hated me. Once I recognized that his being an *kitten* is him and not me, I started succeeding at weight loss. He would be an *kitten* to me with it without the weight. He would just find something else to be a jerk about. It's who he is. So I rid myself of him. Best thing I ever did.