Finding time to Exersice--need to vent!

horndave

Tell him to bite it. Exercise when you need to, marriage is a give and take situation. Not just about the husband. /rant off.

LotusF1ower

Oh, and HE can sleep on the couch after late-night gaming. Your alarm clock won't bother him then, I bet!

BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA perfect!!!! :laugh:

tabbydog

Cooking is one chore my husband won't do also. He does other house chores, and cuts the grass and fixes the cars. AND he gets in a snit occasionally b/c we don't eat until 8:30-9 most nights. I work, have an hour's commute, and (especially in summer) I am not coming directly home and cooking. Even if I'm not working out (I run in the mornings, wicked early, and he never wakes up, so I usually ride my horses after work). When he gets B!tchy about eating late, I tell him he is always welcome to cook. He promptly shuts up. Seriously, even if he didn't, I would just ignore him like a spoiled child having a tantrum. Totally wouldn't dignify him with a response of any kind!

ltlemermaid

My suggestion -- buy him a barbecue. I very rarely cook. so if he wants to eat, he throws something on the grill. No big pots or pans to wash either!

We do own a very nice grill---its my grill though I really mean he doesn't cook!! not even on the grill!! (yea his guy friends give him a hard time about this too!) Don't get me wrong I love to cook/grill but I need to find a balance to be able to workout as well...

When he gets home he usually sits on the couch watches TV/computer time or plays video games. Sometimes (not often) he will work on his pond. He does help me with cleaning the house (at least I got him helping me with that) and laundry...He doesn't want to walk the dogs because he sees it as exersice and doesn't want to do it...and when I can convince him to go on the rare occasion he complains the whole time. (this also explains why the dogs listen to me better than him on walks!)

Thanks for all the support/suggestions--we had the no morning exersice arguement this morning and I thought it was the stupidest thing in the world! I will try talking to him tonight and hopefully we can find a happy medium where I don't sleep on the couch and can workout when I want to/can. I am thinking about also starting to plan/prepping my meals ahead so that I can have them ready quick so he can eat and I can work out etc...

HOSED49

I agree with the fact that your husband is more of a child needing a mommy than anything. I would venture to say that when he talks to his mother he talks down to her also. He cant exercise because that would cut into his xbox/ps3 time, cant cook because it would mean he cant get online with his friends and play, thus putting his friends and those stupid games as more important than you! I am guessing that if you told him you would throw it on him, he would struggle with the decision of wether or not to stop playing the game! If this is in fact true, that the games are more important than anything you do, or just more important than you, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities. He doesnt put you first, which I would think wouldnt make you happy, so start being happy. Go work out when you want, he says anything, tell him its your game/computer time and to get over it. Oh and he will get mad when you talk to him about it, he knows he can and you will probably back down and he gets his way. So let him get mad, you workout whenever you want to , he will get over it or if he doesnt , then buh bye- I am tired of raising you! He doesnt support you, he manipulates and uses you, look at all these responses. Not one of them says, well you should cook his dinner and tip toe around him, how dare you interrupt his game time! You asked for the help, please utilize it and dont give into him.

ltlemermaid

Thanks HOSED49 and everyone else...all of these comments have really helped me to see something I already know needs to change--its great to have all of your support in this.

As for him talking down to his Mom--no he really doesn't she is very strong and opinionated and doesn't let him get away with anything! When he does get whiney I remind him that I am not his mother, she lives in TX, I am his wife! Looks like I am going to have to put my foot down more often around him and not let him be a baby anymore especially when it comes to the time when we both come home from work.

I'm having a talk with him tonight and hoping this can all be straightened out to start out at least...I have a feeling this is going to be a long process!

oats4breakfast

Perhaps what your husband needs, is a full on *kitten* kicking.

ltlemermaid

Perhaps what your husband needs, is a full on *kitten* kicking.

LOL oh believe me I really wanted to give him one this morning!

mworld

he's definitely not being supportive!

bashing him on the internet isn't particularly cool either imo.

ltlemermaid

he's definitely not being supportive!

bashing him on the internet isn't particularly cool either imo.

I don't see it as bashing--just came here to vent and get advice/support...

jbwegner

he's definitely not being supportive!

bashing him on the internet isn't particularly cool either imo.

If you look back at the original post, she never bashed her hubby, just asked for advice concerning the situation. All of us have been bashing him. And sometimes it takes something like this to open someone's eyes.

I get it....sometimes you need to vent!

glfprncs2

Amen! And what does THIS mean? I keep seeing it everywhere, and at first I thought people were forgetting to type the rest of the sentence...

The THIS means that I've agreed to the quote from the above poster that I included in the message. It's pretty much the same as your amen... : )

ron2282

I agree with pretty much all the above posts and I’ll share with you my experience and the change that took place in my marriage when I made the decision to get healthier. There was definitely an adjustment period when I started to work out. I went from sleeping in to getting up three times a week at 5am to go for a jog and instead of starting dinner immediately after getting home from work I put in an exercise DVD first. At first he complained that when the alarm went off so early he couldn’t go back to sleep then he complained that he was hungry when he got home and didn’t want to wait so long for dinner. In his defense, he didn’t really think that I was going to sick with it because I never have in the past. I said countless times that I was going to get healthier and two days later I was back to laying on the sofa with a bowl of ice cream. I explained to him how important it was to me to get healthier and that I really needed his support in this. Thankfully I married a great man and that was all he needed to hear. It also helped when I told him that on days I workout I have more energy for “other activities”.

These are our compromises, maybe this might work for you and your husband. I'll tell him the night before if I’m going to get up early for a jog, if I am he'll sleep with ear plugs so the alarm won’t wake him. When I get back to the house I wake him up for work. On days that I work the early shift I’ll workout to a DVD when I get home. On days I have to work until later I start dinner right away, but after dinner he will either go on a walk with me or he’ll give me some space and time to put in a DVD. (I do NOT want him cooking – the house would burn down). I haven’t had any problems since them; in fact yesterday he told me how proud he was of all the progress I’m making and that I’m sticking with it.

Maybe if you explain to him how important this is to you his attitude might change. Keep up posted and best of luck!!!

ltlemermaid

Thanks for sharing your experience ron2282 it really gave me ideas to bring up to him especially the ear plugs. He always jokes that he will burn the house down if he cooks in the kitchen so he stays out of it. I wouldn't mind if he cooked some of the time he just doesn't want to or doesn't want to learn so I don't push it since he wouldn't enjoy it anyway.

Since I have been eating and cooking healthier he has noticed positive change in his weight too along with mine and is proud of it. He never exercises and doesn't think he needs to. I don't think it helps knowing that I lost a lot of weight in the past with only counting calories and no exercise, but I miss running (and I want to start participating in 5K races) and working out and that is one change in my life that I want to make and keep.

LotusF1ower

he's definitely not being supportive!

bashing him on the internet isn't particularly cool either imo.

Well if he minds, he should get up off his butt and help her out then or at least give her some leeway when she wants some time to herself to do her workouts.

pah I am going to punch the door! :explode:

LotusF1ower

he's definitely not being supportive!

bashing him on the internet isn't particularly cool either imo.

Well if he minds, he should get up off his butt and help her out then or at least give her some leeway when she wants some time to herself to do her workouts.

pah I am going to punch the door! :explode:

ltlemermaid

Thanks for everyone's support and advice.

Update:
I talked to hubby but he's stuborn (so am I) he doesn't want to compromise at all...He wants me to work out and insists that I run at the Y instead of outside if I can't do it at night etc. We didn't have these issues until I started running outside--the Y was never the problem.

Since our useless talk I started making dinners ahead of time on the weekends in the crockpot--so far this week its been very helpful, and reheating them or setting them on the counter and having him reheat his dinner. This seems to work. I usually run around 8pm its still light out and its cooler too than at 7pm- I can eat after my run (just have a small snack before it) or if I'm home earlier eat dinner, wait an hour and then go for my run outside and be back home before it gets dark.

So on my run days this is what I will be doing to make it work. Oh and he hasn't complained about the extra time I spend in the kitched on the weekends--hope that stays the same and I can continue to do this.

thanks again...