Do you have confidence in your body?
zaynesmommy2015
Posts: 20 Member
My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight
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I don't feel you are being fair to your boyfriend or yourself by dismissing his compliments. Afterall, he is choosing to be with you.
As for myself, I definitely didn't before but now that I have gone from 328 to 184, I am steadily gaining confidence as I learn to see myself the way I am vs the way I was.12 -
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Nope, maybe 150 pounds from now I will.0
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Yes.1
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Hitting a number, in my opinion, will not magically imbue you with confidence. I'm 5'10" and 130lbs give or take a hair because maintenance- it will still be a cold day in hell before you see me on the beach in a bikini, etc. There were race photos of me from behind at the marathon I ran last weekend that were mortifying to see.
I may never be entirely confident in how I look, thems be the breaks. I have however cultivated more confidence in my own abilities however through developing as a distance runner and that *usually* means more to me.2 -
I'm pretty confident. I'm 5'9" and weigh 153lb. I find that the less I care about what other people think the better I feel about my body. The only person who's permission you need to have to feel confident is your own.5
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I started my weight loss in the mid 170s, am at 135 now, 5'5. I actually DID have confidence in my body before. I wasn't thin but I was fairly fit because I play an all women'Bs contact sport. I can't tell you what that did for me, personally. The community of other women and the blatant proof of what a body can do at any size changed me as a person.1
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First of all, you are gorgeous.
Now that we've established that, no one is talking about you being fat and ugly when you walk around in public. And if they are - that says something horrible about them, not you. At 160, you are NOT fat, but just remember - is fat really the worst thing someone can be?11 -
Depends on the day. today i liked me. Challenged myself to go out wearing shorts (never once have i went out in shorts, like ever)
Heres hoping i like me tomorow to
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Yes1
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Pretty much never.0
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Do you have confidence in your body?
I had heaps of confidence in my body ... until I was diagnosed with precancer and now I feel like parts of my body are letting the side down.
My confidence is more in the realm of ability and strength than what I look like.1 -
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Do you have confidence in your body?
I had heaps of confidence in my body ... until I was diagnosed with precancer and now I feel like parts of my body are letting the side down.
My confidence is more in the realm of ability and strength than what I look like.
(((
))) sad to hear about the diagnosis. h. 1 -
You're judging yourself too harshly and being unfair to your boyfriend. I'm way heavier than you, but I don't feel like people give me weird looks. I find most people treat me with kindness and respect.
I'm currently at a point where I'm very happy with my body. My summer clothes are now too big for me so I went out shopping yesterday. I'm at this awesome size where I can pick items from both normal and plus size departments giving me unlimited freedom and variety.
In fact I was very tempted to stop dieting and maintain at this weight because of how easy everything is - I now fit into all kinds of chairs so picking restaurants is a breeze, I'm under weight limit for all kinds of rides and equipment, I can run and move easily, and many other things. What's also nice is that maintaining at this weight would give me awesome calories. I know better than staying at this weight, though, because being obese will not play out well for my health. That's one weird conversation to have with yourself as most fat people would rather lose weight.
If I can feel this way at 195 pounds, so can you at 160. You're fixating too much on your perceived negatives and ignoring all the awesome things about yourself and your body. Try to notice these little pleasant details and do your boyfriend a favor, believe him.6 -
Very much so. Now. It has taken years to get to this point however and I work hard to maintain.
What works for me is focusing on fitness goals and improving my endurance and getting stronger instead of the weight on the scale.
As my fitness improved I gained more and more confidence and a byproduct of that was the inches and weight fell off and stays off.5 -
Yes. I do.
But I am confident because I work very hard at it. I know it's not perfect but I know it's much better than if I didn't work for it.4 -
No. But fake it til you make it.
I am in a sport which is also a performing art. In a short-skirted freestyle dress, in the centre of that ice, there is absolutely nowhere to hide. So I pretend that I am confident, even as I'm turning into a quaking nervous mess inside. And the judges buy it, the audience buys it, even the skaters and their parents who know me well buy it. So at some point, I started buying it, too.4 -
zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight
Losing weight won't necessarily make you body confident, you need to work on your mind as well as your body - it's not your weight that is stopping you from doing things it's your head. I am around 230lb and I am still fairly confident about my body, of course there are things I would like to improve but it doesn't stop me dressing the way I want to or from doing things. Your boyfriend likely isn't just saying that to be nice, you're getting irritated with him because of your own insecurities.0 -
Yes I do.1
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zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight
You are nuts, you're gorgeous! And your boyfriend is going to get super tired of that talk real quick- men like confidence!
And yes, I have confidence in my body! Luckily I've always been pretty confident about who I am and what I look like. Right now I am not the happiest with my weight but I work on things daily, I'm feeling good, and I'm getting back to my normal weight.2 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight
Losing weight won't necessarily make you body confident, you need to work on your mind as well as your body - it's not your weight that is stopping you from doing things it's your head. I am around 230lb and I am still fairly confident about my body, of course there are things I would like to improve but it doesn't stop me dressing the way I want to or from doing things. Your boyfriend likely isn't just saying that to be nice, you're getting irritated with him because of your own insecurities.
This!
If you feel this badly about yourself it won't get better no matter how skinny you are. It's funny, I can look back at pictures when I was body building and I am SO LEAN. And I thought I was SO FAT. I can remember how insecure and unhappy I was. I felt like you, didn't believe my boyfriends compliments, wouldn't wear certain clothes etc. I can see now how ridiculous it was, it's just perspective.
I can tell you from seeing your picture that you are very attractive, but that won't matter because you don't see it. Work on liking yourself. Wear the clothes even if you think you're too fat. Get over it. Keep doing your hair and makeup, workout, get some skills and hobbies not related to your looks. Go out and own that *kitten*. Have good sex with the lights on. Believe your boyfriend. It's lame, but it comes from within. I promise losing weight won't magically change this mindset.3 -
Yep. I also had confidence/liked my body when I was 50lbs heavier too.
Op-many people think something magical will happen when they hit their goals weight, and have too high of expectations of what weight loss will actually do. If you're not happy/confident now most likely you won't be happy/confident when you're 125lbs-130lbs. You'll just find something else to not like about yourself and continue the vicious cycle. Work on changing your attitude and outlook now and that will go a long way towards being happier with yourself regardless of what you weigh.2 -
zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight
I'd be willing to bet that you getting down to 125-130 won't give you the confidence you seek. That comes from within, not from a scale or a mirror. Stop judging yourself by your flaws (real or perceived). Judge yourself by your virtues. Work to change flaws into virtues where possible. It's not necessary to be the prettiest or most fit woman in the room to be the most beautiful.
I have days where I feel like a fat pig. I had them when I was 120 lbs, 130 lbs, 170 lbs. But most of the time I feel pretty good about myself. My confidence in my body mostly comes from what it can do. Though most of the time I'm also happy with how it looks.6 -
I have confidence in what my body can do. But not so much about the way I look. I've lost 70# and as a result am very flabby with some droopy "bags" on my arms, stomach, outer thighs and inner knees. Feel great in jeans and a long sleeve tee, but dread having to be in front of people in a bathing suit. I continue to try and lose very slowly and lift weights to firm up.1
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Nope. I don't like my body. I'm too fat still, my *kitten* looks like cottage cheese, I still have hella stretch marks, and an ugly c-section pouch. I'm hoping to feel better at goal but I doubt it since I don't like me much at all.1
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To quote Ronda Rousey, "there isn't a muscle in my body that isn't developed for a purpose". My body has been through injuries & trauma and fights autoimmune disorders daily. It has held up to weight lifting for 15 years, played sports, and runs four times a week. I may not have always been the slimmest or the prettiest person in the room, but I have utmost confidence in what my body (and mind) can do based on training and past experiences.3
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Yeah it's ok. I want to lose a little bit of weight but overall I think I look pretty good. I have a stomach pooch but oh well.0
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To an extent, yes. I am confident that I can push my body to its limits. I am confident that I am strong. I love the muscle definition in my arms, despite some loose skin that is inevitable when you have lost over 200 lbs. I am very self-conscious of my floppy hanging stomach and legs (my quads & thighs really)....but those legs carry me around when I walk a 5K, they help me swim 3 miles a week, and they helped me cross the finish line at the triathlon a couple of weeks ago. I have a lot of loose skin on my thighs and stomach and would not be comfortable having them exposed, BUT I gain confidence by dressing for my body type and pushing myself to my limits. I think that a particular number on a scale is not going to give me confidence but achievements can.0
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brookielaw wrote: »To an extent, yes. I am confident that I can push my body to its limits. I am confident that I am strong. I love the muscle definition in my arms, despite some loose skin that is inevitable when you have lost over 200 lbs. I am very self-conscious of my floppy hanging stomach and legs (my quads & thighs really)....but those legs carry me around when I walk a 5K, they help me swim 3 miles a week, and they helped me cross the finish line at the triathlon a couple of weeks ago. I have a lot of loose skin on my thighs and stomach and would not be comfortable having them exposed, BUT I gain confidence by dressing for my body type and pushing myself to my limits. I think that a particular number on a scale is not going to give me confidence but achievements can.
I LOVE your attitude. Congrats on your Tri.0
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