Do you have confidence in your body?

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  • BurlzGettingFit
    BurlzGettingFit Posts: 115 Member
    edited May 2017
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    zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »
    My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight

    You are nuts, you're gorgeous! And your boyfriend is going to get super tired of that talk real quick- men like confidence!

    And yes, I have confidence in my body! Luckily I've always been pretty confident about who I am and what I look like. Right now I am not the happiest with my weight but I work on things daily, I'm feeling good, and I'm getting back to my normal weight.
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
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    tinkerbellang83 wrote: »
    zaynesmommy2015 wrote: »
    My confidence is so low it's crazy. I am about 160lbs and confident is not in my vocabulary. I always feel so fat. I don't do certain things or wear certain things because of my weight. I can walk around in public and I feel like people look at me and say oh she's ugly and fat. My boyfriend gets irritated when I talk like this and he says my body is beautiful but I know he's just saying that to be nice! Anyone feel the same? How do you gain confidence? I feel like that can only happen if I'm about 125-130 lbs but it's been so hard for me to lose weight

    Losing weight won't necessarily make you body confident, you need to work on your mind as well as your body - it's not your weight that is stopping you from doing things it's your head. I am around 230lb and I am still fairly confident about my body, of course there are things I would like to improve but it doesn't stop me dressing the way I want to or from doing things. Your boyfriend likely isn't just saying that to be nice, you're getting irritated with him because of your own insecurities.

    This!

    If you feel this badly about yourself it won't get better no matter how skinny you are. It's funny, I can look back at pictures when I was body building and I am SO LEAN. And I thought I was SO FAT. I can remember how insecure and unhappy I was. I felt like you, didn't believe my boyfriends compliments, wouldn't wear certain clothes etc. I can see now how ridiculous it was, it's just perspective.

    I can tell you from seeing your picture that you are very attractive, but that won't matter because you don't see it. Work on liking yourself. Wear the clothes even if you think you're too fat. Get over it. Keep doing your hair and makeup, workout, get some skills and hobbies not related to your looks. Go out and own that *kitten*. Have good sex with the lights on. Believe your boyfriend. It's lame, but it comes from within. I promise losing weight won't magically change this mindset.
  • crazyycatladyy1
    crazyycatladyy1 Posts: 156 Member
    edited May 2017
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    Yep. I also had confidence/liked my body when I was 50lbs heavier too.

    Op-many people think something magical will happen when they hit their goals weight, and have too high of expectations of what weight loss will actually do. If you're not happy/confident now most likely you won't be happy/confident when you're 125lbs-130lbs. You'll just find something else to not like about yourself and continue the vicious cycle. Work on changing your attitude and outlook now and that will go a long way towards being happier with yourself regardless of what you weigh.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    I have confidence in what my body can do. But not so much about the way I look. I've lost 70# and as a result am very flabby with some droopy "bags" on my arms, stomach, outer thighs and inner knees. Feel great in jeans and a long sleeve tee, but dread having to be in front of people in a bathing suit. I continue to try and lose very slowly and lift weights to firm up.
  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
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    Nope. I don't like my body. I'm too fat still, my *kitten* looks like cottage cheese, I still have hella stretch marks, and an ugly c-section pouch. I'm hoping to feel better at goal but I doubt it since I don't like me much at all.
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
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    To quote Ronda Rousey, "there isn't a muscle in my body that isn't developed for a purpose". My body has been through injuries & trauma and fights autoimmune disorders daily. It has held up to weight lifting for 15 years, played sports, and runs four times a week. I may not have always been the slimmest or the prettiest person in the room, but I have utmost confidence in what my body (and mind) can do based on training and past experiences.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited May 2017
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    Yeah it's ok. I want to lose a little bit of weight but overall I think I look pretty good. I have a stomach pooch but oh well.
  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
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    To an extent, yes. I am confident that I can push my body to its limits. I am confident that I am strong. I love the muscle definition in my arms, despite some loose skin that is inevitable when you have lost over 200 lbs. I am very self-conscious of my floppy hanging stomach and legs (my quads & thighs really)....but those legs carry me around when I walk a 5K, they help me swim 3 miles a week, and they helped me cross the finish line at the triathlon a couple of weeks ago. I have a lot of loose skin on my thighs and stomach and would not be comfortable having them exposed, BUT I gain confidence by dressing for my body type and pushing myself to my limits. I think that a particular number on a scale is not going to give me confidence but achievements can.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    brookielaw wrote: »
    To an extent, yes. I am confident that I can push my body to its limits. I am confident that I am strong. I love the muscle definition in my arms, despite some loose skin that is inevitable when you have lost over 200 lbs. I am very self-conscious of my floppy hanging stomach and legs (my quads & thighs really)....but those legs carry me around when I walk a 5K, they help me swim 3 miles a week, and they helped me cross the finish line at the triathlon a couple of weeks ago. I have a lot of loose skin on my thighs and stomach and would not be comfortable having them exposed, BUT I gain confidence by dressing for my body type and pushing myself to my limits. I think that a particular number on a scale is not going to give me confidence but achievements can.

    I LOVE your attitude. Congrats on your Tri.
  • abrubru
    abrubru Posts: 137 Member
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    MotherOfSharpei wrote: »
    To quote Ronda Rousey, "there isn't a muscle in my body that isn't developed for a purpose".

    And to finish Rousey's quote..."and none of that purpose is for pleasing a man." Ironically, it is when you stop trying to please the people around you, and you start challenging yourself by doing new and difficult things that you develop confidence, and while most people here on MFP gain their confidence doing new and difficult PHYSICAL things, you can also increase your confidence by overstepping your emotional and mental boundaries. Good luck!
  • gamerbabe14
    gamerbabe14 Posts: 876 Member
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    Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Life is too short to give a *kitten* and people are so self absorbed they don't care what you look like. Listen to the person that loves you the most, your boyfriend.
  • eszabo1
    eszabo1 Posts: 4 Member
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    Yeah, I have a pretty good body. I'm comfortable wearing almost nothing. It's funny because the source of my insecurity has always been my small boobs, while most people focus on losing the fat that they have. There's always something to complain about.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
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    nope never had it. i felt this way even when i was skinny
  • Purplebunnysarah
    Purplebunnysarah Posts: 3,252 Member
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    My self-worth is not defined by my appearance. Sure, I'm aware that I have a ways to go before I'm in a healthy weight range and I know that my physical form isn't conventionally attractive. But I'm so much more than what I look like. I'm smart, good at my job, a leader. I serve my community in a few ways. I set goals and I achieve them, even though I've experienced setbacks along the way. I'm proud of myself for the sum total of what I've achieved, and the presence or absence of a few pounds isn't going to change that.
  • slider728
    slider728 Posts: 1,494 Member
    edited May 2017
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    God no. My biggest fear if I ever got divorced is not losing everything, but rather it would mean that eventually I would have to get naked in front of someone new again. That thought petrifies me.

    When it comes to physical strength, I am fairly weak and in bad shape (was injured in 2015) but I would have the confidence to jump into a Spartan Race or another OCR and get it done.

    As far as if I perceive if I am good looking and/or have a good body? I'd say my confidence is extremely low. I don't see myself as attractive and I sure as heck know I am overweight. The funny thing is that I thought the same thing when I was actually in pretty incredible shape.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    edited May 2017
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    Yes and no.

    Yes, because my body currently looks the best I've ever looked in my life - even better than in my teens/twenties (and I turn 55 this year). I'm perfectly comfortable looking forward to spending this summer on the lake in swim trunks and no shirt. I'll be far from the best looking body on the beach, but I have nothing to be ashamed of either.

    No, because I know I still have plenty of room for improvement. I'll never attain perfection, but I refuse to settle for 'good enough' when I can aim for 'exceptional'.
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,452 Member
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    Yep. I have a ton of confidence in my body. Even when I was obese I had a tendency to think that I was the best. Of course I don't go around telling people I think I'm awesome on the inside and outside, but I do feel that way.
    As others have written, weight alone won't give you that confidence. At 160 lbs, you're likely not so huge that people are thinking poorly of you, and even if they were, it wouldn't matter. You can never please anyone and this is YOUR life so you deserve to feel happy and confident in yourself.
  • tlee278
    tlee278 Posts: 35 Member
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    I don't think weight loss is the magic cure to "having confidence in your body." It requires loving YOURSELF for who you are within....that is where the confidence comes from!!
    Give yourself acceptance and know that whatever appearance that you have on the outside is the byproduct of how much love you have for yourself on the inside!
    I'm on this journey to change my health. As I get older and see the health issues that my parents have, it's about taking care of me and being the best that I can be so I can be there for my loved ones.
    It took me a long time to learn that and I still remind myself of that every day.

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