Dating while overweight??
Replies
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AngelaOStrong wrote: »1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?
I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).AngelaOStrong wrote: »2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
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When I started dating my husband, I was probably a size 12 (not extremely large, but I was a size 12 at 5'3). He was a 6'3 fraternity guy who happened to prefer short, thicker girls.
I'm a size 4 (20 years later). He doesn't mind the smaller size, but certainly wouldn't mind a larger size either. That makes me happy to know.2 -
I say go for it. I mean, this is my wedding photo, and I got a bit heavier the year following our wedding. Coming up on 12 years of marriage in about 6-7 weeks. I was about that size when we started dating too.
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I love all of the caring, kind comments in this thread. People really can be the best sometimes. Sometimes...lol.5
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Oh and PS -- You should totally date regardless of size. If they're going to miss an opportunity to get to know you because of your size then it's their loss! Good luck! xoxo2
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WickedPineapple wrote: »AngelaOStrong wrote: »1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?
I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).AngelaOStrong wrote: »2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
Looks are important, especially in the very beginning. Physical attraction is important. Without that, you might as well be friends.
With that said, there's many people/guys that like the overweight look and there are guys that don't. For some is a deal breaker, for some is not. It does not make them shallow or bad. Everyone has a preference.
With that said, weight/ looks is just one of the components. You shouldn't not do things because of it. Go and have fun. You're only in your 20s once.
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »WickedPineapple wrote: »AngelaOStrong wrote: »1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?
I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).AngelaOStrong wrote: »2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
Looks are important, especially in the very beginning. Physical attraction is important. Without that, you might as well be friends.
With that said, there's many people/guys that like the overweight look and there are guys that don't. For some is a deal breaker, for some is not. It does not make them shallow or bad. Everyone has a preference.
With that said, weight/ looks is just one of the components. You shouldn't not do things because of it. Go and have fun. You're only in your 20s once.
This. You have to own you and everything about you. Love yourself. Don't hide it. The worse thing you can do is try to look skinny by taking selfies that make you look 50lbs (or more) lighter than you are. There is nothing wrong with taking good selfies but if you give off the impression that you are 120lbs and you are really 220lbs, that's deception. You will attract the "wrong" type of guys and things will be awkward. Some guys might even think "she's definitely not my type but I'm horny so I'm going to try and get laid" when they meet you. The last you want to do is end up sleeping with someone who wasn't even into you from the beginning but pretended to be just to get a piece.
It's the same as if you only wanted to date guys who were a certain height and you find out the guy is like 6" shorter than what he said he was.
Overall, deception is a lose-lose for everyone.4 -
ParadigmShifter wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »WickedPineapple wrote: »AngelaOStrong wrote: »1. How was dating while you were overweight/are overweight?
I did 100% of my dating while overweight or obese, so I can't really tell you how it differs from dating at a normal weight. However, I never felt as though my weight impeded my prospects (I don't tend be attracted to or attract people who are really into looks anyway).AngelaOStrong wrote: »2. Does it make you insecure to date while not feeling you look good?
Looks are important, especially in the very beginning. Physical attraction is important. Without that, you might as well be friends.
With that said, there's many people/guys that like the overweight look and there are guys that don't. For some is a deal breaker, for some is not. It does not make them shallow or bad. Everyone has a preference.
With that said, weight/ looks is just one of the components. You shouldn't not do things because of it. Go and have fun. You're only in your 20s once.
This. You have to own you and everything about you. Love yourself. Don't hide it. The worse thing you can do is try to look skinny by taking selfies that make you look 50lbs (or more) lighter than you are. There is nothing wrong with taking good selfies but if you give off the impression that you are 120lbs and you are really 220lbs, that's deception. You will attract the "wrong" type of guys and things will be awkward. Some guys might even think "she's definitely not my type but I'm horny so I'm going to try and get laid" when they meet you. The last you want to do is end up sleeping with someone who wasn't even into you from the beginning but pretended to be just to get a piece.
It's the same as if you only wanted to date guys who were a certain height and you find out the guy is like 6" shorter than what he said he was.
Overall, deception is a lose-lose for everyone.
He's got a good point. In online dating I would imagine pictures are very important. If it was me, I would never mention being overweight on my profile or conversation. I would just post many good pictures that show your body. Tasteful pictures but easy for people to see if you are overweight and let them be the judge of they are attracted to it or not.
Rock your body, small, big, tall, short!!!
It's the only one you got and only the deserving ones get to "enjoy it".
Confidence is way more sexier than anythingelse3 -
Enjoy your date0
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I was 20 lbs heavier when I met my husband. I was doing some online dating at that time too. It was very hard! I knew I had to feel uncomfortable and do it anyway. You are aware of your feelings so great job on Step 1. Step 2 is the practice of telling yourself you're an awesome, worthwhile person no matter what - and walking out the door ready to rock your date!3
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I was 60 lbs heavier when I first dated my wife. Now, after 2 kids she got pretty heavier and I got much more in shape, but we still get along just fine3
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I had lots of date, through online dating while I'm obese (I'm still on the border obese-overweight). I had dates with lots of cute, handsome, smart and even so much muscular or skinny guys. No need to be insecure, being confident is hot4
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Im 23 and don't like to date because of my size, guys tend not to care but i do. Im very insecure
I like these responses though4 -
Anyone who feels the need to comment about your looks during a date (or at any time) is a garbage human being.6
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MarvinsAMartian wrote: »Anyone who feels the need to comment about your looks during a date (or at any time) is a garbage human being.
Well I agree about commenting but having a preference for non-fat people is fine.2 -
MarvinsAMartian wrote: »Anyone who feels the need to comment about your looks during a date (or at any time) is a garbage human being.
Well I agree about commenting but having a preference for non-fat people is fine.
That goes without saying (or should).2 -
I feel incredibly insecure right now so right now it's all about confidence, I know it'll come back with time and I hope when i'm ready I'm able to meet the right one.4
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i don't talk to men, im very obese, so no dating for me2
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I dated and married my husband while "overweight". I gained even more in the first year. It was my decision to lose weight, and I did and do it for myself. He loves me at every weight. You have to love yourself and do what makes you happy. Find someone who will like and love you for YOU, not your weight.3
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Since I've gained weight, men don't seem to see me as dating material. It could also be that I'm old...er.3
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