Weight loss vs. life quality

HM2206
HM2206 Posts: 174 Member
edited November 19 in Health and Weight Loss
So I am now in the category of losing the "vanity pounds" - in particular those extra bits as I am a pear shaped lady.
And as predicted it gets harder. I have a sedentary job (and can add am not a naturally 'active' person either), which means my TDEE is around 1770. I have set my target to 1600 for a very slow loss, but even that is hard.

I find that for the vanity pounds you simply have to work out a lot, which I have. But even though I added a workout yesterday and ate healthy throughout the day, I found myself going over when I was meeting my sister for a glass of wine. And the margins are so, so small at this point.

It's getting harder to the point where I find myself having to avoid social stuff, and am irritated - and this is even though I eat plenty of protein, and veggies. I am not underweight either.

How do some girls stay so fit / thin? I don't get it. My sister eats larger and fewer meals, but I can't go as long without food as she does.

Perhaps my workouts aren't effective enough. I have heard that if you build more muscle, you will burn more through a workout. How big a difference will there be? I do strength training to get more muscles as well.
«1

Replies

  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    I struggle with this a lot. Balancing my physique goals with enjoying life is difficult,and often sways more towards my physique goals. I have to be careful that it doesn't take over, and that I realise sometimes being spontaneous and not needing to lose weight every week is important.

    There is more to me than how I look, and I need to remember that. Health is more than what I eat and how I look, and a number on the scale or a bf%.

    Having muscle will increase your energy needs, but growing muscle takes time, and excess calories....
  • Heather4448
    Heather4448 Posts: 908 Member
    Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!
  • HM2206
    HM2206 Posts: 174 Member
    Heather4448 wrote: »
    Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!

    I often want to move more during the day, but I have an office job so there is a limit to how much I get to move around.

    How many steps a day does one have to make to get into the "lightly active" section?
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,452 Member
    edited June 2017
    HM2206 wrote: »
    Heather4448 wrote: »
    Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!

    I often want to move more during the day, but I have an office job so there is a limit to how much I get to move around.

    How many steps a day does one have to make to get into the "lightly active" section?

    For me, it takes about 10k steps (5'2", 108-114 lbs). Perhaps you can schedule a one hour walk as soon as you wake up and then some time after work?
  • nevadavis1
    nevadavis1 Posts: 331 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.

    That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.

    But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.

  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.

    That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.

    But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.

    There are plenty of obese people who aren't really into food. But they still manage to eat in excess.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    edited June 2017
    I think we all have to find our happy place where we can enjoy the foods we love and exercise consistently.
    I could probably do with losing 7lbs more for vanity's sake but I'm not prepared to put more work in that I already do. I'm happy (enough) eating 1800 cals a day, doing approx 40 mins of exercise a day.
    6 months ago I was able to maintain on 2200 cals a day but I was working out 90 mins minimum a day. Moving more so I could eat more was my main focus. Then I started having joint issues, I knew my body was protesting about the wear and tear I had been putting it through for 4 years. I had to think long term, I altered how much I worked out and found eating a bit less not too bad - I wasn't as hungry. But am I prepared to go back to eating 1600 calories a day? no. So for me this is my happy medium.
  • Running_and_Coffee
    Running_and_Coffee Posts: 811 Member
    I am someone who has always, always had to work at being thin, but also who has never been overweight. I probably look like I've always been pretty much the same to anyone who isn't completely obsessed with how my jeans are fitting me, but the fact is I am either gaining a little or losing a little and constantly course-correcting as I relax after getting below my "happy weight" or cut back after I relaxed a little TOO much. When I "enjoy life" during vacations, holidays, I know that my future will involve eating less, just having a salad with dressing on the side if I do eat out, not drinking wine, adding an extra workout or two to my week. (I already workout 5-6 days a week--even when not being "careful.")

    This probably sounds neurotic but the alternative for me is being unhappy with my weight.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    You've already said it but I think having an active lifestyle is the key. Find ways to be active in general. It doesn't always have to be going to the gym, you can go for a bike ride, or take a hike, or do yard work, take your dog for walks every day, etc.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    It's basically going to come down to what you want more. People who stay fit and lean WORK HARD at it every day. If that's not something you're willing to do, then you may just have to be happy without losing those vanity pounds.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    Pretty much this...I work pretty hard at what I do, and I can pretty much guarantee that while I have a flat stomach and no love handles, I'll never be a six pack havin' guy because I'm not particularly interested in putting forth that level of effort...I have a wife and kids and while I enjoy fitness, I have a life outside of fitness and I enjoy indulgences like sitting around the pool drinking beer with my buddies and my family on the weekend, etc.

    I do know some really lean guys my age who are very fit...6 pack and all that...but fitness is basically their life (as in they basically do it for a living)
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    It's basically going to come down to what you want more. People who stay fit and lean WORK HARD at it every day. If that's not something you're willing to do, then you may just have to be happy without losing those vanity pounds.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    The way you described yourself and your drive(or lack of) sounds similar to my situation. And I agree with above for myself - how bad do I want it?! **I know what needs to be done, I just can't quite get motivated enough to do it and stick with it. ;)

    I am at a point where I just have vanity pounds to lose, I look fit "enough". I've gained a lot of muscle last year and have trimmed down just a bit this year. I've come to a point where I want to enjoy the fattening foods yet would also like to be trimmer. And I have nothing planned where I would be wearing a bikini, so lack of motivation on that end. Yes, my main motivation is the way I look :)

    Good luck and keep going
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    I find that not trying to eat a specific number of calories each day is essential for me. Some days are high calorie and some are low. I just make sure it evens out so that I'm not overeating. I'm hungrier on some days than others to this helps me keep my sanity and stay satisfied. And it's how I ate for the decades that I was thin, so I'm going back to what worked.
  • JohnnyLowCarb
    JohnnyLowCarb Posts: 418 Member
    Sorry to say there is no secret formula, 5 minute exercise or magic diet. The truth is though you have to find the "way of eating" at a caloric deficit that is right for you! I choose a low carb high fat diet. It is right for me (but wont be for others). I have to move (ie. exercise) as much as sometimes I do not want to. Again this is no secret, no magic, easy to say but hard to do.
  • spiriteagle99
    spiriteagle99 Posts: 3,745 Member
    Making exercise a habit, something you do without thinking much about it, helps. I have large dog, so we walk him at least twice a day, every day, rain or shine. I run at least an hour 5 days a week, and when I'm not in the mood, I go do it anyway because I know I feel better, both physically and mentally, when I do. My husband likes hiking, so I go out with him (and the dog) at least once a week to spend time with him doing something we both enjoy doing. If the weather is bad and it's a rest day from running, I do other exercise at the same time I usually run to stay in the habit of being active and to burn the calories so I can eat what I want.
  • annacole94
    annacole94 Posts: 994 Member
    Vanity pounds are optional. I have no desire to get down to the low end of my healthy bmi range. I'm cool hanging out around 24. A slightly higher target weight gives me more calories for wine, and is easier to maintain without further large changes to my lifestyle. You do get to decide if you REALLY want to lose more, and you can also decide to maintain for a while and then kick it up later.

    That said, biking to work and walking at lunch are where the calories come from that take my diet from too little to just enough. Plus health is important.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
    edited June 2017
    Maxematics wrote: »
    In my opinion, it really comes down to your activity level. I don't know your stats and which weights you consider to be vanity pounds, but I'm 5'3" and 113 pounds. I still lose weight slowly on 2000 calories, even though I'm not trying to lose weight anymore. I don't exercise like a maniac or anything. I exercise for 45 minutes to an hour or so five days per week and I get in a minimum of 10,000 steps per day. If I were sedentary, I'd only be able to eat like 1400 calories to maintain my weight. Just getting in movement allows me to maintain on 2100 to 2500 on average.

    If you're not a naturally active person and/or have no desire to bump up your activity level and keep it there, maintaining a smaller weight is going to be a very mentally taxing process for you and I don't recommend it. Otherwise, I'd add some walking into the mix and I'd just be more aware of how much I'm moving.

    This. Im still 180lbs (5'4") and suprisingly if I get in 10000-15000 steps I maintain somewhere around 2500 with no extra exercise, which makes sense against what she said. If I add exercise I can go up to 2700-3000 on some days. Without walking/exercise I am probably between 1600-1800.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
    For me, I'm 5'6" and I've been stalled around 171 for several weeks now. I expect a "whoosh" soon, but May was a tough month with some traveling, mother's day, and my wedding anniversary--there were some maintenance and over-maintenance days snuck in there.

    However, I'm at 171 after starting at 256 which blows my mind. If for some reason I could never lose more weight, I'd be fine with 171. I do still have a lot of fat, especially in my midsection, so getting down to 150 would really, truly be what I think is a 'healthy' weight for my stats. I can tell by the last month, though, that the only way it will happen is if I really increase activity. I'm eating at 1500 now and eat back only a few exercise calories to make sure I hit or slightly go over 1500. Now that it's summer, being active is easier (and I WANT to do things), but I see the active lifestyle as something I really have to do all the time in order to maintain what I've lost and lose the last 20lbs I'd like to get off.

    It's gonna be HARD, but I've already achieved so much more than I thought I could--I might as well stay the course. :)
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    Don't avoid the social stuff! Just eat your normal dinner, go out with friends and don't snack and if someone asks why you're not eating you can just say you're full. Or do what many do, which is get to a calorie deficit when you know you're going to go out, log the glass of wine as "dessert" before you go. You'll then have that glass of wine because you planned for it. My friends don't give me a hard time when I decide not to drink. For me, it's just too depressing to stay home.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Earing & exercise should not cause people stress. But that seems to be very common in both people who are overweight and fearful of what the right path is, as well as those who are lean and trying to get even more so. I'm fairly lean, and could certainly get leaner, but I'm lazy. I'm OK with where I am, and even though I don't think trying to get leaner would cause me stress, it would take more work & attention. Maybe someday I'll want to focus enough to see how far I can get.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited June 2017
    nevadavis1 wrote: »
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.

    That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.

    But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.

    What I wanted to say has already been said while I was away. I have become more picky, but in a good way. It can give the impression that I don't "like" food anymore, or "don't eat". But I don't just grab any food whenever an opportunity arises; I make a decision if this is something I want. I have more trust in the fact that I can eat almost anything anytime. I was just going to use the words "selective" and "meh". I pick my favorites. For meals, I have so many favorites now, that I have to spend some effort on planning to be able to go through them all. Regarding sweets and snacks, it's really "meh" for the most part.

    I came to realize one thing the other day - even at my most "out of control" eating, I restricted myself. My realtionship with food was ambivalent. I believed I liked to eat a lot, but I hated the stuffed feeling. I wanted taste, but I was afraid of anything tasty (it must be unhealthy). I both loved and hated food.

    Briefly observing a small child in the grocery store last week, scanning the candy shelf, obviously allowed by parent to pick a treat. He was deeply concentrated and calm, and seemed to really take the decison seriously. I couldn't help compare with myself in that same situation; I would have just grabbed something and chomped it down before my mother changed her mind.

    Oh, and I forgot NEAT. Moving more on the daily. It can translate as not being so lazy, but I don't think of myself as less lazy now, I'm just more eager to move. I know it has an impact, over time, and at the same time, I don't fret over it.
  • SusanMFindlay
    SusanMFindlay Posts: 1,804 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    What I wanted to say has already been said while I was away. I have become more picky, but in a good way. It can give the impression that I don't "like" food anymore, or "don't eat". But I don't just grab any food whenever an opportunity arises; I make a decision if this is something I want. I have more trust in the fact that I can eat almost anything anytime. I was just going to use the words "selective" and "meh". I pick my favorites. For meals, I have so many favorites now, that I have to spend some effort on planning to be able to go through them all. Regarding sweets and snacks, it's really "meh" for the most part.

    And this is good. Nobody's saying that everyone who is thin doesn't like food. But there do exist people who honest-to-goodness don't like food, would go for days without eating if they didn't remind themselves, etc. Those people are what I call "naturally thin". Because they hardly eat and it doesn't bother them. Would I trade places with them? Not in a million years! To find eating actively unpleasant would suck. (Not making this up. I really knew a woman like this in the last city I lived in.)
This discussion has been closed.

Categories