Weight loss vs. life quality
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So I am now in the category of losing the "vanity pounds" - in particular those extra bits as I am a pear shaped lady.
And as predicted it gets harder. I have a sedentary job (and can add am not a naturally 'active' person either), which means my TDEE is around 1770. I have set my target to 1600 for a very slow loss, but even that is hard.
I find that for the vanity pounds you simply have to work out a lot, which I have. But even though I added a workout yesterday and ate healthy throughout the day, I found myself going over when I was meeting my sister for a glass of wine. And the margins are so, so small at this point.
It's getting harder to the point where I find myself having to avoid social stuff, and am irritated - and this is even though I eat plenty of protein, and veggies. I am not underweight either.
How do some girls stay so fit / thin? I don't get it. My sister eats larger and fewer meals, but I can't go as long without food as she does.
Perhaps my workouts aren't effective enough. I have heard that if you build more muscle, you will burn more through a workout. How big a difference will there be? I do strength training to get more muscles as well.
This is gender neutral. Somehow I wonder how the heck some guys can stay so fit.
My conclusion is that we are all unique individuals. CICO is obviously law of the land, but some of us... are just hungry. We all have different set points, different hormones, different types of work that burn different types of calories. A lot of the fittest guys I know all work very physically demanding jobs, I work at a desk. It's no excuse. It just means my TDEE is a little lower. I'm hungry all the time, but I've been in a calorie deficit for over a year, it's not an excuse, I just have to practice more will power. Maybe my appetite will improve, maybe it won't. Maybe maintenance will be easy, or maybe it will be hard, but no matter how it turns out, that is the cards dealt before me.
So basically, even if "naturally thin" people have it "easier", it's irrelevant. You do you. If you find you have to work a little harder at it, then that's just how it is.
In terms of life quality, I'm right there with you. It feels like the majority of my free time is spent exercising, fighting my hunger back, and not really seeing the improvements in my life I hoped would come with weight loss. Still gotta fight on anyway. I got nothing better to do. Choose your battles and see them out till the end.7 -
Maxematics wrote: »In my opinion, it really comes down to your activity level. I don't know your stats and which weights you consider to be vanity pounds, but I'm 5'3" and 113 pounds. I still lose weight slowly on 2000 calories, even though I'm not trying to lose weight anymore. I don't exercise like a maniac or anything. I exercise for 45 minutes to an hour or so five days per week and I get in a minimum of 10,000 steps per day. If I were sedentary, I'd only be able to eat like 1400 calories to maintain my weight. Just getting in movement allows me to maintain on 2100 to 2500 on average.
If you're not a naturally active person and/or have no desire to bump up your activity level and keep it there, maintaining a smaller weight is going to be a very mentally taxing process for you and I don't recommend it. Otherwise, I'd add some walking into the mix and I'd just be more aware of how much I'm moving.
This. Im still 180lbs (5'4") and suprisingly if I get in 10000-15000 steps I maintain somewhere around 2500 with no extra exercise, which makes sense against what she said. If I add exercise I can go up to 2700-3000 on some days. Without walking/exercise I am probably between 1600-1800.3 -
For me, I'm 5'6" and I've been stalled around 171 for several weeks now. I expect a "whoosh" soon, but May was a tough month with some traveling, mother's day, and my wedding anniversary--there were some maintenance and over-maintenance days snuck in there.
However, I'm at 171 after starting at 256 which blows my mind. If for some reason I could never lose more weight, I'd be fine with 171. I do still have a lot of fat, especially in my midsection, so getting down to 150 would really, truly be what I think is a 'healthy' weight for my stats. I can tell by the last month, though, that the only way it will happen is if I really increase activity. I'm eating at 1500 now and eat back only a few exercise calories to make sure I hit or slightly go over 1500. Now that it's summer, being active is easier (and I WANT to do things), but I see the active lifestyle as something I really have to do all the time in order to maintain what I've lost and lose the last 20lbs I'd like to get off.
It's gonna be HARD, but I've already achieved so much more than I thought I could--I might as well stay the course.
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trigden1991 wrote: »nevadavis1 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.
That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.
But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.
There are plenty of obese people who aren't really into food. But they still manage to eat in excess.
When I was 500 lbs I used to say that I do not like food either. Kinda oxymoronic. I believed that well into my weight loss journey, but what I have come to realize is that I actually do like and enjoy food. The difference is now I do not eat everything in sight so I take my time and really enjoy what I am eating. I do not know from numbers and what not. I am trying to teach myself how to do all that. I was given a number of calories to eat and I have pretty much stuck with that for 2 years.
My exercise has increased greatly, as well as my daily activity. I also have a desk job but I get my butt up and go for a short walk every hour.6 -
Don't avoid the social stuff! Just eat your normal dinner, go out with friends and don't snack and if someone asks why you're not eating you can just say you're full. Or do what many do, which is get to a calorie deficit when you know you're going to go out, log the glass of wine as "dessert" before you go. You'll then have that glass of wine because you planned for it. My friends don't give me a hard time when I decide not to drink. For me, it's just too depressing to stay home.2
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Earing & exercise should not cause people stress. But that seems to be very common in both people who are overweight and fearful of what the right path is, as well as those who are lean and trying to get even more so. I'm fairly lean, and could certainly get leaner, but I'm lazy. I'm OK with where I am, and even though I don't think trying to get leaner would cause me stress, it would take more work & attention. Maybe someday I'll want to focus enough to see how far I can get.0
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What worked for me in the past and now....keeping active, making fitness a priority, not letting indulgent days turn into indulgent weeks or months, planning ahead. I am the type of person that parks so far away from the store and takes the stairs (unless I have my kids with me of course). I plan my workout schedule the same way I would if I had appointments or having to go grocery shopping (which is a must!)... unless there is some major circumstance that prevents me from doing it, I find a way to do it. I also don't beat myself up or feel guilty for set backs.. it happens.. and I get right back on it. I like to be leaner in the summer but I don't maintain it year round (which would be really tough)... so that helps too.
Being social and enjoying myself on weekends is important to me... planning is key. Also I am selective about what I indulge in. A "meh" cake at a party? I will leave it. My favourite dessert? I will have a serving. Eating less during the day, banking calories, a little extra cardio if I need it go a long way so I can enjoy my weekends. Also having a plan for the weekdays (meals prepped, dinners planned etc).
In my case, having extra muscle does help.. not so much with the extra calories it itself burns, but my actual goal weight is higher which means more calories to move and maintain my body.7 -
nevadavis1 wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Do thin people like food less? I don't think so.
That's probably mostly true, but I do know a few people who just aren't really into food. I have a friend who says he "always forgets to eat" and has to carry protein bars with him, then force himself to eat them, so he won't lose too much weight. When he does eat he tends to be picky too, so maybe that has something to do with it. Even his favorites though, he doesn't seem driven to go eat them.
But yeah, most people love food, except for a few outliers.
What I wanted to say has already been said while I was away. I have become more picky, but in a good way. It can give the impression that I don't "like" food anymore, or "don't eat". But I don't just grab any food whenever an opportunity arises; I make a decision if this is something I want. I have more trust in the fact that I can eat almost anything anytime. I was just going to use the words "selective" and "meh". I pick my favorites. For meals, I have so many favorites now, that I have to spend some effort on planning to be able to go through them all. Regarding sweets and snacks, it's really "meh" for the most part.
I came to realize one thing the other day - even at my most "out of control" eating, I restricted myself. My realtionship with food was ambivalent. I believed I liked to eat a lot, but I hated the stuffed feeling. I wanted taste, but I was afraid of anything tasty (it must be unhealthy). I both loved and hated food.
Briefly observing a small child in the grocery store last week, scanning the candy shelf, obviously allowed by parent to pick a treat. He was deeply concentrated and calm, and seemed to really take the decison seriously. I couldn't help compare with myself in that same situation; I would have just grabbed something and chomped it down before my mother changed her mind.
Oh, and I forgot NEAT. Moving more on the daily. It can translate as not being so lazy, but I don't think of myself as less lazy now, I'm just more eager to move. I know it has an impact, over time, and at the same time, I don't fret over it.2 -
kommodevaran wrote: »What I wanted to say has already been said while I was away. I have become more picky, but in a good way. It can give the impression that I don't "like" food anymore, or "don't eat". But I don't just grab any food whenever an opportunity arises; I make a decision if this is something I want. I have more trust in the fact that I can eat almost anything anytime. I was just going to use the words "selective" and "meh". I pick my favorites. For meals, I have so many favorites now, that I have to spend some effort on planning to be able to go through them all. Regarding sweets and snacks, it's really "meh" for the most part.
And this is good. Nobody's saying that everyone who is thin doesn't like food. But there do exist people who honest-to-goodness don't like food, would go for days without eating if they didn't remind themselves, etc. Those people are what I call "naturally thin". Because they hardly eat and it doesn't bother them. Would I trade places with them? Not in a million years! To find eating actively unpleasant would suck. (Not making this up. I really knew a woman like this in the last city I lived in.)1 -
Eh. My opinion? Losing those last few vanity pounds may just not be attainable for you at your current activity level. Even if you could manage to lose them it doesn't sound like it would be sustainable for you as of right now.
So you can either change things or be happy with where you are. Something you have to figure out for yourself.
I agree with everyone else though - the key is increasing your activity level. I have a desk job as well (where I literally have to be at my desk to do my job so it's not like I'm up all the time) and I've found it's still easy to get 10k steps a day and hit the gym if I put the effort into it. There's always the weekend as well, which people always conveniently seem to forget about or leave out, but I've been making a game of seeing how active I can be on Saturdays and Sundays.7 -
Can you find a type of movement that you love? Something social and fun? I pole dance and am surrounded by an amazing community at my studio, I've made so many great friends there. When exercise and your social life overlap, it is so much easier!2
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I still haven't lost the vanity pounds in 3 years (and gained a few more in the process). Because it's not worth depriving myself when I hang out with my friends - and healthier choices are not always available. I love food too much to deprive myself so I look thinner. I'm a healthy weight with a few extra rolls and I'll have to deal with that (my stomach looks so awful with the loose skin anyway, it's not like I'll ever achieve the look that I want).
Heck the only reason I've only gained 5 lbs back in that time is because I am very active. Most of the 'naturally thin' people I know (who have never had weight issues) are pretty active overall or really know how to stop eating after a few bites.2 -
I guess I'm technically at the vanity pounds stage, what works for me is having a weekly deficit (of around 2000 cals) instead of a daily one, which means some days I go over maintenance and some days when I'm working out hard I might be 800 cals below maintenance. During the week when I'm at work I find it alot easier to prelog and be at a decent deficit, Friday after work to Sunday I'm usually hovering at maintenance or over because of social gatherings and a less predictable schedule/easy access to the fridge.
Could you try setting a weekly deficit or possibly banking some of your exercise calories for days you might be going over your cals?
The only other thing I can suggest is just exercise more if you want to eat more. I'm the same, I enjoy my food and would find even a small deficit difficult without exercise cals too, so I try to walk a little more to get myself some extra cals. x0 -
OMG, I just realized I only have vanity pounds to shed now, and I have no vanity
Happy
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I have an office job but still get my 10k steps per day:
I commute using public transport where possible. (Public transport encourages more walking)
I take a long brisk walk at lunch.
I keep going for short walks around the office whenever possible.
I use the stairs instead of the lift where possible.
I use a bluetooth headset and will walk during audio conferences with a print out of the presentation in front of me.1 -
Heather4448 wrote: »Get an activity tracker that will remind you to get up and move every hour. Increase your NEAT - more room for wine. Win- win!
I often want to move more during the day, but I have an office job so there is a limit to how much I get to move around.
How many steps a day does one have to make to get into the "lightly active" section?
I too have an office job, I make sure I get up every hour on the hour and go to the bathroom, I walk in place and get in about 250-350 steps in less than a minute then go back to my desk, I then take a walk on my 30 minute lunch break and walk just under 2 miles for another 4k steps. (rain, sleet or snow I am out there walking) I usually leave work with close to 8k steps and depending on if it is a zumba or treadmill night I usually end up with over 15k steps each day. I did not change my stats to "lightly active" it is still at sedentary as I spend the majority of the day sitting at my desk. I make sure that I get in plenty of protein and healthy fats during the day to keep me full and I certainly do not skimp on the adult beverages. We go camping every weekend and its is a drink fest so its a balance. I make sure that I get in my exercise/workout/walk so that I can fit in "life" as needed. If I know I am going somewhere on the weekend I plan my day around it. We are going out to dinner tomorrow night for a bday party and I already logged my meal so I can plan the rest of the day around it... If it is an impromptu gathering I just make sure that the next couple days I am tighter on my calories to make up for indulging... It doesn't have to be weight loss vs life quality, you can certainly have both with a little planning! Good luck and keep on pushing!!3 -
I have an office job but still get my 10k steps per day:
I commute using public transport where possible. (Public transport encourages more walking)
I take a long brisk walk at lunch.
I keep going for short walks around the office whenever possible.
I use the stairs instead of the lift where possible.
I use a bluetooth headset and will walk during audio conferences with a print out of the presentation in front of me.
I do all these things too - I might have to get a counter to keep track.
To my surprise I found out this morning that I have lost 1lb in the past week, which is more than I have set out to.
Need to count for fluctuations though, but at least 1600 a day seems to work.0 -
@KelGen02 - How long does your 2-mile walk leave you to actually eat your lunch?0
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We do have variety in humans for levels of salutation hormones, for tastes for food, for pleasure in eating, for enjoyment in moving. There's even variation in our metabolic rates, and compounded over time 100-200 calories a day can be significant.
Is entirely possible of you are chasing a weight you acknowledge to be simply vanity, that is, your weight is not impacting your physical health in any way, and any progress toward that weight requires obsession, isolation and great sacrifice, that you have an unrealistic expectation in your mind of what you should look like, or what you do look like.
Assess that, and then adjust your timeline for weight loss to 0.5 or even 0.25 lb/week and see how that goes over the next 3 months.
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