I'm a piece of crap
ninka_polish
Posts: 48 Member
Hi Everyone, I thought I'd try this because frankly I'm a failure at weight loss. I stopped visiting my family because I don't want them to see me fat and say "Jesus what have you done to yourself!" And limited my socialising to closest friends. I could be pretty but I sabotaged myself into fat cage I'm in. I'd love to find a friend I could virtually work out with. I'm fit for a fattie. If there's anyone there:( literally anyone..say hi here or on line app ID: ninkamd
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Replies
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I'd be happy to help you in any way possible
I've been in your shoes10 -
That attitude is not going to be conducive to success. You are not a piece of crap.39
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The great news is you can turn things around as early as today.16
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I'm here! And also a failure at weight loss. If you're heavy then you've most likely already heard most of this before but there's value in learning to see your beauty no matter what the number is on the scale. You could be pretty? You already are!
That said, I wish you all the best of luck with your weight loss! I'm struggling with it as well. I don't socialize that much but I'm active in church so I do spend time with people other than my family. My biggest issue is that I would like to get healthier for my family. I have 3 children that need a better example of how to be healthy.
I hope you find the support you're looking for!6 -
Look at what makes you fail.
Do you try to just eat salad and foods some people deem healthy and believe you fail when you eat chocolate? Do you cut your calories very low? Do you think if you over eat one day that is the end of your "Diet"?
What makes you stop trying to lose weight? Looking at that will help you succeed.7 -
Wow I didn't expect replies to my post. I hoped for them but I sent emails to so many websites and no one replied. I went to paltalk to find random people to ask if anyone would like to virtually work out but no one wanted. I'd like to be sexy again. I I lay felt it once in 2012. I lost all weight I had a gym buddy she was very pretty and motivated me.
now I have no one and I lost my Figur because I went crazy thinking it would stay like that and it changed:( I'm sorry guys:( 1 -
Okay. First of all, most of us HAVE failed at weight-loss at one time or another in the past. Statistically speaking, a large segment of the population does. I'm currently on my 5th or 6th time trying to shed weight since I was in my teens (I'm 45), not counting all the short-lived, plan-free, "I'm just eating less... until the first party, big meal, etc where I go off the rails and never go back on." attempts. And this time, I'm not planning on following the majority. So, don't take it to heart. Just resolve to do better this time and hope for the best. (Sadly, I got my wake-up call in the form of a medical issue. I'm more motivated now than I've ever been.)
With that out of the way, what kind(s) of exercise were you thinking of?
I generally get cardio by long walks and/or an hour on a fitness glider.
Bought a book on strength training and now use resistance tubes and bands as well as dumbbells.
How about you?8 -
Loving yourself is the first step @ninka_polish and negative self talk is NOT loving. Trust me I know. You don't become a failure at anything until you stop working toward your goal. You're here so you can let go of that bit of negativity. Just this past weekend I went to visit my parents and my not so slender father had the audacity to call me chubby, as if I didn't already know I've put on some extra pounds. I hugged him, told him I loved him, and that I was working on it. Because I am working on it. And so are you. The only opinion that truly matters is yours, so shake it off and let's get busy. I'm here if you want to talk.10
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the first step to solving a problem is identifying it...so you have done that
from what I have observed on MFP, many people who fail or come back time and time again, make too many changes too quickly and they aren't sustainable. Rather, try to pick one thing you want to change (maybe its drinking more water, or walking more steps) and focus on that for a couple of weeks, when it becomes a habit, pick another one
Pick a smaller weight loss goal (rather than 50lbs, pick 5lbs) and focus on doing that well - then when you are successful - pick another one - it will slow down your progress (I'd probably aim for 1lb a week) - but it will be more sustainable in the long run8 -
How can I reply to you guys all I dividially? You are such nice people!!! I don't know where to start how can I add you all??:)0
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Gotta set yourself up for success, my friend! Lots of us here can share tips on how to do that.4
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ninka_polish wrote: »Hi Everyone, I thought I'd try this because frankly I'm a failure at weight loss. I stopped visiting my family because I don't want them to see me fat and say "Jesus what have you done to yourself!" And limited my socialising to closest friends. I could be pretty but I sabotaged myself into fat cage I'm in. I'd love to find a friend I could virtually work out with. I'm fit for a fattie. If there's anyone there:( literally anyone..say hi here or on line app ID: ninkamd
Hi @ninka_polish. I Googled your MFP handle because sometimes people come in here to bait people with fake stories but I think I found your blog. It seems you base your identity on being fat. Maybe I'm wrong but doing that might just be reinforcing your bad habits because you've made it part of who you are. I'm no expert at this as I struggle with weight fluctuation and sometimes call myself "fat". But we have to remember that fat is not who we are.13 -
You're NOT a piece of crap and you're NOT just your body. You need to let go of the negativity and look at the things that are great and that you like about yourself. Make a list. No, I'm serious. Writing things down so you can actually see them helps. It's the same as logging your calories here. A chocolate bar is gone and easily forgotten if you only eat it but if you log it and see the calories weighing into your cal limit, that can't be ignored. Do the same with other things you need to be reminded of.
I'd love to be workout buddies but I think we're in different time zones and I'm only going back to the gym starting from next week. But if it's enough for you to have someone to check in with, feel free to add.
PS: You can reach people individually by clicking on their username here in the forum. It'll take you to their profile and you can add / message them from there.1 -
Please don't attach your value as a human being to your weight. Being out of shape is what happens when you don't exercise, it is not a result of being a bad person. While it takes willpower to accomplish and prioritize anything (learning a language, volunteering to raise money for charity, reducing clutter, visiting all the state capitals, and yes, becoming fit, or losing weight) you wouldn't have such self-contempt if you failed to meet any other goal. Focus on what you are doing to make your life better, on what you'd like to do. Think about how to make yourself feel powerful. Stop viewing your weight as the visible proof of your failure to be a good person. And stop avoiding those who can support you (although feel free to avoid those who will rip you down), and don't be afraid to ask them for their support. Start battling your own negative thoughts (because supporting yourself is the first thing you should do - nobody gets to rip you down, including you). You were awesome before you gained weight, you are awesome now, and you will continue to be awesome, regardless of your size.
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Feel free to add me, everyone on my friends list is so positive and encouraging, it makes everything so much better. I'd be happy to be your friend on here!0
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Thank you!0
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ninka_polish wrote: »Wow I didn't expect replies to my post. I hoped for them but I sent emails to so many websites and no one replied. I went to paltalk to find random people to ask if anyone would like to virtually work out but no one wanted. I'd like to be sexy again. I I lay felt it once in 2012. I lost all weight I had a gym buddy she was very pretty and motivated me. now I have no one and I lost my Figur because I went crazy thinking it would stay like that and it changed:( I'm sorry guys:(
Just FYI being 'pretty' and 'sexy' isn't a weight thing, it's a confidence thing.12 -
Weight defines and controls me. It hinders my life and puts me in a standstill. I'm scared to move on. Scared of every change at this point0
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ninka_polish wrote: »Weight defines and controls me. It hinders my life and puts me in a standstill. I'm scared to move on. Scared of every change at this point
What, precisely, are you afraid of?0 -
What people think of me0
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ninka_polish wrote: »Weight defines and controls me. It hinders my life and puts me in a standstill. I'm scared to move on. Scared of every change at this point
Weight loss isn't a big, scary decision...it's making several, small decisions, day in day out and being consistent with those good choices. You don't have to turn your life upside down, it needn't be a big thing. One small good decision at a time...start now...you CAN do it.6 -
Head up stand tall and repeat after me
my weight doesn't define me
I am beautiful
I am sexy
I am important
I matter
*******
I have sent you a friends request, and I'm happy to be a friend on here where we can support each other in our fitness goals
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ninka_polish wrote: »What people think of me
You are not in control of what people think of you. And frankly, it's none of your business.
What is way more concerning to me in your case is what you think of yourself. You honestly need to work on that above and beyond all else. 2 -
I have eaten a whole bag on cheese in one sitting. We've all been there, that's why we're all here now. Don't get down on yourself too much. There a lot of people here in the same boat as you. Be a piece of crap today, but tomorrow just be a superstar and then keep doing that. Good luck. Add me.7
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You are a beautiful person. Don't let anyone tell you any different. 2
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I'm going to try again. With this app. If anyone there needs a virtual fitness pal or live in Ireland to meet up and walk together. Message me. I'm usually a very positive person. I think my action today just screamed for help and please God some changes will be made.6
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Add me! 1
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Break your goals down into smaller benchmarks. Just focus on what you are doing *today.* If you have a day (and you will!) where you screw up, log what you ate honestly and completely, learn from it and move on. 3
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ninka_polish wrote: »Weight defines and controls me. It hinders my life and puts me in a standstill. I'm scared to move on. Scared of every change at this point
nope... weight doesn't define you... you let yourself think that... but it isn't true.3
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