I feel like I'm overreacting but opinions are welcome

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  • angelxsss
    angelxsss Posts: 2,402 Member
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    The silver lining is at least he came clean with you and didn't just keep using you for sex. Not saying the outcome was great as it is, but just pointing out the advantage.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,035 Member
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    Just say no to the next booty call unless you are into it just for sex (as if sounds like he may be).
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    For a young guy, I think his response (especially saying he's sorry you're going through that) sounded pretty sweet. Time will tell. I'd leave the ball in his court about Wednesday. If you hear from him, hope it's fun and you both wanna hang out more. If you don't hear from him, I'd write it off and move on...and I DO NOT think you need to worry, overanalyze, or beat yourself up about any of it. At all. Including the text you sent, which is btw something I'd totally do and totally second-guess. You're fine. Absolutely!!
  • erica_today
    erica_today Posts: 185 Member
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    You're over thinking it. Don't send anything more about it talk normally and enjoy Wednesday.

    I over think to a fault. I over analyze and will blow up someone phone explaining myself trying to fix it then inevitably wrecking it until there's nothing left to be fixed.

    So you're good. Get it girl.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    Kamikaze_into_your_soul wrote: »
    This is why at age 42, I go for the millennials. Older chicks have that stupid thing called morals.

    It isn't morals, we just recognize crap when we hear it. :smile:
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
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    What kind of washing machine would you recommend?
  • WendyLeigh1119
    WendyLeigh1119 Posts: 495 Member
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    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    MayaSPapaya wrote: »
    Just as an update, I and some of you were right. He told me “he wasn’t sure if he was still interested…he didn’t feel any type of connection last time we hung out” and I seemed “bored and disinterested”. I once again explained I wasn’t bored or disinterested, that I didn’t feel well and that was it and I did have an interest. I said if he wants to try one more time I would, or if he doesn’t I would respect it, but just let me know and he replied with “ok then it’s a no”

    sigh.

    He didn't feel any connection but had sex with you? Nice. What a dbag. All you can do at this point is take it as a lesson learned and try not to repeat the same mistake.

    Lots of people have sex for fun, it's normal and healthy.

    The only way this is a problem for OP is if she's having sex *with guys* to get them to like her/want a LTR. If she's having sex to enjoy herself/because she sincerely wanted to... no one lost out here.

    But never have sex in order to get a guy to like you better or try to secure a LTR. It doesn't work that way. If you plan to have sex, do it because you want to with no other expectations. Theres nothing wrong with that. But if you find yourself having sex and hoping it will help lead to a relationship... then you should probably take a step back and accept that your priority is a relationship, so only date guys that have that same priority and don't have sex until you're sure he's sticking around.

    A fun night of sex shouldn't feel emotionally hurtful. If it does... it could be that you're doing it to be more attractive to the guy. And that's not good. Always assess why you're saying "yes" and if your answer is "he's hot and I want to have sex"... you're fine. If it's "I like him and want him to like me/want to keep him"... then you're doing it wrong.

    And definitely don't be so worried about his feelings every moment and expressing/asking that so much next time. The texting, calling, etc was unnecessary and probably seemed desperate (no offense). If he's worth your time, an occasional text or call should suffice. And if he doesn't respond or tries to play games... move on and date someone better.
  • _BrewingAZ_
    _BrewingAZ_ Posts: 252 Member
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    Wait, you seemed "bored or disinterested"...but you had sex with him? What does he consider excited and very interested??
  • WendyLeigh1119
    WendyLeigh1119 Posts: 495 Member
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    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    WendyLeigh1119 wrote: »
    jtegirl1 wrote: »
    MayaSPapaya wrote: »
    Just as an update, I and some of you were right. He told me “he wasn’t sure if he was still interested…he didn’t feel any type of connection last time we hung out” and I seemed “bored and disinterested”. I once again explained I wasn’t bored or disinterested, that I didn’t feel well and that was it and I did have an interest. I said if he wants to try one more time I would, or if he doesn’t I would respect it, but just let me know and he replied with “ok then it’s a no”

    sigh.

    He didn't feel any connection but had sex with you? Nice. What a dbag. All you can do at this point is take it as a lesson learned and try not to repeat the same mistake.

    Lots of people have sex for fun, it's normal and healthy.

    The only way this is a problem for OP is if she's having sex *with guys* to get them to like her/want a LTR. If she's having sex to enjoy herself/because she sincerely wanted to... no one lost out here.

    But never have sex in order to get a guy to like you better or try to secure a LTR. It doesn't work that way. If you plan to have sex, do it because you want to with no other expectations. Theres nothing wrong with that. But if you find yourself having sex and hoping it will help lead to a relationship... then you should probably take a step back and accept that your priority is a relationship, so only date guys that have that same priority and don't have sex until you're sure he's sticking around.

    A fun night of sex shouldn't feel emotionally hurtful. If it does... it could be that you're doing it to be more attractive to the guy. And that's not good. Always assess why you're saying "yes" and if your answer is "he's hot and I want to have sex"... you're fine. If it's "I like him and want him to like me/want to keep him"... then you're doing it wrong.

    And definitely don't be so worried about his feelings every moment and expressing/asking that so much next time. The texting, calling, etc was unnecessary and probably seemed desperate (no offense). If he's worth your time, an occasional text or call should suffice. And if he doesn't respond or tries to play games... move on and date someone better.

    Of course people have sex just for fun with no intention of taking it to relationship level. However, my point was he seemed from what the OP posted that he gave her a different idea. That is what is not cool. If you're just looking for a hook up, be up front and honest about it. Don't try to trick people who don't want just a hook up into having sex with someone who is gonna bail after said hook up.

    Gotcha. Yeah, he seems like a sleaze that was trying to disguise it as "Oh I was interested... it just didn't work out, so I'm still a nice guy". Pfffft. Nope.
  • nolan44219
    nolan44219 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Gloriam_Sanguinis wrote: »
    senior_citizen wrote: »
    This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.

    Wait people really believe that in a modern day society where independence and equality, education and freedom is valued and encouraged ? I thought this kind of thinking only belonged in third world countries.

    Different generation

    I thought I would go to hell for premarital sex. Eventually my hormones convinced me into thinking hopefully hell isn't as hot as the southern Baptist preacher says.

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