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Lodger/paying house guest
SEAHORSES4EVER
Posts: 1,553 Member
So today I am putting out an ad for a lodger/paying house guest
too long don't read, skip to the bit in bold at the bottom
What I should write-
I am looking for a working professional to join my household. One bedroom available for the right person within a welcoming, quiet house. Lots of amenities near by.
What I want to write- I am looking for a non psycho/freak to pay me money to put up with living with me. I am anal and will probably murder you if you put empty packets back in the cupboards or put overly stinky fish in my fridge.
If male, must put seat down and don't bring high pitched, loud girls/boys home. No romphims.
If female must make sure not to have same monthly time as me because that would be hell.
Sometimes I am really nice and will conversate, cook for you and maybe even share my alcohol, other times I don't want to talk at all and would appreciate it if you could be silent Bob during these times.
No fifty shades of grey readers please, I can't even.
Must be hygienic, no chronic diarrhoea sufferers. Don't touch my tea bags. No narcissists or humble braggers.
if you were to reply to an ad, what would you write and then what is the truth? What are you really like to live with (just for fun)
too long don't read, skip to the bit in bold at the bottom
What I should write-
I am looking for a working professional to join my household. One bedroom available for the right person within a welcoming, quiet house. Lots of amenities near by.
What I want to write- I am looking for a non psycho/freak to pay me money to put up with living with me. I am anal and will probably murder you if you put empty packets back in the cupboards or put overly stinky fish in my fridge.
If male, must put seat down and don't bring high pitched, loud girls/boys home. No romphims.
If female must make sure not to have same monthly time as me because that would be hell.
Sometimes I am really nice and will conversate, cook for you and maybe even share my alcohol, other times I don't want to talk at all and would appreciate it if you could be silent Bob during these times.
No fifty shades of grey readers please, I can't even.
Must be hygienic, no chronic diarrhoea sufferers. Don't touch my tea bags. No narcissists or humble braggers.
if you were to reply to an ad, what would you write and then what is the truth? What are you really like to live with (just for fun)
5
Replies
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How I would reply:
I am interesting in looking at the room you have available. I work a pretty set schedule, although sometimes I do get works at odd hours (these come to my cell phone that is kept on vibrate). I would like to know about the amenities available.
If I were to reply to your ad (of what you want to write):
I will pay you money to put up with you, but by accepting my money you also accept the fact that I, too, am anal and will freak out over dirty dishes left in the sink, even for an hour.
Can't guarantee aunt flo won't visit us at the same time... we can discuss a schedule so we don't cross paths AT ALL!!
I, too, have my moments of being nice and chatty, and I have my times where I want to be left alone. I will spend more time in my room if I want to be left alone. No need to ask. If these times match when you're feeling this way, BONUS!!
I don't have time to read anymore, so there ya go.
I shower daily, use fans and air fresheners when I need it, and will give you a heads up if something I ate didn't agree with me (hey, it happens).3 -
Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.0
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SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »So today I am putting out an ad for a lodger/paying house guest
too long don't read, skip to the bit in bold at the bottom
What I should write-
I am looking for a working professional to join my household. One bedroom available for the right person within a welcoming, quiet house. Lots of amenities near by.
What I want to write- I am looking for a non psycho/freak to pay me money to put up with living with me. I am anal and will probably murder you if you put empty packets back in the cupboards or put overly stinky fish in my fridge.
If male, must put seat down and don't bring high pitched, loud girls/boys home. No romphims.
If female must make sure not to have same monthly time as me because that would be hell.
Sometimes I am really nice and will conversate, cook for you and maybe even share my alcohol, other times I don't want to talk at all and would appreciate it if you could be silent Bob during these times.
No fifty shades of grey readers please, I can't even.
Must be hygienic, no chronic diarrhoea sufferers. Don't touch my tea bags. No narcissists or humble braggers.
if you were to reply to an ad, what would you write and then what is the truth? What are youreallylike to live with (just for fun)
So, how much diarrhoea would classify as chronic? And why did you mention touching tea bags immediately after mentioning diarrhoea?
When it happens on a weekly basis?0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »How I would reply:
I am interesting in looking at the room you have available. I work a pretty set schedule, although sometimes I do get works at odd hours (these come to my cell phone that is kept on vibrate). I would like to know about the amenities available.
If I were to reply to your ad (of what you want to write):
I will pay you money to put up with you, but by accepting my money you also accept the fact that I, too, am anal and will freak out over dirty dishes left in the sink, even for an hour.
Can't guarantee aunt flo won't visit us at the same time... we can discuss a schedule so we don't cross paths AT ALL!!
I, too, have my moments of being nice and chatty, and I have my times where I want to be left alone. I will spend more time in my room if I want to be left alone. No need to ask. If these times match when you're feeling this way, BONUS!!
I don't have time to read anymore, so there ya go.
I shower daily, use fans and air fresheners when I need it, and will give you a heads up if something I ate didn't agree with me (hey, it happens).
You sound promising.
Edited to add. We have a corner shop that sells gone off milk and a great selection of out of date cakes. 10 minutes walk away is a river that is great for fishing and reeling in old boots.2 -
BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I put the "(just for fun)" bit just for people like you.8 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I'm guessing you shouldn't apply
I agree & I am glad, to see; you back ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))!
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I would not reply as you have basically said that you are an unreasonable roommate. Sorry my Tom is not a roommates business and I should not know anything about their tom.0
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BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?4 -
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I put the "(just for fun)" bit just for people like you.
I know but I am, a technical person!0 -
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting! Therefore it doesn't concern, the advertisement but instead the response!0 -
BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting!
The whole thing is supposed to be fun. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought of it that way.0 -
What I'd write:
I'm quiet, very clean, and rarely have people over. I mostly keep to myself.
The truth:
If you have piles of crap anywhere in the shared living space, I'm going to cut you. Except I won't because I'm a passive-aggressive midwesterner, so instead I'll occasionally steal your shampoo. And toothpaste. And bronzer you know what? It's probably better if you don't leave things out.
Sometimes I will want to party with your friends, other times I'll take two hour baths and won't make eye contact for days. I struggle to maintain some semblance of a filter. I don't enjoy cooking. My living space will be spotless..ly bare. I'll talk to your pets like they're more interesting than you, and you'll almost never regret sharing a toilet with me.
3 -
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BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting! Therefore it doesn't concern, the advertisement but instead the response!
I don't want anyone whose punctuation gives me a headache anyway.7 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What I'd reply: I am a down to earth woman with a steady income and I love animals
What I'd want to reply: hope you like lizards. Many, many lizards. I'll be offended when you can't learn all their names and I hope you're ok with me building a distiller in the kitchen.
lizards are good but I'm terrible with names, perhaps we could compromise and get them name tags?
and, does that mean alcohol?1 -
What I'd reply: I'm friendly, easy to get along with, clean, and reasonably neat.
What I'd like to reply: I'm easy to get along with, unless it's my TOM, which comes about every three weeks since I'm "perimenopausal". Let's hope you don't sync to THAT cycle! I'll keep the common areas clean, but you might not want to open the door to my room. BTW, is eating in bed a problem? Oh, and I may or may not blow your toilet up on a semi-daily basis. Can't wait to hear from you, roomie!
1 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting!
The whole thing is supposed to be fun. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought of it that way.
I am certain as well but perhaps if she ever does, create an actual advertisement; she's got some free advice!0 -
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting! Therefore it doesn't concern, the advertisement but instead the response!
I don't want anyone whose punctuation gives me a headache anyway.
Aw phooey!0 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What I'd reply: I am a down to earth woman with a steady income and I love animals
What I'd want to reply: hope you like lizards. Many, many lizards. I'll be offended when you can't learn all their names and I hope you're ok with me building a distiller in the kitchen.
lizards are good but I'm terrible with names, perhaps we could compromise and get them name tags?
and, does that mean alcohol?
Well I mean, they're easy to distinguish by their personalities but maybe we could some tiny embroidered sweaters with their names. And yeah, sure...alcohol...
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abetterme9366 wrote: »Interested in the room you have available. I am a tidy female with dependable income and excellent employment history. I am on a 28 day menstrual cycle, very regular, I'm due to start in exactly 7 days. We may synch up but we can handle that with chocolate and romcoms. I'm a firm believer in feeding the beast so to speak. I'm kinky, like I can make a shades of grey book turn into shades of blush but don't worry, I do that at the club not at home. I have an iron stomach and don't get diarrhea, should it ever occur, I need my privacy, I will check into a hotel. I have impeccable style, I am a fabulous cook, I clean up after myself and most importantly I understand humor. When should I book the moving truck?
You had me at chocolate and feeding the beast.0 -
My reply: I'm a proud mom of two cats. I love to read and binge watch tv shows. I go to bed at 9:00 and I rarely have people over.
The truth: My cats will wake you up in the middle of the night it they can see the bottom of their food bowl. I don't like it when people talk to me while I'm read or concentrating on a show. If I recommend a show or movie and you stay on your phone the entire time while we're watching it, I'll throw a pillow at your head. If I stay up past my usual bedtime I feel rough the next day and I'll complain about being tired. I will then proclaim that I will go to bed much earlier the following night, but will fail to do so resulting in sleep deprivation for the entire week.2 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What I'd reply: I am a down to earth woman with a steady income and I love animals
What I'd want to reply: hope you like lizards. Many, many lizards. I'll be offended when you can't learn all their names and I hope you're ok with me building a distiller in the kitchen.
lizards are good but I'm terrible with names, perhaps we could compromise and get them name tags?
and, does that mean alcohol?
Well I mean, they're easy to distinguish by their personalities but maybe we could some tiny embroidered sweaters with their names. And yeah, sure...alcohol...
I must get the name of your lizard seamstress
Polly Pocket!0 -
What I'd reply: I'm friendly, easy to get along with, clean, and reasonably neat.
What I'd like to reply: I'm easy to get along with, unless it's my TOM, which comes about every three weeks since I'm "perimenopausal". Let's hope you don't sync to THAT cycle! I'll keep the common areas clean, but you might not want to open the door to my room. BTW, is eating in bed a problem? Oh, and I may or may not blow your toilet up on a semi-daily basis. Can't wait to hear from you, roomie!
I will not enter your bedroom at any point unless asked to do so or if I need to borrow some money.
I'll let you blow up my toilet if you promise to text me with a warning after each episode.1 -
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »What I'd reply: I'm friendly, easy to get along with, clean, and reasonably neat.
What I'd like to reply: I'm easy to get along with, unless it's my TOM, which comes about every three weeks since I'm "perimenopausal". Let's hope you don't sync to THAT cycle! I'll keep the common areas clean, but you might not want to open the door to my room. BTW, is eating in bed a problem? Oh, and I may or may not blow your toilet up on a semi-daily basis. Can't wait to hear from you, roomie!
I will not enter your bedroom at any point unless asked to do so or if I need to borrow some money.
I'll let you blow up my toilet if you promise to text me with a warning after each episode.
Awesome! Will do! Oh, I'll always share my alcohol with you. Just don't finish off the bottle without asking. That might put me over the edge...1 -
heidishmidi wrote: »What I'd write:
I'm quiet, very clean, and rarely have people over. I mostly keep to myself.
The truth:
If you have piles of crap anywhere in the shared living space, I'm going to cut you. Except I won't because I'm a passive-aggressive midwesterner, so instead I'll occasionally steal your shampoo. And toothpaste. And bronzer you know what? It's probably better if you don't leave things out.
Sometimes I will want to party with your friends, other times I'll take two hour baths and won't make eye contact for days. I struggle to maintain some semblance of a filter. I don't enjoy cooking. My living space will be spotless..ly bare. I'll talk to your pets like they're more interesting than you, and you'll almost never regret sharing a toilet with me.
You're perfect.
My pets are more interesting than me and I respect you for understanding that. I will put hair removal cream in my shampoo if you steal it more than once and I would request that you never make eye contact with me.1
This discussion has been closed.
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