Lodger/paying house guest
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SEAHORSES4EVER
Posts: 1,553 Member
So today I am putting out an ad for a lodger/paying house guest
too long don't read, skip to the bit in bold at the bottom
What I should write-
I am looking for a working professional to join my household. One bedroom available for the right person within a welcoming, quiet house. Lots of amenities near by.
What I want to write- I am looking for a non psycho/freak to pay me money to put up with living with me. I am anal and will probably murder you if you put empty packets back in the cupboards or put overly stinky fish in my fridge.
If male, must put seat down and don't bring high pitched, loud girls/boys home. No romphims.
If female must make sure not to have same monthly time as me because that would be hell.
Sometimes I am really nice and will conversate, cook for you and maybe even share my alcohol, other times I don't want to talk at all and would appreciate it if you could be silent Bob during these times.
No fifty shades of grey readers please, I can't even.
Must be hygienic, no chronic diarrhoea sufferers. Don't touch my tea bags. No narcissists or humble braggers.
if you were to reply to an ad, what would you write and then what is the truth? What are you really like to live with (just for fun)
too long don't read, skip to the bit in bold at the bottom
What I should write-
I am looking for a working professional to join my household. One bedroom available for the right person within a welcoming, quiet house. Lots of amenities near by.
What I want to write- I am looking for a non psycho/freak to pay me money to put up with living with me. I am anal and will probably murder you if you put empty packets back in the cupboards or put overly stinky fish in my fridge.
If male, must put seat down and don't bring high pitched, loud girls/boys home. No romphims.
If female must make sure not to have same monthly time as me because that would be hell.
Sometimes I am really nice and will conversate, cook for you and maybe even share my alcohol, other times I don't want to talk at all and would appreciate it if you could be silent Bob during these times.
No fifty shades of grey readers please, I can't even.
Must be hygienic, no chronic diarrhoea sufferers. Don't touch my tea bags. No narcissists or humble braggers.
if you were to reply to an ad, what would you write and then what is the truth? What are you really like to live with (just for fun)
5
Replies
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How I would reply:
I am interesting in looking at the room you have available. I work a pretty set schedule, although sometimes I do get works at odd hours (these come to my cell phone that is kept on vibrate). I would like to know about the amenities available.
If I were to reply to your ad (of what you want to write):
I will pay you money to put up with you, but by accepting my money you also accept the fact that I, too, am anal and will freak out over dirty dishes left in the sink, even for an hour.
Can't guarantee aunt flo won't visit us at the same time... we can discuss a schedule so we don't cross paths AT ALL!!
I, too, have my moments of being nice and chatty, and I have my times where I want to be left alone. I will spend more time in my room if I want to be left alone. No need to ask. If these times match when you're feeling this way, BONUS!!
I don't have time to read anymore, so there ya go.
I shower daily, use fans and air fresheners when I need it, and will give you a heads up if something I ate didn't agree with me (hey, it happens).3 -
Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.0
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SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »So today I am putting out an ad for a lodger/paying house guest
too long don't read, skip to the bit in bold at the bottom
What I should write-
I am looking for a working professional to join my household. One bedroom available for the right person within a welcoming, quiet house. Lots of amenities near by.
What I want to write- I am looking for a non psycho/freak to pay me money to put up with living with me. I am anal and will probably murder you if you put empty packets back in the cupboards or put overly stinky fish in my fridge.
If male, must put seat down and don't bring high pitched, loud girls/boys home. No romphims.
If female must make sure not to have same monthly time as me because that would be hell.
Sometimes I am really nice and will conversate, cook for you and maybe even share my alcohol, other times I don't want to talk at all and would appreciate it if you could be silent Bob during these times.
No fifty shades of grey readers please, I can't even.
Must be hygienic, no chronic diarrhoea sufferers. Don't touch my tea bags. No narcissists or humble braggers.
if you were to reply to an ad, what would you write and then what is the truth? What are youreallylike to live with (just for fun)
So, how much diarrhoea would classify as chronic? And why did you mention touching tea bags immediately after mentioning diarrhoea?
When it happens on a weekly basis?0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »How I would reply:
I am interesting in looking at the room you have available. I work a pretty set schedule, although sometimes I do get works at odd hours (these come to my cell phone that is kept on vibrate). I would like to know about the amenities available.
If I were to reply to your ad (of what you want to write):
I will pay you money to put up with you, but by accepting my money you also accept the fact that I, too, am anal and will freak out over dirty dishes left in the sink, even for an hour.
Can't guarantee aunt flo won't visit us at the same time... we can discuss a schedule so we don't cross paths AT ALL!!
I, too, have my moments of being nice and chatty, and I have my times where I want to be left alone. I will spend more time in my room if I want to be left alone. No need to ask. If these times match when you're feeling this way, BONUS!!
I don't have time to read anymore, so there ya go.
I shower daily, use fans and air fresheners when I need it, and will give you a heads up if something I ate didn't agree with me (hey, it happens).
You sound promising.
Edited to add. We have a corner shop that sells gone off milk and a great selection of out of date cakes. 10 minutes walk away is a river that is great for fishing and reeling in old boots.2 -
BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I put the "(just for fun)" bit just for people like you.8 -
kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I'm guessing you shouldn't apply
I agree & I am glad, to see; you back ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))!
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I would not reply as you have basically said that you are an unreasonable roommate. Sorry my Tom is not a roommates business and I should not know anything about their tom.0
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BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?4 -
SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I put the "(just for fun)" bit just for people like you.
I know but I am, a technical person!0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting! Therefore it doesn't concern, the advertisement but instead the response!0 -
BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting!
The whole thing is supposed to be fun. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought of it that way.0 -
What I'd write:
I'm quiet, very clean, and rarely have people over. I mostly keep to myself.
The truth:
If you have piles of crap anywhere in the shared living space, I'm going to cut you. Except I won't because I'm a passive-aggressive midwesterner, so instead I'll occasionally steal your shampoo. And toothpaste. And bronzer you know what? It's probably better if you don't leave things out.
Sometimes I will want to party with your friends, other times I'll take two hour baths and won't make eye contact for days. I struggle to maintain some semblance of a filter. I don't enjoy cooking. My living space will be spotless..ly bare. I'll talk to your pets like they're more interesting than you, and you'll almost never regret sharing a toilet with me.
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BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting! Therefore it doesn't concern, the advertisement but instead the response!
I don't want anyone whose punctuation gives me a headache anyway.7 -
MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »What I'd reply: I am a down to earth woman with a steady income and I love animals
What I'd want to reply: hope you like lizards. Many, many lizards. I'll be offended when you can't learn all their names and I hope you're ok with me building a distiller in the kitchen.
lizards are good but I'm terrible with names, perhaps we could compromise and get them name tags?
and, does that mean alcohol?1 -
What I'd reply: I'm friendly, easy to get along with, clean, and reasonably neat.
What I'd like to reply: I'm easy to get along with, unless it's my TOM, which comes about every three weeks since I'm "perimenopausal". Let's hope you don't sync to THAT cycle! I'll keep the common areas clean, but you might not want to open the door to my room. BTW, is eating in bed a problem? Oh, and I may or may not blow your toilet up on a semi-daily basis. Can't wait to hear from you, roomie!
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »Well some, of your requests're impossible & illegal! 1st concerning periods, women residing together tend to sync their cycles it's an odd phenomenon so that's almost impossible https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_synchrony; unless your tenant doesn't have periods & you're unable to ask if they do because of privacy. 2nd if diarrhea's a medical condition, you'd be violating disability laws. Also your preference about 50 Shades, goes against tenant laws because book/movie preference; isn't illegal.
I guess the "just for fun" part was overlooked?
Technically she put it as part of what type of tenant'd be responding (which I, didn't answer), not prior to; what type of an advertisement she'd be posting!
The whole thing is supposed to be fun. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought of it that way.
I am certain as well but perhaps if she ever does, create an actual advertisement; she's got some free advice!0
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