Let me hear your well intended healthy recipe FAILS

JaiChameleon

Kind of a different type of fail, but: when I first started dieting but wasn't doing calorie counts, one of my favorite meals to make were smoked salmon wraps--just smoked salmon, honey mustard sauce, dill, and spring greens wrapped in a tortilla. Two was a lovely, light meal for lunch or dinner.

Then I got MFP and entered the recipe and found that 2 wraps=956 calories. Whoops.

Geocitiesuser

I add my protein powder to oats after they are cooked as a mixin.

x_stephisaur_x

Made a "healthier" lasagne when I was following Slimming World. Basically, you swap the white sauce for one you make yourself from natural yoghurt, an egg and some nutmeg. So, I made it. It looked and smelt like white sauce but it sort of... set... in the oven. It was vile. I hate omlettes and anything like that, so it really wasn't my thing. I'd rather just account for the real thing!

On a funnier note, once I tried to make my Husband a birthday cake. Problem was, we'd just moved house and I was using the oven for the first time. Managed to grill it so that it was burnt on top and raw in the middle. Lovely!

jessiferrrb

crazyravr wrote: »

jessiferrrb wrote: »

that million post thread about protein cheesecake . . . i've tried 3 times, only once did i find it edible. it has like 2000 glowing endorsements, but i can't make it work. switched powders, mixins, all of it. at least i can't *kitten* up halo top.

Come on over I'll show you how to make it. Worth a trip. Stay for dinner

best offer ever! you're like the gordon ramsey of mfp from what i hear. lol

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dm5859

My biggest cooking fail was low carb bread. I was dreaming all the things I could eat again. Toast with low carb jam, sandwiches , French toast... my loaf was harder than a brick, never rose and could have been registered as a weapon.

mjbnj0001

When I first started making my own bread last year ("no knead" style), I quickly found out that "whole wheat" bread isn't the best if using only whole wheat flour. If I made about 1000 more loaves the same way, I could make myself a nice brick BBQ for the backyard, LOL.

ccruz985

I tried making that low carb cloud bread. It was awful, did not look like the picture at ALL. Cloud my @$$, it was like a gross crunchy pancake.

abbynormalartist

ccruz985 wrote: »

I tried making that low carb cloud bread. It was awful, did not look like the picture at ALL. Cloud my @$$, it was like a gross crunchy pancake.

Ugh! I forgot when I tried making cloud bread. Mine was like a wet, eggy ball of fluff.

bobbigirl83

Never use bok choy for lettuce wraps. Ugh.

bbontheb

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

Those nasty 0 calorie Asian noodles. Never. Again.

Are those the nupasta things?

gothchiq

I tried to make veggie "noodles" and cooked them too long. Apparently 5 min. is too long. MUSH. Blah.

pkdragok

Ham salad then i forget what I'm doing and add full fat salad cream

EHollander89

I've tried a couple of versions of healthier brownies that had too many substitutions and came out mushy and gross. I tried a white bean white chocolate version and a raspberry brownie version. The raspberry brownies were edible but looked horrible (my best friend said they looked like dog poop). The white bean brownies both looked and tasted like a disaster! I also tried a protein powder cupcake recipe that might have been ok with some tweaking. Again, too many substitutions to get the right texture/taste

kristen8000

So I had the idea of making Jello pudding, with Almond Milk instead of regular cow's milk (My BF is lactose intolerant and looking for ways to cut out dairy). Word to the wise, it doesn't set up.

I ended up with Lemon Soup.

_pi3_

I was trying to make cookies healthier and substituted applesauce for better. It ended up to goopy to form into cookies so I stuck it in the oven and made a thin cookie cake

Another time I was making a cheesecake for my mom's birthday and I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what to replace butter in the brownie crust so I put avacado in it .. the avacado made it a little less sweet and actually kinda nasty thankfully the rest of the cheesecake was good enough nobody cares.

Except my bf but he likes to take food I make apart and give it rating on a scale of 1 to 5 anyway

ElvenToad

kristen8000 wrote: »

So I had the idea of making Jello pudding, with Almond Milk instead of regular cow's milk (My BF is lactose intolerant and looking for ways to cut out dairy). Word to the wise, it doesn't set up.

I ended up with Lemon Soup.

It will set up fine if you use 1 cup of almond milk vs 2 cups like the directions say. I went through a fat free sugar free jello box pudding mix phase and made it everyday for awhile. Oh and whisk very very well

MsHarryWinston

A few years ago I tried to make a low calorie Eggs Benedict. The low cal hollandaise sauce was absolutely horrendous. And I'm not going to lie, I deserved what I got for the sacrilegious act of trying to make low calorie eggs benny. *hangs head in shame*

CynthiasChoice

About 25 years ago, I had the idea to cook a pork roast in a crock pot. I just put the raw pork right in the crock without searing it first on the stovetop. When it was done, it looked like a sickly creature from another planet. Very pale - almost white, and wrinkly. I can't remember how it tasted, just that it looked revolting!

katherinemcaninch

Oh that cracked me up good! Thanks

wenrob

kristen8000 wrote: »

So I had the idea of making Jello pudding, with Almond Milk instead of regular cow's milk (My BF is lactose intolerant and looking for ways to cut out dairy). Word to the wise, it doesn't set up.

I ended up with Lemon Soup.

Huh, I sometimes use Jello Pudding mix for flavor in my protein shakes w/Almond Milk and it thickens up quite a bit overnight. Not pudding thick but not anywhere near soupy. I'm only using a tablespoon of mix w/8ozs Almond Milk though. Now I'm going to have to make a full box just to see. Just always assumed it would since sometimes I have to add more liquid to make them drinkable.

Back in the 90's during the "fat is evil" craze I tried making my DH's grandmother's famous butter biscuits with fat free butter. It wasn't pretty and I don't think he's ever forgiven me for it.

Susieq_1994

Well, there was this one time when I decided to make "healthy brownies" out of canned chickpeas (read: salty-as-the-sea chickpeas)...

CattOfTheGarage

I woke up very early one day during a very stressful period of my life and decided that i must Do Something Useful - and what I really needed to do was make soup.

I flailed around in the kitchen for some time adding various things to my Magnum Opus. I ended up with a huge pan of hot, hearty, inedible sludge.

For those who are ever tempted, potatoes and tomatoes DO NOT GO TOGETHER IN SOUP. And sausages do nothing to improve the situation.

Ever since then, an instance of waking up far too early gripped with the stress-driven desire to get up and Do Something Useful is known as a Soup Moment. It is to be resisted at all costs.

CattOfTheGarage

CynthiasChoice wrote: »

I just put the raw pork right in the crock without searing it first on the stovetop. When it was done, it looked like a sickly creature from another planet.

For the record, meat cooked this way usually tastes good, despite its horror-movie appearance. Gravy is your friend! Alternatively, you can brown it after the fact, under the grill/broiler or in a hot oven. If it has a good fat cap it will brown up beautifully and taste great.

Lounmoun

I have had a few ground turkey mishaps. There was a ground turkey burger with peach that just fell apart, looked gross, smelled gross. We got take out that night. Another time I made meatballs for meatball sandwiches and they disintegrated in the sauce (figured out that baking turkey meatballs works better than cooking them in sauce).

There was a chicken, mushroom, pumpkin disaster. The pumpkin shell was rock hard. I had to hit it with a hammer to break it. The inside was tough too. The end result was pretty blah. The chicken and mushrooms were not too bad if you didn't get any pumpkin.

MelodiousMermaid

I was in a "green" phase and was trying to vary my types of green intake. Green smoothie with pears and mustard leaves. Not like one small leaf, but the genius I am was like "more is better!" Yeah. Undrinkable. Lesson learned! LOL

Tolamarie

I joined Weight Watcher's for the first time in 1975. Part of the plan was that you had to eat fish five times each week. They had quite a few suggested recipes and I thought I would try making tuna chili. I don't remember all the ingredients, but I do recall tuna, Worcestershire sauce, chili powder, and ketchup were included. OMG! It was awful! I still have nightmares. Even the barn cats wouldn't eat it.

dragonfly_66

I tried to make a "sundae" once with plain Greek yogurt, heated up apples and cinnamon, date caramel and walnuts. Plain Greek yogurt tastes JUST like sour cream. A sour cream sundae is no bueno

Francl27

Most 'healthier' recipes using whole wheat flour vs white, applesauce vs oil and whatnot... it always turns out disgusting.

And the instant pot pumpkin pecan cheesecake recipe I found online. YUCK. Still no clue what went wrong because I followed the recipe to the letter but it ended up in the trash.