When hard times hit they really hit,huh?

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  • Danilynn1975
    Danilynn1975 Posts: 294 Member
    Breathe. In. Hold it. Now exhale.

    Repeat until calm.

    You more or less described the last year of my life.

    I can't tell you what to do, I can tell you what I have done.

    Last summer we had to have our daughter committed to the state mental hospital. She is Borderline Personality Disorder with early hallmarks of schizophrenia. That was hard. Really hard.

    At that point I had been using this sight regularly for about 30 days.

    Roughly 2 weeks later we get told my mother-in-law had stage 4 small cell carcinoma of the lungs. It had metastasized into her kidneys, brain, throat and liver.

    Insurance would not pay for chemo or radiation. My husband and I got second jobs on top of all this and started the fight of our lives to try and help raise the money to make it so the docs could maybe save her. We held fund raisers, took up collections and prayed a lot. We split our time between our daughter in the hospital, Mom, and our youngest daughter at home and working like mad fiends to raise money.

    I will not lie and tell you this will be easy. I will tell you it is worth it. Every tear you will cry, every joy you get to see. The setbacks will happen. When you doubt yourself, double down and pray a bit more. Lean on the people that love you and don't be afraid to put you first. You can't save anyone or help them save themselves if you don't take care of you first.

    A commitment hearing is a quick thing, pay some money to the circuit court clerk after filling out some paperwork with the why, they get it set before a judge to review, some doctors will talk to you and your husband and make evaluations. Usually 2 of them. They give their opinions to the court for the judge to review. If they think he is a danger, the judge will remand him into custody for treatment. It's hard but the end results are worth it. Don't give up.

    Breathe some more.

    Your sister is going to need you to be strong. Breast cancer is winnable. She can do this.

    Stand strong and hold on. You are gonna need your emotions in order and your ability to organize and take care of you in fine fighting form.

    We lost my mother-in-law last Sunday to her battle with cancer. It was hard taking care of her. It was hard to see her hurt, cry and slowly fade out on us. My heart still breaks at the things we have gone through the last year. We buried her Wednesday.

    My oldest daughter is in a long term treatment facility 3 hours away from us. It is hard, but she is getting great care.

    I don't know what the new normal is, but I do know I have a beautiful support system in place and you will too.
    Feel free to friend me, I was where you are a year ago. If I can do this you can too.

    Now breathe some more and have faith.
  • awall1984
    awall1984 Posts: 42
    Thank you all for your replies. Hearing situation similar to mine hepl me out more than you know. Is it selfish of me or wrong to be RELIEVED that ppl have actually lived what I am living as far as my husband goes?

    I can honestly say that I am so glad I found mfp and you guys are great. Thank you again :)

  • We lost my mother-in-law last Sunday to her battle with cancer. It was hard taking care of her. It was hard to see her hurt, cry and slowly fade out on us. My heart still breaks at the things we have gone through the last year. We buried her Wednesday.

    No words. Only the deepest sympathy for you, Danilynn1975, for this loss... Many prayers for you and your family.
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Sorry your going through all this...as others have said we cant make the choices for you but I do think you and your children will be in a much safer environment once your husband is diagnosed and receiving treatment.....good luck with everything