Frustrated and upset...
Replies
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CattOfTheGarage wrote: »You have never been overweight.
You gained a pound.
Now you are skipping meals and 'drowning your sorrows' because you are a 'failure'.
I feel that a little perspective here might help us all meet our goals. I suggest the Success Stories forum.
I found this disturbing too.
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3-4 lbs make a difference? If I were that close to goal I'd be happy. 1
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The scale is brand new - bought yesterday. ... (meaning that not only have I not lost weight, but gained).
You're weighing yourself on a different scale. There is always some variation from one scale to another. If you weigh yourself on your old scale, and the new one, right after the other, you will probably see that this is the reason there is a difference.
Ugh. The other scale is not old either, though. I'm renting out my flat and staying at my parents' place and decided to get a scale here too.
I feel like a failure and am drowning my sorrows in wine (in lieu of dinner though).
Still got a week until I'm leaving on vacation. Perhaps I can make a difference in the final seven days - from tomorrow on.
Wine instead of dinner will likely get the scales to go in the right direction (less food in your belly, more dehydrated). So if all it will take to make you happy is to see those scales move you should be good to go tomorrow!
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goldthistime wrote: »
The scale is brand new - bought yesterday. ... (meaning that not only have I not lost weight, but gained).
You're weighing yourself on a different scale. There is always some variation from one scale to another. If you weigh yourself on your old scale, and the new one, right after the other, you will probably see that this is the reason there is a difference.
Ugh. The other scale is not old either, though. I'm renting out my flat and staying at my parents' place and decided to get a scale here too.
I feel like a failure and am drowning my sorrows in wine (in lieu of dinner though).
Still got a week until I'm leaving on vacation. Perhaps I can make a difference in the final seven days - from tomorrow on.
Wine instead of dinner will likely get the scales to go in the right direction (less food in your belly, more dehydrated). So if all it will take to make you happy is to see those scales move you should be good to go tomorrow!
Never worked that way for me. I eat more when I drink, and I don't sleep well, and the next day I have the "not enough sleep" munchies, plus I'm not inclined to be active.2 -
[/quote]
Wine instead of dinner will likely get the scales to go in the right direction (less food in your belly, more dehydrated). So if all it will take to make you happy is to see those scales move you should be good to go tomorrow!
[/quote]
I have actually not had very solid BMs recently...I heard flax seed oil can help, anyone had experience?
Maybe I'm carrying some food around.0 -
goldthistime wrote: »
The scale is brand new - bought yesterday. ... (meaning that not only have I not lost weight, but gained).
You're weighing yourself on a different scale. There is always some variation from one scale to another. If you weigh yourself on your old scale, and the new one, right after the other, you will probably see that this is the reason there is a difference.
Ugh. The other scale is not old either, though. I'm renting out my flat and staying at my parents' place and decided to get a scale here too.
I feel like a failure and am drowning my sorrows in wine (in lieu of dinner though).
Still got a week until I'm leaving on vacation. Perhaps I can make a difference in the final seven days - from tomorrow on.
Wine instead of dinner will likely get the scales to go in the right direction (less food in your belly, more dehydrated). So if all it will take to make you happy is to see those scales move you should be good to go tomorrow!
when i was younger and would drink loads and then be properly hungover, i would be lighter the next day, these days, 2 or 3 cocktails or glasses of prosecco and i am a couple of pounds heavier the next day.0 -
Why do people freak out over tiny things like this? Why do people attach their worth to their weight? You need to learn to have a healthier mindset. Do you really think your worth changes whether you are your ideal weight or 10, 20, or 50 lbs overweight? My response to posts like these is there is nothing wrong with your body it is your self-esteem and judgements you make on your worth and body. Believe me, I know it is hard and I am a victim like everyone else. But I also realize that if I have a healthy mind and know my worth, this doesn't change every time my weight changes.17
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And in all honesty, no one is really going to give a *kitten* about your body in France. I never understand the people that come here and want to lose X pounds by a certain date. It isn't even about yourselves you are so fixed on other people. And you don't even realize that no one really gives a *kitten*.13
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CattOfTheGarage wrote: »You have never been overweight.
You gained a pound.
Now you are skipping meals and 'drowning your sorrows' because you are a 'failure'.
I feel that a little perspective here might help us all meet our goals. I suggest the Success Stories forum.
This.2 -
kshama2001 wrote: »goldthistime wrote: »
The scale is brand new - bought yesterday. ... (meaning that not only have I not lost weight, but gained).
You're weighing yourself on a different scale. There is always some variation from one scale to another. If you weigh yourself on your old scale, and the new one, right after the other, you will probably see that this is the reason there is a difference.
Ugh. The other scale is not old either, though. I'm renting out my flat and staying at my parents' place and decided to get a scale here too.
I feel like a failure and am drowning my sorrows in wine (in lieu of dinner though).
Still got a week until I'm leaving on vacation. Perhaps I can make a difference in the final seven days - from tomorrow on.
Wine instead of dinner will likely get the scales to go in the right direction (less food in your belly, more dehydrated). So if all it will take to make you happy is to see those scales move you should be good to go tomorrow!
Never worked that way for me. I eat more when I drink, and I don't sleep well, and the next day I have the "not enough sleep" munchies, plus I'm not inclined to be active.
I overeat and under exercise the next day too. Drinking alcohol is definitely not something I would encourage someone looking to slim down to do, other than jokingly.
I differ from you and @TavistockToad in that my weight is reliably down the day after drinking alcohol. Good reminder that not everyone is me.
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I have actually not had very solid BMs recently...I heard flax seed oil can help, anyone had experience?
Maybe I'm carrying some food around.
Jeez.....
If that's the case, what in the world could you possibly be worried about? If you do accomplish a solid BM, have you lost any unwanted fat by doing that?
There's a complete lack of rationality here...
I'm starting to wonder if we're all being played....if you are serious about feeling this way, nobody here can help you - see a professional about your relationship to food....
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honestly .... I retain anywhere from 1 to 4 lbs of water on a DAILY basis and I have seen that most days its 3 or 4 lbs. I know thats what it is because I weigh every day and lose something about every 10 days normally. Every day between my losses .... I have water retention and weigh a few lbs more. You need to learn what YOUR body does on a normal basis so it doesnt freak you out. If I stressed about it daily I would have given up a long time ago but I didnt and have lost 35 lbs.1
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fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »ONE pound? I can show a ONE pound increase on the scale by eating potato chips right before bed. I think you are overreacting a bit.
During the couple of days after I did a half marathon I put on 12lb!!! I guess I could have let it stress me, but I knew I hadn't eaten anywhere nearly enough to put on that much fat. So I just took it in my stride and watched it drop off over the next week. Made for an interesting spike on my trendweight graph but that's it.3 -
OP, what is your height and weight?0
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OP, magnesium can help with bathroom issues. Make sure you're eating adequate fat and fibre and drinking adequate fluids.0
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Silentpadna wrote: »
I have actually not had very solid BMs recently...I heard flax seed oil can help, anyone had experience?
Maybe I'm carrying some food around.
Jeez.....
If that's the case, what in the world could you possibly be worried about? If you do accomplish a solid BM, have you lost any unwanted fat by doing that?
There's a complete lack of rationality here...
I'm starting to wonder if we're all being played....if you are serious about feeling this way, nobody here can help you - see a professional about your relationship to food....
I have had BMs, just not big ones. Besides, if there is less food going in, it does make sense that there is less to come out, or is that too a "complete lack of rationality"?
Thanks anyway for the "friendly" advice.0 -
I'm afraid that if you come into a forum where people are working hard to lose large amounts of excess weight and dealing with struggles like gaining 5lb overnight for no reason, or binging on 2000 calories in one go and trying to find a way through the fallout from that, or worrying whether they can afford loose skin surgery after losing 150lb over three years of hard work and faith and ups and downs, and you declare that you are a failure because you saw an upward fluctuation of 1lb within the healthy weight range and declare that you're taking refuge in the bottle because things didn't work out exactly as you expected after *one week*...
...you are going to put some backs up.
I have every sympathy for people who come here looking for advice about losing small amounts of weight. It's a great place to access a lot of knowledge and experience from people who have learned the hard way what does and doesn't work in weight loss. People will be very keen to help you, and to sympathise with the frustrations that go with any weight loss attempt.
All you need offer in return is a little basic sensitivity, humility and a sense of perspective. Like not declaring that gaining 1lb makes you a 'failure'. I'm 28lb overweight. If you're a failure, what does that make me?13 -
Silentpadna wrote: »
I have actually not had very solid BMs recently...I heard flax seed oil can help, anyone had experience?
Maybe I'm carrying some food around.
Jeez.....
If that's the case, what in the world could you possibly be worried about? If you do accomplish a solid BM, have you lost any unwanted fat by doing that?
There's a complete lack of rationality here...
I'm starting to wonder if we're all being played....if you are serious about feeling this way, nobody here can help you - see a professional about your relationship to food....
I have had BMs, just not big ones. Besides, if there is less food going in, it does make sense that there is less to come out, or is that too a "complete lack of rationality"?
Thanks anyway for the "friendly" advice.
I realize my comment was a bit snarky and I apologize for that.
However, I still don't see the rationality of worrying about a pound or two when your fluctuations can be 3-5 times that over a single day - in the course of the day. What it appears to me is that you're fixated on a number on the scale, which in the context of a very short time period, doesn't give you a true representation of what's going on - particularly with respect to losing fat. And losing fat is the goal right? Controlling fluctuations is not only difficult, but most times is impossible.
The irrational part here is not the part about wanting to be regular - I get that, and I wish I was...
The irrational part is holding on to the notion that the extra pound you're worried about means something when it really can't if you're doing the process correctly, i.e. eating in a deficit.
Again, apologies for the snarkiness in the previous post...4 -
Look for group called "OMAD Revolution". People here have such huge success stories and we are never deprived of any food. The reason that I do OMAD is because I was tired if trying to eat only "healthy" food and it kept me feeling hungry all the time! Look into the group. You should see what people eat and post pictures of! We are the only group that eat like Kings!9
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CattOfTheGarage wrote: »I'm afraid that if you come into a forum where people are working hard to lose large amounts of excess weight and dealing with struggles like gaining 5lb overnight for no reason, or binging on 2000 calories in one go and trying to find a way through the fallout from that, or worrying whether they can afford loose skin surgery after losing 150lb over three years of hard work and faith and ups and downs, and you declare that you are a failure because you saw an upward fluctuation of 1lb within the healthy weight range and declare that you're taking refuge in the bottle because things didn't work out exactly as you expected after *one week*...
...you are going to put some backs up.
I have every sympathy for people who come here looking for advice about losing small amounts of weight. It's a great place to access a lot of knowledge and experience from people who have learned the hard way what does and doesn't work in weight loss. People will be very keen to help you, and to sympathise with the frustrations that go with any weight loss attempt.
All you need offer in return is a little basic sensitivity, humility and a sense of perspective. Like not declaring that gaining 1lb makes you a 'failure'. I'm 28lb overweight. If you're a failure, what does that make me?
This sums up what I also am thinking.
You were offered rational advice and methods to lessen the overwhelmed feeling of a normal fluctuation. However, people are going to be less likely to be compassionate when the advice is ignored in lieu of drinking wine instead of eating because of a simple fluctuation, for example.
And if this is how your relationship is normally with your body, I actually recommend talking to a professional about it. Feeling like a failure over a small gain, or attatching any type of worth to a number on a scale, is both unhealthy. Nor is drinking alcohol instead of eating, but hey. Been there, done that.
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The scale is brand new - bought yesterday. ... (meaning that not only have I not lost weight, but gained).
You're weighing yourself on a different scale. There is always some variation from one scale to another. If you weigh yourself on your old scale, and the new one, right after the other, you will probably see that this is the reason there is a difference.
Ugh. The other scale is not old either, though. I'm renting out my flat and staying at my parents' place and decided to get a scale here too.
I feel like a failure and am drowning my sorrows in wine (in lieu of dinner though).
Still got a week until I'm leaving on vacation. Perhaps I can make a difference in the final seven days - from tomorrow on.
Even if the other scale wasn't old, the point is that they are DIFFERENT scales. They are going to weigh differently--you cannot switch between the two scales and expect your weight to be the same between the two unless you have baselined them to ensure that they are identical. Which they won't be, unless they are super-highly-calibrated analytical scales...4 -
CattOfTheGarage wrote: »I'm afraid that if you come into a forum where people are working hard to lose large amounts of excess weight and dealing with struggles like gaining 5lb overnight for no reason, or binging on 2000 calories in one go and trying to find a way through the fallout from that, or worrying whether they can afford loose skin surgery after losing 150lb over three years of hard work and faith and ups and downs, and you declare that you are a failure because you saw an upward fluctuation of 1lb within the healthy weight range and declare that you're taking refuge in the bottle because things didn't work out exactly as you expected after *one week*...
...you are going to put some backs up.
I have every sympathy for people who come here looking for advice about losing small amounts of weight. It's a great place to access a lot of knowledge and experience from people who have learned the hard way what does and doesn't work in weight loss. People will be very keen to help you, and to sympathise with the frustrations that go with any weight loss attempt.
All you need offer in return is a little basic sensitivity, humility and a sense of perspective. Like not declaring that gaining 1lb makes you a 'failure'. I'm 28lb overweight. If you're a failure, what does that make me?
I get all of that, and it was clearly reflected in some comments. Nevertheless, I thought the issue at hand was one most have experienced regardless of weight situtation - "why is the scale not moving".
Also, I do think everybody acts from their own starting point. You don't need to be filing for personal bankrupcy for financial issues to be bothersome, if you know what I mean? A lot of people complain about their situation even if I think they're objectively better off than me, I just don't take it to heart.
Anyways - I should have written 'vanity pound' in the thread title, but I can't find a way to edit it now.1 -
vespiquenn wrote: »
And if this is how your relationship is normally with your body, I actually recommend talking to a professional about it. Feeling like a failure over a small gain, or attatching any type of worth to a number on a scale, is both healthy.
Yeah, that's very possible. My mother is the exact same way in regards to her own body, it's always been an issue, but I have never been anorexic or bulemic.0 -
Also, OP, you seem to be under the impression that we have one exact weight. We don't. The scale constantly fluctuates, for any myriad of reasons we may or may not be able to pinpoint. So a 1 lb gain means literally nothing. This is why, when people reach maintenance (where you basically are), they have a 3-5 lb weight range, and it's only when they are consistently trending out of that range that they become more concerned with the numbers. To obsess over shedding a lb or 2 of water weight is silly. Extra water weight at a given time is just a sign that your body is healthy and performing it's normal functions (unless you have a medical condition that really skews that).7
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vespiquenn wrote: »
And if this is how your relationship is normally with your body, I actually recommend talking to a professional about it. Feeling like a failure over a small gain, or attatching any type of worth to a number on a scale, is both healthy.
Yeah, that's very possible. My mother is the exact same way in regards to her own body, it's always been an issue, but I have never been anorexic or bulemic.
Whoops. Definitely meant unhealthy.
But you don't have to have a full blown eating disorder to have disordered eating or body distortion. However, those things can turn into an eating disorder.
It might beneficial to speak to someone before it gets to that point.
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@try2again has it right. I suggest running a search through the forums for 'fluctuation' or 'water weight'. You'll find the theme repeated endlessly - why did I gain weight when I did everything right? Because sometimes - oftentimes - that just happens. The body is not made of a solid material with a single, consistent weight. It is more like a wet sponge, which varies in weight according to all sorts of factors which cause it to lose or gain water.
What you're trying to do is actually quite tricky - lose a few pounds of fat specifically. It's tricky because your body can change its water retention by many times more than that in a single day, which means you simply can't see if you've lost the fat or not, except by looking at the overall trend of your weight. It takes time, patience and consistency to do, and you need to emotionally detach yourself from the number on the scale, which will go up and down seemingly at random.
It is frustrating. Weight loss in one sense is simple, but it isn't a case of 'do this, get that' in a short timeframe. It can take time to see your results.2 -
vespiquenn wrote: »If you're seeing results physically, why are you concerned by a number? Especially an increase that could be nothing more than a normal fluctuation.
Yes I thought that too, but I am numbers person, and I am starting to doubt whether it is real if I don't see it.
I know that people tend to get a little 'blind' in regards to their own bodies, and now I am worried that I haven't actually lost anything
I just read an article that weight loss has nothing to do with recent behavior but is actually a result of previous weeks that eventually catch up. The day to day has no bearing on your weight loss or gain. It changed my whole perspective on scale fluctuation.
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Well boo. BUT... here is the limited wisdom from my limited sample space. Whenever I have counted or otherwise tried to lose weight, I have never seen a (lasting) result within a week. On occasion, my weight would drop down only to go right back up a day or two later. Odd as it may sound, this is why I NEED to log if I want to stick to it; otherwise I'll fall into the "I've been at this forever and getting no results" mindset. After a week or two, the weight will start to fall away - but not consistently in a down direction. There is always going to be some fluctuation according to your state of dehydration, contents of your intestines, etc. This is why they tell us to only get weighed once a week - like I have the self discipline for that! LOL! So, cut yourself some slack. If you feel in better shape, if your clothes seem looser, just keep doing what you're doing. Have a great time on your vacation and no stress!!1
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DharmainHeels wrote: »vespiquenn wrote: »If you're seeing results physically, why are you concerned by a number? Especially an increase that could be nothing more than a normal fluctuation.
Yes I thought that too, but I am numbers person, and I am starting to doubt whether it is real if I don't see it.
I know that people tend to get a little 'blind' in regards to their own bodies, and now I am worried that I haven't actually lost anything
I just read an article that weight loss has nothing to do with recent behavior but is actually a result of previous weeks that eventually catch up. The day to day has no bearing on your weight loss or gain. It changed my whole perspective on scale fluctuation.
Exactly. It's a multi-day accumulation of calories *over your maintenance level* (roughly 3500) that creates a fat gain. If you know you haven't done that, it's not fat. On the other hand, a person's water weight can go up 5 lbs overnight.1 -
LizbethHeller wrote: »Well boo. BUT... here is the limited wisdom from my limited sample space. Whenever I have counted or otherwise tried to lose weight, I have never seen a (lasting) result within a week. On occasion, my weight would drop down only to go right back up a day or two later. Odd as it may sound, this is why I NEED to log if I want to stick to it; otherwise I'll fall into the "I've been at this forever and getting no results" mindset. After a week or two, the weight will start to fall away - but not consistently in a down direction. There is always going to be some fluctuation according to your state of dehydration, contents of your intestines, etc. This is why they tell us to only get weighed once a week - like I have the self discipline for that! LOL! So, cut yourself some slack. If you feel in better shape, if your clothes seem looser, just keep doing what you're doing. Have a great time on your vacation and no stress!!
You don't need to just weigh once a week, though I used to subscribe to that too. In fact, if that weigh-in happens to fall on a high day for you, it can be quite discouraging. By weighing daily under the same conditions, you can get a better sense of your body and it's trends. That being said, you may not be able to see the overall trend in under a month, especially if you have very little to lose and are a woman.1
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