Feeling frustrated with my family

Lounmoun

Here is what may be happening:
Father has heard for years eggs are bad, carbs are bad, fat is bad, white foods are bad. Years of diet propaganda and confusion. Perhaps he doesn't really know why or is not aware that thinking has changed. Perhaps he is resisting changing his own diet because he thinks he will have to eat stuff he doesn't like.
You could try explaining to your father that these foods have nutrients that help you meet your goals and preferences and are fine for you to eat. If he doesn't want to eat them then he does not have to.

Thank them for providing food no matter how frustrated you are about their choices and comments.
Compliment and talk up any choices you really like. "This oatmeal recipe is amazing! It is hard to believe it is low calorie, etc and so tasty."
Cook for yourself. Offer to plan meals and cook for everyone a few nights a week.
Ask for the foods you would really like to eat. Buy some of your own food.

I lived with my parents as an adult. I bought some of my own groceries. I cooked for everyone often. They were usually willing to buy some stuff I liked and wanted. I didn't talk about their food choices and they didn't talk about mine.

Sunna_W

I don't know if you are able to do this, but, here is a link to the current USDA dietary guidelines: https://www.choosemyplate.gov/dietary-guidelines...

Maybe if you could show them that you are following USDA advice for portions and types of foods that may help?

Good luck with your parents!

imanibelle

Thanks, everybody. I'll try your advice, especially USDA advice, though with not many healthy ingredients I probably won't be cooking anyone dinner besides me. Noone else will want eggs and oatmeal for dinner lol. But I'll try the other advice.

vespiquenn

imanibelle wrote: »

Muscleflex79 wrote: »

imanibelle wrote: »

I give up. I don't think anyone understands what's frustrating me. It's just a dumb rant. Thanks to those who replied, but I'm out.

what kind of responses were you hoping for?? people told you to work with what you have while you are there...what else were you hoping to hear??

I didn't make this post to complain or ask what to do about the types of food that are available here. I know I need to make do with the food I have and I'm doing it gladly. I made this post as a vent because I'm frustrated that when I make efforts I'm told what I'm eating is unhealthy, but there are no healthier alternatives. I guess it makes me annoyed and doesnt make any sense to me. But whatever. Probably shouldn't have even posted.

There is a blog function of this website if you didn't want responses to your vent, just for future reference. Although you did get a lot of good advice moving forward.

Sometimes it's nice to get thoughts out in private. But that won't happen on a forum where others are free to reply. I wish you luck until you can move out.

Javagal2778

This sounds incredibly frustrating! The end of the month can't come soon enough for you!

brandyjones1991

He may be frustrated with himself for not doing something he knows he needs to do/wants to do and is projecting that on you. I sometimes do this to my husband when I'm frustrated with myself

Cbean08

Conversation
"Eggs, oatmeal, fish and rice aren't healthy."

"Dad, I've lost 60 lbs eating this way and I plan on losing more. It would be nice if you could support me instead of criticizing me. I didn't ask for your advice, I asked for support."

Tell him what you need. He might want to help but doesn't know how to.

Alatariel75

Sounds to me that Dad has put the "healthy eating" in the too hard basket and has decided that unless you're subsiding on steamed veg and fish, you aren't being healthy, so there's no point in even trying. He just projecting his issues on to you.

Healthy isn't an is or isn't proposition. It's a scale. And when you might not be able to hit "healthy", "healthiER" is a perfectly acceptable alternative. You've lost a tremendous amount of weight doing what you're doing, and that's done wonders for your body, even if you may stand to be getting in some more vitamins and nutrients and variety of foods.

Keep doing what you're doing, keep mastering the "uh-huh, Dad" and count down to the end of the month. Heck, he may eventually realise there's something to be learned from you.

VeronicaA76

There are people in this world that refuse to admit how unhealthy they truly are. Your dad sounds like one of them. His denial is then verbalized by justifying his dietary habits. Take some advice from the penguins of Madagascar: smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Ignore his commentary and just keep on doing the best you can.

Siran12001

My flat is being renovated and because of that I had to move back home for some weeks. I feel your frustration, I've had quite a few arguments with my parents and some good talks that cleared the air. I think, sometimes it's more healthy to really have an argument than to bottle everything up.

My situation is different from yours as I do have enough money to just buy food and my parents do eat quite well. It might be an idea to try and change just a bit of the food that is being bought. Both sides are not satisfied with what the other group is eating. Maybe you can compromise on something that you both agree on that is healthy that you can both integrate into your diet? Some kind of vegetable? Some lean meat?

The idea of cooking for the whole family is a good one, too. If you tell them, you want to cook on the next weekend, you can give them a list of things you need.