I no longer have anything to motivate me, but I haven't reached my goal weight.

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Replies

  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
    I feel the same way. I'm 20 lbs down and have 17 to go but I don't have any goals that excite me. I'm not super athletic. I don't do sports so there's this feeling of "what's the point" that is pervading my thoughts lately.

    I don't have any advice unfortunately, only sympathy.
  • VeronicaA76
    VeronicaA76 Posts: 1,116 Member
    Are you where you want to be? If not, that's your motivation.

    Do it for everyone that doubted you, prove them wrong.

    We all have periods of 'I just don't want to anymore', that's called being human, and that's okay. Instead of purly calorie watching, incorporate a sport, take up a physical activity. That activity alone will bump up your daily recommendation so you don't have to be as meticulous and you'll have fun.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    social media posts aren't reality...

    :noway:
  • WatchJoshLift
    WatchJoshLift Posts: 520 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    social media posts aren't reality...

    Fancy filters and Photoshop
  • kdbulger
    kdbulger Posts: 396 Member
    I started taking ballet lessons - yes, as an adult who had never done a pirouette in my life I starting taking ballet. And it required SO much flexibility and endurance and strength, so I started working on my fitness at home so I could be better in class. It turns out I needed something that you need to be fit to do, but didn't outwardly seem like a fitness goal.

    Maybe that would work for you?
  • GlassAngyl
    GlassAngyl Posts: 478 Member
    Then your goal should be a lifestyle change, not a reward system. You have nothing gratifying your pleasure sensors. Or, if you are satisfied with your health and body, just do maintenance. You don't have to be a stick to feel perfect.
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
    I suggest to do it for your "continued health forever!
  • laurenebargar
    laurenebargar Posts: 3,081 Member
    I was kind of feeling this way earlier, just kind of in a funk. It really helped me to compare some progress pictures. I saw how far I have come and it really re motivated me.

    I also agree with some of the posters about maybe taking a maintenance break
  • bonnielee708
    bonnielee708 Posts: 65 Member
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    I guess I am not good at explaining myself :(

    I don't enjoy sports. I hate competitiveness, against myself or with others. It's great for a lot of other people, but not me. It just gives me a lot of frustration and anxiety. I get the opposite of an adrenaline rush.

    My husband and I are not competitive people either, but we do like spending time together. We challenge each other to find new walks or hikes to do in the area. But one of the best things we ever did is learn to ice skate (he was 53 and I was 46 when we started). The rinks in British Columbia are open all year long, so you can skate in the summer, and your skills build so gradually we don't even realize you are working and toning muscles in your core and legs. Our goal is to be able to skate together on a lake if one ever freezes here again.

    The skating also triggered a desire in both of us to lose some of the weight we've gained with age. We do it together, plan meals and take turns finding new recipes. We have set our weight loss targets as goals with rewards for things we both want. For example, the new goal at home is to lose five pounds each so we can get a new set of kitchen knives. The five pounds after that...that cookbook we've been lusting over all year. We each had 25 pounds to lose and we are both nearly there.

    Not sure it's helpful, but you sound a lot like me when it comes to exercise, so I thought I'd share.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    edited August 2017
    VeronicaA76 wrote: »
    Are you where you want to be? If not, that's your motivation.

    Do it for everyone that doubted you, prove them wrong.

    We all have periods of 'I just don't want to anymore', that's called being human, and that's okay. Instead of purly calorie watching, incorporate a sport, take up a physical activity. That activity alone will bump up your daily recommendation so you don't have to be as meticulous and you'll have fun.

    Per my original post, I'm not into sports at all. I'm not a sports-oriented or athletically-oriented person.

    Right now at this point in my life I don't have this intrinsic motivation to reach my goal weight just because it's there. That's why I'm struggling with it :( I am looking for some sort of motivation. I just can't find anything that is relevant to me and this makes me feel like I'm completely lacking in something significant that most everyone else here seems to "get".

    Curiously, I don't really have a problem with the number of calories I'm consuming. I don't feel deprived or binge eat. I don't get many food cravings. I just lack any and all motivation right now to try harder because I don't have a goal to motivate me. Saying "I want to lose 20 lbs" doesn't motivate me right now because my thought process then goes to "what is the point? what would it prove?". I'm not going to be paid to do it. It's probably not going to make me super sexy or anything. My health is already pretty decent so it's not a matter of "lose 20 lbs or you die". Yes, my weight would be more solidly in the normal range, which does offer health benefits, but it's a small improvement over where I am now, not significant.


  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited August 2017
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    VeronicaA76 wrote: »
    Are you where you want to be? If not, that's your motivation.

    Do it for everyone that doubted you, prove them wrong.

    We all have periods of 'I just don't want to anymore', that's called being human, and that's okay. Instead of purly calorie watching, incorporate a sport, take up a physical activity. That activity alone will bump up your daily recommendation so you don't have to be as meticulous and you'll have fun.

    Per my original post, I'm not into sports at all. I'm not a sports-oriented or athletically-oriented person.

    I don't have this intrinsic motivation to reach my goal just because it's a goal. That's why I'm struggling with it :(

    So don't... what happens if you just don't do it....?
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    I never really get posts like this, but I will try to help if I can, OP.

    TBH, I haven't been ''motivated'' in months. In my mind, motivation has zip to do with my plans. I want to get down to healthy weight and I am going to get down to a healthy weight. I also want to be completely happy with how I look. I would say I'm mostly happy now, but I want my stomach to be flatter and my thighs to be smaller.

    The difference between maintenance and how many calories I eat now to lose weight is only a handful of calories so even though I'm not necessarily motivated I can't see any reasons to up my calories and stop now either. It isn't hard, I'm not suffering, and I still eat whatever I want just a little less than I'll be able to eat in maintenance.

    So I guess in my mind it isn't so much I'm motivated to keep going, but I don't see the sense in stopping now.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    kdbulger wrote: »
    I started taking ballet lessons - yes, as an adult who had never done a pirouette in my life I starting taking ballet. And it required SO much flexibility and endurance and strength, so I started working on my fitness at home so I could be better in class. It turns out I needed something that you need to be fit to do, but didn't outwardly seem like a fitness goal.

    Maybe that would work for you?

    I am waaaaaaay too uncoordinated and big-boned for ballet, LOL. There is a reason why I bellydance and don't pirouette. Unfortunately, ballet has never appealed to me.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    edited August 2017
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    WatchJoshLift wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    social media posts aren't reality...

    Fancy filters and Photoshop

    Yup...and also, nobody posts the "bad" stuff. If you take social media at face value, everyone is perfect and has the perfect life.

    I post on instagram all of the time...if people didn't know me and know better, they'd think I'm always out riding or rock climbing or hitting the gym or out hiking in the mountains or fishing and camping or traveling to some awesome place...

    I don't post pictures of me sitting on my *kitten* at work all day...or that ride that was crappy...or me sitting on the patio with a beer and a shot of tequila and my cigar. On social media like instagram, my kids are perfect little angels and we're all *kitten* rainbows at home...never mind losing my *kitten* with my 7 year old because he won't put on his *kitten* shoes to go to school and we're already late...

    it's people like you that make people like me hate social media :)

    I don't post anything on it for that reason alone... my life is not interesting enough to share with others. I just lurk... or used to lurk... I have been working on avoiding even doing that lately.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    edited August 2017
    bonnielee708 wrote: »
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    I guess I am not good at explaining myself :(

    I don't enjoy sports. I hate competitiveness, against myself or with others. It's great for a lot of other people, but not me. It just gives me a lot of frustration and anxiety. I get the opposite of an adrenaline rush.

    My husband and I are not competitive people either, but we do like spending time together. We challenge each other to find new walks or hikes to do in the area. But one of the best things we ever did is learn to ice skate (he was 53 and I was 46 when we started). The rinks in British Columbia are open all year long, so you can skate in the summer, and your skills build so gradually we don't even realize you are working and toning muscles in your core and legs. Our goal is to be able to skate together on a lake if one ever freezes here again.

    The skating also triggered a desire in both of us to lose some of the weight we've gained with age. We do it together, plan meals and take turns finding new recipes. We have set our weight loss targets as goals with rewards for things we both want. For example, the new goal at home is to lose five pounds each so we can get a new set of kitchen knives. The five pounds after that...that cookbook we've been lusting over all year. We each had 25 pounds to lose and we are both nearly there.

    Not sure it's helpful, but you sound a lot like me when it comes to exercise, so I thought I'd share.

    Thanks for sharing. I did learn to ice skate, along with my husband, but I don't really enjoy it that much. I mostly do it because it pleases him and he wants an activity partner.

    He wants to go really fast and get the heart pumping, but I prefer to just glide along and take it easy... and then he starts urging me and urging me to not be a slowpoke and speed up... feh :/

    How do you get yourself to stick to only buying things when you reach goals? I struggle with this, because theoretically, if I've got the money to buy something, I could do it whether I reach my goal or not :) If I don't reach my goal, I'm apt to buy that thing anyway just to make myself feel a little better.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    laurenebargar wrote: »
    I was kind of feeling this way earlier, just kind of in a funk. It really helped me to compare some progress pictures. I saw how far I have come and it really re motivated me.

    I also agree with some of the posters about maybe taking a maintenance break

    Yeah, that might work. I'm just in a major funk about all of it right now and feel like I'm completely lost at this point.
  • Kathryn247
    Kathryn247 Posts: 570 Member
    I'm in a similar spot - down 30, 20 to go, but okay with where I'm at. I just took a 2 week maintenance break (eating my maintenance level of calories instead of deficit level) and it was really strangely refreshing! I'm back at deficit this week, with or without any specific motivation, and feeling pretty good already in my new size 8 jeans. I think it's okay to not have any special motivation. This is a lifestyle change, like brushing your teeth every day, the motivation is just taking care of yourself. :)
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    rheddmobile wrote: »
    PrincessTinyheart wrote: »
    jennybearlv wrote: »
    Wow. This post is like looking straight into my own head. I wish I had a solution for you, because I'm stuck in the same rut. I still have 70 pounds to lose, but I can shop in regular stores now and am more fit than I've been since my teens. Other than being obese my health is fine. I know shooting for a healthy weight should be my motivation, but it is not inspiring me. I've basically been maintaining or losing and gaining the same ten pounds since March.

    Fitness goals are lousy for weight loss. They are too easy to attain with excess weight, because they are not size related. I do have a goal of looking good in clothes from Bebe, one of the few stores I am still too big for, but it's not enough to inspire me to lose.

    I wish I had an answer for you, but all I have is empathy for your situation.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one... and I almost feel like something of a failure because I see all of these other people that are all like "Get out and climb something! Build that six pack! Make a chart of goals and hit ALL. OF. THE. GOALS. Kill it kill it kill it!!", and that just makes me want to crawl into the fetal position, LOL. I feel like there's something lacking in me because I am not this fierce grrl taking selfies in the mirror and posting to Instragram :( But I still want some kind of inspiration to help me go further...

    I do understand this. Reading a book (or writing one) can be just as laudable a goal as running a 5k, but the enclosed world of fitness sometimes seems to regard all aspects of life other than working out and dieting as sins. There was an MFP blog article the other day about how to motivate yourself to work out during the summer which just depressed the hell out of me. One of the entries said something like, tempted to pick up a book or daydream while lying on a beach chair? Work out instead! NO THANK YOU, reading is not a "temptation," it's something which I do by choice which keeps me mentally fit as well as physically fit. Daydreaming while lying on a beach chair keeps me emotionally fit. Quiet moments of not going full speed ahead are not accidental. I choose them sometimes intentionally. Just yesterday a woman posted that she was afraid to try to lose weight because it meant turning down social engagements to find time to work out. Her post made me sad. Fitness is for life, not life for fitness.

    Can you maybe hit a happy medium where you are still moving gradually towards your final goal, but in a way which makes you happy day to day? Like, reset your weight loss to .5 lb /wk or something?

    Thank you for this. I am at a point in my life where I'm trying to discover who I am but not sure if I'm happy with what I'm finding out. Sadly, I'm 45, not 15. I'm supposed to have all of this figured out by now :( but instead I seem to be regressing. This really resonated with me.
  • loneda
    loneda Posts: 103 Member
    Maybe I'm projecting but I wonder if it is something like you hit a lower weight and learned that you didn't get happier and life didn't suddenly get better or easier. You are the same person you've always been, just lighter.

    I am motivated to hit my goal because I know how much better I feel about myself at that number. But external factors don't seem to change for me there, just internal ones. If you are already happy where you are and you don't have health problems, then why keep going? If it's not broke, don't fix it.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    loneda wrote: »
    Maybe I'm projecting but I wonder if it is something like you hit a lower weight and learned that you didn't get happier and life didn't suddenly get better or easier. You are the same person you've always been, just lighter.

    You may very well have a point. Aside from the fact that I'm wearing the same size, everything is the same.

  • melissaulmen
    melissaulmen Posts: 123 Member
    Find something that you love to do. Have you tried belly dancing videos, or other dance videos. Try some of the one's that are on YouTube. Zumba, I am not coordinated enough so I will only do it in my house.
    Yoga?
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    edited August 2017
    I'm already doing bellydancing - been doing it for several years now. I'm not a big fan of Zumba... to me there 's just no point. It's repetitive and the music doesn't do much for me. Yoga is much the same... it's relaxing, I guess, but aside from that I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to pursue it. it's just boring to me... holding the same poses over and over again for a really long time... :(

    I really do think there is something wrong with my brain. Maybe my endorphin level is so low that I don't get that "high" or whatever it is when other people exercise or play sports?
  • jennybearlv
    jennybearlv Posts: 1,519 Member
    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    I can understand not being motivated by sports. It's important to understand that not everyone has the same interests. In fact I understand it very well because I exercise for the food and for my mental health, that's it. I enjoy the high running gives me, but I have no plan or desire to run a marathon. I hate lifting so I don't lift. I believe nothing is wrong with me for not posting my instagram fitness photos or facebook updates with my fitness endeavors, in fact I don't even have an instagram account. I'm just not like some people, and some people are just not like me. That's how being human works. The sooner you accept that there is nothing wrong with you the sooner you will reach that head calm about who you are and what YOU want to do. Just do the things you enjoy, and lose weight if you want, don't lose it if you don't, or delay that decision altogether until you're in a more suitable position to make it.

    For what it's worth, I had a moment where I was just not willing to continue losing. I starting losing for my blood sugar and once that was sorted I was just not as keen on continuing, so I took a break. I was still obese, so I knew I needed to lose more, but I figured stressing over that tug-o-war between what I knew I needed to do and what I was willing to do was not worth it and was not going to get me results anyway. I maintained for a long time (about 8 months) before it clicked in my brain again and I decided to continue losing. I do not regret it for one second. If anything, I learned a lot about maintenance and it has given me hope that I am capable of maintaining and boosted my confidence. Even after that break my loss has been slow and intermittent. I lose a bit, maintain a bit, gain (on purpose) a bit, and in the end I'm making overall progress. I used to scold myself for not losing 100 lbs in a year like some success stories here, but I just had to accept that I'm not someone else and I'm happy with how I am and how I'm doing things. I'm in no rush, so any progress is progress. I'm just living life like I normally would at this point, with weight loss being part of it sometimes and other times not.

    Thank you for this post. This may not be my thread, but I am so glad I've read everything here. I've been telling myself the story that I had this awesome six months, then haven't been able to get back on that wagon for five months. Really demotivating. Looking at the last five months and realizing I've maintained the same weight within ten pounds is really amazing. I think I need to just keep doing what I'm doing and be ready when my motivation to lose shows up again. I see lots of success stories of people losing over 100 pounds a year and think that should be me. But, I also see success stories where people lose their weight over many years and I think I need to recognize how impressive those accomplishments are as well.
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    We are all in this together. Right now I'm playing the role of Eeyore... depressed Debbie Downer. But there's a lot of people here that are ready to offer ideas and suggestions anyway.

    Part of why I'm depressed about it is because I feel like I've let myself down, like everything that has happened up to this point on my journey has been led by lies and disillusionment. I didn't lose weight because I wanted to hike in the Grand Canyon or lower my cholesterol or improve my love life. I did it because I thought it would make me more attractive and happier. It was probably the most shallow, idiotic goal out there and that's the one I picked. Now that I realize that life doesn't really work that way, I don't know where to go next :neutral:
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