Can't control my eating, stay on a diet, or workout
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Don't wait around for motivation. Just do it.
Motivation isn't a blinding flash of light that solves everything. Motivation doesn't last.
You need habits.
Habits start with one thing.
Do one thing.
Then do another.
Keep doing things. Keep doing them some more.
Don't wait around for motivation. Just f****** do it.
And read the goddam stickies.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads
So much this! !2 -
You have one child.
Do you want the second? Then you will have to get healthier to have a healthy baby.
Are you not sure about the second child?
Go back one step. You have a child. It has one mother. You are important for your child and you are going to be their guide. Guide them onto the right way. Do it now. Be the mum that made the right choices. For you and for your family.6 -
The idea that worked best for me is some advice I received a long time ago for something completely different that I now give and fits multiple situations.
Don't look at this as a giant mountain to climb, or making 10,000 decisions. Look at it as the very next step and the very next decision. Don't focus on the ones after that.
To make it up that mountain, the next single decision is the most important. You can't make the one after that until you make the first one. You can't dwell on the previous one because it has no (or very little) bearing on the next one.
Make each single decision based on whether it aligns with your goals. If you make a bad one, make the next one right. If you can't charge straight up the mountain, use "switchbacks". It may take longer, but you'll progress and you'll do what you're capable of.
Sorry for the corny word-pictures,5 -
Maybe you should start with walking more each day- get a Fitbit or I watch and track your steps daily- exercise is not easy to just jump into but if you ease into it by being more active that's a good start- as far as the over eating- we all are or at least have been there and small steps there too- track what you eat and stay below the MFP calorie intake- if you feel hungry all the time cut the carbs and bulk up on veggies and fruit- just a few suggestions
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Stop depending on motivation. Willpower is a hard to find resource. Change habits so default is healthy.
It takes 3 weeks for a habit to stick
First change habit is log everything you eat before you eat it.
Then once that is habit look at logs can you say swit change regular soda for diet or otherwise make an easy change that would decrease calories.2 -
I have an issue with over eating too. To the point of feeling sick. Over the last year of diet and maintaining and then dieting again (taking the slow weight loss method) I just recently realized I only have the urge to over eat when I eat high sugary, high fat and high carb foods. I've cut out most sugar and the high fat/carb stuff and eat more cleaner whole foods and that desire to stuff my face ALWAYS goes away. I also have more energy to work out which...I absolutely hate but going walking is a good way to start. It's super effective especially for beginners and it doesn't feel like exercise. It's really about small changes at a time but eating the good stuff is always #1.2
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There are quite a number of suggestions here from many people. Hopefully some of them resonated with you and sound like something which would work for you. At the end of the day, that's what matters, finding what works FOR YOU.
I struggled with the same thing and I can tell you what worked for me: starting with small goals I KNEW were achievable so I would meet my goals, and then increasing to do more.
A little back story: I had been successful before at getting in shape by consistently tracking what I ate and exercising. My son was very sick for several years and while I made caring for him I priority, I got off my routine and gained a lot of weight. I dreaded starting to exercise again, because I didn't want to see how much strength and endurance I had actually lost. And it was easy to put off eating right in the process. In some ways my past success was a hindrance. I knew from past experience that I would eventually become fit after I started, so I could always start tomorrow and eat what I want today.
So one day I just decided to do it. I just said, to myself screw it, I am getting on the elliptical which hasn't been used for years. I don't care how out of shape I am, I am sure I can ride it for 5 minutes. No matter how well or poorly I am doing, I will stop after 5 minutes and I will increase by a minute each day. For me, that was a very low bar. Something I was certain I could do. Knowing that the goal was very low made it possible for me to start. It allowed me to focus on the success of getting started and not the disappointment of not being able to do what I used to.
That was in March. Now I am on the Elliptical for and hour a day on some days. Others I ride twice for 40 minutes.
It was easier for me to resume eating in a more healthy way and I didn't need to take as many incremental steps, but that isn't really the point. We each have our own challenges and need to discover whatever we can to overcome them. You are the only person who can try to figure out what is standing in your way and how to get past it.
Folks here are finding their way. You can, too, and you are on the right path coming to seek suggestions. Keep trying until you find what works for you.7 -
As already stated, you have to want it. Which it seems you do, at least on the surface. Next is implementing small and sustainable changes that bring you closer to where you need to be. Forget external motivation, it's fleeting and not reliable. Build these changes in behavior & mindset into something that you simply do without needing to be motivated, like paying bills, cutting the grass, getting a haircut. It's a task that needs done.6
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So I am sure if you look at my history I am often posting about the same subject, but as you can see nothing has changed. I am now at 210lbs at only 5'3 and continue to eat horribly and a lot. I never workout all I know how to do is talk about it and then complain how fat I am. I wanna loose weight for myself, my family, and so I can have a baby with my husband. It will be my second but first with him. What is it going to take to get me off my *kitten* and to actually do something. I am open to any suggestions for workouts, motivation, diets, just about anything! I have about 55lbs to loose.
Imma get all deep here. You need to find your "Why". This applies to anything in life; career, family, etc. If you identify your "Why", that will keep you on track. Some generic potential "Why's" for example:
- To look good for SO (or even yourself)
- To have more confidence
- To fit clothes you don't fit anymore
- To live longer
- To feel better physically and mentally
- To be a good example to your kids/family
Motivation is temporary. Yes, we need it but you really need a deeper reason. When you find it, choosing a chicken sandwich over a cheeseburger and fries or skipping dessert or whatever will be easy because the choice is ACTUALLY about being a good example/having more confidence/whateveryoufindasyourwhy. Hope that helps!1 -
Just start walking. Then gradually increase your time. Eventually you will want to do more types of excercise.I have a Fitbit and it greatly motivates me.. then just start logging. Eat back your excercise calories or at least some of them. Make a promise to yourself to log everything even if you go over. I have been doing this and realized even when I felt like I was eating the house down I didn't do as bad as I thought... if I hadn't of logged I probably would have eaten much more...because mentally I felt like " well I didn't log , so Idk how much I have gone over.. may as well eat till im stuffed and start again tomorrow" logging keeps me from doing that because no matter how bad I think I've over eaten it's never as bad as I think. I like to look at my diary over the course of a week instead of daily... that also helps me mentally too. Starting out with baby steps will encourage you to do more. I started out like you unmotivated, but I'm on a 69 day streak of logging and I have lost 8 pounds. Just keep going.0
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Just start walking. Then gradually increase your time. Eventually you will want to do more types of excercise.I have a Fitbit and it greatly motivates me.. then just start logging. Eat back your excercise calories or at least some of them. Make a promise to yourself to log everything even if you go over. I have been doing this and realized even when I felt like I was eating the house down I didn't do as bad as I thought... if I hadn't of logged I probably would have eaten much more...because mentally I felt like " well I didn't log , so Idk how much I have gone over.. may as well eat till im stuffed and start again tomorrow" logging keeps me from doing that because no matter how bad I think I've over eaten it's never as bad as I think. I like to look at my diary over the course of a week instead of daily... that also helps me mentally too. Starting out with baby steps will encourage you to do more. I started out like you unmotivated, but I'm on a 69 day streak of logging and I have lost 8 pounds. Just keep going.
I too found logging the answer - even if I'm on holiday, I log everything (sometimes its difficult when eating unfamiliar foods to work out what to log it as, so I usually go for about the middle of the calorie suggestions). So I know I've gone over, but its surprising by how little some days, as not only does logging stop me from having 4 biscuits instead of 2, I also add in my exercise calories from walking - sightseeing can burn a surprising amount, even walking very slowly, if you're walking for 2 hours or more!2 -
If you are on a gaining streak feeling like you have no control over your behavior, it's really hard to turn that immediately into losing.
My advice is to first focus on stopping the weight gain.
Once when you feel comfortable there, do more cuts.
Last December I was at my weight peek. I was gaining weight gradually for months and I felt like I have nothing under control. I had even started running, but I had no control over my eating, I was constantly hungry and constantly eating all the time.
I was so afraid of that lack of control, I was worried that my gain is never gonna stop.
Then I made a decision to set up a challenge for myself to cut off cakes and sweets for one year (New Year was coming and I used it as a trigger point). At the point I didn't have any weight loss plans, I just wanted to stop that gain. At first it was really tough. My sugar levels were having a rodeo. I would try to compensate sweets with other kind of foods. But after a while I started to feel calmer and at one point I felt that I got my satiation signals back.
Then I tried to eliminate snacks between meals, to create a habit of having a proper meals instead of constant snacks.
It took me about 3 months to go from that first decision of eliminating junk food to a decision to work on loosing weight. I probably have lost some weight during that 3 months, but I haven't weighted myself at the time so I don't know for sure.
So, what I am trying to say - when we let ourselves go for some periods of time, it's not always easy to find courage, determination and consistency at one, single moment.
For some people it does happen like that, like a trigger from the sky, but for most of us it doesn't.
You need to give yourself time to build up ability to commit and to stay consistent. And the best way to do that is as others have already said - with small, but significant changes.
Make today any good decision, like doing a short daily walk, or eliminating sweets, or no snacking after dinner or eating a veggie with your main meals etc. Just one. Reflect a bit on it - how can you do it, what is the most challenging part, how can you help yourself with it, who can you ask for help, etc... and try to stick with it for a while.
Once when you feel proud and that you can do it, the rest will be much easier.
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All great advice above. Go for it, you are worth it to be the best you! Hugs0
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Eat less or stay overweight. Those are your choices, pick one.5
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Baby steps......don't try to do everything at once......don't expect perfection.
I always had a new years resolution to lose weight, and always failed. I gave up when I screwed up, vowing to start over. DON"T start over.....continue. It's a little bit of a different mind set. 2 steps forward and 1 step back is still progress.
I made a different new years resolution......eat more vegetables. That helped me get rid of some junk, no chips at lunch for example.
Exercise was a small (obtainable) goal of 60 minutes per week. 2x30, 3x20, 4x15.....whatever. Google short YouTube workouts and MARK A CALENDAR. Be accountable, buy some cute stickers to mark the days if that helps. After exercise becomes the "norm" and you start to feel more fit, add more time. Find workouts that are fun to you.
Change your habits one at a time.0 -
You have to want it bad enough for it to work. That's the crux of the problem., to be honest. I don't think you want it bad enough, I don't think it's more important to you than your vices.3
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simple...Every step forward gets you a step forward, A step back gets you a step back...And a step nowhere gets you nowhere
Just try to take more steps forward and eventually youll get there. Youll get nowhere doing nothing, And youll end up further behind if you keep taking steps back.
No need to complicate it, Just step forward ^_^ Its been laid out here by the lovely experienced people how to take the steps, Just a way to think about it. Its not all or nothing. Just steps.
eat less at a meal...step forward
eat a healthier option over a less healthy option....Step forward
a day at your calorie goal...Step forward
a walk at lunch? Step step step
1 day above your calories...Step back, But if youve taken many steps forward your still ahead of where you are now. Don't stress it.5 -
You know what the problem is and that's your mind set. You know what to do technically so no technical whizbang like a specific diet is going to fix what's wrong. The only thing that will fix what's wrong is to change your mind. Sometimes (and seemingly some people more than others), we can change our minds. Sometimes we can't without help. You may need help. You need new personal psychological tools. A combination of counseling, emotional-self-care, reading, etc., can definitely help. It's damned hard to change your belief structures but it can be done. Right now, you believe you can't do what's necessary to loose weight. You must start to believe you can.1
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So I am sure if you look at my history I am often posting about the same subject, but as you can see nothing has changed. I am now at 210lbs at only 5'3 and continue to eat horribly and a lot. I never workout all I know how to do is talk about it and then complain how fat I am. I wanna loose weight for myself, my family, and so I can have a baby with my husband. It will be my second but first with him. What is it going to take to get me off my *kitten* and to actually do something. I am open to any suggestions for workouts, motivation, diets, just about anything! I have about 55lbs to loose.
I started at 230lbs and I was the exact same way. I constantly complained about being fat I was so depressed and angry with myself. I would always be asking myself "why am I this way?". Yet I kept eating everything I saw.
Every time I tried to lose weight it was the same thing. I would start working out, get burnt out and give up. So this time I DIDN'T START WORKING OUT. All I did was change my eating habits. Signing up for a site like MyFitnessPal is the first step! Count your calories. I would sit on my couch for 18 hours a day BUT I stopped eating anything bad for me. Alcohol was out, chips were out, candy, pop, fast food. For me baby steps were not going to work. I had to go big or go home. I lost 20 pounds doing absolutely no exercise and being strict with counting. This happened all in a month. I saw results and that's all the motivation I needed to keep going.
Now, I'm a little more slack with what I eat because I move a bit more. Chips, candy, and pop are still out completely but I'll enjoy a glass of wine or 2, I'll eat fries if it fits into my calories (no fastfood tho).
I've lost a little over 40 pounds so far. I have 50 more to lose.
My advice to you, if your problem is getting off your *kitten* (as mine was).. just worry about your diet for now. I am extremely lazy. When I'm not working I'm sitting on my couch on my laptop and I'm still losing weight.
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Change is hard. Instead of losing focus by trying to do everything at once. Start with one problem and work on it, then go to the next.
Start with nutrition, as it's key to true long term results. Set a modest goal and slowly arrange your diet to beat suit your needs. Instead of just removing food, swap food. Something as simple as going from dark meat chicken to light. Cut out some condiments, particularly mayo and some cheese; eliminate if you're okay with that, cut in half if you know you're going to start craving it. If you like salsa, go nuts with it instead of other high calorie topping/condiments. Salsa is low in calories and huge in flavor.
Instead of going headlong into a workout routine that is drained you, start with just taking a 30 minute walk every day. Then go from there.
Permanent results require a lifestyle change, not a diet. Make small changes and over time those changes become your habits.
Small changes will lead to huge results.
Best of luck, just don't give up.1
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