Have an adult son that still lives at home, refuses to get a job, has a very serious weight problem.

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  • WorkerDrone83
    WorkerDrone83 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    I think it's past time to cut the umbilical cord. My favourite is the part about him clogging the sink. Seems like a minute little detail, but it must have really hit a nerve since you bring it up after all these years.
  • willboywonder
    willboywonder Posts: 135 Member
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    I think his health issues compound his inability to seek and find work. If he refuses to comply with his psychiatrist's treatment, I recommend you go to the courts and see if you can have him committed to an inpatient program, perhaps to a state mental health facility. It's a hard decision, but I think in the long run that would be best for your son. Refusing to take his medication is not a healthy decision.
  • WorkerDrone83
    WorkerDrone83 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    Renaissance_Turtle wrote: »
    Here's my advice bag up everything he owns along with the BS story. Drop him, the stuff & the BS story off under then nearest bridge full of homeless people & tell him to use his belongings to trade for food. Sink or swim.



    jr2184dd6ffl.png


    Lol. "I don't even have a son named Chris. It was me!"
  • asviles
    asviles Posts: 56 Member
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    Cut the internet and let him know he doesn't get it back until he takes his meds. Let him have his freakout moments, let him break stuff and get angry, but make it clear that there is only one way he gets his video games and skype friends back. Make him the alternative of paying for the internet himself if he wants to get a job. Either way you win. Boy needs his meds.
  • LittleLionHeart1
    LittleLionHeart1 Posts: 3,655 Member
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    Joanna2012B wrote: »
    amandacalories wrote: »
    You wrote in another post that you're 29 years old? Sooooo little confused here

    Yup...saw the same thing! Interesting!!

    Yes. Your right. "Retro gamer." Do you think he's talking about his own issues? Intresting is right. :)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    HyeKarma wrote: »
    Joanna2012B wrote: »
    amandacalories wrote: »
    You wrote in another post that you're 29 years old? Sooooo little confused here

    Yup...saw the same thing! Interesting!!

    Yes. Your right. "Retro gamer." Do you think he's talking about his own issues? Intresting is right. :)

    :trollface:
  • laurenebargar
    laurenebargar Posts: 3,081 Member
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    ljmorgi wrote: »
    Does OP also have a daughter who's dating an older man who doesn't respect her dad?

    I was thinking the exact same thing
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    ljmorgi wrote: »
    Does OP also have a daughter who's dating an older man who doesn't respect her dad?

    :laugh:
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    I had a friend in high school whose mother threw her and all her stuff out when she turned 18. She survived and now has no contact with her mother.
    I have a daughter who moved out on her 18th birthday with all her stuff and now has no contact with her mother.

    You can't be nice enough to make his life good. He's got to do it himself and if it has to go through a rough patch, it has to because he decided it would. Quit paying his way.
  • born_of_fire74
    born_of_fire74 Posts: 776 Member
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    138shades wrote: »
    born_of_fire74 wrote: »
    138shades wrote: »
    born_of_fire74 wrote: »
    The first step is to stop thinking of a 37 y/o man as a "kid." He's not a child; he's an adult regardless of his mental illness and you aren't doing him any favours by enabling him to live this way.

    his mental age isn't 37.

    OP made no mention of disability. As a 42 y/o woman with a very similar diagnosis (bipolar with severe depression), I can assure you that bipolar disorder does not impair your mental age or cognitive abilities. With proper care and medication, one can even lead a fairly normal life. It definitely doesn't mean that you should live in your parents' basement forever, never get a job, never take care of yourself and be hurtful to your loved ones.

    OP seems to think getting his son into a group home where he can learn to live a productive life will be harming him somehow. They "could never do that to him." My point is that they need to consider what they are doing to him now by allowing him to live the life he currently is. It seems pretty harmful even though they aren't doing it maliciously.

    Having difficult children is difficult. I know. I have my own issues and my son was quite a handful for his own reasons. I don't mean to be hurtful to OP. His intentions are obviously well-meaning but even he knows things aren't working out as is--that's why he's here exasperated and seeking advice. I wish him best of luck in a really tough situation.

    I can tell you as a psychologist and a family therapist you listen to people like me. Not everyone is affected the same. Don't try to tell me something I have license and 5 degrees in and you pay to see people in my field. His cognitive ability relates to his dependence on his mom which she inhibited him l. Schizoaffective isn't bipolar. Read a little more.

    I'm curious how you would know anything about the relationship with the mother based on the information provided that makes no mention of the mother other than to say OP and his wife (who may not even be the "mom") don't want to put him in a group home? I'm sorry but no medical practitioner I know offers an opinion based on 2 paragraphs and no medical practitioner I've encountered offers any sort of advice in a public forum; these are highly unprofessional behaviours.

    Luckily, this appears to be some sort of hoax. I won't be adding anything further to this discussion. Good day.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    this went well!
  • Chase_The_Pain
    Chase_The_Pain Posts: 255 Member
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    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »
    amandacalories wrote: »
    You wrote in another post that you're 29 years old? Sooooo little confused here

    busted2_w640.jpeg


    @retro_gamer On top of being busted for not keep your stories straight, my guess is your over 60 years yet your name here is Retro Gamer? And your son is a gamer? Apple fall far from the tree?

    My mom is 70 and plays "The Division" on Xbox. It breaks my heart every time she tells me about some little kid screaming at her telling her how bad she stinks at the game.

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