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Does your doctor comment on your weight?
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wow, @MacLowCarbing
Thanks for telling that story, and I'm really glad you are on the mend. :flowerforyou:1 -
I saw my Dr. In March. She prescribed a new blood pressure pill, a statin for cholesterol. Next time I saw her was September. I lost 40 lbs during that time. The nurse didn't mention it when she weighed me. The Dr. didn't mention it in the 30 minutes we talked. Just talked about blood pressure. Other people are noticing. Other people are mentioning it.
What's up?
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Not directly. If I see a specialist they usually write in their letter that I'm petite. Across a table they only see my slim face I guess. I mean, I'm not overweight but carry a lot of weight on my lower body.0
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Several years ago, I went to the doctor with fatigue, ankle pain, and pitting edema. She said "You're just fat". Just like that. I went to another doctor and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Which causes weight gain.
Recently, my doctor, mentioned I have a vitamin deficiency. I took it has away for her telling me I need to eat healthier. So I'm here to lose some weight by eat fewer calories each day without intentionally restricting any nutrients.0 -
I've struggled with depression through Covid. I put on 25 pounds and I was already overweight BEFORE the 25 pounds more.
I talked to my doctor about my mood several times and my weight. She finally told me to destress and gave me a pre-printed pamphlet on portion control. She never brought either up again or followed up with me on either. I put on 10 more pounds.
She constantly pushes me to get a colonoscopy even though I have no family history and no issues. My chances of colon cancer with no family history and no symptoms is 3-7%. It's not a horrible idea, but she ignores things that really worry me. My chance of long-term heart and kidney issues from the weight problem AND a family history of genetic high blood pressure...is a heck of a lot higher than 3%.
And switching doctors doesn't really help--the last two were the same.
So even if you bring up your weight, you may not get any help.
The same with depression.
It's frustrating. If you have a good doctor, hang onto them.
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I agree totally. Doctors hounded me and hounded me about colonoscopy. I said no, but I'd do Cologard. I've been seeing the same dr. for a year. She finally agreed. Did it. Peace. Still hounding me about blood pressure. Average at home is 114/70, but have some serious white coat.1
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@loulee997 I understand the frustration and the difficulty of your situation, believe me. Out of curiosity what kind of help are you looking for? I ask because, from what I understand, doctors aren’t really experts on weight loss, although they should know how to provide a source for you to receive help. Can you call and ask for a referral to a dietitian? If they’re still not helpful, I would look into some in your area with great reviews. I think working closely with a dietician and psychologist might be the most effective. I’m sorry you’re being ignored, you deserve so much better than that.2
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@loulee997 If you’re in the US, many insurance companies do not require a referral from your doctor to see a mental health therapist. Search for ‘counselors’ or ‘psychologists’ or ‘behavioral healthcare’ on your insurance company’s website for an in-network provider. Then, see if any of the therapists have a website and find out more information about the services they offer. Also, if you don’t have insurance or have difficulty paying due to a high deductible or other, check out local non-profits that offer a food pantry/job training/etc. They may offer free counseling or know if therapists that do. Don’t think that it is just in the larger cities, it is true for my (very) rural area.
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@loulee997 I understand the frustration and the difficulty of your situation, believe me. Out of curiosity what kind of help are you looking for? I ask because, from what I understand, doctors aren’t really experts on weight loss, although they should know how to provide a source for you to receive help. Can you call and ask for a referral to a dietitian? If they’re still not helpful, I would look into some in your area with great reviews. I think working closely with a dietician and psychologist might be the most effective. I’m sorry you’re being ignored, you deserve so much better than that.
It was more a combination of depression and weight gain. I was hoping to get a mild anti-depressant to just help me through a dark time in my life. I was also hoping if I got the crying and mood swings under control, I could get back to exercise and control my food intake. Since I also have a family history of thyroid disease and auto-immune--I also wanted to be sure it was tied to something physical. The year before, I went through six months when my hair was falling out by the handful. She wasn't helpful with any of these issues. My hair was falling out. My scalp couldn't be touched it was so painful. She told me it was stress. Ugh. Doctors.
I tried the therapist route. I needed meds. Most of the therapists in my area are psychologists, counselors, or social workers. They can't prescribe meds. So therapist told me meds and to talk to my GP. My GP tells me to meditate.
Now I pay out of pocket for an online prescribing psychiatric nurse to work with my therapist and get me the meds I need. Insurance will cover (partially) 12 visits a year to a therapist. It will not cover both a therapist and a prescribing person for therapy. We are still working on dose--so once that is right, I will only have to pay for the prescriber every 3 months instead of monthly.
It's a couple of extra $100s a month that I really don't want to spend.
I'm doing better. It was just more work than I needed it to be. I was really struggling and they made it so much harder.
T
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MaggieGirl135 wrote: »@loulee997 If you’re in the US, many insurance companies do not require a referral from your doctor to see a mental health therapist. Search for ‘counselors’ or ‘psychologists’ or ‘behavioral healthcare’ on your insurance company’s website for an in-network provider. Then, see if any of the therapists have a website and find out more information about the services they offer. Also, if you don’t have insurance or have difficulty paying due to a high deductible or other, check out local non-profits that offer a food pantry/job training/etc. They may offer free counseling or know if therapists that do. Don’t think that it is just in the larger cities, it is true for my (very) rural area.
Counselors and psychologists cannot prescribe meds. in my area, most are family therapists, drug therapists, or pastoral. I went thru two or three until I found a decent one. She is an okay therapist--although she also agrees that I have a chemical imbalance and need meds. She said 'talk to my GP'. She wrote my GP a letter. I got brochures on meditation from my GP. I finally hired a prescribing psychiatric nurse online and she works with my therapist. It costs a lot out of pocket, but it's working.
I used to try to get a better GP--but Kentucky is a pain.
No worries, I found a way around it. But they made it so much harder than it needed to be. I'm in an okay place. I'm lucky I could afford to pay for the prescribing therapist and the cost difference on the regular therapist. And my GP office visit costs. Health care ---what can you do...
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@loulee997 I understand the frustration and the difficulty of your situation, believe me. Out of curiosity what kind of help are you looking for? I ask because, from what I understand, doctors aren’t really experts on weight loss, although they should know how to provide a source for you to receive help. Can you call and ask for a referral to a dietitian? If they’re still not helpful, I would look into some in your area with great reviews. I think working closely with a dietician and psychologist might be the most effective. I’m sorry you’re being ignored, you deserve so much better than that.
It was more a combination of depression and weight gain. I was hoping to get a mild anti-depressant to just help me through a dark time in my life. I was also hoping if I got the crying and mood swings under control, I could get back to exercise and control my food intake. Since I also have a family history of thyroid disease and auto-immune--I also wanted to be sure it was tied to something physical. The year before, I went through six months when my hair was falling out by the handful. She wasn't helpful with any of these issues. My hair was falling out. My scalp couldn't be touched it was so painful. She told me it was stress. Ugh. Doctors.
I tried the therapist route. I needed meds. Most of the therapists in my area are psychologists, counselors, or social workers. They can't prescribe meds. So therapist told me meds and to talk to my GP. My GP tells me to meditate.
Now I pay out of pocket for an online prescribing psychiatric nurse to work with my therapist and get me the meds I need. Insurance will cover (partially) 12 visits a year to a therapist. It will not cover both a therapist and a prescribing person for therapy. We are still working on dose--so once that is right, I will only have to pay for the prescriber every 3 months instead of monthly.
It's a couple of extra $100s a month that I really don't want to spend.
I'm doing better. It was just more work than I needed it to be. I was really struggling and they made it so much harder.
T
Okay, this makes perfect sense! Obviously not making recommendations for you specifically but Wellbutrin has been the most helpful in dealing with my “stuff” and the concurrent weight concerns. Might be a worthwhile conversation if it hasn’t been already? Sometimes medication is the answer when nothing else helps. Dr. Says is great resource I’ve used for years! Hopefully you get some other options, but I wanted to provide what’s working for me.1 -
@loulee997 I understand the frustration and the difficulty of your situation, believe me. Out of curiosity what kind of help are you looking for? I ask because, from what I understand, doctors aren’t really experts on weight loss, although they should know how to provide a source for you to receive help. Can you call and ask for a referral to a dietitian? If they’re still not helpful, I would look into some in your area with great reviews. I think working closely with a dietician and psychologist might be the most effective. I’m sorry you’re being ignored, you deserve so much better than that.
It was more a combination of depression and weight gain. I was hoping to get a mild anti-depressant to just help me through a dark time in my life. I was also hoping if I got the crying and mood swings under control, I could get back to exercise and control my food intake. Since I also have a family history of thyroid disease and auto-immune--I also wanted to be sure it was tied to something physical. The year before, I went through six months when my hair was falling out by the handful. She wasn't helpful with any of these issues. My hair was falling out. My scalp couldn't be touched it was so painful. She told me it was stress. Ugh. Doctors.
I tried the therapist route. I needed meds. Most of the therapists in my area are psychologists, counselors, or social workers. They can't prescribe meds. So therapist told me meds and to talk to my GP. My GP tells me to meditate.
Now I pay out of pocket for an online prescribing psychiatric nurse to work with my therapist and get me the meds I need. Insurance will cover (partially) 12 visits a year to a therapist. It will not cover both a therapist and a prescribing person for therapy. We are still working on dose--so once that is right, I will only have to pay for the prescriber every 3 months instead of monthly.
It's a couple of extra $100s a month that I really don't want to spend.
I'm doing better. It was just more work than I needed it to be. I was really struggling and they made it so much harder.
T
Okay, this makes perfect sense! Obviously not making recommendations for you specifically but Wellbutrin has been the most helpful in dealing with my “stuff” and the concurrent weight concerns. Might be a worthwhile conversation if it hasn’t been already? Sometimes medication is the answer when nothing else helps. Dr. Says is a great resource I’ve used for years! Hopefully, you get some other options, but I wanted to provide what’s working for me.
It was one of the first ones I tried. I had a horrible reaction to Wellbutrin--both versions. It made me sleep 22 hours and made me super irritable. For most people, Wellbutrin gives you focus and energy. For me, it made me exhausted and extremely irritable. Finally was diagnosed with moderate chronic depression and adult ADHD. Taking a low dose of ADHD meds has helped with a lot of the symptoms. We're still working on finding the right depression meds.
But I'm doing better. All my sisters and half my nieces/nephews are on anti-depressants. Genetic.
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When I was a kid my Dr (pediatric) would always comment on my weight at every visit. I remember being so sensitive to talk to her about it and would even get emotional at times.
The moment I got older and transitioned to a new dr from then on they never talked or even mentioned anything about my weight. Even up to this day I still have this mindset with how my Dr is going to bring up the weight topic because of my experience as a kid.2 -
When I was morbidly obese, every doctor I saw brought up my weight. Prior to my ankle surgery I had an anaesthesiologist give me what he clearly thought was ‘tough love’, but what was actually bullying that left me in tears in the appointment and unable to eat for days afterwards. None of them ever explored why I was so overweight, they all just told me to eat less.
After I lost over half my body mass and entered the ‘normal’ BMI category for the first time in my life, I realised I had issues with disordered eating and asked for help for my probable BED. At which point I was told I had to be either underweight or morbidly obese to be referred to a therapist.
I’m a bit cynical about doctors these days.11 -
The only doctor that commented on my weight was when I was at a community college. I got annoyed with her because I had already lost 15kg and was halfway to a healthy weight. I guess she hadn't met me before. I've been much heavier since and they only talk about my weight if I mention it first (I think).0
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Went to the Dr. Today. She still didn't mention my 45 pound weight loss, but the nurse did notice that another Dr.'s office listed my height as 5'8", not 5'10" like they had listed. She asked how tall I am. I told her 5'8". We'll see if she changes it.0
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My previous doctor did, in a very negative way that has hurtful. I went to him to deal with a stomach issue that was causing vomiting and nausea. I told him that I had been unable to keep anything down and had lost 8 pounds in a week. He told me that was a good thing...6
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I think society as a whole has lost its bearings around food/weight and needs to recollect itself- give it time- maybe one day professional weight opinions will make sense/be based in reality- maybe not, I'm not going to hold my breath- don't use them as a weapon against yourself if you're that way inclined- they're not trauma informed- they don't really have our interests at heart- they're short w/ people so be discerning1
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I disagree.
I think " proffesional weight opinions" are based on reality ( ie sensible evidenced guidelines) and do make sense.
And I do think your doctor has your best interests at heart.
Whether they are short with people depends on their personal style - obviously medical profesional are human and have human variation, like everyone else.3 -
My doctor recently told me she could tell by looking at me that I’d lost weight since the last time I saw her. She’s happy my health is improving. She’s encouraging in my efforts and offers sound advice if I ask her any weight loss questions. She’s terrific. She tells me encouraging stories of other patients of hers that have improved their health through weight loss.
The only time she indirectly referred to my weight previously was about a year ago and she said she has other patients like me I.e. hbp ,cholesterol, etc. that have strokes or heart attacks. She never said anything about my weight, but I got the message that I was heading for a disaster. Soon after she diagnosed me with diabetes. I smartened up.5 -
one of my big "Dad" speeches to my son was this
You will find very few people in life who truly love you and show you love. These are people like your mom and I and some of the very special friends and family members to whom you are close. There will not be many like this. On the other hand, you will encounter truly evil people who will go out of their way to make you their victim in one way or another. Thankfully, you'll encounter very few of these as well. To the other 99.999% of the world....YOU DON'T MATTER!! They may not seek to harm you, but they won't go out of their way to help you unless there is something in it for them.
I've found these percentages to be pretty true in real life. Of the pastors, and business owners, cops, teachers....and yes doctors....there are some good ones..some really evil ones....and the vast majority who will do nothing for you unless compelled to do so.
The only one looking out for my health is me. It helps to remember that 1/2 the doctors out there are below average.
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To answer the OP, no they don’t. I’m in the range where they’re not too concerned. However, if I have concerns that are weight related in anyway I would hope they would speak up. I don’t think my personal feelings have anything to do with my medical issues. Hopefully they would treat me like a human being though, that’s the case in most situations. Meaning, present facts in a respectful way.
For every villain in your story remember you, too, might be the villain in their story. We always think other people are so quick to take advantage of us, or don’t take the time to appreciate our concerns, but it’s never “us”, it’s always “them”.
They are not inherently bad because they don’t do what we want them to do. That’s our responsibility. And we can’t always do what others want. That’s their responsibility. But what we can do is be kind to each other and provide resources when they’re available. Apart from that, don’t expect anyone to fix for you what you can fix yourself. It doesn’t make anyone the villain or the savior. Spend less time judging others and more time reflecting on what you can do and who you are to those that matter.
Lastly, don’t ask a plumber to do an electricians job ie a medical doctor to be your therapist. That’s not fair. Seek the guidance of a professional that is qualified. Doctors are not “God”. And take responsibility when it is your problem to solve. There is no magic pill, words, diets, or religions. You have to do the work.
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I had a minor outpatient surgery on Wednesday. A junior "Resident" was going to do it, right beforehand a senior "Attending" physician walked in to verify the setup. He said to me "You are a big one." before he started talking to the Jr. physician on how to slice me open.To answer the OP, no they don’t. I’m in the range where they’re not too concerned.5 -
chris_in_cal wrote: »
I had a minor outpatient surgery on Wednesday. A junior "Resident" was going to do it, right beforehand a senior "Attending" physician walked in to verify the setup. He said to me "You are a big one." before he started talking to the Jr. physician on how to slice me open.To answer the OP, no they don’t. I’m in the range where they’re not too concerned.
This is what I mean. There’s no reason to ever treat someone like an object. I’m sorry that happened to you, even a little mad tbh.4 -
Lastly, don’t ask a plumber to do an electricians job ie a medical doctor to be your therapist. That’s not fair. Seek the guidance of a professional that is qualified. Doctors are not “God”.This is what I mean. There’s no reason to ever treat someone like an object.
Hmmm.... Well, TBH, I am sort of sorry for Chris having to put up with the comment. But. BUT. remembering your plumber and electrician. Not all doctors are equal!
If I have a choice of a great surgeon WITH bedside manners vs a great surgeon WITHOUT, sure I would pick the one WITH. HOWEVER, If I have the choice of a good surgeon WITH bedside manner vs a great surgeon WITHOUT, I am not so sure that I wouldn't go WITHOUT
And I hope that Chris is recovering well!2 -
I think the problem is that a lot of us attach our value to our appearance ie if we’re fat we’re somehow not worthy. And advertising or how we are treated in some parts of society etc can certainly reinforce that. But being fat - or being too thin - does actually have health repercussions. As does too little exercise. Those aren’t value judgements and should absolutely have nothing to do with our self worth. But as they have health implications, I do think doctors should raise them (same as drinking and smoking). The issue comes when it’s handled badly or when other conditions are ignored because a doctor just assumes you need to lose weight / stop smoking / stop having hormones…!4
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The issue comes when it’s handled badly or when other conditions are ignored because a doctor just assumes you need to lose weight / stop smoking / stop having hormones…!
I bet so many people relate with this. So true and frustrating! Really well said.3 -
The issue comes when it’s handled badly or when other conditions are ignored because a doctor just assumes you need to lose weight / stop smoking / stop having hormones…!
I bet so many people relate with this. So true and frustrating! Really well said.
Complete agreement.
Yes some doctors are amazing.
But not all of them. And when you’re a member of a marginalized group the potential of having a doctor who is especially (redacted) to you is definitely higher.
I’ve had some whoppers of bad medical professionals. Some because of my weight, some because of my (at the time) very low income. And, although it’s rarer now, a few absolute stinkers who looked down on their female patients.
And, though I have always appreciated my current physician, she’s been my physician for over a decade. At first her attitude was OK, but fairly dismissive. Which I was used to from doctors so it didn’t really stand out. But now that I’ve lost so much weight her attitude is MUCH better.
And the only thing that has changed about me is my weight loss….
So ya. Doctors are human.
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Thanks. I have had my stitches out for almost three weeks. It's 100%. I never stopped running. But I quit going to my yoga class. I really should have gone two weekends ago, and definitely should have gone last weekend. I'm just a locked down creature of momentum and entropy. I pray the great driver of things gets my behind to class this upcoming weekend.And I hope that Chris is recovering well!4 -
OMG, this has been a constant in my life. Which is sort of odd, considering the highest my BMI has ever been is about 25. Every doctor's visit since I was about 7 years old has included something about how I need to lose weight (which is how I was put on weight watches by my concerned mother at 9 years old), and I have had chronic pain conditions for that entire time which I was told would go away if I "just lost weight". I had chronic untreated migraines 4-5x a week for almost 8 years (until I was 16) before I tried a specialist who did not blame my weight (I was about 130 then) and actually gave me meds, which almost completely resolved my pain. I am now off those meds and not looking forward to seeing my regular doctor again in July.4
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