How do you go on...

soon2beeskinny

Hello all, I need some advise. I have been thin for most of my life until about 5 years ago. To make a long story short, I gained 80 pounds which brought me from a size 2 to 18. I managed to lose 50 of that. But in the last two years I have gained and lost 30 pounds twice!! I'm SO over dieting. I'm sick of it. I have done it for far to long. I just want to eat at maintenance calories!! But at the same time I can't stand to see my tiny frame 30 pounds heavier. I'm 172 and 5 foot. Some days I'm ok and not hungry but other days I just want more calories. I'm on my feet for 8 hours. I'm not exercising when I get home. I'm just sick of it all.

MsChewMe

How do I do this? I need to eat and so does my family, so I eat the right amount of calories to maintain my weight.

Heather4448

It's okay to go over your calorie allotment some days. Just stay on track for your weekly goals. Visit the volume eaters thread for filling meal/snack ideas.

mlrtri

I have been there. It sucks to constantly count/watch/limit calories. But it sucks more to be unhealthy and unhappy with your body. I have lost and gained and am tired of it. I am working hard to make this time last. Instead of just trying to lose weight I am TRYING to adopt healthier lifestyle and habits. This means it is coming off a bit slower than I want. And I get discouraged. But in changing my way of life I hope this is the last time I will have to lose weight, obsess over scale numbers every week, be emotionally up or down based on how I am doing with my weight. I am at a point that I am more fed up with my image in the mirror than I am with calorie counting. You have to make that choice. And remind yourself over and over and over again of your decision.

AnnPT77

Eat at estimated maintenance calories for the weight you want to be? It's a slow route compared to some others, but you did say you just want to eat at maintenance.

(I didn't do this - not patient enough - but have seen folks here say they succeeded this way.)

TimothyFish

I know the feeling, but I came to the conclusion that stopping wasn't really an option. Also, I found that increasing exercise helped. These days "maintenance" for me is over 3,000 calories. Being able to eat 2500 calories and still lose weight made it seem less challenging.

SerinaW

Gonna take a stab and say you sound unsatisfied once you have eaten your allotted calories. Have you changed the foods you're eating? If you're eating the same but less, you're just teasing yourself over and over. Learn new favorites and treats. Eating healthy gets easier when "I can't have that" becomes "I don't want that". - forget the author but I tell myself that everyday. I eat when hungry, but choose what my body can use (e.g. 10-20 Cocoa almonds, 80 calorie light Greek yogurt, Apple with 2Tbls reduced fat peanut butter, etc). It tastes yummy but I also know I'm fueling my body - not sabotaging. If it truly is your last time, I agree it'll be slow because you're changing your whole desires to not WANT that crap that makes us fat. So don't give up. Also - guzzle water, then see if you are still hungry. My trick: Slowly eat one snack like one example from above with plenty of water, wait an hour and if still hungry, eat one more but a different kind, and so on. It helps me space out my calories and feel like I'm indulging all day, then meals can be smaller but fill me up because I'm not starving.

Your story sounds exactly like mine. I mean JUST LIKE MINE. We can do this and get back to who we really are. I'm only 2 months in and it feels so good to be in control and not the cravings and junk.

Btw - start with just your foods. Eventually you'll have the will to add exercise in slowly. Don't put too much pressure all at once.

JeromeBarry1

I'm not dieting. I'm eating at maintenance for my goal weight. I'm somewhat stuck with 'going on' with it for the rest of my life.

AliceDark

Take a diet break. Give yourself anywhere from two weeks to two months, and just eat at maintenance. Then you can jump back into dieting when you feel ready again.

jelleigh

I agree with both taking a break, and trying a weekly approach when you do start again. When I got tired of watching everything, I did 5:2. It let me eat what felt like a lot of calories for 5 days, and then just two strict days.

SezxyStef

So don't diet...a diet is to restrict oneself to small amounts or special kinds of food in order to lose weight.

when people use that phrase they typically mean there is a start and an end when in fact there is not an end to this thing...

When you stop caring/watching how much you are eating chances are you gain it back and your yo yo proves just that.

A diet break isn't needed...re-education is.

Look at it this way...you need to start a WoE (way of eating) that you can follow for the rest of your life and stay the weight you want to.

So my suggestion (and this is what I did and have maintained for a while now) is to log your food here accurately and consistently using a food scale staying in goal. That goal can be to lose 1lb a week or 1.5 or even as little as 1/2. But make sure that the foods you are eating are the ones you can see eating all the time and that if you want/crave or love something don't cut it out...just eat it in reasonable portions and stay in goal.

Then when you get to your goal guess what your WoE doesn't change you just get to eat a little bit more of what you were eating anyway...

no need to stop what you have been doing as this is your new life with food now.

nowine4me

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Eat at estimated maintenance calories for the weight you want to be? It's a slow route compared to some others, but you did say you just want to eat at maintenance.

(I didn't do this - not patient enough - but have seen folks here say they succeeded this way.)

This is what I'm doing with about 8# left to lose. I'm guessing it will take about 8 more months, but I'm okay with that. Way better than the yo-yo option.

Need2Exerc1se

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Eat at estimated maintenance calories for the weight you want to be? It's a slow route compared to some others, but you did say you just want to eat at maintenance.

(I didn't do this - not patient enough - but have seen folks here say they succeeded this way.)

Yes! This was going to be my advice. I did it and it was the slow route (a little over a year to lose 30 lbs) but it was also the easy and comfortable route. And there were only minor adjustments once I got to goal. In fact, I found that the estimators had under estimated my maintenance calories. I eat about 300-400 more than they said I'd be able to in maintenance. I've maintained for about 1.5 years now.

cheryldumais

I understand your frustration. When I get to that point I usually take a look at what I've been eating. Often I will find it is mostly refined carbs. I will then make an effort to eat more vegetables. What happens to me is I get lazy about preparing food. I just want to eat something quick and not chop and steam etc. I also make sure I'm getting enough lean protein.

The next issue was that I was sick of being on 1200 calories. I had set myself up to lose 2 pounds a week. After a year at this level I hit a plateau and couldn't seem to get past it. I took a diet break but I only took a week. I probably should have done 2 but was terrified of gaining. After the break I couldn't face 1200 calories anymore so changed to a .5 pound a week loss goal which gave me about 180 calories a day more (I wasn't losing 2 pounds a week at 1200 anyway).

You have to wrap your head around the fact that you will be eating this way for the rest of your life. There is no going back to the way it was. If that worked you would never have gained in the first place. That was the first hurdle I had to get over. As time has gone by I have learned so much and actually now prefer the way I eat to the way it was previously. In 2 years I have drastically changed what we eat. I don't even miss the junk I used to eat because I've found things that I enjoy just as much. I had to be willing to try different things to find that path but it was worth it.

Make sure you are eating in a way you can life with permanently. If you can't do it then you are going to find maintenance almost impossible. For me Maintenance calories will only be 250 calories a day more than I am eating now. That's not alot so I have to enjoy what I am eating.

To date I have lost 89 pounds on MFP (108 including pre MFP). I have 4 pounds to go. I am not tired of watching what I eat and yes the last 20 pounds has taken me since the beginning of the year but I'm going in the right direction. You CAN do this. Find a WOE you can live with and you will be successful.

blambo61

You may want to try fasting. When fasting, you don't get that hungry. It's when you start eating and then don't fill up that it is hard. With fasting, you wait tell later to eat so when you do eat, you can eat more in a sitting and you get to eat much larger meals and get blessedly FULL. It is way easier for me to fast and then get to eat tell full than to eat a bunch of small meals. Plus, there is much less food prep while fasting obviously. Also, you can take the approach to adjust the length of the fasting window to where you lose weight and that will eliminate the necessity of weighing everything and counting calories. I've lost my weight doing a 20:4 fasting routine and I maintain using a 16:8 routine. The first number is the length of the fast and the second number is the length of your eating window. I eat ad libitum (as I please and what I want) during my eating window and I lose weight (on the 20:4 routine). If I didn't lose weight, I would just shorten my window tell I did before I would do portion control for a meal. Eating tell full is vital for me to make it sustainable long term. A lot of small meals and endless measuring and counting would be hell for me! Some may fair better doing the small meal thing but you may find fasting works for you. Also exercise for the health benefits and to let you eat more.

Check out the following forums:
OMAD (one meal a day)
Intermittent Fasting (all sorts of protocols)
5:2 (5-days eating, two not eating much a week)