Everything is Changing!!!
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Most restaurants have the calorie counts on their website or menu (or this app). You can drink alcohol with a different mixer. You can exercise more to give yourself more calories for a night out. You can save calories through the week.
I don't think people are being rude to you, but this question is asked like 20 times a day, or some other variation. There are thousands of threads with good answers and in the sticky threads at the top of the page. People can be snarky because in the end it's all up to you. Nothing anyone says here can control your will power or choices and decide for you if a few drinks and some food are worth more then your weight loss goals.
On a side note, I drink still and eat out and have managed to lose about 20 pounds so it's not impossible.3 -
This time around with weight loss I really did not make changes I found it hard to live my normal life with. Some things changed but they weren't hard changes.
We are eating the same foods pretty much. I just watch portion sizes and eat more vegetables.
We eat out one meal a week (lunch). I look up nutritional info and find something that fits my goal. The appeal of eating out is spending time with my family and not cooking/cleaning for one meal a week.
I prelog my food for the day every morning. More thinking about my choices than I used to do.
I use a digital food scale at home to help get portion sizes right for me. It has made a difference.
If there is a special occasion or holiday I plan what I can, get more exercise that week or eat lighter for other meals. (The holiday posts will be starting pretty soon here.)
I decided that I don't feel very satisfied drinking my calories. I drink water or unsweetened iced tea mostly. Occasionally I get something with calories and it is fine once in awhile.
Sometimes I just have maintenance calorie days. This is enough extra calories for me to indulge a bit more. Not every day.
I choose one thing I really want to have. I don't try to have doughnuts, stuffed crust pizza, fried chicken, bacon cheeseburger and a peanut butter shake all in one day.
What you do once a week or once a month is probably less important than what you do every day.
I think trying new things to do together that don't involve food or alcohol is a great idea.
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I don't understand the mindset here. The goal is to establish habits that will allow us to enjoy whatever time each of us has left..
Being terrified of having a few drinks out on a date night or destroying a few street tacos while drunk is unsustainable in my view.
I say enjoy yourself in the moment and to hell w/ all the rest of it.2 -
amandacalories wrote: »
I don't think people are being rude to you, but this question is asked like 20 times a day, or some other variation. There are thousands of threads with good answers and in the sticky threads at the top of the page. People can be snarky because in the end it's all up to you. Nothing anyone says here can control your will power or choices and decide for you if a few drinks and some food are worth more then your weight loss goals.
Thank you for replying, but let me quickly explain something: I haven't been on MFP in 4 years. It has been 10 days since I've been logged back on. And if a question has been asked 20 times in different variations, how am I supposed to know? Am I supposed to go and research the question before asking? I mean, if people have a problem with answering a question without an attitude, then DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! It's really that simple. And yes, it's up to me Amanda, I just asked for advice, not attitude. I'm 70 pounds lighter since starting my weight loss process in Jan 2016, so obviously, I know it's up to me. I've got about 90 more pounds I want to release and I'm afraid that any thing will get me off track. Yes, it's that big of a fear. Sorry so many people are having trouble understanding that. But it's okay, I get it. We all operate differently. Peace.7 -
ProdigiousDigit wrote: »I don't understand the mindset here. The goal is to establish habits that will allow us to enjoy whatever time each of us has left..
Being terrified of having a few drinks out on a date night or destroying a few street tacos while drunk is unsustainable in my view.
I say enjoy yourself in the moment and to hell w/ all the rest of it.
Sorry you don't understand. But good thing is a lot of people do. I talked with my husband after reading several replies and I know what I need to do. I will enjoy myself, not in the same way that I used to (overeating, unhealthy options), but with no fear of sabotaging my efforts, either.5 -
Ericnutrition wrote: »ProdigiousDigit wrote: »I don't understand the mindset here. The goal is to establish habits that will allow us to enjoy whatever time each of us has left..
Being terrified of having a few drinks out on a date night or destroying a few street tacos while drunk is unsustainable in my view.
I say enjoy yourself in the moment and to hell w/ all the rest of it.
I agree.
It's Saturday night, you are out with friends and you have two choices - enjoy eating and drinking with them and go over your daily allotment (500 or 700 calories, who cares, it's only one night!), or explaining to them that you can't join them because you've hit your 1,775-calorie limit. So you sit there and watch them eat and drink, while they think you are crazy.
Nope, I just won't go! Good thing is right now my only friend that I go out with is hubby, and we don't go out often, so I guess I'm ok :-)2 -
ProdigiousDigit wrote: »I don't understand the mindset here. The goal is to establish habits that will allow us to enjoy whatever time each of us has left..
Being terrified of having a few drinks out on a date night or destroying a few street tacos while drunk is unsustainable in my view.
I say enjoy yourself in the moment and to hell w/ all the rest of it.
Sorry you don't understand. But good thing is a lot of people do. I talked with my husband after reading several replies and I know what I need to do. I will enjoy myself, not in the same way that I used to (overeating, unhealthy options), but with no fear of sabotaging my efforts, either.
Yeah. That's what I just said. You're welcome.4 -
This time around with weight loss I really did not make changes I found it hard to live my normal life with. Some things changed but they weren't hard changes.
We are eating the same foods pretty much. I just watch portion sizes and eat more vegetables.
We eat out one meal a week (lunch). I look up nutritional info and find something that fits my goal. The appeal of eating out is spending time with my family and not cooking/cleaning for one meal a week.
I prelog my food for the day every morning. More thinking about my choices than I used to do.
I use a digital food scale at home to help get portion sizes right for me. It has made a difference.
If there is a special occasion or holiday I plan what I can, get more exercise that week or eat lighter for other meals. (The holiday posts will be starting pretty soon here.)
I decided that I don't feel very satisfied drinking my calories. I drink water or unsweetened iced tea mostly. Occasionally I get something with calories and it is fine once in awhile.
Sometimes I just have maintenance calorie days. This is enough extra calories for me to indulge a bit more. Not every day.
I choose one thing I really want to have. I don't try to have doughnuts, stuffed crust pizza, fried chicken, bacon cheeseburger and a peanut butter shake all in one day.
What you do once a week or once a month is probably less important than what you do every day.
I think trying new things to do together that don't involve food or alcohol is a great idea.
Yup, that's what I've done too. I'm finding what works and what doesn't. But since I've been eating at home for the last couple of weeks. When he mentioned going out, I froze. Probably because the last time we went out, I pigged out. This is usually what I do....but I'm good now, and I will find my balance. Thanks for replying.0 -
It's hard to go to the same places and not do the same things you're used to doing. Kayaking is a great idea. Maybe you can plan ahead next time and figure out how many calories you burn while kayaking, and bank some of those for your night out.
As someone who used to enjoy buffets, I'm no longer a fan since I started watching my weight. The food quality is rarely the best, because they attract people based on volume. Consider trying a higher-end more expensive restaurant than you're used to, but eating less food so the cost is not higher. Less but more delicious food is what has kept me from feeling crazy.
Best of luck to you, and your husband deserves praise for being supportive!0 -
Those responses sounded like tough love to me, not rudeness. That is the kind of feedback you open yourself up to by posting on a public forum: different opinions and approaches to answering the question you asked.
In the future, if you feel that a response is more straightforward or blunt than you would like, you don't have to respond to it. You can choose to just respond to the answers you find helpful. In this instance, I personally feel that the way you responded to things you didn't want to hear made you seem defensive.
Best of luck with managing evenings out in the future; it's definitely a source of anxiety and uncertainty for many of us during the weight loss process.7 -
[/quote]
Thank you for replying, but let me quickly explain something: I haven't been on MFP in 4 years. It has been 10 days since I've been logged back on. And if a question has been asked 20 times in different variations, how am I supposed to know? Am I supposed to go and research the question before asking? I mean, if people have a problem with answering a question without an attitude, then DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! It's really that simple. And yes, it's up to me Amanda, I just asked for advice, not attitude. I'm 70 pounds lighter since starting my weight loss process in Jan 2016, so obviously, I know it's up to me. I've got about 90 more pounds I want to release and I'm afraid that any thing will get me off track. Yes, it's that big of a fear. Sorry so many people are having trouble understanding that. But it's okay, I get it. We all operate differently. Peace. [/quote]
Well...yes. You can search a specific topic at the top of the fourms.
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Another option is maybe have friends over to your home, maybe game night kinda thing. You control the food and drinks and still enjoy the social benefits. My husband and I never eat out...I mean literally maybe once a year. We both love to cook and we find we are always disappointed by the quality of restaurant food. We do frequently host friends at our house though. Just another option...good luck on your journey and I'm happy to hear your husband is supportive of is helping you figure this out!1
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If mine wanted to go out and eat and suggested a soup and salad place I would have jumped at the chance. Best of both worlds.3
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amandacalories wrote: »
I don't think people are being rude to you, but this question is asked like 20 times a day, or some other variation. There are thousands of threads with good answers and in the sticky threads at the top of the page. People can be snarky because in the end it's all up to you. Nothing anyone says here can control your will power or choices and decide for you if a few drinks and some food are worth more then your weight loss goals.
Thank you for replying, but let me quickly explain something: I haven't been on MFP in 4 years. It has been 10 days since I've been logged back on. And if a question has been asked 20 times in different variations, how am I supposed to know? Am I supposed to go and research the question before asking? I mean, if people have a problem with answering a question without an attitude, then DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! It's really that simple. And yes, it's up to me Amanda, I just asked for advice, not attitude. I'm 70 pounds lighter since starting my weight loss process in Jan 2016, so obviously, I know it's up to me. I've got about 90 more pounds I want to release and I'm afraid that any thing will get me off track. Yes, it's that big of a fear. Sorry so many people are having trouble understanding that. But it's okay, I get it. We all operate differently. Peace.
There is a search function for the forums, using it has helped me find some helpful things. Though sometimes, I've still posted after because what I found wasn't quite what I was looking for.
To be honest, I found the response direct and honest. No, they weren't full of warm fuzzies, but that doesn't make them rude.
You are the one responsible for what you eat. And it sounds like you're not happy with what you ate when you went out. The only one who can change that next time is future you. You can use the posted tips and tricks, bank extra calories and arm yourself in advance with menu choices but none of that will mean anything if you're not ready or willing to follow through.
Looking at that reason, why you make the choices you do when you don't want to, may be the most helpful thing you can do to finish your journey. You've made it this far, and now might be the time to develop new strategies, knowledge and habits to get you the rest of the way. Continually evaluating and adapting has helped me. But how that looks is different to every person.
Good luck!5 -
For other social ideas, we have friends over at least once a month. I usually plan the menu because I like to be creative that way, so I know exactly what the calories are in my dinner and drinks.
Another thing my husband and I do is experiment with fancy popcorn once the kiddo has gone to bed. Snuggle up, each with a bowl of our own flavor combos, and watch a couple episodes of "Twin Peaks" or "Stranger Things". We are easy to please.2 -
rheddmobile wrote: »It's hard to go to the same places and not do the same things you're used to doing. Kayaking is a great idea. Maybe you can plan ahead next time and figure out how many calories you burn while kayaking, and bank some of those for your night out.
As someone who used to enjoy buffets, I'm no longer a fan since I started watching my weight. The food quality is rarely the best, because they attract people based on volume. Consider trying a higher-end more expensive restaurant than you're used to, but eating less food so the cost is not higher. Less but more delicious food is what has kept me from feeling crazy.
Best of luck to you, and your husband deserves praise for being supportive!
Thank you so much for your understanding and advice...I will surely take heed! Yes, my husband is awesome! And we went kayaking this morning....what an experience!!!! I really enjoyed it...words can't even do it justice
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Those responses sounded like tough love to me, not rudeness. That is the kind of feedback you open yourself up to by posting on a public forum: different opinions and approaches to answering the question you asked.
In the future, if you feel that a response is more straightforward or blunt than you would like, you don't have to respond to it. You can choose to just respond to the answers you find helpful. In this instance, I personally feel that the way you responded to things you didn't want to hear made you seem defensive.
Best of luck with managing evenings out in the future; it's definitely a source of anxiety and uncertainty for many of us during the weight loss process.
I agree that I don't have to respond to every single post, favorable or not (though I do find it a little difficult to NOT respond). And because this is the internet, I could have interpreted some of the responses as rude when the people were just giving their opinion. I feel like some people did not understand my anxieties, and chose to point out how I was wrong. So yes, I did get on the defense. But nevertheless, it's a new day, and again, I agree with you....If the response is not to my liking, just keep it moving because this is indeed a public forum. I don't post much because I usually figure things out on my own. But when I reach for help, I have certain expectations. But, all is well. Thanks again.2 -
XXcookiepussXX wrote: »For other social ideas, we have friends over at least once a month. I usually plan the menu because I like to be creative that way, so I know exactly what the calories are in my dinner and drinks.
Another thing my husband and I do is experiment with fancy popcorn once the kiddo has gone to bed. Snuggle up, each with a bowl of our own flavor combos, and watch a couple episodes of "Twin Peaks" or "Stranger Things". We are easy to please.
Thanks for the ideas!0 -
amandacalories wrote: »
I don't think people are being rude to you, but this question is asked like 20 times a day, or some other variation. There are thousands of threads with good answers and in the sticky threads at the top of the page. People can be snarky because in the end it's all up to you. Nothing anyone says here can control your will power or choices and decide for you if a few drinks and some food are worth more then your weight loss goals.
Thank you for replying, but let me quickly explain something: I haven't been on MFP in 4 years. It has been 10 days since I've been logged back on. And if a question has been asked 20 times in different variations, how am I supposed to know? Am I supposed to go and research the question before asking? I mean, if people have a problem with answering a question without an attitude, then DON'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! It's really that simple. And yes, it's up to me Amanda, I just asked for advice, not attitude. I'm 70 pounds lighter since starting my weight loss process in Jan 2016, so obviously, I know it's up to me. I've got about 90 more pounds I want to release and I'm afraid that any thing will get me off track. Yes, it's that big of a fear. Sorry so many people are having trouble understanding that. But it's okay, I get it. We all operate differently. Peace.
There is a search function for the forums, using it has helped me find some helpful things. Though sometimes, I've still posted after because what I found wasn't quite what I was looking for.
To be honest, I found the response direct and honest. No, they weren't full of warm fuzzies, but that doesn't make them rude.
You are the one responsible for what you eat. And it sounds like you're not happy with what you ate when you went out. The only one who can change that next time is future you. You can use the posted tips and tricks, bank extra calories and arm yourself in advance with menu choices but none of that will mean anything if you're not ready or willing to follow through.
Looking at that reason, why you make the choices you do when you don't want to, may be the most helpful thing you can do to finish your journey. You've made it this far, and now might be the time to develop new strategies, knowledge and habits to get you the rest of the way. Continually evaluating and adapting has helped me. But how that looks is different to every person.
Good luck!
Thank you, I respect that and I have come this far....it's just time for me to make some more adjustments. When I said in my subject line, 'Everything is Changing' it's true! Everything is changing....when I go out, I can't just lose all control...that's just silly and I don't want to live with regrets. The way I view food at home is the SAME way I should view food when I'm out. I'm getting there
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