" You already blew your diet"
jasummers76
Posts: 225 Member
So, I had two pieces of taco pizza the other night. Which I budgeted my kcals for and was fine going over a bit. Then the family needed milkshakes, when asked I said no thanks. That's where the above comment came in, I wanted to say I am not dieting anymore, just being healthier. But it is a conversation I have had with them before so what is the use. I would love to blow up and say that they are not helping me by making desserts every other night, and at times it feels like they are out to see me fail, but I know in the long run learning to say no to temptations more often will help me. I just want the whole " diet " thing to stop being brought up. If I decide to get a regular McDonald's hamburger without fries, that doesn't mean I am going off the rails for the day, days or weeks anymore. It is just getting so frustrating being a father of three with a wife and mother-in-law who make zero effort to make a dinner or two a week that is not so unhealthy. They order out at least 8 times a month and I will get a burger or taco and they nag me about it. About how I have gone off my diet.. okay rant over
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Replies
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Actually your attitude is absolutely correct and the attitude of "already blew the diet so let's have a free for all" is one of the reasons people fail!45
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I know it's hard to resist. I'm a mother of two and have a fiancé. They all lose weight like crazy. My fiancé will stuff his face all day long with soda and chips and fast food and by morning he lost 10 pounds. It took me weeks and weeks to get off 10 pounds. You just gotta have the willpower. I cook my family their foods and cook myself something else. If they eat chips or candy or cookies I just ignore it.8
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rickiimarieee wrote: »I know it's hard to resist. I'm a mother of two and have a fiancé. They all lose weight like crazy. My fiancé will stuff his face all day long with soda and chips and fast food and by morning he lost 10 pounds. It took me weeks and weeks to get off 10 pounds. You just gotta have the willpower. I cook my family their foods and cook myself something else. If they eat chips or candy or cookies I just ignore it.
This is the second post where you've mentioned that your young children are losing weight "like crazy" or at a rapid pace. I hope you will take them to be checked out. Significant weight loss isn't normal for children.34 -
Though my parents try to get me to fail every time they see me. It drives me up the wall. They're like you can still eat this it'll just be your off day and let me take you out to eat. There is no off day for me. I want this so bad, and I'm not just gonna drop all the hard work and dedication I put into this weight loss.3
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Do you cook, as well? For the nights when you know that the main dish will be calorie laden, you could also have a large green salad with lower calorie dressing to offset what they're eating/serving. I will often make myself an egg white omelette to compliment things like a slice or two of pizza, or just skip the caloric food that everyone else is eating in order to have something I can "afford".
And otherwise, I'd probably just learn how to ignore the others pretty well. Stick to what you're doing, your results will speak for themselves soon enough.8 -
Actually your attitude is absolutely correct and the attitude of "already blew the diet so let's have a free for all" is one of the reasons people fail!
This^
I would hate these comments too.
But you know what you are doing......so in the end it won't matter that they don't have a clue.6 -
People are annoying like that.
Anytime anyone in my family or my SO's family sees me eating a donuts or any other "bad" food, they ask if its a cheat day or won't that ruin my diet, etc. People just don't understand that you can eat anything and lose weight. And even if it does put me over my calories, its one day, so long as there aren't many of those days it's all good.
With my mum, I know its because she doesn't want to believe me that if she tracked her food, she could eat whatever and lose weight. She wants to think she can't lose weight because then she couldn't eat the food she wants.5 -
You are doing the right thing. Keep it up.
Maybe try again sitting down with them. Explain your goals. Ask them very sweetly if they could please support you in this and not discourage you. You aren't asking them to join you, just to be supportive.4 -
Katiebear_81 wrote: »Do you cook, as well? For the nights when you know that the main dish will be calorie laden, you could also have a large green salad with lower calorie dressing to offset what they're eating/serving. I will often make myself an egg white omelette to compliment things like a slice or two of pizza, or just skip the caloric food that everyone else is eating in order to have something I can "afford".
And otherwise, I'd probably just learn how to ignore the others pretty well. Stick to what you're doing, your results will speak for themselves soon enough.
Yes, I often cook myself chicken fish or red meat. With a frozen bag of veggies. I would love to meal prep as it is a pain cooking daily. But with so many people in the house there is little room for storage.5 -
Stay on track. You can do it! One meal or one day isn't going to blow your diet. I think you have a good grasp on your situation. My daughter is a food pusher. "Just take one bite, mom" and I have to remind her constantly that I'm watching what I eat. But put that one bite in my mouth and she says "I thought you were on a diet?" I just try to remind her that I am watching what I eat and it's not a diet, but a lifestyle choice. Keep up the good work!6
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They "needed" milkshakes?10
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When ppl notice me eating something they believe I shouldn't, I tell them I'd rather not talk about it & I'm responsible for what I eat.I just say I don't want any if they ask why aren't you eating this with us. If someone genuinely is interested (not sarcastic) I talk about it. There's a really good book called Boundries & it's really helped me how to address all of this8
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This is why I don't want family members to "know" that I am trying to lose weight. If they don't know, then they don't comment on how I am eating or the choices I am making. But if they do know, then I feel like I'll be under constant surveillance and subject to their evaluations.4
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No, I didn't mean my children lost like crazy but they don't gain I meant my fiancé loses like crazy. I worded it wrong. But He's very healthy. His mother is the same way I guess just fast metabolisms. My 9 month old is 28 pounds and my 6 year old is 50 pounds. But my fiancé will go from weighing 150 to 140 over night and I can't understand how.5
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rickiimarieee wrote: »No, I didn't mean my children lost like crazy but they don't gain I meant my fiancé loses like crazy. I worded it wrong. But He's very healthy. His mother is the same way I guess just fast metabolisms. My 9 month old is 28 pounds and my 6 year old is 50 pounds. But my fiancé will go from weighing 150 to 140 over night and I can't understand how.
I think you just mean they aren't gaining excess weight (which is good), but they should gain *some* weight.
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I know it's a good thing they don't gain but it's insane to me how much they eat without gaining anything. Yes I mean they aren't gaining excess weight but with how they are eating they should of gained atleast some. I know I would of gained like crazy eating how they do lol.0
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rickiimarieee wrote: »I know it's a good thing they don't gain but it's insane to me how much they eat without gaining anything. Yes I mean they aren't gaining excess weight but with how they are eating they should of gained atleast some. I know I would of gained like crazy eating how they do lol.
They're kids. They (hopefully) run around outside being kids. They burn off a lot of energy just being kids.
We adults tend not to do anywhere near as much activity unless it is planed, organized, tracked etc.8 -
That is true I'm more active than my fiancé though, and he still burns weight like crazy1
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People don't get it. You're either a fat *kitten* who likes pizza and burgers, or a "naturally thin, great metabolism" *kitten* who likes pizza and burgers. There's no way to cautiously indulge while taking care of yourself. Not possible. Nope. No way.12
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Good on you, dude. That's the perfect mentality to have! Eventually you'll love the smug satisfaction you receive from telling them that you've lost weight eating fast food, haha.0
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My brother was telling his wife and me the same thing if we "slipped".. Then he would get mad that we still lost weight even slipping up. I tried to explain deficients and weekly goals and over on breakfast doesn't mean over for dinner and that it's based on calories, not food types. He didn't get it at ALL. Maybe your wife will. Tell her you are watching your weekly calories, not daily.2
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Last night we had a birthday party at Shakey's and I really slipped, even though I had "pre-logged" what I was going to eat. Once we got there and all the food and beer around, I just fell off both the food and alcohol wagon to the tune of about 500 calories! Today I'm back on track and carefully watching every bite plus I exercised, so my week should look OK. I'm lucky that I'm the cook and grocery shopper in this household, so everybody benefits when I get into really healthy cooking.3
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rickiimarieee wrote: »I know it's a good thing they don't gain but it's insane to me how much they eat without gaining anything. Yes I mean they aren't gaining excess weight but with how they are eating they should of gained atleast some. I know I would of gained like crazy eating how they do lol.
No, it's not a good thing that they don't gain anything. That's called failure to thrive. It's a bad thing for children never to gain any weight.2 -
OP, I know I'd be really tempted to ask my spouse why they want to be the annoying pebble in my shoe trying to keep me from walking my path successfully. Eventually one is likely to shake the pebble out of the shoe.2
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Keep on keeping on, OP. By this time next year, you'll be at least 50 lighter and you won't need to *say* a word!1
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That sucks! And I used to complain about my mom sabotaging my efforts by bringing chips into the home...I won't complain anymore. It's unfortunate you are experiencing this. Hope you venting a bit will help you to keep going.0
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You're stronger than I am. By this point I would be answering their remarks with "I'm sorry you're so stupid." If I had to live with my in laws I would be crazy by now.
Seriously, though. The politer way to say I'm sorry you're so stupid: "This is not a diet. This is my life. We've already been over this before, and I'm not blowing my diet by eating within my calorie allotment, so please stop making irrelevant remarks."
I would also have a come to Jesus talk with the wife, privately, about why she was trying to get rid of me. Let her know you want to live and intend to live, no matter how hard she makes it for you. I had this talk with my husband and it was a necessary thing which helped in the long term. Obesity is not just a matter of appearance, it's a major health risk. If she's not willing to take your life seriously, she needs to be asked flat out: why not?
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I've heard comments that aren't exactly the same, but was asked in the past why I watch my portions when eating certain meals, but then treat myself to an ice cream. I watch my portions when it comes to everything. People often don't get it and think you have to either eat only healthy food or not bother. I eat mostly healthful foods, but I still treat myself, though I do it less these days. Thats why I just try to avoid ever mentioning losing weight or efforts to do so a whole lot to others.0
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