Not sure how to feel about this...

DX2JX2

I've been struggling with getting all of my calories in since shifting to maintenance. One of the big reasons is that we finally got a snap of good fall weather and I've been running more than normal.

Anyway, last night I was about 800 calories short of target after dinner. The wife is expecting and had a milkshake craving so we took a ride to our local parlor. I had my mind set on a hot fudge brownie sundae. What better way to get to target, right?

When scanning the menu, I couldn't help but notice that the sundae I wanted (the place only offers 'specialty' sundaes in one size), was a whopping 1350 calories! Even though I knew it would be fine in the grand scheme of things (I would even make up the excess calories with this morning's run) I could not let myself get it. It was just sooooo much and way too far of a departure from how I've been eating since I started my weight loss efforts.

I was so disgusted by the number of calories in the sundae that I wanted so badly that I didn't even feel like finding a more reasonable option. I bought my wife's milkshake and left. I satisfied my dessert craving with a big apple, a banana, and some pomegranate seeds. I went to bed about 500 calories short for the day.

On one hand, I'm happy that I was able to resist the temptation of that sundae that I love/used to love so much (I used to easily eat 2 of those per week pre-weight loss), on the other hand, on a purely rational basis I know that having that sundae wouldn't really have been that big a deal calorie-wise. I had plenty of room left to go and would more than offset any excess via exercise a couple of hours later.

I'm not quite sure how to feel about this...the only thing I know for certain is that I'll have to keep fighting the war for balance for the foreseeable future. I'm starting to think that maintenance is actually harder than losing!

mamadon

I can relate. I've been maintaining for almost four years and still work hard to maintain that balance. I find it still as challenging as weight loss. One thing I do is to look at my weekly average instead of my daily, since my calories vary wildly for the week days to the weekends. Just the other day my husband asked me how long I plan to keep counting. I said indefinitely. I know there are some people who are able to maintain without doing so, but I am convinced I would slowly start to regain. Yes, it's a pain in the butt sometimes, but its so much better than being obese.

aylajane

I dont know if its what you want to hear, but you dont have to eat/drink the whole thing. Ask them to put half in the cup. You will still pay full price, but not be tempted to finish it. I go to McDs every now and then when I just want an ice cream cone. But what I really want is the cone - just a little soggy from the ice cream. So I ask them to only fill the ice cream to just above the top of the cone. If they forget or give me more than I want, just just knock the top off into the trash. I enjoy my treat and know I did not go overboard.

Another option is to share your wife's . If she is also trying to lose weight, that helps her too. My fiancee and I are both trying to lose the last 10-20 pounds. He weighs 70 pounds more than me (because he is 7 inches taller...). So when we eat out for dinner or desert or anything, we get one meal - I eat 1/3 to 1/4, he eats the rest. Restaurant meals are so huge it is usually plenty of food. If not, we get a side and share that too.

DX2JX2

aylajane wrote: »

I dont know if its what you want to hear, but you dont have to eat/drink the whole thing. Ask them to put half in the cup. You will still pay full price, but not be tempted to finish it. I go to McDs every now and then when I just want an ice cream cone. But what I really want is the cone - just a little soggy from the ice cream. So I ask them to only fill the ice cream to just above the top of the cone. If they forget or give me more than I want, just just knock the top off into the trash. I enjoy my treat and know I did not go overboard.

Another option is to share your wife's . If she is also trying to lose weight, that helps her too. My fiancee and I are both trying to lose the last 10-20 pounds. He weighs 70 pounds more than me (because he is 7 inches taller...). So when we eat out for dinner or desert or anything, we get one meal - I eat 1/3 to 1/4, he eats the rest. Restaurant meals are so huge it is usually plenty of food. If not, we get a side and share that too.

That's great advice - I didn't think of that.

Re: sharing the wife's, unfortunately that's a no-go. She's eating for two and when baby wants a milkshake, baby wants all of the milkshake!

tulips_and_tea

Maintenance is just as much of a learning and trial-and-error experience as losing is. As you said, balance is the key and due to ever-changing life circumstances re-evaluation is needed regularly. Live and learn. Next time you want ice cream you can do as suggested above and get half or have another suitable option in mind.

Not sure how long it's been since you've had your once favorite sundae, but it's very possible that had you eaten it you may have not felt very well physically and may have missed your next run. That's not the case for everyone but it was for me, so I've learned that some food I once ate regularly I cannot stomach now.

Congrats on the soon-to-be new family member!

2011rocket3touring

For quite a while WAWA had a "Siptopia" sale where all their smoothies and blended beverages were $1.99 compared with one from Starbucks at about $5.
After the first one I saw the calories were over 1000. Jaw drop.
Did some poking around the WAWA menu and they had a sugar free one at around 150 calories. FAR more reasonable. Unfortunately I found this out as the Siptopia promotion was ending....

cwolfman13

Nah...maintenance is pretty easy. You have a lot more wiggle room, especially if you exercise on the regular. You'll eventually find that maintenance calories are really a range, not some specific number.

I've been maintaining for 4.5 years...I don't log and haven't logged in that time. I have days that are bigger eating days and I have days that are smaller eating days...basically a natural flow. I just watch the overall trend on my scale...if that line looks like it's trending up a little I know I'm overdoing it and just cut back a little.

Zeuggma

Next time, you could have the sundae one day and be over calories, then have no treat for a day or two and be under calories like you would have been to even out.

More of a weekly CICO than a daily if you think that way.

sijomial

I find maintenance easy because I don't set rigid rules and restrictions. I also don't try to "balance the books" on a daily basis - my high days are cancelled out by low days with the majority around maintenance levels.

My food/drink/calorie intake fluctuates, my exercise fluctuates, my weight fluctuates but I intervene if my weight creeps up too high.

That sundae wouldn't be my choice in a month of Sundays (see what I did there?) but if I wanted a high calorie treat then I'll have it. Enjoying food, especially with a social aspect, is a big part of enjoying life for me.

Need2Exerc1se

My first thought in reading your post OP is that you are over-thinking the whole thing. You decided to skip a very high calorie dessert. Big deal.

RoxieDawn

I can relate to seeing the calories on the menu board.. but what I can't relate to is not being able to make another choice that costs less calorie wise so that you could enjoy dessert with your wife. You missed the latter point entirely.

You will eventually find a happy medium with all this! And maybe you chose consuming less than optimal foods over what you really wanted and this was more of punishment and being angry at the entire process you went through. I get that too. You will get there in how you manage flexibility and balance.. and moreover when things happen and plans change!

Adc7225

I think it is a side effect of educating ourselves about calories and nutrition. Sometimes it is so easy to pass on something just based on a small amount of information gathered, like calories or fat content. I too would have passed on that Sundae

I recently had a similar experience, a friend gave me a Marie Calendars Pot Pie - something I used to love. When I looked at the # of calories in that little pie that I knew wasn't even going to be enough to be called a meal it was hard to enjoy (yes, I ate it because I knew he would ask) and I promised myself that would be the last one I ever had.

Not sure if you are also having issues with reaching your daily calorie goals but sometimes we have to balance out the calories over a few days or a week. So maybe when you feel like you are too low one day, maybe have an extra handful on nuts the next day . . .

swim777

Putting in my two cents worth here.. before I lost my favorite at DQ would be a blizzard..cookie dough no less..we still go and amazingly I can have a chocolate dipped cone and I'm still happy..I think about my old favorite but I still get ice cream and my husband and I both like this instead of the sundaes and blizzards.

kgirlhart

swim777 wrote: »

Putting in my two cents worth here.. before I lost my favorite at DQ would be a blizzard..cookie dough no less..we still go and amazingly I can have a chocolate dipped cone and I'm still happy..I think about my old favorite but I still get ice cream and my husband and I both like this instead of the sundaes and blizzards.

I do this a lot. I will occasionally get a "mini" size blizzard, but a cone plain or dipped will usually be enough to satisfy me without going overboard on the calories. Because even when I have the calories it is sometimes hard to spend that many calories on one treat.

ritzvin

DX2JX2 wrote: »

I've been struggling with getting all of my calories in since shifting to maintenance. One of the big reasons is that we finally got a snap of good fall weather and I've been running more than normal.

Anyway, last night I was about 800 calories short of target after dinner. The wife is expecting and had a milkshake craving so we took a ride to our local parlor. I had my mind set on a hot fudge brownie sundae. What better way to get to target, right?

When scanning the menu, I couldn't help but notice that the sundae I wanted (the place only offers 'specialty' sundaes in one size), was a whopping 1350 calories! Even though I knew it would be fine in the grand scheme of things (I would even make up the excess calories with this morning's run) I could not let myself get it. It was just sooooo much and way too far of a departure from how I've been eating since I started my weight loss efforts.

I was so disgusted by the number of calories in the sundae that I wanted so badly that I didn't even feel like finding a more reasonable option. I bought my wife's milkshake and left. I satisfied my dessert craving with a big apple, a banana, and some pomegranate seeds. I went to bed about 500 calories short for the day.

On one hand, I'm happy that I was able to resist the temptation of that sundae that I love/used to love so much (I used to easily eat 2 of those per week pre-weight loss), on the other hand, on a purely rational basis I know that having that sundae wouldn't really have been that big a deal calorie-wise. I had plenty of room left to go and would more than offset any excess via exercise a couple of hours later.

I'm not quite sure how to feel about this...the only thing I know for certain is that I'll have to keep fighting the war for balance for the foreseeable future. I'm starting to think that maintenance is actually harder than losing!

Next time, just split the sundae - there were conveniently 2 of you. (Even pregnant, 1350 calories for 1 dessert has got to be excessive for her too).

ETA: although I guess that might not satisfactorily fix her milkshake craving...so nevermind.

Or just toss out half when you get it; or dump half the ice cream, and save half the brownie for another day,...

pennygm72

I had a similar incident the other day, I've only been in maintenance for a few weeks and still have to eat very low fat as awaiting gallbladder removal, I've been waiting since Jan 17 but surgery is finally booked for a couple of weeks time. My team at work had booked a local restaurant for our Christmas lunch and emailed out the menu, I went through the menu and nothing appealed at all, all very high calorie and high fat food and my mouth didn't water one bit, in fact I felt a little ill. When the time comes I am sure I'll find something I want to eat but I was surprised at my response to the thought of eating foods that I haven't been able to eat for almost 10 months.

nowine4me

I think you made a good choice. Assuming you go to this joint occasionally, study the menu and have a plan for next time. Then stick with it. Perhaps in the 300-400 calorie range. Might be as easy as mixing the brownies. That's a nice splurge, but doesn't bust the whole week.

We go to the same places a lot, so I have "built" my menu for each in the meals tab. I get pretty much the same thing so it's already logged. The only variable may be 1 or 2 glasses of wine depending on my "budget"

It's so much more difficult to have to make spur of the moment choices. You probably have enough chaos at the moment without having to decide on what type of Sundae.

riffraff2112

I know exactly how you feel. Feeling guilty about eating is a slippery slope to an unhealthy relationship with food. I am kind of an all or nothing kind of guy. Letting myself eat a snack that is almost triple the calories of a normal meal would be tough for me with my present mindset also.
If I choose to eat something like a sunday, it usually leads to more sundays! So the best advice I can offer has been stated above. Have a smaller cone, or eat half and toss the rest.

richardgavel

I understand how you feel. I find it hard to indulge on long run days like today (10 miles). There's just something that says I'm wasting the effort of a good long run if it's spent on something like a 1000 calorie sundae.

nicholethompson24

I can relate - I hate to waste food so even splitting it in half would be tough. However, someone once told me that you should think of it as you are paying for the portion you want, and that the restaurant should feel bad for serving such a high calorie item. This has helped me mentally with being okay with not eating everything that is served to me.

misnomer1

richardgavel wrote: »

I understand how you feel. I find it hard to indulge on long run days like today (10 miles). There's just something that says I'm wasting the effort of a good long run if it's spent on something like a 1000 calorie sundae.

If one is in maintenance, they should have the mindset "I ran 10 miles today, surely I deserve that 1300kcal sundae". What's the point otherwise?

sijomial

richardgavel wrote: »

I understand how you feel. I find it hard to indulge on long run days like today (10 miles). There's just something that says I'm wasting the effort of a good long run if it's spent on something like a 1000 calorie sundae.

I don't get that at all - isn't the point of doing a 10 mile run to be a better runner?
To do that you need to fuel yourself.

Even if the point of the run is simply to enjoy the run then wouldn't enjoying the run and enjoying the sundae afterwards be twice the enjoyment?

HappyGrape

Flip, 1300 calories in one drink! I am looking forward for time when we have more calories published here too.

I just think you can get a lot more very enjoyable options for 1300. It's like saving hard to have some cash for emergencies, not wanting to blow all your savings on super fancy car you don't really need. There is balance between the calories you are willing to use as treat, and what is enjoyable. You don't have to buy the most expensive car, but you don't need to live on celery either. Perhaps ice cream for 300 calories, or piece of cake for 600 can bring you the enjoyment without getting your bank account empty

You did well.

AnnPT77

Happiness is one of my goals in maintenance, alongside weight maintenance, fitness, nutrition, specific athletic goals, social celebration, etc. Guilt and regret aren't goals. Sometimes all those things are complicated to balance, but sometimes I do choose a food splurge. Tastes - including what's a fun splurge - do change, though. If the calories don't seem worth the happiness + tastiness + nutrition + satiation, no reason to eat it.

But, if you're consistently under true maintenance calories, athletic performance will suffer, and it's not the path to best physical health. Guilt about food that fits within goals (over time) may not be the best path to psychological health, either. Just considerations.

As you say: Balance.

JoeCWV

What really happened is you decided you were not in the mood for ice cream. No big deal. I often decide against what I initially thought I wanted. Sometimes I see the calorie count and decide I don't want the thing that badly. Like another person commented, you are over-thinking this.

I got a little out of control last winter and gained five pounds over my top maintenance number. It's taken all summer to lose just three pounds. I still have two more to get back into my range. My point is. Keep your will strong. It is so easy to cut loose and it will only take a few months to get above your range.

With your current thought process you should do well in maintenance. One day the 1350 calorie sundae will be just what you want, and it will have been worth the wait.