Quick tips on how NOT to sabotage your girlfriend

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taunto
taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
in Chit-Chat
Men get confused easily so I decided to make a small list of things we can do to not sabotage our girlfriends diets

- Anytime she finds your secret stash of cheese or meat or cheetos or chocolate or anything that a human should be eating, smack her (and not in a fun way, feel free to go all Cris Brown on her or you're not being supportive) and tell her "NO!" And then grab some oatmeal and salad and shove it down her throat. You're marriage material if you make "Moo. Moooo!" sounds while feeding her salad

- Don't eat in front of her. Or drink. Or breath. Why are you even near her? Get the hell away from her man. What do you think she is... your girlfriend?

- Anytime she is on her diet kick, it is your responsibility to throw out all of your lifestyle, your own diet and workouts and devote all of your focus, energy and money towards her. She's worth it. You aren't. Remember that you worthless male species.

Feel free to add some more. I am a man after all and probably didn't get them all.
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Replies

  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
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    Nope, I think you got them all!!!












    Hi Taunto! :flowerforyou:
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    Solid advice
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
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    Will you marry me, taunto?
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    are they allowed around us for the uh, play time?? Or, should we find a side piece for that?
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    lmfao...
    hey-youre-awesome-1791-1232679844-0_zps8c807acb.jpg
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,820 Member
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    Finally! Somebody gets it!!
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    chris-brown.jpg
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    :heart: you taunto! lmao
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    this pretty much covers it.....start at 1:28
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M902ZJHzaLE
    \m/
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    are they allowed around us for the uh, play time?? Or, should we find a side piece for that?

    Only after they refused to let you eat while calling you "Don't eat that twinkie, piggy. I love you piggy. Don't eat it!" That deserves some playing around I think.
  • Sonj1973
    Sonj1973 Posts: 188 Member
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    are they allowed around us for the uh, play time?? Or, should we find a side piece for that?

    rofl...:)
  • PepperWorm
    PepperWorm Posts: 1,206
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    10/10, would take advice.
  • cmurphy252
    cmurphy252 Posts: 279 Member
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    LOL :laugh: !
  • MissJacquelineN
    MissJacquelineN Posts: 175 Member
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    Perfect advise.
  • UnleashingLovely
    UnleashingLovely Posts: 205
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    Don't forget to be fat and look as disgusting as possible so they don't feel bad about themselves.

    ETA: But dat betch still fat.... She gotta know it.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I think you missed "reinforce her perception that she is FAT, regardless if its true or not"

    If you don't..you're sabotaging her 'journey' :laugh:
  • latenitelucy
    latenitelucy Posts: 1,314 Member
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    Ummmmm...did you just acknowledge that there was another woman in the room/building/5 mile radius cause she might be prettier/skinnier/walking and breathing.
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
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    robert-downey-jr-gifs-16.gif
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
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    You really should address the age old question Do I look fat in this?
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
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    Be supportive by encouraging her to workout. Wake her up every morning @ 4:30am with her workout clothes and shoes in hand, saying "baby, "Buns of Steel" is already in the DVD player, and I have your 5-mile run route mapped out for you. Love you! You're the greatest."
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