Quick tips on how NOT to sabotage your girlfriend
Replies
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Q. Does this dress make me look like I have a big bum?
A. No, the fact that you're fat makes it look like you have a big bum. The dress has nothing to do with it.0 -
Im pretty sure Taunto can solve world hunger0 -
are they allowed around us for the uh, play time?? Or, should we find a side piece for that?
Only after they refused to let you eat while calling you "Don't eat that twinkie, piggy. I love you piggy. Don't eat it!" That deserves some playing around I think.
and maybe while getting it from behind, you make encouraging noises, too, so she REALLY gets it, i.e. "oink oink, Miss piggy!"0 -
Funny... I'm always the one who gets blamed for diet sabotage in my house!0
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Exactly!
Oh and this....
Just because it's HOT.
*swoon*0 -
Exactly!
Oh and this....
Just because it's HOT.
..................... Oh, Hi! :blushing: Uhm, what was the thread about again?0 -
Funny... I'm always the one who gets blamed for diet sabotage in my house!
reverse psychology...0 -
Exactly!
Oh and this....
Just because it's HOT.
..................... Oh, Hi! :blushing: Uhm, what was the thread about again?
Yes, exactly! I've forgotten what the thread is about! lol
All in all this thread in generally is pure greatness!0 -
smack her (and not in a fun way, feel free to go all Cris Brown on her or you're not being supportive)
Damn...
How about just going gay, so you don't have to worry about a girlfriend?
...Nah.0 -
Exactly!
Oh and this....
Just because it's HOT.
in for the giggle.
Lurking for this! *fans self*0 -
Men get confused easily so I decided to make a small list of things we can do to not sabotage our girlfriends diets
- Anytime she finds your secret stash of cheese or meat or cheetos or chocolate or anything that a human should be eating, smack her (and not in a fun way, feel free to go all Cris Brown on her or you're not being supportive) and tell her "NO!" And then grab some oatmeal and salad and shove it down her throat. You're marriage material if you make "Moo. Moooo!" sounds while feeding her salad
- Don't eat in front of her. Or drink. Or breath. Why are you even near her? Get the hell away from her man. What do you think she is... your girlfriend?
- Anytime she is on her diet kick, it is your responsibility to throw out all of your lifestyle, your own diet and workouts and devote all of your focus, energy and money towards her. She's worth it. You aren't. Remember that you worthless male species.
Feel free to add some more. I am a man after all and probably didn't get them all.
You can always hose her down and yell bad girlfriend when she begs for "bad" foods as well.0 -
You are a genius0
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Funny thread:)0
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You really should address the age old question Do I look fat in this?
The answer is always "of course not!" followed by the crippling fear of knowing that there is no true right answer. Just prepare for the rage.0 -
Q. Does this dress make me look like I have a big bum?
A. No, the fact that you're fat makes it look like you have a big bum. The dress has nothing to do with it.You really should address the age old question Do I look fat in this?
The answer is always "of course not!" followed by the crippling fear of knowing that there is no true right answer. Just prepare for the rage.
There is a correct answer to that age old question.
http://www.finerminds.com/love-relationships/do-these-pants-make-my-*kitten*-look-fat/0 -
You didn't mention age. See I'm 47. So if you really want to motivate her you need to tell her not only is she fat but, getting older by the day as well. Women love that. Really. lol ;-)0
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Hi Taunto! :flowerforyou:0
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this topic just made my day... thanks!0
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ALSO you ought to post pictures of wayyyyy hotter women on the fridge0
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I think you missed the don't ever think, speak, listen to, or look at another woman. If you do, you will make her feel like she is less than that other woman, and she is not your type. This will drive her to eat more chocolate and ice cream as her sefl-esteem takes a nose dive.0
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ALSO you ought to post pictures of wayyyyy hotter women on the fridge
scantily clad hotter women...0 -
ALSO BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING THAT IS TWO SIZES TWO SMALL AND TELL HER SHE CAN HAVE IT WHEN SHE LOSES THE WEIGHT FROM HER CHUBBY FINGERS LOL HEHEHEHE0
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But...but...if you get rid of all of the 'My boyfriend sabotaged me again...' forum posts, you're allowing the forums a higher concentration of 'if all I eat is air for a week, will I go into starvation mode?', 'I ate a slice of banana and i'm over on sugar' and 'I can't see what i'm doing wrong (only to find out they're eating >1000 cals/day)' posts.
Don't say I didn't warn ya!0 -
Will have to show the bf this post. I doubt it will do any good, though.0
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Will you marry me, taunto?
This. :flowerforyou:0 -
How about offering your **** to help her purge the food she just ate?
Too far?0 -
How about offering your **** to help her purge the food she just ate?
Too far?
Yeah just a little too far.0 -
Will you marry me, taunto?
This. :flowerforyou:
No, I wish he was mine :flowerforyou:0 -
Just tell her how hot her frienda are and how you wished she looked like them. Then suggest inviting them over for a BBQ and hot tub party.0
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