Quick tips on how NOT to sabotage your girlfriend

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  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    lmfao...
    hey-youre-awesome-1791-1232679844-0_zps8c807acb.jpg

    Great now I miss PBJ!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Men get confused easily so I decided to make a small list of things we can do to not sabotage our girlfriends diets

    - Anytime she finds your secret stash of cheese or meat or cheetos or chocolate or anything that a human should be eating, smack her (and not in a fun way, feel free to go all Cris Brown on her or you're not being supportive) and tell her "NO!" And then grab some oatmeal and salad and shove it down her throat. You're marriage material if you make "Moo. Moooo!" sounds while feeding her salad

    - Don't eat in front of her. Or drink. Or breath. Why are you even near her? Get the hell away from her man. What do you think she is... your girlfriend?

    - Anytime she is on her diet kick, it is your responsibility to throw out all of your lifestyle, your own diet and workouts and devote all of your focus, energy and money towards her. She's worth it. You aren't. Remember that you worthless male species.

    Feel free to add some more. I am a man after all and probably didn't get them all.
    FINALLY someone gets it!
  • Lindaspencer
    Lindaspencer Posts: 226 Member
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    lmfao - almost spit out my coffee when i read the chris brown part - lol :)
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
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    One more: you gotta maintain that balance between being too fat that you don't provide a good example, and being too fit that you make her look like a pregnant hippo in comparison. I think the ideal BF for this purpose is 22.3758%
  • DainaLC
    DainaLC Posts: 18,937 Member
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    If you tell her she's looks thinner, get ready to hand over the credit card! She'll need a whole new wardrobe!!
  • LePetitCochon
    LePetitCochon Posts: 284
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    Exactly!

    Oh and this....

    Just because it's HOT.

    tumblr_mh41ooZR1p1rxb258o2_500.gif
  • RachelX04
    RachelX04 Posts: 1,123 Member
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    ROFLMAO.. great post
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    You missed:

    Don't lose weight faster than her - it makes her feel bad.
    Don't lose weight slower than her - because it obviously means you are sneaking treats behind her back.
    Don't lose weight at the same rate as her - because all that lifting you do makes you look better for it than she does and that's just not fair, dammit.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I have no idea what's going on in this thread...

    ...(probably because I'm a guy).



    I'm just here for advice on women...

    ...from Taunto.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    You really should address the age old question Do I look fat in this?

    answer: yes, eat a salad, fatty!
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    Q. Does this dress make me look like I have a big bum?
    A. No, the fact that you're fat makes it look like you have a big bum. The dress has nothing to do with it.
  • mommabenefield
    mommabenefield Posts: 1,329 Member
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    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRgf2SiHbS2k6LRh4oxQV2dQzaa2v1P5qoWYWL3HT3dKJaen5Oz-g

    Im pretty sure Taunto can solve world hunger
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    are they allowed around us for the uh, play time?? Or, should we find a side piece for that?

    Only after they refused to let you eat while calling you "Don't eat that twinkie, piggy. I love you piggy. Don't eat it!" That deserves some playing around I think.

    and maybe while getting it from behind, you make encouraging noises, too, so she REALLY gets it, i.e. "oink oink, Miss piggy!"
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
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    Funny... I'm always the one who gets blamed for diet sabotage in my house!
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    tumblr_m6h84mAoMS1rwcc6bo1_500.gif
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    Exactly!

    Oh and this....

    Just because it's HOT.

    tumblr_mh41ooZR1p1rxb258o2_500.gif

    *swoon*
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
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    Exactly!

    Oh and this....

    Just because it's HOT.

    tumblr_mh41ooZR1p1rxb258o2_500.gif

    ..................... Oh, Hi! :blushing: Uhm, what was the thread about again?
  • latenitelucy
    latenitelucy Posts: 1,314 Member
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    Funny... I'm always the one who gets blamed for diet sabotage in my house!

    reverse psychology...:wink:
  • kikionna4
    kikionna4 Posts: 308
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    Exactly!

    Oh and this....

    Just because it's HOT.

    tumblr_mh41ooZR1p1rxb258o2_500.gif

    ..................... Oh, Hi! :blushing: Uhm, what was the thread about again?

    Yes, exactly! I've forgotten what the thread is about! ;) lol

    All in all this thread in generally is pure greatness!
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    smack her (and not in a fun way, feel free to go all Cris Brown on her or you're not being supportive)


    Damn...

    How about just going gay, so you don't have to worry about a girlfriend?










    ...Nah.
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