Clutter and messiness - is it related to overeating?

bebeisfit

I've never been the best at housekeeping, but in the past (I'm 55 yrs old), I did maintain an ok household, not the best, but I cleaned up every week and did my dishes each night.

Over the past few years, yes years, I've noticed that I'm a messy person. I haven't washed the floors in a few months, but I've swept. My bathroom is a mess and I am totally cluttered, I take things out, but don't return them right away. Mail goes unopened - nearly all my bills are paid automatically, but I've missed out on a few things. I clean the cat box daily and I toss out my garbage every day, so I don't have rotting food sitting around, but it can take a couple of days to do the dishes.

I have a hard time throwing things away. We cleaned out my mom's house before selling and I came home with bags of memorabilia - old report cards, class photos and some trinkets. They sit in bags, littered throughout the house.

I've stopped inviting people over because of the mess. And next week I have a friend coming over to look in on my kitty - and I am mortified. Of course, I won't lose friends because of it, but I'd like to be proud of my home.

How do I even get started?? And in your opinion, does this have an adverse affect on weightloss.

I had maintained an 80lb weight loss for a few years, and since turning 50, I let 20lbs creep back on. I lost most of it in 2016, but gained 15 back in 2017.

Perhaps I know the answer..but thought I'd reach out and see if someone has some tips. Thanks

JaydedMiss

unexpected answer....yeah it effected my weightloss lol.

To me if I have a sink full of dishes im more likely to turn to worse foods (frozen lasagna vs cooking myself up a solid fresh meal) I love having all new fresh dishes to use -I go through alot even in basic meals for weighing and cooking and flipping and cutting etc

I sleep beter when i curl up in bed look around and everything is clean. Then i wake happier and am more likely to get up happy and get moving when i have all clean surfaces. Make a morning smoothie or something have all clean dishes rinse them up as i go and feel very productive and happy. Such simple things make or break my moods lol.

Not to mention, If im tripping and breaking my foot on old piles of laundry, m not likely to be getting much exercise in hah.

Overall its 1 less thing to worry about, The worry of cleaning or not showing your house or going home to a huge mess is 10000x worse thn taking the time to clean it and maintain it even at a slightly cleaner level. Baby steps. With all your energy spent worrying about cleaning your place or avoiding people coming over, Where will you get the energy to care for yourself/exercise/cook etc

Took some time, I have bad hoarder tendencies but im glad I have finally gotten my place to a base level clean, I feel beter about my life overall this way. Definatly helped my mindset of self love

bebeisfit

TeacupsAndToning wrote: »

I think most of the time it has less to do with overeating and more with an individual's mindset; whether it be caused by depression, apathy, weight gain, whatever.

But perhaps in your case that's what started it. Has your weight gain really affected how you feel about yourself and your take on life?

Hmmm, I battled depression for a while - took meds, then things turned around. Right now, no, I'm not happy with the way I look, I don't think my depression is as severe as it was back then. 7 years ago, I had a new friend say I had 'swaggar'. That when she met me, I oozed confidence. I was successful at work, ran races and I thought I looked good. Now, I can't say the same. Depression is definitely part of the equation. But I feel like it's a vicious cycle... I don't exercise, so I overeat, then I sit on the couch, I look around at the tasks and feel it's too much to overcome. I'd like to sell my condo next year - and I'm a real estate agent, so I know I have a lot of work to do.

hydechildcare

Start with 30 minutes a night. That is what my husband and I have started in the last 2 months. It makes it not as overwhelming to go through and get rid of stuff if you one do it in short periods of time. Also that mail. I am so bad about setting it down. Now I take it straight to the recyclable bin and go through it. We both had a lot of items we had from our childhood. We each got a bin to store the items we wanted the most in them and the rest we got rid of. We have a bin of old toys and baby clothes for our kids one day. The extra 30 minutes of work also helped raise my steps from 7,000 to 10,500 per day. Start small!

nutmegoreo

I think there is some truth to the idea that your surroundings mirrors you insides.

Look into the books by author Geneen Roth. Something that I've also found really helpful in sorting and organizing is a website called UnF***YourHabitat. If you search for UFYH, it should come up. There is foul language throughout, but it gives some no nonsense approaches to cleaning (including checklists) for those who are dealing with depression. I've used it a few times, and always start feeling more accomplished and less overwhelmed by clutter.

Is there stuff you can get rid of? Watch some videos on YouTube on minimalism. I'm not suggesting going to the same extreme, but to just think about what you have in your surroundings which is useful and what adds to the sense of being overwhelmed. I have been selling and donating stuff and feeling a great sense of relief as it leaves. It's amazing how much you can live without. Unless it is a really sentimental item, I have been letting it go. The memories are not in the items themselves.

I hope some of this is helpful. It's not just you, and you can change it.

Running_and_Coffee

If I don't keep up with the dishes, I won't have the tools I need to cook healthy, if my fridge is a mess, I won't find the fruit fruits/veggies before they spoil, if I don't keep up with the laundry, I'll run out of clean workout clothes. Not sure there is a direct correlation, but I can't imagine following my lifestyle if my kitchen & laundry at the very least weren't in order....

MegaMooseEsq

I've found that keeping my home in order has been part and parcel with losing weight and getting more exercise, which also goes along with overall improvements in my mental health. I realized that I'd been sitting in place for almost two years trying to get my career off of the ground, and a lot of other things in my life had suffered. I decided to take control of the things within my power, with my health and my environment being the big ones. I think that progress in each area has helped the other, although I can't give enough credit to starting on an anti-anxiety medication in the spring. Obviously different people have different priorities, but I know that I consider my home an extension of myself, so feeling good about one helps me feel good about the other, and vice versa.

MsMaeFlowers

I get anxious and stressed once my house passes a certain level of mess. I can't even work when it gets like that, so I can imagine it would affect eating as well.

Just pick the smallest room and start there. Or the cleanest one. That's what I do. It usually jump starts my cleaning mode once something is sparkling again. (I usually pick the bathroom as it's a tiny 3 piece and doesn't require much work) Just focus on 1 thing at a time, and just keep going. Put something away. Then something else. Keep at it and suddenly it will be done. Fast upbeat music helps too.

Brabo_Grip

I treat cleaning up/household chores as a "bonus" workout for the day. I put my workout tunes on and try to clean at a faster pace and try to get my heart racing we elevated a bit. Voila - help with fitness and the cleaning g is done quicker, plus the bonus mental health. ( I hate clutter and seemed to be the only one in the house that cares, so I always have plenty of "bonus workouts.")

SuzySunshine99

For some people, there can definitely be a connection. Someone who is prone to obsessive behavior can see this arise in many different aspects of their lives. Hording and the inability to throw things away can be obsessive behavior. Overeating can be obsessive behavior. I'm not about to diagnose you with OCD, but if it is having a negative impact on your life (like not being able to have friends over), then it may be worth talking to your doctor or a mental health professional. Obsessive behavior can get worse over time if it's not treated.

kenyonhaff

While not directly connected you already see a messy environment can certainly hinder weight loss.

For one it takes a certain level of calm and clarity to focus on changing behaviors. A filthy chaotic environment does not support that.

Also it gets in the way of making healthy meals. If there is no counterspace or clean utensils or whatever there is a tendency to rely on frozen dinners ot takeout.

Beyond depression filth clutter and so on hinder weight loss.

bebeisfit

Thanks so much for the feedback. I read Maria Kondo' s book and it was just too intense to wrap my head around. Doing it all at once is too daunting.

I wish I was someone who couldn't live the clutter. I thrive on chaos sometimes so there's that. I've always been a procrastinator and have paid dearly in missed deadlines, buying duplicate items and spent many minutes searching for keys and paperwork.

But the 30 minutes at a time is a good start. And I've done that before. starting with the cleanest or smallest room is a good plan as well. I briefly looked at the UFYH site and its brilliant. I tend to over analyze things so much that it paralyses me.

As for OCD..maybe. Health professional? I have crappy insurance so that may need to wait.

Good discussion and all great ideas. Thanks again. The KISS approach is best for me. Sometimes I need a push to get me started, like my friend coming over next week.

JaydedMiss

bebeisfit wrote: »

Thanks so much for the feedback. I read Maria Kondo' s book and it was just too intense to wrap my head around. Doing it all at once is too daunting.

I wish I was someone who couldn't live the clutter. I thrive on chaos sometimes so there's that. I've always been a procrastinator and have paid dearly in missed deadlines, buying duplicate items and spent many minutes searching for keys and paperwork.

But the 30 minutes at a time is a good start. And I've done that before. starting with the cleanest or smallest room is a good plan as well. I briefly looked at the UFYH site and its brilliant. I tend to over analyze things so much that it paralyses me.

As for OCD..maybe. Health professional? I have crappy insurance so that may need to wait.

Good discussion and all great ideas. Thanks again. The KISS approach is best for me. Sometimes I need a push to get me started, like my friend coming over next week.

Just focus on not letting it get worse. Aslong as it doesnt get worse every tiny thing you do like do your dish after dinner etc...All adds up. It will get clean if it doesnt get worse Not letting it get worse is the easiest commitment

nutmegoreo

bebeisfit wrote: »

Thanks so much for the feedback. I read Maria Kondo' s book and it was just too intense to wrap my head around. Doing it all at once is too daunting.

I wish I was someone who couldn't live the clutter. I thrive on chaos sometimes so there's that. I've always been a procrastinator and have paid dearly in missed deadlines, buying duplicate items and spent many minutes searching for keys and paperwork.

But the 30 minutes at a time is a good start. And I've done that before. starting with the cleanest or smallest room is a good plan as well. I briefly looked at the UFYH site and its brilliant. I tend to over analyze things so much that it paralyses me.

As for OCD..maybe. Health professional? I have crappy insurance so that may need to wait.

Good discussion and all great ideas. Thanks again. The KISS approach is best for me. Sometimes I need a push to get me started, like my friend coming over next week.

I used to think I thrive on chaos too. Turns out that as I calm my environment, my mind would calm as well. It was a really different feeling, and took some getting used to. I find, for me, it's like a pendulum swing. I'm just trying to keep it more on the less chaotic side. The cost can be pretty high. I'm also realizing how much time and money I've wasted on completely useless stuff. So getting rid of that stuff has helped to lighten the frustration I felt when I looked at it.

aylajane

I am also one who uses housecleaning/organizing as exercise. Loud music, dancing along. I even plan "projects" - make a list of smaller individual tasks (like mopping kitchen floor, cleaning toilet bowl, scrubbing shower, organizing a particular closet, etc) and write next to them about how much time you think it would take you. Each day, look at how much time you have to "exercise" that day and pick a project that matches. You can always do more if you want

Also, I have found that trying to "clean" in the middle of a mess is daunting and discouraging. If you are surrounded by the mess, it is hard to spend a few minutes and even look like you made an impact. So my first suggestion is to get some boxes or buckets and sweep through the room tossing everything "clutter" off floors , tables, couches, etc into those boxes. Put them in an unused part of another room if possible, or stack them neatly in a corner if not. Then the room is "uncluttered" - you can see the furniture! and the floor. NOW work on cleaning it. When it is clean, then start bringing out one box at a time (never more than one) and going through it, putting things where they go or giving them away. My house always has a "giveaway" pile in one corner. Everyone who walks in the house is told to go look through it and take anything they want. Eventually I take stuff no one wants to goodwill. We also have boxes with peoples names on them if we want to give things to them (i.e. i have a box for my brother - when I find things I think he will like or are from our childhood, I put in his box until he comes over).

Iamnotasenior

Your mindset is definitely affected by clutter. For me, it can add to a depressed state of mind and a feeling of being overwhelmed and helpless. One thing that can help is to set small goals for dealing with the clutter and allowing yourself to "release" things that you only have because you feel "obligated" to keep them. The bags of school memorabilia, etc. would be a great place to start. Set a goal of going through one bag per week with the goal of getting rid of only the most irreplaceable and important items. Once you go through those bags, then start on another area of your home, like a closet or dresser. Set some ground rules like for instance, if you haven't used or worn something in the past year, either donate it, sell it or trash it. Each time you clean out a corner or cupboard in your house, reward yourself with something fun, like a movie night with friends, a trip to the spa, etc.

JustAnotherOneOfThoseGirls

I wouldn't say untidyness is linked to overeating per se, as I think it's an outwards sign of many issues. My father is overweight and struggles with food, and he's very messy. My mother has OCD and anxiety, and she's messy. I have depression and EDNOS, and I'm messy. I just think that when you're dealing with other issues, especially issues that seem more important, it can be overwhelming to do chores on top of that. I have to tell myself to do little things everyday to not let the mess build - I love having a cup of tea and a biscuit in the evenings, but will not allow myself to have it until the dishes are done, and as soon as I take clothes off they're hung up or put in the hamper straight away, otherwise they soon build up on the floor.
And also, I've been underweight and a healthy weight, and no matter my weight I'm messy, so I don't think it's exclusively overeating

AnnPT77

I think this is all very individual, and if - as it sounds - you feel negative and out of control about the untidiness, then yes, you need to do something differently, and there were some good, practical ideas offered.

That said, I feel compelled to offer a minority report. The moralistic, "uncluttered surroundings make us feel good", "clutter is a sign of mental disorder" thinking that's so common now just makes me eye-roll.

The idea that our homes all need to be carefully-curated collections of lovely and loved items (gleaming and tastefully arranged), or there's something wrong with us, strikes me as very odd. If that makes a particular person(s) happy, swell. But don't try to make it an obligatory universal.

To me, a house is a big tool for living, and we each choose how we want to live. Spare surroundings make me twitchy. My house is basically an untidy craft studio. That works for me. Kondo-think doesn't.

I'm sane, responsible, rational, calm, happy . . . and very untidy.

EatingAndKnitting

If my kitchen is messy (and it usually is, I'm working on it. It's better than it was, but there's room for improvement) I find it hard to cook healthy meals sure to dishes and pans being dirty.

This leads me to overcooking (and then overeating) portions of pasta. This is bad for my blood sugar and my waistline, because I'm not satisfied with small portions of pasta.

Or I get frustrated and go out for dinner, if we have the money. That's often Subway, but my favorite sandwich there is the chicken bacon ranch melt, and a footlong is over a thousand calories. I try to get the veggie or a plain chicken breast, but I can't always not give in to temptation.

So for me, yes. There is a factor in my overeating. The rest of the house? No. I'm not naturally a neat person and there's no one to impress. That's not to say the place is filthy, but it's cluttered and messy.

KateTii

For me, a messy house/space usually means i'm incredibly busy - when I have a lot of work (2 jobs) and university study, there isn't much time left for housework. If I didn't have meals frozen ready to reheat, I probably would turn to easier options - which usually is overeating (chips, takeaway etc.)

Heather4448

Ask your friends to help you. You say you’re mortified, but true friends won’t judge you for a messy house. Many hands make light work.