Overweight kids
want2behappy31
Posts: 178 Member
My daughter is 8 and in 3rd grade. I haven't put her on the scale in awhile because I don't want her to grow up thinking she is always to fat. Last time however she was about 82 pounds. My 11 year old daughter is only 68. Anyway yesterday my 8 year old went to put on a pair of shorts that she has worn earlier in the summer and they wouldn't fit. Both of my daughters are in the same size but now I'm worried that my 8 year is bigger. Any tips or suggestions on helping her lose some weight but not making her feel bad about herself? I'm thinking about having her walk with me. I also need to learn to tell her NO when she wants junk food. I went yesterday and bought a lot of fruits. I know I'm not a good role model as far as weight since I am big myself but I'm working on it and don't want this for my kids!
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My sister and I were both overweight when we were kids. My sister is 4 years younger than me, but was always the same size or bigger. As adults, she is taller and has a larger frame.
The best thing my mom could have done to help with my weight problem would have been to just not bring the junk food into the house. It's hard for kids to understand appropriate portion control. I definitely was active, and unlimited access to calorie dense, low nutritent rich foods was to blame for my weight problem.21 -
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I tried to delete the one in motivation/support because I thought this group would be a better but it wouldn't allow me to. I tried right after I posted it.suzannesimmons3 wrote: »FYI. For next time Multiple posting of the same topic is frowned upon on the sites.
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Get her into an activity. I signed my teens up for karate. Here it's $70 a month for first child and $55 for second. $45 for each additional family member..and classes are every Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Or see how much dancing is or maybe a sport.
Next I'd cut way back on junk. Hard to get fat on veggies.. I wouldn't put them on a diet but being the parent I would be a lot more health conscious for them and start training them now so they don't know the struggle I grew up with and fight with now. Give them the tools to take control of their own health. Just don't tell them that's what you are doing.6 -
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Get them outside, away from the electronics. Idk what you feed them, but that probably isn't helping either. I see this all the time with different sports that I coach. Most kids are a reflection of their parents...sorry to be harsh.11
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I second seeing a pediatrician before doing anything.
It seems that you plan on singling out the one child for extra activity and attention. Why don't you get both kids involved? Take them both walking, bike riding, sports etc. Feed them both the same healthy foods. It could help avoid a lot of resentment and jealousy down the road.17 -
Since you need to watch what you're eating why don't you use this as an opportunity for the whole family to learn something? Buy more veggies, experiment with different ways of cooking them, and involve your children. Learning to cook, weigh and portion is very useful for their future. Cooking classes together might be another way to go. Buy fewer sweets and more fruits. There are so many things you can do.6
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Talk to the doctor. Unless a kid is greatly overweight, it's generally better to let them grow into their weight rather than make them shrink into what their weight should be. But talk to the doctor.7
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Get them outside, away from the electronics. Idk what you feed them, but that probably isn't helping either. I see this all the time with different sports that I coach. Most kids are a reflection of their parents...sorry to be harsh.
Harsh but true. You rarely see obese kids with healthy weight parents.. But you see a lot of obese kids with obese parents. Part of it is due to the parents not understanding how diet and weight work.. But I have also heard some moms say that it's out of guilt. They don't want to be a hypocrite. They get McD's then their kids get McD's. It's ok to be a hypocrite. If it's for your children's health, it's ok to say no even if you are struggling to say no to yourself. Then explain why. They may get mad now, but they will thank you when they hit those dating years.
My daughter is 15, 5 foot, and 120 pounds.. She has 39 inch hips!
How... She doesn't look like she does at all.. She has the entire family in shock. All she has to say for herself is, "Squatses makes booties!" She likes doing squats.. 10 -
My niece is obese. She was bigger and bigger every time I went home to visit at 2 yr intervals. Her mother kept saying that her pediatrician said she was fine and very active. I'd see her walking around with bags of candy. I kept my mouth shut. Now I'm sorry I didn't speak up. She became very obese, depressed, had surgery and now is obese again. Her life is a mess.3
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snowflake954 wrote: »My niece is obese. She was bigger and bigger every time I went home to visit at 2 yr intervals. Her mother kept saying that her pediatrician said she was fine and very active. I'd see her walking around with bags of candy. I kept my mouth shut. Now I'm sorry I didn't speak up. She became very obese, depressed, had surgery and now is obese again. Her life is a mess.
That's sad and shame on that pediatrician! And mom!7 -
I was always bigger than my older sister growing up. I over took her when I was eight. I am also 10 inches taller than her. I didn't become overweight until I was a teen with a car. First thing to start would be taking away the junk foods. Maybe not eliminate them completely because when they get out that is the first thing they will want but make it a treat. I don't drink pop often. Mostly only at my grandpa's. When I was a kid every Friday grandpa would come over for movie night and we would get pop. Or you could try buying less each shopping trip and when you are out you are out. She will learn she needs to spread the junk through the week. I had a friend whose parents would not keep junk food in the house. Every thing was home made no chips, pop, candy, or heat up in the microwave foods. We lived together for a year after moving out of our parents house. I could not get him to eat a home cooked meal. His diet consist of frozen pizza, McDonald, chips, pop, and other junk. Teach moderation. Try family bonding time by taking walks in the evenings or going out side a kicking a ball around. Good luck.4
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I applaud your concern for your daughter. I agree you don't want to make her paranoid about her weight but why not try some healthier alternatives like cooking healthy food at home? I recommend the "Eat, Shrink and be Merry" cookbook. It's easy and tasty (they also have a website). You could cook with the kids and they would have some mom time as well as learn some healthier methods for making a meal. Kids tend to be more willing to eat what they made because they are proud of their work. I love the idea of getting them out walking with you. Both of your daughters would benefit from the exercise and it gives you a chance to get them talking which is invaluable as they get older. Try to engage both of them in the conversation. I mentioned that because I had one chatterbox (the eldest) and my younger son often felt left out. If the kids aren't keen on walking try geocaching. There are apps for it and most kids enjoy it because it's like a treasure hunt.7
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I agree with most of these comments. Definitely children are a reflection of us. Take the junk food out of the house, not just for her but for everyone. You don't necessarily want to single one child out because that could lead to closet eating, anxiety, anything really. From there do activities together. Get outside, get moving. limit the screen time and electronics. Have them help you cook, have them help you do things around the home. Whatever it is keep them active. Both of them, and yourself.
And yes, see the pediatrician because you never know it could be something medical.7 -
Kids eating behavior is modeled after their parents eating behavior in most cases when it comes to overweight kids. Remember, kids learn from what the see and experience.want2behappy31 wrote: »My daughter is 8 and in 3rd grade. I haven't put her on the scale in awhile because I don't want her to grow up thinking she is always to fat. Last time however she was about 82 pounds. My 11 year old daughter is only 68. Anyway yesterday my 8 year old went to put on a pair of shorts that she has worn earlier in the summer and they wouldn't fit. Both of my daughters are in the same size but now I'm worried that my 8 year is bigger. Any tips or suggestions on helping her lose some weight but not making her feel bad about herself? I'm thinking about having her walk with me. I also need to learn to tell her NO when she wants junk food. I went yesterday and bought a lot of fruits. I know I'm not a good role model as far as weight since I am big myself but I'm working on it and don't want this for my kids!
You have to set the example and live by it. It's like telling a kid to not drink or smoke, but the parent does it anyway.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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It doesn't HAVE to be a diet. If the kid is overweight, they just need to eat less food.suzannesimmons3 wrote: »You should see your children's paediatric doctor for advice or referal to a specialist diatician. children shouldn't be put on diets they need a certain amount of bulk for growth spurts.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 9 -
Stop buying junk. Make balanced meals. Encourage her to be active (get a dog, sign her in sports, go for walks/hikes on the week end). Don't always buy/bring snacks when you go out, except fruit. Switch to water.
I was that obese kid who wasn't very active and just loved eating junk, so I know it's not always easy.5 -
It can be deleted if you "report" it under moderation. Just give the reason why you want to delete it.want2behappy31 wrote: »
I tried to delete the one in motivation/support because I thought this group would be a better but it wouldn't allow me to. I tried right after I posted it.suzannesimmons3 wrote: »FYI. For next time Multiple posting of the same topic is frowned upon on the sites.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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OP, as someone who was a fat kid I urge you to start teaching your kids about nutrition now, whilst they're young and impressionable! My parents have unhealthy relationships with food, my dad is a type 2 diabetic and a secret eater whilst my mum eats about half a meal a day (if that) and drinks way too much. Seeing this kind of behaviour growing up meant I had no clues on portion control and also caused me to see food negatively, like it was something to feel guilty about. I was allowed to eat sweet treats to excess and sugary drinks were always available. As a result, I spent the majority of my childhood feeling miserable because I was fat and got bullied for being so, this still affects me now as an adult. Looking back on my childhood, I could have really done with someone modelling some good behaviour and teaching me how to eat healthily and sensibly. My reason for sharing this is because I dont want any other child to ever feel the way I did and I personally believe that children should be taught from a young age.
I think it is great you want to help your children and I wish you every success
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I would take her in for a "check up" they automatically weigh them and get their height. Don't tell her she is being taken in for her weight. As a kid who was put on diets it is the worst feeling. Keep as much junk food as possible out of the house. I understand if she takes her lunch to school to have a treat just make sure they are kept in a place that she isn't eating them after school as a snack. Set aside a evening or weekend date with her for a movie night and give her a little something sweet for your date night. Taking everything away is not going to work, I would go to my friend's house and just go to town on their snacks.
I am sure at this point she may have been teased about her weight. It only gets worse the older they get. Middle School was the worse, kids lived to make my day hell. I am glad you're tackling this issue now. But like I said don't let her know she is on a diet. Just shop smarter.2 -
georgyporcupine wrote: »OP, as someone who was a fat kid I urge you to start teaching your kids about nutrition now, whilst they're young and impressionable! My parents have unhealthy relationships with food, my dad is a type 2 diabetic and a secret eater whilst my mum eats about half a meal a day (if that) and drinks way too much. Seeing this kind of behaviour growing up meant I had no clues on portion control and also caused me to see food negatively, like it was something to feel guilty about. I was allowed to eat sweet treats to excess and sugary drinks were always available. As a result, I spent the majority of my childhood feeling miserable because I was fat and got bullied for being so, this still affects me now as an adult. Looking back on my childhood, I could have really done with someone modelling some good behaviour and teaching me how to eat healthily and sensibly. My reason for sharing this is because I dont want any other child to ever feel the way I did and I personally believe that children should be taught from a young age.
I think it is great you want to help your children and I wish you every success
This is exactly what I think too. Do not let this go on and on. Your child needs to eat less and move more.5 -
We have the same problem with my 11 1/2 year old granddaughter who started gaining weight at around 6 or 7 and now is 5'3" and weighs 140 lbs. and knows she is overweight. We have consulted with her physician and try to teach her to eat good, balanced meals and watch the snacking. However she is very sedentary most of the time even though her mom has always kept her active in swim, dance, & soccer. At home she'd rather sit and play on her phone (my pet peeve). Soon as she gets to my house she wants to make chocolate chip cookies and I feel like the mean grandma always talking to her about watching her calories. At her father's they eat a lot of fast food and she loves it even though we try to teach her to make wise choices. Her step-sisters who live with her half the time are used to eating sugar and whatever junk they want and are as skinny as can be which makes it more difficult. She loves food, good and bad. I notice she is the one that goes back for seconds. I tried to talk her into using MFP, but she isn't mature enough to want to do it. At home her mom does cook good meals, but she does keep junk around because Dad, who is skinny as a rail, likes to eat junk. It is difficult with kids because you don't want to put negative images in their minds, but I don't want her overeating all the time either.8
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I just want to echo what a few others have said. Please, do not tell her you are putting her on a diet. My mom did this to me when I was 5 years old and that set me up for a childhood filled with shame and self-esteem issues. Lead by example. She is only 8 so now is the perfect time to intervene because you can pretty much control what she eats. I wish my mom had done this rather than putting me on the same crash diets she went on. Make healthy foods the only option at home. Junk food should be a treat, not a staple.7
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Whatever you do, do it for both kids! She'll definitely notice if she's the only one asked to go on walks, or who has to limit the junk food.
Talk to both of them about:- healthy, not "thin".
- nutrients and energy, not calories.
- the importance of not over eating,
- don't eat when bored, or sad,
- stop eating before you are stuffed,
- don't stuff yourself because a food is good, you can always have more later,
- "Treat" foods are "sometimes" foods. We don't have them every day, and we don't have them multiple times a day, but "sometimes" is fine.
Increase her activity. Sign them up for sports, get them roller skates, bikes, etc. Increase activity as a family, walks, bike rides, hikes. Limit sedentary time.
And don't worry about her "losing weight". She's still growing. We want her to "grow into" her weight, not lose weight.23 -
Keep junk food out of the house and only buy things in single servings (like one ice cream cone) as a treat after a busy day. Don't talk about diets, just change what you're all eating. Tons of yummy slow cooker recipes and kids will never overeat on veggies or rice. Don't make it seem like a diet.
No pop tarts, no sodas, little juice, NO cereals, nothing sugary. It will help if you all do it together and call it something fun, like a challenge. Who can skip the fastest, who can do more skips than the other, who can jog the fastest to the tree, that sort of thing.
Also, don't be afraid of the scale. My daughter uses mine and I use it only to make sure she's gaining enough weight. It's only used for positive reinforcement - ie "wow look at you, you're growing! 38lbs way to go!".4 -
BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »Whatever you do, do it for both kids! She'll definitely notice if she's the only one asked to go on walks, or who has to limit the junk food.
Talk to both of them about:- healthy, not "thin".
- nutrients and energy, not calories.
- the importance of not over eating,
- don't eat when bored, or sad,
- stop eating before you are stuffed,
- don't stuff yourself because a food is good, you can always have more later,
- "Treat" foods are "sometimes" foods. We don't have them every day, and we don't have them multiple times a day, but "sometimes" is fine.
Increase her activity. Sign them up for sports, get them roller skates, bikes, etc. Increase activity as a family, walks, bike rides, hikes. Limit sedentary time.
And don't worry about her "losing weight". She's still growing. We want her to "grow into" her weight, not lose weight.
This is great advice. My 12 year old is allergic to nuts both eaten and airborne dust from any nut. We decided as a family we will all be nut free.0 -
Keep junk food out of the house and only buy things in single servings (like one ice cream cone) as a treat after a busy day. Don't talk about diets, just change what you're all eating. Tons of yummy slow cooker recipes and kids will never overeat on veggies or rice. Don't make it seem like a diet.
No pop tarts, no sodas, little juice, NO cereals, nothing sugary. It will help if you all do it together and call it something fun, like a challenge. Who can skip the fastest, who can do more skips than the other, who can jog the fastest to the tree, that sort of thing.
Also, don't be afraid of the scale. My daughter uses mine and I use it only to make sure she's gaining enough weight. It's only used for positive reinforcement - ie "wow look at you, you're growing! 38lbs way to go!".
what a sad life that would be for a child!! and that would definitely make it feel like a punishment/diet. as others said, much better to focus on the positives (exercise, sports) and moderation with food - not altogether banishing all "junk".14 -
dwilliamca wrote: »We have the same problem with my 11 1/2 year old granddaughter who started gaining weight at around 6 or 7 and now is 5'3" and weighs 140 lbs. and knows she is overweight. We have consulted with her physician and try to teach her to eat good, balanced meals and watch the snacking. However she is very sedentary most of the time even though her mom has always kept her active in swim, dance, & soccer. At home she'd rather sit and play on her phone (my pet peeve). Soon as she gets to my house she wants to make chocolate chip cookies and I feel like the mean grandma always talking to her about watching her calories. At her father's they eat a lot of fast food and she loves it even though we try to teach her to make wise choices. Her step-sisters who live with her half the time are used to eating sugar and whatever junk they want and are as skinny as can be which makes it more difficult. She loves food, good and bad. I notice she is the one that goes back for seconds. I tried to talk her into using MFP, but she isn't mature enough to want to do it. At home her mom does cook good meals, but she does keep junk around because Dad, who is skinny as a rail, likes to eat junk. It is difficult with kids because you don't want to put negative images in their minds, but I don't want her overeating all the time either.
That's.. not good. She shouldn't be worrying about being fat or told she is over weight by her grandmother or parents. Better to just half the recipes and use alternative ingredients and bake with her silently. Words cut.17
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