Overweight kids
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OP, as someone who was a fat kid I urge you to start teaching your kids about nutrition now, whilst they're young and impressionable! My parents have unhealthy relationships with food, my dad is a type 2 diabetic and a secret eater whilst my mum eats about half a meal a day (if that) and drinks way too much. Seeing this kind of behaviour growing up meant I had no clues on portion control and also caused me to see food negatively, like it was something to feel guilty about. I was allowed to eat sweet treats to excess and sugary drinks were always available. As a result, I spent the majority of my childhood feeling miserable because I was fat and got bullied for being so, this still affects me now as an adult. Looking back on my childhood, I could have really done with someone modelling some good behaviour and teaching me how to eat healthily and sensibly. My reason for sharing this is because I dont want any other child to ever feel the way I did and I personally believe that children should be taught from a young age.
I think it is great you want to help your children and I wish you every success
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I would take her in for a "check up" they automatically weigh them and get their height. Don't tell her she is being taken in for her weight. As a kid who was put on diets it is the worst feeling. Keep as much junk food as possible out of the house. I understand if she takes her lunch to school to have a treat just make sure they are kept in a place that she isn't eating them after school as a snack. Set aside a evening or weekend date with her for a movie night and give her a little something sweet for your date night. Taking everything away is not going to work, I would go to my friend's house and just go to town on their snacks.
I am sure at this point she may have been teased about her weight. It only gets worse the older they get. Middle School was the worse, kids lived to make my day hell. I am glad you're tackling this issue now. But like I said don't let her know she is on a diet. Just shop smarter.2 -
georgyporcupine wrote: »OP, as someone who was a fat kid I urge you to start teaching your kids about nutrition now, whilst they're young and impressionable! My parents have unhealthy relationships with food, my dad is a type 2 diabetic and a secret eater whilst my mum eats about half a meal a day (if that) and drinks way too much. Seeing this kind of behaviour growing up meant I had no clues on portion control and also caused me to see food negatively, like it was something to feel guilty about. I was allowed to eat sweet treats to excess and sugary drinks were always available. As a result, I spent the majority of my childhood feeling miserable because I was fat and got bullied for being so, this still affects me now as an adult. Looking back on my childhood, I could have really done with someone modelling some good behaviour and teaching me how to eat healthily and sensibly. My reason for sharing this is because I dont want any other child to ever feel the way I did and I personally believe that children should be taught from a young age.
I think it is great you want to help your children and I wish you every success
This is exactly what I think too. Do not let this go on and on. Your child needs to eat less and move more.5 -
We have the same problem with my 11 1/2 year old granddaughter who started gaining weight at around 6 or 7 and now is 5'3" and weighs 140 lbs. and knows she is overweight. We have consulted with her physician and try to teach her to eat good, balanced meals and watch the snacking. However she is very sedentary most of the time even though her mom has always kept her active in swim, dance, & soccer. At home she'd rather sit and play on her phone (my pet peeve). Soon as she gets to my house she wants to make chocolate chip cookies and I feel like the mean grandma always talking to her about watching her calories. At her father's they eat a lot of fast food and she loves it even though we try to teach her to make wise choices. Her step-sisters who live with her half the time are used to eating sugar and whatever junk they want and are as skinny as can be which makes it more difficult. She loves food, good and bad. I notice she is the one that goes back for seconds. I tried to talk her into using MFP, but she isn't mature enough to want to do it. At home her mom does cook good meals, but she does keep junk around because Dad, who is skinny as a rail, likes to eat junk. It is difficult with kids because you don't want to put negative images in their minds, but I don't want her overeating all the time either.8
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I just want to echo what a few others have said. Please, do not tell her you are putting her on a diet. My mom did this to me when I was 5 years old and that set me up for a childhood filled with shame and self-esteem issues. Lead by example. She is only 8 so now is the perfect time to intervene because you can pretty much control what she eats. I wish my mom had done this rather than putting me on the same crash diets she went on. Make healthy foods the only option at home. Junk food should be a treat, not a staple.7
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Whatever you do, do it for both kids! She'll definitely notice if she's the only one asked to go on walks, or who has to limit the junk food.
Talk to both of them about:- healthy, not "thin".
- nutrients and energy, not calories.
- the importance of not over eating,
- don't eat when bored, or sad,
- stop eating before you are stuffed,
- don't stuff yourself because a food is good, you can always have more later,
- "Treat" foods are "sometimes" foods. We don't have them every day, and we don't have them multiple times a day, but "sometimes" is fine.
Increase her activity. Sign them up for sports, get them roller skates, bikes, etc. Increase activity as a family, walks, bike rides, hikes. Limit sedentary time.
And don't worry about her "losing weight". She's still growing. We want her to "grow into" her weight, not lose weight.23 -
Keep junk food out of the house and only buy things in single servings (like one ice cream cone) as a treat after a busy day. Don't talk about diets, just change what you're all eating. Tons of yummy slow cooker recipes and kids will never overeat on veggies or rice. Don't make it seem like a diet.
No pop tarts, no sodas, little juice, NO cereals, nothing sugary. It will help if you all do it together and call it something fun, like a challenge. Who can skip the fastest, who can do more skips than the other, who can jog the fastest to the tree, that sort of thing.
Also, don't be afraid of the scale. My daughter uses mine and I use it only to make sure she's gaining enough weight. It's only used for positive reinforcement - ie "wow look at you, you're growing! 38lbs way to go!".4 -
BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »Whatever you do, do it for both kids! She'll definitely notice if she's the only one asked to go on walks, or who has to limit the junk food.
Talk to both of them about:- healthy, not "thin".
- nutrients and energy, not calories.
- the importance of not over eating,
- don't eat when bored, or sad,
- stop eating before you are stuffed,
- don't stuff yourself because a food is good, you can always have more later,
- "Treat" foods are "sometimes" foods. We don't have them every day, and we don't have them multiple times a day, but "sometimes" is fine.
Increase her activity. Sign them up for sports, get them roller skates, bikes, etc. Increase activity as a family, walks, bike rides, hikes. Limit sedentary time.
And don't worry about her "losing weight". She's still growing. We want her to "grow into" her weight, not lose weight.
This is great advice. My 12 year old is allergic to nuts both eaten and airborne dust from any nut. We decided as a family we will all be nut free.0 -
Keep junk food out of the house and only buy things in single servings (like one ice cream cone) as a treat after a busy day. Don't talk about diets, just change what you're all eating. Tons of yummy slow cooker recipes and kids will never overeat on veggies or rice. Don't make it seem like a diet.
No pop tarts, no sodas, little juice, NO cereals, nothing sugary. It will help if you all do it together and call it something fun, like a challenge. Who can skip the fastest, who can do more skips than the other, who can jog the fastest to the tree, that sort of thing.
Also, don't be afraid of the scale. My daughter uses mine and I use it only to make sure she's gaining enough weight. It's only used for positive reinforcement - ie "wow look at you, you're growing! 38lbs way to go!".
what a sad life that would be for a child!! and that would definitely make it feel like a punishment/diet. as others said, much better to focus on the positives (exercise, sports) and moderation with food - not altogether banishing all "junk".14 -
dwilliamca wrote: »We have the same problem with my 11 1/2 year old granddaughter who started gaining weight at around 6 or 7 and now is 5'3" and weighs 140 lbs. and knows she is overweight. We have consulted with her physician and try to teach her to eat good, balanced meals and watch the snacking. However she is very sedentary most of the time even though her mom has always kept her active in swim, dance, & soccer. At home she'd rather sit and play on her phone (my pet peeve). Soon as she gets to my house she wants to make chocolate chip cookies and I feel like the mean grandma always talking to her about watching her calories. At her father's they eat a lot of fast food and she loves it even though we try to teach her to make wise choices. Her step-sisters who live with her half the time are used to eating sugar and whatever junk they want and are as skinny as can be which makes it more difficult. She loves food, good and bad. I notice she is the one that goes back for seconds. I tried to talk her into using MFP, but she isn't mature enough to want to do it. At home her mom does cook good meals, but she does keep junk around because Dad, who is skinny as a rail, likes to eat junk. It is difficult with kids because you don't want to put negative images in their minds, but I don't want her overeating all the time either.
That's.. not good. She shouldn't be worrying about being fat or told she is over weight by her grandmother or parents. Better to just half the recipes and use alternative ingredients and bake with her silently. Words cut.17 -
want2behappy31 wrote: »I also need to learn to tell her NO when she wants junk food.
I think this is important whether a child is overweight or not. When I was child back in the days when it was extremely rare for children to be overweight and even more rare to see one who was obese, I didn't know one single child whose parents gave them free access to food. Especially junk food (candy, chips, baked goods) but really any food other than wild fruits we picked for ourselves. We were never allowed to just go get food without asking and when we asked the answer was not always yes. When did parents stop controlling their children's diet?19 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »want2behappy31 wrote: »I also need to learn to tell her NO when she wants junk food.
I think this is important whether a child is overweight or not. When I was child back in the days when it was extremely rare for children to be overweight and ever rare to see one who was obese, I didn't know one single child whose parents gave them free access to food. Especially junk food (candy, chips, baked goods) but really any food other than wild fruits we picked for ourselves. We were never allowed to just go get food without asking and when we asked the answer was not always yes. When did parents stop controlling their children's diet?
Exactly. Perfect example.2 -
Do not have "junk food" in the house is the best. Go to the doctor have them recommend a nutritionist. I was a fat kid and I do have a complex still today about secret eating my mother from an early age put me on every diet imaginable.1
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Mellykay88 wrote: »I just want to echo what a few others have said. Please, do not tell her you are putting her on a diet. My mom did this to me when I was 5 years old and that set me up for a childhood filled with shame and self-esteem issues. Lead by example. She is only 8 so now is the perfect time to intervene because you can pretty much control what she eats. I wish my mom had done this rather than putting me on the same crash diets she went on. Make healthy foods the only option at home. Junk food should be a treat, not a staple.
I understand this completely.1 -
Do not have "junk food" in the house is the best. Go to the doctor have them recommend a nutritionist. I was a fat kid and I do have a complex still today about secret eating my mother from an early age put me on every diet imaginable.
I'm not sure having no junk food in the house is the best idea either. Then you become that weird mother that doesn't have any candy or chips in the house. Why not just teach the children that these are sometimes foods? They are treats and not the base of a diet and teach them why.6 -
Mellykay88 wrote: »I just want to echo what a few others have said. Please, do not tell her you are putting her on a diet. My mom did this to me when I was 5 years old and that set me up for a childhood filled with shame and self-esteem issues. Lead by example. She is only 8 so now is the perfect time to intervene because you can pretty much control what she eats. I wish my mom had done this rather than putting me on the same crash diets she went on. Make healthy foods the only option at home. Junk food should be a treat, not a staple.
Ok but guess what... my parents did nothing about my weight. I still grew up with a childhood of shame and self-esteem issues because I was fat.
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For my 12th birthday my mom bought me an exercise ball. It still stings to this day. Make better choices yourself and your children will follow. If you make it known to her that changes are being made on her behalf it will effect her more mentally than physically.2
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Muscleflex79 wrote: »Keep junk food out of the house and only buy things in single servings (like one ice cream cone) as a treat after a busy day. Don't talk about diets, just change what you're all eating. Tons of yummy slow cooker recipes and kids will never overeat on veggies or rice. Don't make it seem like a diet.
No pop tarts, no sodas, little juice, NO cereals, nothing sugary. It will help if you all do it together and call it something fun, like a challenge. Who can skip the fastest, who can do more skips than the other, who can jog the fastest to the tree, that sort of thing.
Also, don't be afraid of the scale. My daughter uses mine and I use it only to make sure she's gaining enough weight. It's only used for positive reinforcement - ie "wow look at you, you're growing! 38lbs way to go!".
what a sad life that would be for a child!! and that would definitely make it feel like a punishment/diet. as others said, much better to focus on the positives (exercise, sports) and moderation with food - not altogether banishing all "junk".
I agree you can't cut all of that out just make it a treat or an everything other thing. The only way to teach them moderation is to allow by in smaller amount. When my nieces and nephews come over, I buy cereal and we have it as part of our brunch. It isn't the main item just a side.3 -
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I think making certain foods out as 'treats' isn't the best thing. You're making it seem like this special, rare food and that just makes you want it more. Plus surely associating certain foods with celebrations or reward is the start of an emotional bond with food?
I was lucky in that I did sport from a very young age so I was taught about nutrition as part of that. Getting involved in sport is probably the best thing- it will keep your kids active, it can help their social life, it develops all manner of skills and often involves learning about how to fuel your body (depending on if you're doing casual sport or they join a club)
I'd say teach your kids about nutrition. Not in the sense of some foods make you fat and some foods are off limits, or calories. Tell them about the nutrients they can get from fruit and veg and how that helps them function well,encourage 'good looking' meals with a rainbow of colours, tell them how protein can make their muscles stronger and oats can fuel them for hours, for example. But also tell them how too much sugar can make you feel poorly. So rather than saying something is off limits or simply saying 'no', give them a reason. Try and make foods like fruit and veg more desirable.4
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