WHY DO I STILL FEEL FAT!!!!

kimberley1975mfp
kimberley1975mfp Posts: 36 Member
Hi. I started my journey April 28/17. I started at 222. Today I weigh 167. That’s 55lbs and only 17lbs to go until my goal. But I feel worse than I did. People say “you like ok great” or “you don’t need to lose anymore”. I’m not seeing what they are seeing. I know they see me in clothes which is basically a filter for life but when I go to get into the shower and see myself in the mirror I just want to cry. I say “oh my god you’re so fat and disgusting”. Why do I feel that way. I look at my before and after pics and intellectually I see the difference but I feel as fat as I always did. Does that feeling ever go away??
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Replies

  • alondrakayy
    alondrakayy Posts: 304 Member
    I'm constantly having to pull up my pants because of weight I lost during a cut and yet in my head, I have not lost anything and I look the same as I did before. Most of the time it's all mental.
  • MinuitMinuet
    MinuitMinuet Posts: 156 Member
    How long did you spend overweight with that perception being all you knew? It will take time to feel how you look.
  • Danihoo8
    Danihoo8 Posts: 11 Member
    I lost 40 pounds and it never felt enough. I agree with the person that said that being overweight is a mentality and it doesn't go away that easy. It's separate to the physical change (obviously highly linked). I would do everyday positive affirmations of self confidence and feeling good the way you are, also challenging negative automatic thoughts with positive and reinforcing ones. And of course seeking help if it gets worse - you wouldn't want to develop an eating issue etc from this. You should be able to fee beautiful just the way you are -unique. My two cents..
  • kuranda10
    kuranda10 Posts: 593 Member
    In April I was 196. When I got down to 167 I still didn't feel as if I'd lost any weight (looked the same, still in the same size clothes).
    When I recently hit 159 my mind caught up with my body and now I can SEE the weight loss and had to finally go down a size
  • kikisf
    kikisf Posts: 58 Member
    That is amazing!!! After having kids and losing weight being naked in the mirror can sometimes be dissappointing but Remember your goal. Your kids have a healthier mom who will live longer. I am sure once your skin has a chance to recover and you lose your last pounds you will see a diiference. And of course if you have always been over weight it might take awhile for the head to catch up with the body.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    Self loathing is a bad habit. We all do it to a point, in the beginning the loathing and self criticism seems like a motivator. So, here now you are weighting less...but the habit of criticizing yourself continues. There is also the false perception that losing weight will give us a firm, fit body; the kind of body that lifting weights and resistance training bring.
    Why not take time each day to be grateful for how much you've achieved.. celebrate your accomplishment .. look at yourself and say and think some kind words about yourself. Break the habit of self loathing to loving yourself. Good luck.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
    Sounds like some level of body dysmorphia.

    I’ve been 25% bodyfat for a period of my life and dieted down to sub 12%. Although in the grand scheme of things, I went from obese to athlete lean, I never felt happy with how I looked.
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,244 Member
    I started at 165 where I looked very fat. So Just keep losing. It isn't body dismorphia or anything. 167 is a lot. That's it. For an average height women 167 is overweight bmi. Lower half of healthy weight where you might start to look slim is 135lbs for an average height. At 167 you just aren't slim, that's why you don't feel so. Maybe you thought 150lbs would look differently. On me 150 looks fat. I have before pics at 160lbs and fat is dangling from everywhere. Just gross. I've been 125 my whole life and 125 was slim. 167 is fat. I'm 5'7.
  • kimberley1975mfp
    kimberley1975mfp Posts: 36 Member
    Well this before picture is after my 2nd child. I went on to have 2 more after that picture. The second picture is me today. So I do know intellectually I’m NOT fat. My abdomen is definitely out of shape from the 4 kids and the weight gain over all those years. So it’s not super helpful for someone to say 167 is fat. It’s not fat considering and I am 5’6 and I do know that to have a normal range BMI I need to hit 150 which is why I set that as my goal. Because I wanted to be able to say “I’m normal”. Would I prefer 140? Well of course I would but I will take 150 for sure. Gonna work on where I was compared to where I am and be thankful
  • memickee
    memickee Posts: 250 Member
    Huge difference!! Way to go!
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    The thing is, when you lose the weight right at first, most of the time you're not going to look like you imagined you would. This is when you need to give your body time to adjust, get a little elasticity back in to your skin, and preferably incorporate strength training if you haven't already. You will look better after all of that. I was a bit devastated after finally losing my pregnancy weight but after starting a boot camp and giving my self some time, I'm as confident as ever!
  • squirmmonster
    squirmmonster Posts: 98 Member
    edited October 2017
    Being significantly overweight can have some pretty big long term consequences, especially some of it pregnancy. But it's really nothing to keep hurting yourself over. It is in the past and there's nothing you can do to change that. Focus is where you tend to end up going in life, so try to not focus on feeling fat, even when you do. This should be a strong motivator not to focus on it, since I'm sure you don't want to be overweight again! Focus instead on what you want to get out of continued weight loss (or fitness goals if you're okay with your weight now) and be realistic with yourself. Set some more goals and just keep imagining you've already done them. Picture you're already there. And as often as possible, monitor your thoughts. When you find yourself beating yourself up, say to yourself "I reject that". If you're alone, or somewhere that you are safe to be a little crazy, say it out loud, as powerfully as possible! If you have to do it in your head, imagine you're saying it that way, too. These are some things that have helped me recently, not to hate my body so much, and it is working.
  • DamienAngelica
    DamienAngelica Posts: 281 Member
    edited October 2017
    You look wonderful! Congratulations on all your hard work! You definitely don't look fat at all, but I suspect it will just take longer for your mind to lose the weight your body already has.
  • lesliejharned
    lesliejharned Posts: 1 Member
    You've accomplished so much and have a lot to be proud of!! I recall reading that we add to our fat cells when we are teenagers and when we are pregnant. That being said, don't be overly hard on yourself -- you've had four children. Just keep going with strength training, cardio and calorie reduction. Isometrics are great and work with kettle bells and dual handled medicine balls have been life changing for me.

    It is a great feeling when you notice your clothes are too big. They didn't stretch out -- you got smaller :). Your mind will eventually catch up to the reality. Just be consistent and stick with it. The changes you've made will benefit your mind, body and soul - and your precious children. Good luck!
  • Sunnybrooke99
    Sunnybrooke99 Posts: 369 Member
    It doesn’t matter how good other people seem to think I look, I need to feel like I’m fit and in control of my body. I really have to have some regular workout, or I ‘feel’ fat. It’s not just in my mind. I get slightly achy, if I don’t work out, and my digestion is more sluggish.
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