Did anyone else grow up with obese parents or family members?
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TavistockToad wrote: »Yep. My mum is morbidly obese - she's always been overweight but gained a lot when she stopped smoking aged 40 and never lost it.
My dad was overweight but not massively so.
My mum has a load of health problems, which is why I want to be healthy now so I don't end up like her.
Same here. Mine has disordered eating attitudes and behaviors (hiding food, eating in secret, emotional eating, crash dieting, rewarding with food, unrealistic expectations, etc.) that I learned and have taken a long time to unlearn. Everyone in her family, though --everyone on all sides as many generations back as we have photos-- was tall and lanky. Not an overweight soul in the bunch. Her weight gain was entirely behavioral, no indications of genetic predisposition at all. Her related conditions have cost Medicare a fortune. Equally costly to her quality of life.0 -
newheavensearth wrote: »
There's also the "big and thick" preference in my family. As in anything under a size 12 (my mom's size before she regained her weight) is too thin according to my family. I'm a 4 so I get regular too thin interventions.
I think you look fantastic.
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Pretty much every adult in my family was and most still are obese. I blame this on the way we were shown to eat. We did a family dinner every Sunday. Most of the time the meals would be something like this: Spaghetti, fried potatoes, and garlic bread. Or Meat loaf, mash potatoes, rolls, and mac and cheese. I never noticed or thought anything about until my husband (then boyfriend) went to a Sunday dinner and asked my grandma if there was a salad or vegetable. Now when we go to Sunday dinner grandma makes sure there is a salad option. My step mother was overweight and pushed food on to her step kids. She always believe we weren't eating when we said we did. I think she wanted to feel good about herself and birth kids by making us gain weight. In high school I was thin, when I started working I would eat dinner at work and she would insist I was lying and make me eat again when I was home. Because I couldn't go from 11:30 to 9:30 with out eating something I started to put on weight. Getting a car and I stopped walking 4 plus miles a day didn't help.0
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newheavensearth wrote: »
There's also the "big and thick" preference in my family. As in anything under a size 12 (my mom's size before she regained her weight) is too thin according to my family. I'm a 4 so I get regular too thin interventions.
I think you look fantastic.
Thank you!0 -
Oh, and my husband’s side! His dad was overweight, borderline obese most of adulthood. His mom was maybe slightly overweight. They both have gotten really healthy in retirement. They eat food they like, in moderation, and are very, very active in their 70s. My husband has always been thin and seems to monitor his food intake pretty intuitively. He is also super, super active and always has been. He maybe has a little “dad bod” after breaking 3 major bones in 7 years and having the associated surgeries to repair them (slowed him down a little). His only sibling is obese. Our kids are 2 elementary schoolers (both will try any food, but care very little about food and would always rather play than eat, even treats. They are skinny, where I monitor that they aren’t skipping meals because they’re busy) and a preschooler (loves sweets but eats a good variety. On the thin side of normal. I try to watch that she develops healthy feelings about treats).0
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My mom is overweight. She used to be thin but she's just not good at taking care of herself and has let the weight creep on. My dad is normal weight but I wouldn't say he's healthy because he lives mostly off of convenience foods since he's a truck driver. My brothers are all either normal weight or barely overweight. My extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) are almost all overweight or obese. At a family get together last Christmas I was looking around and realized that even though I was overweight I was one of the thinnest people in the room, kids included.0
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My mom thinks that I look perfect on the high end of the normal BMI range. I definitely don't agree... but again, she's always thought that her overweight weight was fine too.2
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My mom yo-yo'd most of my life. She was really thin into her 20s but then struggled with weight gain after that (she's overweight now, not obese or on the very low end of obesity, but has health problems unrelated to that that interfere with mobility and I think she's basically stopped caring).
My dad is not overweight and generally has not been; he's mostly been very active too.0 -
No. My dad was overweight when we were growing up, but now he is in pretty great shape and has been for at least 20 years. My mom is normal weight never been overweight. My brother and I are also normal weight, never been overweight.1
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My mother was obese. My dad divorced her when I was 11 because of her weight. We went on my first diet soon afterwards. It made me very weight conscious, so though I was sometimes quite heavy, I never got to the point of being obese. My brother yoyos 100 or so pounds up and down.3
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My mother was always obese when I was growing up. She exercised some (Jack LaLane) and tried to diet but never lost much. She loved to bake and was really good at it. She has now lost the weight after a heart attack and bypass.
My dad was never overweight. He had a physical job and jumped on the low carb bandwagon back in the 70's. Skipped desserts most nights, rarely ate potatoes.
Only my mom is still alive. So far she's outlived him by 11 years.0 -
lisawolfinger wrote: »Yes, all four grandparents...one over 500 pounds. Neither parent was overweight...always good that way but excessive smokers-which keeps weight down. Half my siblings are very obese and the other half are very thin. The grandparent and the siblings were/are all structurally bigger boned than the thin siblings...though I am not saying that makes any of it OK.
I have always been in the middle but larger boned (like my relatives). Even my physician says I don't have the structure/genetics to be ever be "thin". The top end of my BMI is where I should be to be at my healthiest. I do work hard to stay there...the older I get, the more real the struggle.
kk I have to ask...how does excessive smoking keep weight down???? I smoked and was overweight/fat.
And as for the rest sorry you are what??? Bigger boned???
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My father, his parents and all 14 of his siblings are/were morbidly obese, complete with every illness correlated with obesity. Their kids/my cousins are either obese or athletic (there's myself, the cross-fit maniac, Zumba instructor, yoga instructor and several runners). I have a lot of cousins. My mother and her whole family are all very thin, except for a few who've gained later in age.0
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None of my family were/are overweight/obese. Some of us carry a little extra podge around the belly area as we've aged, but nothing noticeable.0
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No, my parents were not obese, but a little over their normal weight. My mom always cooked from scratch and we never ate out (no money for that). My mom didn't like to bake, so sweets were an occasional treat. She had a sweet tooth and she knew that she had to control it. My dad never liked sweets and I think that I got that from him; my brother on the other hand, had my mother's sweet tooth and didn't care to control it. He ended a little bit on the heavier side as he got older, before cancer took him away.
I never met my grandparents so I don't know their stats. As I remember father's sister was a little bit chubby, probably because she was a great cook and loved to bake. But in general obesity is/was not part of my genetic makeup, and I try to keep up with that trend.0 -
Since we're mentioning grandparents, too: All my grandparents were deceased by the time I was 2. My father's father was 6'2" and slim in 1920. My father's mother in that photo was about 4'11" and also slim. My mother's father died in 1939 and was overweight enough that his children and grandchildren at the time called him "Big Daddy". My mother's mother seems to have been normal weight, as I've no stories of her being any kind of 'big'.0
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My mom and my aunt. Mom had gastric bypass and struggles with her weight still. Calls me "skinny b**ch." Aunt stays heavy. I have 3 sisters, two of whom seem to be having weight issues when they never did before. I was always the fat one as a kid.
Oh and I forgot about mom's habits, many of which I've taken on. We both pretty much live in bed when not needed elsewhere (yup. I still do that to this day, though I consider running and walking as "places I need to be" so those habits help to offset that). Mom used to send myself, my dad and my sisters down to the gas station for Ben & Jerry's (1 pint=1 serving. We'd do that as a family once a week or so), Symphony bars, funny bones, devil dogs, etc. She always had a stash of snacks or sweets under her bed which we'd sneak into, and I started my own stash once I had a driver's license and a job. When it was my turn to cook, it was always at least two boxes of hamburger helper. Most "home cooked" dinners had a meat and two starches. Not much in the way of vegetables, and they were always heavily buttered. Also a lot of hot dogs and ramen noodles.0 -
My dad was always trim, my mother was a little chubby after 7 kids. I don't remember her ever being fat, but it wouldn't have killed her to lose 20 or 30 lbs. 4 of my siblings are normal weight, 2 of them on the lower end of normal. 2 of them struggle with their weight. One of my grandmas was fat, (my dad's mom) and 2 of my mom's sisters were fat, too. It's interesting. Genetics has a role, environment has a role. Ultimately, though, we're responsible for our own health, diet, and weight.1
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My dad, his parents and his sister were all overweight when I was growing up. My dad still is, but my grandma and aunt had some health scares which set them on the straight and narrow, unfortunately for my grandad it was too late. My mum has always had a strange relationship with food, she has about half a meal a day and drinks too much, we could go out to dinner and she will take one bite of her food but finish the bottle of wine... My dad has always been a secret eater, he is a type 2 diabetic, if you ask him he says he never eats sugary things but it is not unusual to find sweet wrappers in his car or in his coat pockets. As a family we would eat huge three course meals (mum excluded lol she just sat with us and ate a few pieces of food), and we ate out a lot too. Although we were provided with plenty of fruit and vegetables, there was no portion control and there was always junk food around too which we could eat to excess. My mum didn't have that growing up so she just wanted us to never feel deprived. Everything they did came from a place of love, and it wasn't all negative, we learnt good table manners, we learnt how to hold a conversation at the table, we learnt how to identify quality ingredients and often we wanted to recreate foods at home that we tried at restaurants.
At my grandparents house we would have golden syrup sandwiches, then a fat laden dinner, then a homemade dessert. All huge portions and only one vegetable option.
So the lessons I learnt were that it was OK to binge on food, and then to feel guilty about it, also that it was OK to overeat and lie about it. When I was a teenager I even modelled my mum's behaviour and ate just one piece of fruit a day and half a dinner. Neither of these examples did me any favours, I would either eat too little or too much. I am still working on eliminating these kinds of attitudes towards foods and it is difficult to remove the guilt factor.
I think, I hope, that generation by generation we are learning more about food and health. My parents didn't mean to pass on these behaviours, they probably don't even realise what they are doing, they are just modelling what they learnt. But I am learning a new way, so when I have children, I can be a good example to them.1 -
My mum struggled with her weight after having kids. Before that she was slim enough. My dad was of a stocky, sportsman type build, but walked everywhere so kept fit right into old age. My eldest sister is skinny, but never eats anything (lol) so who knows, the middle sister, like me, tends towards stocky and has to watch what she eats and stay active.0
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My mum always struggled with her weight but has done an amazing job at losing and maintaining over the past 10 years or so. She’s got a great figure.
Everyone else is very fit and healthy.1 -
My mom's been obese as long as I remember. The worst part is that the older I got, the more obvious it became to me how little she cared - or at least pretended to, I don't know. It was never talked about in our family. There was one brief period when I was in first or second grade, when my teacher suggested I see a therapist because I was a loner and that therapist told my mom that me being a chubby kid had a lot to do with it. So she tried to make an effort for us both. That is the only time I remember her ever going on a diet or watching what she ate.
Now, as sad as it sounds, she's one of my biggest inspirations for losing weight because I don't want to be like her. She has no idea about nutrition and doesn't care either. She's diabetic but barely knows which foods contain carbs. She gets out of breath (literal 'I can't breathe' out of breath) after walking down a single block. I just really, really don't want to be like that at her age.2 -
My entire moms side except one uncle is overweight. My dads entire side is very thin.0
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My mum has always been obese/morbidly obese, as long as I can remember. These days she barely leaves her recliner chair, has my younger sister fetch her drinks etc. The thing is she doesn't seem to eat that much, and what she does eat is relatively low calorie. She'll go a day with nothing but a banana, a few cups of tea with milk (no sugar, she's diabetic), and one main meal of meat and veg or a sandwich. She doesn't enjoy food or cooking, my siblings that still live at home live off pizzas and easy meals that can be made in bulk. I honestly don't know where she gets the calories she needs to sustain what is probably 250-300lbs, she has never had a sweet tooth and only rarely fancies salty/savoury snacks.
My dad was slim before, though now he is in his late fifties it is starting to catch up on him. He lives off cheese and bread, chocolate and red wine.
Their house is absolutely rammed with poor food choices. Every downstairs room save the toilet has literal piles of snacks. The coffee table is barely usable because of the family bags of crisps, bars of chocolate and other sweets on it. There is a display cabinet behind the TV which is stuffed with yet more chocolate and sweets. The dining table is similarly unusable. Kitchen work surface is full of Doritos, cakes, breads and snack bars. There is a walk in pantry with HUNDREDS of bags of crisps of all types. I often joke that they could be snowed in for a fortnight and not notice, but I think it is actually true.
My sister was obese at 16, and my brother is one of those who seem to have an incredibly high metabolism, but it is even starting to catch him up. I know that you make your own choices in life, but living in that house doesn't set you up very well!0 -
We were a "large" family. I wouldn't say we were obese though. The hardest part was being conditioned that you had to compete for some of the more paletable food items and treats. Leftovers would be eaten quickly by someone else so you had to stake your claim. Same thing briefly as an adult, if you had a treat in the house e.g. chips or a desert, it quickly disappeared. For me, the hardest part about losing was about managing portions. A big part of that was the fact I was conditioned to stake my claim or else. Once I got over that, and realized nobody was going to steal my food as an adult, I was able to manage my portions. The irony, after my brothers and I all left home, my mother, brothers, and I have all lost weight and live much healthier now.0
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My mom was bigger after having children, never obese though. Then she got sick and has lost way too much weight, she barely ever eats because of her gastropersis(my spelling on that is not right). My dad has always looked healthy to me, maybe a few pounds overweight but I've heard him complain about his weight quite often, but then still indulge in a ton of desserts or something, especially if hes drinking. Which I know I do this and Im trying to break that habit, but needing a dessert every night and not being able to stop at 1 cookie or even 2 is what got me to 220, stopping these habits has largely contributed to me getting to 169, and I know I wont be able to get back into the cycle even when I get to goal.
Both sets of my grandparents were a healthy weight, maybe a few pounds overweight, but they still always over served us desserts and other fatty foods.
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imanibelle wrote: »Just curious.
Maybe a follow up question would be - how did growing up in a family with overweight/obese family members shape your view of fitness and nutrition?
My parents ate a lot (and unhealthily), drank a lot, and smoked a lot, and their example caused me to reject 2/3rds of that (the drinking I embraced because it just appeared to be fun to me as a kid, which in retrospect, was anything but...I digress). I came to view food as primarily fuel, as in "what is this doing for me in terms of meeting my nutritional needs" rather than "food, yum, eat" as a guiding principle for my diet. Of course, I eat desserts and sweets occasionally, but the pursuit of "comfort food" isn't a driving force in my life, food is a means to fuel myself. I combined this with prioritizing exercise, and as a result, I have never been overweight.1 -
Yup. Both parents, 2 grandparents. Most of my aunts and uncles are/were probably obese. And now that we are adults, all of my 4 siblings are overweight and/or obese. Lots of diabetes and high blood pressure, strokes, etc. Fun stuff.
My mother died at 60 due to a head injury (she fell down stairs) that was made much worse by the anit-clotting medication she was on as she had suffered numerous small strokes in her 50s. Another one of her sisters has also died early, and was a double leg amputee due to diabetes.0 -
Obesity runs in my family. My mother and uncle were morbidly obese, my maternal grandmother was overweight, as well. My great grandmother was 6' with a large build. I'm 5'10 with a large build. I have quite a few pounds to lose myself. My mom had food issues as far back as I can remember. She would strictly diet, then give up and go back to reckless abandon. She could never find her "middle ground". We ate when we were happy, we ate when we were sad. It's hard growing up with food issues of your parents and also dealing with your own. I kicked my smoking habit in 2008 (my mom and grandmother had emphysema and COPD) and I'm working on weight now, I have been my whole life, but I'm learning everyday and seeing things in a different way. I will win this fight too!0
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My dad has been overweight or obese as long as I can remember. He was slim in his 20s and early 30s but he was 51 by the time I was born and had packed on the pounds. My mum was curvy and probably a little overweight. She was sporty, though. But she died when I was 4, so I didn't grow up with her influence. Her parents helped my dad raise me and my sister, and they were both very overweight. Grandad isn't now, but it's because he has dementia and forgets to eat. My sister has always been the skinny one. She was a little overweight when we were teens but lost it all and then went the other way and became anorexic. She's overcoming that now. I used to be obese, then overweight, now a normal weight but trying to get down to a more ideal goal weight.0
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