"Accountability Buddies" - Do they work?

aniracace

It depends on who the buddies are. If it's only online, then some pretty intensive communication is likely to be required. If it's a real life buddy and the two of you are friends, then yeah it'll probably work.

super_who_fandom

The only way this works is if you find a like minded person. I've tried this with several people who didnt have drive, they were not like minded and lost interest in a healthy lifestyle after a week. This is NOT motivational to me

Stew501

The only way accountability buddies works; is if they are accountable. I tried to have one a few years ago but she had so many excuses of why she couldn’t go to the gym. I didn’t find this motivating, actually it was more contagious; I found myself making excuses. Then I decided to depend on the one person I knew I could..myself. 2 years later I’m still going & have met several moms. The one thing I noticed is the moms who are in great shape; dont have workout partners, they are self motivated

aeloine

I think that they work only if they put IN the work.

I have a weight loss buddy IRL and it was going really well until she started slacking back in October. It kind of became a "she's not losing so it's kind of okay that I'm not losing" kind of situation and it was very difficult to separate myself from her, because we'd been checking in daily. It took a long time to get to the "pre-buddy" mentality again, because I started losing and working out months before she approached me to help her.

So it's a double edged sword, I think. An accountability buddy could be really great, not unlike a person running on the treadmill next to you could really push you to work harder; they could also allow you to kind of coast, if they're coasting.

4legsRbetterthan2

real life ones do sometimes, but mostly nope.

LivingtheLeanDream

I think some people can find it a help to have accountability whilst for other it would put them off.
When I was in my losing phase I enjoyed having MFP friends to share the highs and lows with but ultimately I was only accountable for myself.

mph323

I find that outside accountability tends to make me resentful, and I'll find myself "cheating" and hiding the evidence. At one point when I was trying to lose weight years ago I tried making my husband my "accountability buddy", and that went about as expected (and was really unfair to him). I learned I can hide overeating from other people, but if I'm accountable only to myself, there's no where to go

AnvilHead

I think it depends on how you ("you" in the general sense) are wired. Some people want/need lots of support, hand-holding and cheerleading (extrinsic motivation), others prefer to make it their own thing and are accountable to their own processes, goals and rewards (intrinsic motivation). For the former, "accountability buddies" can be essential to their success; for the latter, they're entirely unnecessary and can be more of an annoyance than anything else.

Not saying either way is right or wrong - it just is what it is. I'm the intrinsic type, and if anybody other than me was as hard on me as I am, I'd probably punch them in the throat, lol.

ccruz985

No.

iamunicoon

I think it can definitely help but you need to put in work to find the right partner.

People just keep adding people randomly and then say it didn't work for them. But I think what you gotta do is be upfront about what you would like to be held accountable for and in which way. Do you want them to check your diary and bring it up to your attention when you've been slacking too much at logging? Do you want them to make helpful comments about the kind of food you put in your mouth? Do you want someone to kick your butt when you haven't logged any exercises x days a week?

And also what kind of attention do you need? The kick in the butt kind? The gentle approach of asking what's up? And you gotta be prepared to give back, too.

dlm4mom

I think they work. None of my friends want to hear about my struggles with food. There are so many things more important than weight. It helps me to be on the forums, everyone here is in the same boat and we are all trying to find a way to be better

adele012

True. I’ve heard plenty of people talk about them. I think it’s best to be your own “accountability buddy” and let other people just be a perk.

tirowow12385

I heard this before MFP. I think from Beachbody. Self reliance is key, if you rely on someone and they fail, you'll fail with them.

Orphia

I'm pretty cynical when I see people ask for friends the same height/weight they are with the same amount to lose.

I think you'd be far better off asking for friends who have lost weight and know how to help, rather than newbies.

WeightlossTraveler653

When it comes “accountability buddies” one size or approach doesn’t fit all. You can have an on-line buddy or an in-person buddy or buddies.
Any way you choose it, emotional support and regular accountability is the number one predictor for successful weight control.
I had weight loss surgery (WLS) through Kaiser Permanente. The importance of emotional support and weekly or monthly accountability was stressed in the classes I had to take before surgery AND follow-ups after surgery.

abslikebuddha

Personally, this is the 1000th time I have had to lose weight and the I feel the only reason i am have sustained success this time is because I have to face someone every Monday morning. When I don't make progress I feel like I have let that person down. But that is just my personality as a people pleaser. May not work for everyone.

for_ever_young66

I've been working out as a lone wolf for nearly 10 years now. Every time I had a "buddy," it seemed like this person was anchoring me down and of course, I'm not going to scold a grown man or woman for not making it to the gym on time. I feel like no one is going to be harder on me than myself.

mewickla

I've never found a workout buddy to be helpful - we usually just ended up ditching together, tbh. I do however like MFP because I'm vain and I like when people like my posts on how much weight I've lost. It's not noticeable irl, and I know this is something I need to do for myself, but the online recognition is nice.

Cbkkata

Accountability buddies only work if they actually hold you accountable. I prefer motivational buddies who lift each other up

Ninkasi

tirowow12385 wrote: »

Self reliance is key, if you rely on someone and they fail, you'll fail with them.

I agree with this 110%. I am by nature not a joiner and while I sometimes have questions about macros or logging or other things, I can search for those answers or ask the question if I can't find an answer. I don't like the idea of pointless complaining to a "buddy" and I don't want to listen to someone else complain. I think a buddy, or the search for one, can be an excuse for lacking commitment - "I couldn't find a buddy so I couldn't stick with it." Insisting on a buddy lets people give away their sense of agency, gives them an excuse if they fail. Own your successes, own your failures.

Of course I am just one random person on the internet with my own experiences and thoughts. YMMV.