Was called a whale yesterday
Ladybug_lover
Posts: 31 Member
Hi! My name is Amanda and I have been battling with my weight since I had my first son 10 years ago. When I sit back and think that I let myself go to this point it makes me sick to my stomach. I had one child after another and gained almost a hundred pounds each from both of them. Here I am now at 380 lb and struggling with fun activities I want to do with my children. Not to mention being fat-shamed and called things like a whale on Facebook on the daily from people I don't know. It really brings down your self-esteem and makes you sometimes feel like you don't even want to live anymore. Here I am 30 years old with really a great life. We own our house our car I have been married for five years and my children are 9 and 10. I run a successful business and my husband loves me unconditionally. Even though I have such a great life the one thing holding me back the most is my weight. I can't ride rides with the kids when we go on vacation I can't run around in the backyard with them and play football, and I get out of breath even walking up the stairs to kiss them goodnight. I have been on my fitness pal for a long time but just yesterday for restarted my journey. I want to live and even better life than what I am now. I want to be able to shop in the regular section at the store. I want to be able to buy an awesome pair of tall boots that will fit around my swollen ankles. I want to roll around in the snow and build a snowman with my kids. I'm on here opening myself up like this because I feel like I need more people backing me up so that I can succeed. my only support is my husband and while i love him and is so grateful for him, i really need some friends to help push me! Thank you for reading!
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Replies
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You can succeed if you put your mind to it, not because of your husband or anyone else.
If you do it because of other people you are automatically setting yourself up to fail with a handy excuse of 'it was their fault, they didn't support me'.12 -
1. Cut whoever is calling you a whale out of your life completely. They're not worth the time it took you to read that comment, much less any time spent fretting about it.
2. Complete your fitness profile here and start diligently logging your food and activity.
3. Read the forum stickies if you haven't already.
4. Add friends if you'd like, but don't think of them as a means to push or motivate you. Think of it as a way to keep the journey fun and interesting. Like road tripping with a group of friends rather than driving across Kansas on your own with no radio
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First welcome and I know it is hard, but do not let what other people say effect you. The reasons why you should be taking this journey is that YOU want it for YOU. As I always say it took years to put on this weight so you cannot expect it to just melt off.
Have you had any blood tests to determine things like A1C and cholesterol? My A1C is fine but since 2009 my Cholesterol has been high 249 last time.
You CAN do this and why, look at some of the success posts here. It is about changing your lifestyle and then letting your body do its thing. Dont try to exercise to much at first cause you dont want to hurt yourself and have a set back.4 -
1. Cut whoever is calling you a whale out of your life completely. They're not worth the time it took you to read that comment, much less any time spent fretting about it.
2. Complete your fitness profile here and start diligently logging your food and activity.
3. Read the forum stickies if you haven't already.
4. Add friends if you'd like, but don't think of them as a means to push or motivate you. Think of it as a way to keep the journey fun and interesting. Like road tripping with a group of friends rather than driving across Kansas on your own with no radio
Great advice. Here's the good news for the OP. She's 30. She's still young and has plenty of time to make a change. Being young will mean her body will snap back easier, and over time she can make a transformation that will make a difference for her as long as she doesn't get in a big hurry and get discouraged. It takes time, patience, and consistency. Oh and yea, cut the person on Facebook out of your life.11 -
Hi Amanda! I sent you a friend request and a message.
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Anyone who would call you (or anyone else) a whale has problems that won't be solved by you losing weight. If you were svelte as a supermodel they'd just choose another insult because it's a problem with them, not you.
I think an important first step might be to figure out why you overeat. What is it that drives you eat so far over what your body needs?
Also, don't expect to change everything in one day or to lose the weight quickly. Don't make your plan so aggressive that it is unsustainable.
And lastly when you have a bad day (or days) don't give up or beat yourself up. It happens. Just be kind to yourself and get back on track. Nobody is perfect.
Best of luck to you!12 -
I lost over 122lbs by solely sticking to MFP and tracking what I ate. Eat whatever you want, don't think of this as a diet or anything. Think of exercise as a tool to getting yourself fit, not as a chore. At the start, I started at 300lbs, walking was all I did. As the weight dropped down, I was able to do more and more exercise wise but that will come soon enough.
Goodluck! I've been on this site for nearly 4 years now, and can relate to having to restart and restart again and again, but soon it will click for you and it will be easy. You will trip up, you will have days where you ate too much, but you simply start the next day again with a clear head.
Stick to MFP properly for a week and see the results on the scale. That'll motivate you. Do it slowly. Set a goal of losing 10lbs. Then 15. Then 20. Etc.14 -
I look at it this way, "when you point the finger, you have 3 pointing back at you", meaning those jerks who called you a whale probably have some personal issues far worse than yours. Take comfort in knowing you're not a jerk like they are, pray that they snap out of it (if you're the praying type) and try to shrug it off. Besides that, you can always lose weight, but they will still be stuck with a rotten personality.
For more practical measures, I'd block/report the scumbags and maybe put your profile on "friends only".
Haters gonna hate- Proverbs 9:810 -
When you are 32 and posting pictures in Success Stories, you will laugh, LAUGH, at your petty online facebook detractors. That is, if you can even remember them. There's an unfriend option, and there's a block option.27
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It's been my experience that when people name call, it's usually a defense mechanism to make THEMSELVES feel better about their own insecurities and short comings. I'm sure that doesn't make it any easer to hear (or read) but your ambition in your health journey may be intimidating. So let the haters hate and rest in the fact that they are not happy or supportive of your success and way of life. A lot of us here have experienced what you have, so be assured that you are not alone5
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Everyone has said everything right above. Just remember that Orcas are Killer Whales and they can defeat Great White Sharks so *kitten* those Facebook fools! You have to live your life on your terms. Piss on all others who want to impede your progress. You don't have time for their nonsense.16
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You've listed all the reasons you want to do this. If that doesn't push you, no one else can. What this site can do is give you tools that help you accomplish your goals.
You have a lot of changes to make and no one can make all of them at once. Start by getting a food scale, weigh, and log everything you eat. Don't worry about what to change until you've done that for 2 weeks. Then you can make a plan for a series of Small changes10 -
You have really great reasons to make changes to improve the quality of your life and do the things you want to do.
I agree with starting logging what you currently eat and making small sustainable changes over time.
I made a decision to not talk about my weight, losses or goal on Facebook or with anyone other than my husband and daughter who live with me or anonymous strangers on MFP. Since I did not dramatically change my behavior or type of food I ate no one really commented.5 -
I hear your motivation clearly. You are ready for change. Big first step!
Everyone who posts here knows it can be done. Choose your own style, and commit to it. Not a diet - a lifestyle. All foods fit in. Some will slow your progress, so you take a taste, not a soup bowl.
Personally I am working on high protein low carb. Not no carb - low, with fruits n veg as the main source. I am never hungry. Benefiber is my friend (TMI).
I have lost almost 100 with 75 to go before deciding on final goal.
What an example you will set for your family when you nourish them the way you nourish yourself and actively play with them! Create a vision board with what you look forward to. Slides? Swings? Family walks? New bathing suit? Picture of the plus-size section with a big X through it? Enjoy!
I also say, walk walk walk, drink drink drink.8 -
First of all you can set your Facebook settings so only your family and friends can see ur posts. Second it sounds like you know the answer. You are at the right place. The same effort you put into your successful business and family life is the same effort you need to put into YOU! Baby steps one day at a time. You can get to where u want to be. It's not coming off overnight. Be patient and enjoy the journey.
Good luck!4 -
Maybe set your FB to private. People can be so harsh. I'm sorry you've had such an awful experience.2
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Spliner1969 wrote: »1. Cut whoever is calling you a whale out of your life completely. They're not worth the time it took you to read that comment, much less any time spent fretting about it.
2. Complete your fitness profile here and start diligently logging your food and activity.
3. Read the forum stickies if you haven't already.
4. Add friends if you'd like, but don't think of them as a means to push or motivate you. Think of it as a way to keep the journey fun and interesting. Like road tripping with a group of friends rather than driving across Kansas on your own with no radio
Great advice. Here's the good news for the OP. She's 30. She's still young and has plenty of time to make a change. Being young will mean her body will snap back easier, and over time she can make a transformation that will make a difference for her as long as she doesn't get in a big hurry and get discouraged. It takes time, patience, and consistency. Oh and yea, cut the person on Facebook out of your life.
Unless you're buried 6 feet under everyone at any age has plenty of time to make a change.
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My advice to you is this: concentrate on keeping track on MFP, of things you normally eat, for a week. At that time, evaluate it--look at not only calories, but carbs, proteins, fats, sugars. Then the next week, focus on increasing one thing--protein, for example. And focus on decreasing another--carbs for example. See how easy or hard it is to do that, and just keep working at it. It won't be easy, but I will bet you will start to see results slowly, but surely. And don't forget to stay hydrated. Find out what foods give you the results you want, and which seem to be holding you back. Over time your cravings will change and you will feel energized. My top weight was 375, and I felt absolutely awful. Today, my scale says 269, and I am doing things I haven't done in years! It is a life long process, but the more you lose, the longer your life will be! Ignore the small minded haters--they are not worthy of taking up time in your life making you feel bad. Good luck and keep us up to date on how things are going.5
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I wish you a happy journey to get where you want to be. Cut out the folks who are insulting. Ignore the people who can't help but make an *kitten* of themselves by attempting to shame someone else (they do it in hopes of making themselves feel better). Those people are just looking for targets, don't be one by reacting to them.
FWIW, and as an FYI a whale is also a term for online gamers who have lots of $$$ to buy anything they want. Not how we hear it used around here, but just wanted to spread a little info.1 -
I have nothing more to add to what the other posters have said above; they are all spot on.
But I can offer encouragement and support if you need it!
I just don't understand mean people; they must be miserable....sorry that happened to you.3 -
I just wanted to say that it IS possible. My heaviest weight was at least 7 lbs over where you are now. Today I fluctuate in the 147-152 range. That high weight wasn't just baby weight, that was from an entire lifetime of obesity. I'm proof that it IS possible, and if I can do it, anyone can...but you can't give up.
Little Bit is my "why." I do it to keep up with her, to lead by example, and to be around as long as I possibly can, so I truly get it. I'll be 60 when she graduates high school, I don't want to be the oldest, slowest, least fun parent. Think of all of those things that you listed that you want. You know how you can get them? Hard work. Dedication to yourself and your health. Determination. Drive. Little changes add up and you don't have to go to extremes. One sustainable change at at time--drink more water and give up soda, for example. Make healthier choices. Log every bite. You CAN do it.
F that person on FB. Some people love to share their special brand of self-loathing by trying to make others feel like crap. I'm betting that person doesn't have a loving husband and a successful business. Don't let the haters in. The process of losing weight/getting healthy is not linear. If you have a bad day, dust yourself off and move on. You and your family are worth it.12 -
That's terrible
Some people are so evil and don't know how to support or build others and just try to scrap out some self-worth by taring others down.
I don't have a lot of advice except, be kind to yourself. Maybe do a little sluething, how do you feel after particular meals? (grains make me tired, eggs always make my hungrier). What meals would be easy to swap? (In my 30's I started brown bagging my lunch everyday to work and that made a big difference).
Make gentle kind changes in your life to treat yourself like the queen bee your are and maybe see a good doctor. My weight is primarily hormone related. My daughter has PCOS and her weight is hormones. If you want to get weight loss surgery, a few friends of mine have done that with great results.
You are always free to say, "No, this does not work for me." Period. It doesn't work for you move on. I've tried a myriad of different diets on for size just to see if they would work for me. Usually there was something about them I liked and kept and it was useful to have the experience and learn more about food.
Personally I deleted my Facebook account. I know that's almost unheard of, but it was a major source of anxiety in my day. I now share with my family via e-mail, postcards and phone calls. I miss it sometimes, but it sucked down a lot of time and was very distracting. It also gave me unfair messages about myself (I'm such a loser) and helped shape my internal sense of reality (like how the country was on fire and everything was doomed). After withdrawing for months from that, my focus is better, my anxiety is down and I'm thinking better for myself.
So yeah, beware of groups giving advice - ever! Haha. Good luck to you! ((Hugs))3 -
Some of you guys bring tears to my eyes. I'm so grateful for all of you. I've never had so many people believe in me11
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I am sorry you were mistreated. I am struggling a bit myself right now. I lost 100 pounds but slowly gained 30 back.. Right now my goal is just to log my calories. I don't care if I am over.. Just admit the good and bad. Take it a day at a time and make small goals. I hope to start coming being at my calorie goal next Monday.2
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Ladybug_lover wrote: »Hi! My name is Amanda and I have been battling with my weight since I had my first son 10 years ago. When I sit back and think that I let myself go to this point it makes me sick to my stomach. I had one child after another and gained almost a hundred pounds each from both of them. Here I am now at 380 lb and struggling with fun activities I want to do with my children. Not to mention being fat-shamed and called things like a whale on Facebook on the daily from people I don't know. It really brings down your self-esteem and makes you sometimes feel like you don't even want to live anymore. Here I am 30 years old with really a great life. We own our house our car I have been married for five years and my children are 9 and 10. I run a successful business and my husband loves me unconditionally. Even though I have such a great life the one thing holding me back the most is my weight. I can't ride rides with the kids when we go on vacation I can't run around in the backyard with them and play football, and I get out of breath even walking up the stairs to kiss them goodnight. I have been on my fitness pal for a long time but just yesterday for restarted my journey. I want to live and even better life than what I am now. I want to be able to shop in the regular section at the store. I want to be able to buy an awesome pair of tall boots that will fit around my swollen ankles. I want to roll around in the snow and build a snowman with my kids. I'm on here opening myself up like this because I feel like I need more people backing me up so that I can succeed. my only support is my husband and while i love him and is so grateful for him, i really need some friends to help push me! Thank you for reading!
Reading that some idiot (that doesn't even know you!) on Facebook called you whale is making my blood boil. I hope you are proud of all of your accomplishments; your beautiful family and your own home, car, and business. I understand about being unhappy with your extra weight. May I recommend baby steps, one day at a time, one accomplishment at a time. Set small goals for yourself. Maybe such as walk up the stairs x times per day for one week, then raise that number the next week, and so forth. You will also need to devise a food plan, and be careful with it, which is very difficult with small children, as it's so easy for mom to just eat what they don't, instead of throwing it away. But changing your mindset, again, small, doable changes in small increments, is key.
Logging every morsel is challenging at times, but it works. Reading the posts on this site are helpful, I think. You got this, girl!3 -
I am finding eating high fiber and eliminating most processed stuff especially processed sugar is able to remove food cravings and stop hunger.2
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You can do it. It doesn't even have to be hard. Just have to get the ball rolling.
Hugs and kisses for you, and a fart on that c-bag who called you a whale.8 -
I applaud you for wanting to make changes. That is brave and admirable! Many people have success here. Good luck!1
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1. Cut whoever is calling you a whale out of your life completely. They're not worth the time it took you to read that comment, much less any time spent fretting about it.
2. Complete your fitness profile here and start diligently logging your food and activity.
3. Read the forum stickies if you haven't already.
4. Add friends if you'd like, but don't think of them as a means to push or motivate you. Think of it as a way to keep the journey fun and interesting. Like road tripping with a group of friends rather than driving across Kansas on your own with no radio
Just loved this post! That was the first thing I thought... OP, you need to go through and either unfriend people or adjust your privacy settings.
The second thing I thought was, you can absolutely do this! I'm a lot older than you, but also found myself with young kids that I couldn't keep up with and was feeling bad, physically & mentally, all the time. Don't focus on the overwhelming picture of needing to lose X amount of weight. Set up your profile with a reasonable weekly goal, and just focus each day on the number you need to hit... that's all. Don't overthink it, or try to overhaul your entire lifestyle. Just meet your calorie goal. I know I expected to feel deprived, but when you start of bigger (like I did), you still can eat plenty & lose. Welcome & wish you the best! 1
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