Was called a whale yesterday
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I just wanted to say that it IS possible. My heaviest weight was at least 7 lbs over where you are now. Today I fluctuate in the 147-152 range. That high weight wasn't just baby weight, that was from an entire lifetime of obesity. I'm proof that it IS possible, and if I can do it, anyone can...but you can't give up.
Little Bit is my "why." I do it to keep up with her, to lead by example, and to be around as long as I possibly can, so I truly get it. I'll be 60 when she graduates high school, I don't want to be the oldest, slowest, least fun parent. Think of all of those things that you listed that you want. You know how you can get them? Hard work. Dedication to yourself and your health. Determination. Drive. Little changes add up and you don't have to go to extremes. One sustainable change at at time--drink more water and give up soda, for example. Make healthier choices. Log every bite. You CAN do it.
F that person on FB. Some people love to share their special brand of self-loathing by trying to make others feel like crap. I'm betting that person doesn't have a loving husband and a successful business. Don't let the haters in. The process of losing weight/getting healthy is not linear. If you have a bad day, dust yourself off and move on. You and your family are worth it.12 -
That's terrible Some people are so evil and don't know how to support or build others and just try to scrap out some self-worth by taring others down.
I don't have a lot of advice except, be kind to yourself. Maybe do a little sluething, how do you feel after particular meals? (grains make me tired, eggs always make my hungrier). What meals would be easy to swap? (In my 30's I started brown bagging my lunch everyday to work and that made a big difference).
Make gentle kind changes in your life to treat yourself like the queen bee your are and maybe see a good doctor. My weight is primarily hormone related. My daughter has PCOS and her weight is hormones. If you want to get weight loss surgery, a few friends of mine have done that with great results.
You are always free to say, "No, this does not work for me." Period. It doesn't work for you move on. I've tried a myriad of different diets on for size just to see if they would work for me. Usually there was something about them I liked and kept and it was useful to have the experience and learn more about food.
Personally I deleted my Facebook account. I know that's almost unheard of, but it was a major source of anxiety in my day. I now share with my family via e-mail, postcards and phone calls. I miss it sometimes, but it sucked down a lot of time and was very distracting. It also gave me unfair messages about myself (I'm such a loser) and helped shape my internal sense of reality (like how the country was on fire and everything was doomed). After withdrawing for months from that, my focus is better, my anxiety is down and I'm thinking better for myself.
So yeah, beware of groups giving advice - ever! Haha. Good luck to you! ((Hugs))3 -
Some of you guys bring tears to my eyes. I'm so grateful for all of you. I've never had so many people believe in me11
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I am sorry you were mistreated. I am struggling a bit myself right now. I lost 100 pounds but slowly gained 30 back.. Right now my goal is just to log my calories. I don't care if I am over.. Just admit the good and bad. Take it a day at a time and make small goals. I hope to start coming being at my calorie goal next Monday.2
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Ladybug_lover wrote: »Hi! My name is Amanda and I have been battling with my weight since I had my first son 10 years ago. When I sit back and think that I let myself go to this point it makes me sick to my stomach. I had one child after another and gained almost a hundred pounds each from both of them. Here I am now at 380 lb and struggling with fun activities I want to do with my children. Not to mention being fat-shamed and called things like a whale on Facebook on the daily from people I don't know. It really brings down your self-esteem and makes you sometimes feel like you don't even want to live anymore. Here I am 30 years old with really a great life. We own our house our car I have been married for five years and my children are 9 and 10. I run a successful business and my husband loves me unconditionally. Even though I have such a great life the one thing holding me back the most is my weight. I can't ride rides with the kids when we go on vacation I can't run around in the backyard with them and play football, and I get out of breath even walking up the stairs to kiss them goodnight. I have been on my fitness pal for a long time but just yesterday for restarted my journey. I want to live and even better life than what I am now. I want to be able to shop in the regular section at the store. I want to be able to buy an awesome pair of tall boots that will fit around my swollen ankles. I want to roll around in the snow and build a snowman with my kids. I'm on here opening myself up like this because I feel like I need more people backing me up so that I can succeed. my only support is my husband and while i love him and is so grateful for him, i really need some friends to help push me! Thank you for reading!
Reading that some idiot (that doesn't even know you!) on Facebook called you whale is making my blood boil. I hope you are proud of all of your accomplishments; your beautiful family and your own home, car, and business. I understand about being unhappy with your extra weight. May I recommend baby steps, one day at a time, one accomplishment at a time. Set small goals for yourself. Maybe such as walk up the stairs x times per day for one week, then raise that number the next week, and so forth. You will also need to devise a food plan, and be careful with it, which is very difficult with small children, as it's so easy for mom to just eat what they don't, instead of throwing it away. But changing your mindset, again, small, doable changes in small increments, is key.
Logging every morsel is challenging at times, but it works. Reading the posts on this site are helpful, I think. You got this, girl!3 -
I am finding eating high fiber and eliminating most processed stuff especially processed sugar is able to remove food cravings and stop hunger.2
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You can do it. It doesn't even have to be hard. Just have to get the ball rolling.
Hugs and kisses for you, and a fart on that c-bag who called you a whale.8 -
I applaud you for wanting to make changes. That is brave and admirable! Many people have success here. Good luck!1
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1. Cut whoever is calling you a whale out of your life completely. They're not worth the time it took you to read that comment, much less any time spent fretting about it.
2. Complete your fitness profile here and start diligently logging your food and activity.
3. Read the forum stickies if you haven't already.
4. Add friends if you'd like, but don't think of them as a means to push or motivate you. Think of it as a way to keep the journey fun and interesting. Like road tripping with a group of friends rather than driving across Kansas on your own with no radio
Just loved this post! That was the first thing I thought... OP, you need to go through and either unfriend people or adjust your privacy settings.
The second thing I thought was, you can absolutely do this! I'm a lot older than you, but also found myself with young kids that I couldn't keep up with and was feeling bad, physically & mentally, all the time. Don't focus on the overwhelming picture of needing to lose X amount of weight. Set up your profile with a reasonable weekly goal, and just focus each day on the number you need to hit... that's all. Don't overthink it, or try to overhaul your entire lifestyle. Just meet your calorie goal. I know I expected to feel deprived, but when you start of bigger (like I did), you still can eat plenty & lose. Welcome & wish you the best!1 -
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With respect, I've lost 108 lbs in a year while eating every one of the things you mentioned. In fact I've eaten every one of them - Halloween candy, my husband's birthday cake, Halo Top last night, bacon my husband made me for breakfast, and I just had a roll with dinner - in the past month, while staying within my calorie goals and losing weight. It's life, not a torture chamber, and there's no prize for who suffers the most.
Amanda, hi there! The advice you got to log for a week and then look at your diary and see where you are and how best to make changes is good advice. Figure out what makes you likely to overeat and how you can work around or avoid those situations, foods, places, or people. Can you substitute lower calorie options for some foods? Are there foods you should be eating that you could add? For example, I used to grab a candy bar instead of fruit when I wanted something sweet, because candy is easier. I crave it much less when I get enough fruit.
You have a great motivation in wanting to enjoy life with your family! Losing just 5 or 10% of your body weight has huge health benefits - you can definitely do that, and a small goal may help you keep from feeling overwhelmed at first. You've already done the hardest part by deciding to do something about your health.
At first you may not be able to be very active, but finding something you can do will make a huge difference in your ability to do more. Just walk around your house, swing water bottles or soup cans around while you watch TV. Each day do a little more. You will be amazed at what you can do.6 -
It's all about you - something will click, the pieces will align, and you will do IT. Hopping onto MyFitnessPal is a great start
I've been called "fat" by complete strangers in public. It cuts like a knife.4 -
You've listed all the reasons you want to do this. If that doesn't push you, no one else can. What this site can do is give you tools that help you accomplish your goals.
You have a lot of changes to make and no one can make all of them at once. Start by getting a food scale, weigh, and log everything you eat. Don't worry about what to change until you've done that for 2 weeks. Then you can make a plan for a series of Small changes
This, in addition to the other great and insightful things! YOU CAN DO THIS. You did list all your reasons and they are good ones. Write them down in a note on your phone, stickynote on the refrigerator, 3x5 next to your debit card ... wherever it will remind you when you feel your knees wobble and your resolve soften, and we all do. Losing weight is a journey of single, small choices done "right enough" (not perfectly!) over a long, patient period of time. And that food scale and the logging will help you find out what "right enough" is for you.
Good luck! Sent you a FR!3 -
Painful words, I feel your pain. Been obese most of my life. I used to be called Fatboy all the time. I now use that name to motivate me.5
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All I'll add is that I wish you happiness and health. Whatever form that takes.2
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Here’s a quote to inspire.
http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/trsorbonnespeech.html
With others I agree that you can change your privacy settings on Facebook. The motive to drive you forward is being to do more stuff with your children. The increased vitality gains are so, so, wonderful.
I suggest small weekly goals as in, go for three walks this week. Then re evaluate. Keep doing what works and make small changes where you need to.
Everest is conquered by staging camps. The successful climbers focus on getting to the next camp. That’s it.3 -
And I'll say one more thing that may have already been mentioned (haven't been through all the posts just yet):
Please be kind to yourself.
You will have hard days. You will make bad choices from time to time about how much or what you eat or will choose not to exercise one day. But DON'T beat yourself up about it and give up. I used to be bad about this. I'd have 1 bad day and then I'd allow it to turn into 2 bad days, then 3, then I'd be back to that tubby place and have to start all over.
Just pick yourself up, reach out here for support and get right back to it the next day.
xoxoxo5 -
TavistockToad wrote: »You can succeed if you put your mind to it, not because of your husband or anyone else.
If you do it because of other people you are automatically setting yourself up to fail with a handy excuse of 'it was their fault, they didn't support me'.
This. People can't make changes for you and they wont always actively encourage and support you. Sad but true. Do it for you because you deserve better and because you can. You can do anything you put your mind to. But you have to start. ...
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Cut all the contact with those that call you names that is going to be detrimental to your weight loss success. To start with log all your food and drink honestly, make a point of logging on MFP everyday and gradually increase your mobility. Enlist the help of some good supportive friends on MFP and if you keep an open food diary we can help you with food choices if that is what you want. Good luck and show those loser name callers what you have achieved.2
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best advise I can give is chart every day even if you go over your calories , water and fiber are your friends , fiber in its many forms helps keep you full . I am almost half way to my goal in 6 months , and with out fiber supplements and fiber rich foods like broth based soups full of high fiber vegetables , I would not have made it this far . Hunger is the enemy,, plan your day so you are not hungry ,do not wait until you are super hungry to plan meals or snacks , hunger can make you crave things that are not healthy choices, and make you eat in quantities that will slow your progress . I do not mean only eat low cal foods , make sure you save some calories for your favorite foods because you do not want to feel deprived . if you are too strict you will get frustrated.
you can do this, we are here .2
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