Hiding Weight Loss From Friends

Pearsquared

I only told my parents when I first started, and my boss when he noticed. My coworkers probably noticed, but didn't say anything. I only talk about it with one of them because he's the only one I trust to be supportive (in his own way - he has the best one-liners).

witmer1

Why would you hide something that betters yourself? It helps you to be accountable. As long as you're doing what you're doing for YOU and are committed to making YOU better and hitting YOUR goals, no other opinion matters. If you don't hit a goal, do it again. Fail until you succeed. Don't stop.

HeidiCooksSupper

When I first started, only hubby knew. But then I thought about my Mom. She's just turned 90 so any day we could get that phone call. She worries about me because she's my mom. Would she be happy if I were trying to lose weight? Would I feel rotten if she died before I had a chance to make her happy? So I told her right away. I told others as I felt like it. So, if you have someone who loves you and would be happy and less worried about you because you are trying. Tell them. They love you.

parallelfifths

I have always tried to keep my attempts secret, mostly to avoid bringing any extra attention to my weight at all! However, I'm trying a new thing this time around--getting brave and making it known among the people who care about me. It gives me some serious accountability and, for the most part, I'm shocked at how incredibly supportive and wonderful most people are, even the teenagers I work with. I've kept my personal struggles a secret for too long.... I thought it was time to try for something scary and new.

HacheraTsarine

I don't tell anyone. If someone notices, then good. If nobody notices, well, whatev's.

I won't talk about it because:
- I feel like my every move are being watched ("It's so lovely out, why aren't working out like you said you would?" or "Are you really going to order THAT? I thought you were on a DIET?"),
- I get unwanted, stupid advice ("Once, I stop eating for 51 days and dropped weight like that! Part of that weight was also from my teeth falling out, but it was all worth it", "Drink 60 gallons of water and have nothing but negative calorie food"),
- I'm never sure if people are being sincere when they compliment me on my weight loss and I don't need that.
- People try to talk to me out of it ("Girl, you ain't fat. Why do you wanna lose weight?" ...as if my clothes stopped fitting me all of a sudden because they ALL shrank.....THAT's plausible)
- People will try to make me feel bad about it ("If you think YOU're fat, then what do you think I am?"....I think you're 50lbs heavier than me because I have eyes, and you can do whatever you want with your body, I don't care)


phew...that was quite the rant

Senalj

I don't say anything for a different reason: I get tired of people asking me how it's going and what I'm doing. That puts more pressure on me than I want. Also, if I don't show the weight loss as fast as some think I should, I get comments about how hard I'm really working. I don't want to justify what I am or am not doing, so I don't open the door for it. Once someone notices my clothes are fitting differently, and comment on how good I look, I'll thank them and keep going. If they truly want to know what I'm doing, I'll share, but I don't feel the need to field comments and advice from the peanut gallery throughout my journey.

Brad805

I don't think it is strange at all. This is my second bout with this journey, and I told my sister not long ago that I felt odd talking to acquaintances about the weight loss because of that. She pointed out that it is unlikely anyone remembers. That is probably very true considering the typical comment I get now is, "have you lost weight?" I think we are either the type that needs to talk about things or the type that just goes about their own thing for themselves without seeking approval from others. I am the latter, and at this point that is helpful. My friends and family may make the odd comment or try to get me to eat now, but they do so out of kindness and do not try to force their silly ideals upon me like I read about so often.

Keep trucking.

needtoloseafewpounds

Weight loss is a personal topic so not discussing it with anyone is not exactly "hiding" it So in short, no it is not strange. I do talk about my weight loss to my boyfriend, though and he's always telling me how good I'm doing but sometimes there will be friends out there who will try to impede your weight loss by telling you to "eat more" tactfully or telling you to set your weight goal a certain way because some people are just jealous like that no matter how good of a person they may be. Your own personal life is all your business and no one else's so don't ever feel the need to tell anyone if you're uncomfortable with it. However if you do have supportive friends or friends that would love to join you in weight loss, it couldn't hurt to ask them to join you. You can have weekly jogs with them or even hit them gym together! I know from experience since I go to the gym 5 days a week with my sister that it helps to have someone ask you "are you going?" "let's go." "Come on, I'm going to go alone then." to give you that extra push However you have to be motivated or else when your friend says "I don't feel like going today." you may want to skip with them as well... haha.
Anyway, this is for you to judge and whatever you choose, I hope you're happy ^^

drojen

I don't consider it hiding it, I just consider it keeping it quiet. I haven't told anyone, except my cousin, that I'm not only eating better, but going to a gym and exercising. I've lost almost 50 lbs and I've only recently had someone notice at work. When they asked if I was losing weight, I told them I was simply watching what I eat for sodium (due to high blood pressure) and suger (due to being pre-diabetic). As a result of that, I've dropped some lbs. But only 1 person, my cousin, knows my ultimate goals. As for motivation, it must come from within. I find I feel less "pressure" to succeed when no one knows what I'm doing. When I refuse a piece of cake or something salty, it's because of health issues, not because I want to lose weight. People can't argue with that. BTW, I don't always refuse that piece of cake, but when I eat something sweet, it has to be really, really good so it's really, really worth it.

berriboobear

I don't think it's strange, because it's definitely a completely personal thing for me. Only my immediate family and one of my closest friends really know how into it I am right now.

I don't want that attention called to me, and I don't usually broadcast things like that anyways ><

BluejayNY

I did not hide it from people but I also didn't make an announcement. This was my own personal battle. When people started noticing the weight loss and asked if it was purposeful, I told them it was.

BatCola

I don't really say much, unless asked. Years ago, I did tell everyone, and you wouldn't believe the amount of people who tried to sabotage my efforts, offering biscuits, cakes, sweets, etc. It was really annoying.

Also, if I am out and about and am offered something calorific to eat - I don't say "No I can't I'm on a diet", I just politely say "oh, I've just eaten and I'm not very hungry". If you say you're on a diet , they turn into Mrs Doyle from Father Ted - "You'll have some.. are you sure you don't want any? Aw go on, you'll have some. Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on GO ON! ! Lol!

Yep this is why I hide it... bottom line some people become jealous... say you're on a diet it's caddy-bar the door here is food, buns, and chocolate.... So yeah... I can relate.

Korkor90

You dont need to mention anything...unless you are a social butterfly and you are always out with them. Then is when it might be needed to they dont unknowingly try and eat food that you are strictly trying to avoid. But besides that dont mention anything unless people notice and then begin to ask you.

Brige2269

I don't say much to co-workers. In the past, when I did, and I had noticably lost weight, that's when they would offer me the snacks that are usually in the hallway. But, when I don't say anything, nor does anyone else. I just don't want it to be known for the same reasons.

jlahorn

I am so confused by this thread. I read the words, but they don't really parse.

Why would anyone ever announce that they were on a diet, or changing what they eat, or anything to anyone who doesn't have a practical need to know? Of course you'd tell your doctor, your trainer, and anyone you need help from - I certainly had to ask my husband to stop bringing my trigger foods into the house. Other than that, whose business is it? What do you accomplish by saying anything? Do you enjoy drawing people's attention to your weight and to what you eat?

"Would you like some cake?"
"No, thank you."
"Aw, come on."
"I'm don't want any, but thank you. [Change subject]"

"Why are you eating salad?"
"I felt like a salad. [Change subject]"

"You look like you've lost weight. Are you on a diet?" (SO rude and should never come out of anybody's mouth, but I know that's the way the world works.)
"Hm? No. [Change subject]"

I eat more healthily than I used to and I get more exercise. Besides me, who really cares? It doesn't change who I am. My husband and friends love me just as much either way. ...I don't get it.

dawn_h_d

Thanks for all the points of view. I really appreciate it. I am just the type of person that has not done things in the past due to the possibility of failure (not just losing weight), and since I have "relapsed" (I don't want to say fail) before, I am just trying to find out the best places to get support.

Luckily for me, my group of friends are quite diverse - men, women, short, tall, skinny, fat, etc - and it does make for a great group of folks, but not all of them have the same issues as me and vice versa. As an example, I don't have kids (no particular reason - just don't), so I admit I do not understand all the issues that can arise with kids.

In 2009, a friend of mine started on diet pills from her doctor the same week I joined Curves. We didn't know each other was doing it, and it just came out in conversation a couple weeks afterwards. She lost more weight, and has kept it off, but I almost feel like I have more of a victory because I have not used meds to control my weight/appetite. It did become a small competition. I am happy for her, we just had different points of view on losing weight. I will also admit that I am sort of jealous that she did keep it off. I wil be honest about that.

What it comes down to, is that I want support, but at the same time I want no competition this time. I know it seems very petty, but that is one reason I am excited to have MFP.

Again, thanks everyone. Good luck!!