Question for Ladies who have Lost Weight

JillianRumrill

I have this nagging fear in the back of my head that once I drop all my weight and look like the stunning beauty I know I am (oh so humble!), I'm scared people will mess with me.
Being overweight all my life has been like a suit of armor, nobody would dare kidnap the "fat girl" (and if they could, they've earned it!). I know that this fear stems from my mom's paranoid/anxiety disorder and it is irrational. Most people are good and decent. I already know first hand as I am a people person.
I'm just worried things will change, that all of a sudden, masked assailants will jump out of the bushes or strange weirdos will try to grab my butt. Please tell me this is not true, that nothing really changes (I don't mind a few cat-calls tho, I quite enjoy that LOL).

estherdragonbat

So far, all the feedback has been positive. I haven't been accosted or received unwanted attention.

bikecheryl

If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?

Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!!

laurenebargar

I agree with the self defense class! If your worried about it then this could really help you

Rocknut53

You could do like I did and wait til you're in your 60's to lose the weight. No cat calls and the only one to grab my butt is my hubby. Oh how I wish I'd done this many years ago, but better late than never.

toolzz

Running away from over zealous admirers just adds to my calorie burn

dsboohead

bikecheryl wrote: »

If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?

Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!!

You must be a Dad of daughters! If you aren't you should be

KnitterNotAQuitter

Guys can be creepy no matter your size. Last night, a creepy guy at the gym used the treadmill next to me (there were like 20 others not directly next to me to choose from). I brushed it off as he was awkward, then he left. But apparently he was watching me somewhere because he followed me to my car in the dark to tell me I looked good and he “likes ‘em plump.” I weigh ~330 pounds, and this guy was old enough to be my father. BARF.

RoxieDawn

Its not like you go from your current size to the stunning beauty in one day.

For me they have to catch me first if they wanna grab me or my butt. Learn to run, maybe kickboxing too.

dancefit2015

I've only lost 20 lbs so I don't have advice, but I have this same fear! I want to travel the world and for some reason I worry being thin will increase my chances of being assaulted or kidnapped. I really want to take self defense classes and build up my strength so that I will feel less vulnerable, just knowing I have the ability to defend myself will probably ease my mind a ton.

becky10rp

Nope. But my husband says I have a constant 'don't fu*k with me' look, so there's that.

KnitterNotAQuitter

TenaciousGymKitten wrote: »

Ok.. this is called "stalking" and the police should have been called. No part of that was acceptable.

Totally. I plan on letting the gym know when I go back tonight.

Rawr1978

If you have a kim k butt, be prepared for people to try to at least smack it. It's been happening to me ever since i developed it at 18. Do i mind? No. I mind when the grabbing happens. Unless you know me and i like you, you'll lose a hand.
As for the kidnapping/assault...ive never heard of that happening just because someone looks good.

Need2Exerc1se

Predators look for victims, not for "pretty" or "hot". They want someone who won't fight back. They want to get away with it. People aren't kidnapped because of being attractive, it's more about opportunity and vulnerability. Learn to protect yourself.

creatureofchaos

We have a toxic association in our culture that tells us that when a woman is “beautiful” she is “small” and “prey.” To get past your anxiety, stop thinking that your goal is to lose weight and be prettier. Make your goal to be stronger and more athletic - to do 100 push ups, to run a certain race, etc. Don’t measure your success in pounds lost but but pounds you can lift.

You will meet some badass, beautiful women on your journey (it won’t be a short one) who will help you stop equating prettiness and victimhood. But that takes time. Right now, just start by changing your goal.

Treece68

You may get more attention but I doubt anyone will jump out and grab you, but why not take a martial arts class and learn how to fight while getting leaner.

sdolan91

I've gotten more attention but not negatively. I enjoy the compliments! : D

FelinaDC

Unfortunately, as your looks change you may appeal to a wider audience since "skinny" is the so called "standard" of beauty in the US. I haven't noticed any strangers hitting on me or being creepy, it's actually been people that I already know that have come out of the woodwork. Some that I've known for YEARS are all of a sudden asking me out and even my trainer who has been training me for over a year recently started asking about my relationship status and hinting that he likes me.

I wouldn't let this fear of being treated differently be a deterrent to your weight loss goals just know that if someone is really interested in you they would be at any size...

kristen8000

Well, I'm tall, 5'11. I was tall when I was 193lbs and I'm tall now at 142lbs. So the scared of being "small and defenseless" really wasn't an issue for me at either weight. It's not like people see me as frail and week. I'm still towering over most of them. And for the unwanted attention, honestly, I didn't become that much better looking. Just thinner. People see I'm 193 anymore, but I'm still me.

Honestly, it sounds like you are trying to find reasons not to lose the weight. Like part of you is scared what it will be like. It's really no different. Your clothes are smaller. You fit on planes easier (but honestly even at a BMI 19.8, I still have issues on planes...). You can move easier, you are lighter. That's it. It's not like when you get to goal weight you automatically walk the run ways of Milan. You may have more confidence, you may not.

But I do have to say, losing the weight is worth it. For your health and just your well being. I never felt good overweight. I feel like I should now.

Mslmesq

If you honestly have a fear of this, and since you have a mother with an anxiety disorder, may I suggest therapy. I’m not saying that in a bitchy way. I had a mother with mental problems also, and therapy greatly helped me. Hoping the same for you.

GoldenEye_

Even when I was 18, fit right into that beauty standard of an hourglass figure and a bmi of 19.4 I was treated with respect by men. Did I get a lot of attention? Yes. Was I ever touched inappropriately? No. Even during my backpack trip in europe for a month, when I was all by myself wandering the streets at night, nothing happened.

As long as you don't dress to provoke that kind of treatment and carry yourself confidently I wouldn't worry about a thing. If you keep worrying about it I think others have made excellent suggestions. Good luck overcoming your fears!