Question for Ladies who have Lost Weight

USAMcK

I grew up pretty and thin and lived to tell about it. You're fine. Don't be irrational. Being fat doesn't make you safe, it just makes you invisible. False sense of security.

dsboohead

dsboohead wrote: »

bikecheryl wrote: »

If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?

Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!!

You must be a Dad of daughters! If you aren't you should be

I am an idiot......the hat had me thinking guy until I maximized the picture and saw woman and saw bikeCHERYL! SORRY bikecheryl!

Adc7225

I get where you are coming from and for several reasons went through some of the same anxiety. It's more than just looking hot it's also coming to terms with your new body. I believe it will pass, some of the suggestions are good. At the absolute minimum try working out doing things you never thought you could. Even something a simple as Lunges or Jumping Jacks, so many to pick from . . . as your body shows you its strength your mind and thoughts will catch-up = Less Fear!

nowine4me

I have anxiety about many irrational things, but have just recently realized that 99.9% of them will never happen. Personal safety is one of these things. Going off the pill has improved my situation tremendously.

Anxiety and hormones often go hand-in-hand. Talk to your doctor and a therapist if needed. Mental issues can be hereditary, no shame in getting help.

rainbowblu

I fully understand how you feel.My mom and being abused as a child left me with fears and anxiety. I thought about taking up martial arts,at least that will give me more confidence in kicking someone's *kitten*.

newheavensearth

Unfortunately there have been a large number of gropings and rapes in my neighborhood so I take self defense and boxing classes. I also run.

As for aggressive behavior, I find it comes from other women- eye rolling, tooth sucking, name calling, flirting with my husband just to start a fight, accusing me of looking at their "man" when it's usually the other way around. Petty and jealous crap.

crewgirl86

I laughed reading this, because I knew it was ridiculous but I've actually had the same thought! I have lost about 50 pounds, and when I was heavier, in a weird way I did feel safer. But now that I am at a healthy weight and have been exercising like a fiend, I feel stronger and faster than ever. I am almost certain I have the speed and endurance to outrun any bad guy! :-)

GoldenEye_

grinning_chick wrote: »

As long as you don't dress to provoke that kind of treatment and carry yourself confidently I wouldn't worry about a thing.

We, as a species, are never going to ever move past the whole victim blaming of "What you wore caused a man to sexually assault you.", are we. Women younger than me are now regurgitating this myth so of course we aren't.

If I wasn't before, I am now actually relieved I have no biological stake in the future of humanity.

Yes, woman! Let's ignore reality in favor of an ideal fantasy world! If we say it doesn't happen it will surely stop happening from now on. Interesting how you see victim blaming in what I said. Of course it's the fault of women who are wary of how they dress because there are guys who think they're above all norms and values of society. (Note: Like said before the heavy assaults are often about power and have little to do with how you dress, I'm not talking about this).

Your comment made me furious for reasons I'm not going to get into here. For this reason this will be the last I'll reply and read of this matter.

QueenBee2018

I agree with the post above 100%, a few years ago I lost 36 pounds and started getting a lot of compliments, more looks from men, nothing at all negative. I am happily married for 29 years so not interested but it did create in me a spirit of fear that I only realized consciously several years later after regaining the weight, and all the aches and pains that go along with it! It's good to be aware of your thinking because then you can change it.

QueenBee2018

Whoops I wasn't on the last page when I wrote my post--agreeing with new lifestyle's post!

bikecheryl

dsboohead wrote: »

bikecheryl wrote: »

If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?

Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!!

You must be a Dad of daughters! If you aren't you should be

Nope.... a mom of twin sons and soon to be Grandma

And a firm believer in the power of self.

Taking back control of my life..... learning to rid myself of the baggage and the weight that went with it has shown me how strong I can be.

My husband is still my knight in shiny armor..... but it's good to know I can ride to my own rescue if needed.

LivingtheLeanDream

Nothing like that has happened to me since I slimmed down...in fact I used to get accosted more when I was overweight because of 'the girls'! men would talk to my chest rather than my face, that always got my goat big time!

leggup

I do get more attention when I'm thinner.. but I'm a 6 ft tall blonde with a very outgoing personality who is super active. I think other factors other than weight play a major role because I still got a lot of attention when I was bigger, especially as the average weight in America creeps higher and higher. I'm comparing me at BMI 19 to me at BMI 24.

I live by a major city (DC) and socialize in one of the crimeyist parts of the country (yeah Baltimore!). I've been followed, harassed, and stolen from but no one has ever touched me. I carry mace and can run.

ccruz985

KnitterNotAQuitter wrote: »

Guys can be creepy no matter your size. Last night, a creepy guy at the gym used the treadmill next to me (there were like 20 others not directly next to me to choose from). I brushed it off as he was awkward, then he left. But apparently he was watching me somewhere because he followed me to my car in the dark to tell me I looked good and he “likes ‘em plump.” I weigh ~330 pounds, and this guy was old enough to be my father. BARF.

I have resting b.... face. And a knife in my purse. So I feel ok.

beaglady

I've lost 50# within the part 18 months. The only difference I've noticed with men is in relation to how I am treated professionally. Now that I am the size of a normal person, I am treated with a normal amount of respect, and as though I know what I am talking about. Previously, I was ignored or discounted more. I do give off a 'don't mess with me' vibe.

JillianRumrill

Thank you everyone so much for your comments. It's funny because typically I'm not a vulnerable type person. I tend to be pretty brash- for example, the majority of my goal weight wardrobe has me looking like I raided Rob Halford's closet! But nonetheless it is an irrational fear which has kept me overweight for far too long. My dad taught me and my brother how to fight and I do carry a weapon on me at all times, but I do have plans for taking a self-defense course some time soon. And I think I will look for a therapist. I saw one quite a long time ago when I was divorced, I think I need to see her again to sort out some other stuff I never quite got to. Thanks everyone!