Miserable

Walkywalkerson

Does dieting make anyone else feel miserable?
I'm trying to look at it as healthier eating rather than a diet - but I still feel like I'm missing out.
I find moderation REALLY difficult - so I thought by cutting down on sugar would help.
Lower carbs, higher fats = fuller and satisfied.
Which is true ....
But the craving for sugar is intense!
Last night I attempted moderation - 1 biscuit that led to 5 and then a small binge

TavistockToad

missing out on what?

what are your goals?

i don't find cutting miserable as i am just eating all of the same things but less of them than i would at maintenance.

kommodevaran

Not really. Healthy eating should be easy and make you feel good. I haven't just cut down on random things, I have learnt to appreciate eating less overall - enough, but not too much. I don't demonize any foods, food groups or nutrients. I eat anything I want, but not everything at once, and not all the time.

This process takes time, though, and willingness to accept surprises.

Ann262

I think the minute you say that some beloved food is off limits your mind wants it. I will say sugar cravings are real. I agree with the above poster who said healthy eating should make you feel good. Healthy foods taste very good. Try some new recipes! However, you are changing habits and that takes times.

kommodevaran

To add to my post, I avoid having enough of anything to constitute a binge, lying around at any given time.

To add to that, cookies would have to be large in order to make five of them constitute a binge.

RoxieDawn

Changes you make when losing weight, lowering calories and making diet/food choices you should expect that there is going to be an initial period where you physically and mentally have to make adjustments. If you spend too much time for example doing low carb high fat and you find you are not able to stick to it, time to make different adjustments.

Personally LCHF did not work for myself, so I had to work on a better way to eat protein/fats/carbs that suited me better which brought about the right energy balance and satiety. It takes time to figure all of this out as in what works and what you can stick to.

Ainar

I get what you mean, moderation does not work for me either. I used to do this "eat the same but less" and "if it fits your macros" stuff for months. I also tried "one huge cheat meal once a week" approach, instead of having daily limited snacks, as well as "one huge cheat day once a week" approach. It worked a little bit better for me cos most of the time I ate clean and there were no temptations, so you might want to try those approaches. But still, it's way too more discipline. Eventually I just stopped messing with bad foods completely and it works great for me now, cos there are no temptations.

The truth is simply that this "don't restrict yourself with foods, just restrict amounts" philosophy just flat out does not work for many people. What people seem to forget is that we all have different genetics and different personalities. So there simply is no "one size fits all" in health and fitness world.

So maybe moderation approach is not the best for your particular type of personality, just as it isn't for me. The thing about food is that it tends to be addictive. Kinda like smoking, caffeine and even heavier drugs like meth (of course not to the same extent but still). This is into our biology, we are wired to crave sugar, fat and salt cos back where we used to be hunter-gatherers that stuff was very rare in nature, so we are programmed to binge on it while it's available. And it's even worse if combined with somebody who has addiction prone personality.

Naturally when somebody is alcohol addict in recovery you would not try to give them bad drinks in moderation. For them complete abstinence is the best. Just as for some people complete abstinence from processed sugars is the best approach. Eventually your body and brain will adjust and you won't crave them anymore. The hardest part is that "withdrawal" period until the craving habit fades.

So for first month or two you might need to use a lot of discipline, but hold on cos that is temporary. To make it easier I would recommend to not buying those foods and not even having them in your house, if you can. There really is no nutritional value in processed sugars and white flour, so it's not like you need them for health.

You feel miserable cos it's your sugar addicted brain talking. That's really all there is to it. "Detox" yourself and after that mental withdrawal period you will feel miserable or like missing out no more. There are so many wonderful and delicious fruits in nature, if you want something sweet. That is also super healthy for you. That's what you should be worried on missing out, instead of biscuits.

Janice6543

I have dramatically cut down on sugar and "junk food" since starting my weight loss journey 3 months ago. Things were really hard the first few weeks, but you will get used to it as you form new and healthier habits.

Adamanda5

Hang in there! The cravings do get much less intense after the first few weeks. And I have found that it helps to pair food items with higher sugar content with food items that have high protein or fiber. But I try to be picky about desserts (only indulge when it's worth it) and eat a smaller portion size because I know how it's going to affect me. It also helps me to drink a bunch of water right after eating something sugary.

twistedhailstone

My biggest weakness is (was) sugar. I couldn't have a couple of sweets, I'd eat them all and feel sick. I'd dip into the snack cupboard and not really notice just how much I was eating. Just over 7 weeks ago I decided enough was enough, I needed to do something about it and gave myself a target of 10 weeks without eating refined sugar. I bought a wall planner, marked out the days until the end of the target and have been crossing the days off as I go...which is more satisfying than it should be.
I thought it would be really hard but have found it much easier than I could have imagined. I did dream one night that I was stuffing my face with cream cakes and I've stop myself reaching into the snack cupboard (which was more from habit than actually wanting to eat anything). Maybe it's having that goal to focus on which has made it easier but I now find I don't have the same reaction when seeing chocolate, sweets or cakes.
My biggest temptation was 2 tubs of chocolates sitting in my wardrobe. Usually at the beginning of November the supermarkets start having offers on tubs of chocolates which I'll buy to put into my kids advent calendars. I'll see them sitting there and think "oh I'll just have a couple" which ends up with me eating the lot...not all in one sitting but still! Anyway I'd have to buy more tubs as a result. This year I haven't touched them. I have used what I needed for the advent calendars and have put the spares back for Christmas.
Yes I could have cut down but I really don't think that would have worked for me. I still have fruit and find that's enough sugar for me. I feel so much better for doing this, I'm less bloated and less focused on food.
I hope you can get to this point but remember to just take it one day at a time. It seems slow but you'll look back and realise how far you've come.

RLBansonNoond1990

I know exactly how you feel!

Trying to change my lifestyle makes me feel so unhappy because of cravings and worrying/feeling like I'm not having enough to eat or that I'm missing out on nice food.

It's one of the main reasons I started posting on the MFP community because it's helped me feel more focused and motivated!

rybo

This is why so many people fail. They make themselves miserable with an unsustainable approach to weight loss. Generally they want to see results quickly, make lots of changes and restrictions that they cannot sustain.

A good approach is to add rather than subtract. Add nutritional and lower calorie foods (think vegetables and lean protein sources)
Make your goals small, incremental ones that you can build upon instead of lots of sweeping changes

ccruz985

Did you just start? It is soooo much harder when you just start! Once a couple of weeks pass, it really DOES get better. If the issue is that you're hungry all of the time, I'd try volume eating; still count calories BUT make sure most of your food is fruit and veggies. You can eat a lot, esp of veggies. The first few weeks, the only thing I can say is that you gotta keep your eye on the prize. It's temporary but the changes that will happen in your mind and your body and so much bigger and SO worth it.

dimaslopes

you need to change your mentality first. if you think you are miserable because you are dieting, you are just preparing yourself to go back up to your unhealthy life once you lost some pounds.
and yes it is true that your brain gets addicted to sugar or high GI carbs but once you get over at least a week you won't even flinch in front of those foods.
In my case, i noticed that in fact i like the cocoa of the chocolates and other tastes that the sugar only enhances, in fact this sugarly taste is just something that my brain got used to from decades of consumption. So now i just eat some unsweetened dark chocolate (minimum 80%) whenever i need to satisfy my sweet tooth. i also made a single day of the week for cheating to get a little carb back and i don't ever feel the need to stuff my face again.

kenyonhaff

Let's be honest---dieting is HARD WORK. It's NOT easy!

It's also REALLY difficult, I find, the first couple of weeks. Changing habits is really, really difficult. Your body has a deep programming to eat sugary, fatty foods. Your mind will resist things that are "difficult" and not fun.

Have some patience with yourself. Change takes time. It's OK.

See your cookie indulgence as an opportunity to learn. On MFP part of the challenge is that no one tells you what to eat and when. You have to figure out what works for you. That means you are going to have some events that aren't instant successes.

In your case with the cookies: Maybe you need to say no to cookies for a while. Or you may need to plan a sweet treat every day so you don't feel deprived. Perhaps you can find a delicious protein bar (some do exist) that satisfies your need for sweet that fits your goals better than the average cookie. I found upping my protein helped keep me satisfied and helped keep cravings for carbs in check. You have lots of choices!

QueenBee2018

I agree with the above posts, it really does get easier. The thing that has helped me the most is to be nonjudgemental but observant of how foods affect me. The MFP diary has been invaluable for this. I find that if I start the day off with even a small amount of sugar--in my case 1 tsp of honey and milk in my tea, I will crave sugary/ carby things the rest of the day. If I start with a protein drink or boiled eggs, or coffee with half and half, etc I don't get that cravey feeling. See how foods make you feel without being guilty or making a drama over it--just check in with how your body feels, it will give you great feedback on what works for you. You may find it a lot easier just to skip certain trigger foods. The whole moderator vs abstainer concept. The other thing I did was to commit to logging the foods regardless of how the day was going, you get so much information when you look back at your diary. One example for me was tortilla chips-- had 10 chips with my meal thinking I was just having a few-- looked back at the calories I spent and just decided that was so not worth it! Chips aren't the love of my life and are so calorie laden--now I skip them without regret. Knowledge is power.

ladyhusker39

I have never found it particularly difficult and certainly not miserable.

It sounds like you're making too many drastic adjustments to quickly. You can always ease into to it you know. Give yourself time to adjust to small changes.

I've never understood the need to go all out crazy over night. You've got an entire lifetime to do this. Go a little easier on yourself.

misnomer1

You're likely eating too less.

What are your stats. Sex, age, weight height. And daily calorie intake and expenditure goals?

amusedmonkey

It isn't supposed to be effortless (changing habits requires at least some level of awareness), but it isn't supposed to be miserable either. You don't just decide "yeah, I'm now eating healthy" and BOOM! You're perfect at whatever goal you want. It takes time and cultivating a certain mindset, not just random changes (although random changes can be helpful if they add up to habits int he long run). If large steps feel too much why not do small gradual steps instead? What would be the easiest thing for you to change right now? It can be as simple as drinking a glass of water with meals and changing nothing else, or buying a 3 finger kitkat instead of a 4 finger one. Whatever it is, start with it and when it starts feeling too easy add one more thing. The progress may end up very slow, but it sure beats being miserable, quitting, and changing nothing.

Lounmoun

sparklyyeah wrote: »

Does dieting make anyone else feel miserable?
I'm trying to look at it as healthier eating rather than a diet - but I still feel like I'm missing out.
I find moderation REALLY difficult - so I thought by cutting down on sugar would help.
Lower carbs, higher fats = fuller and satisfied.
Which is true ....
But the craving for sugar is intense!
Last night I attempted moderation - 1 biscuit that led to 5 and then a small binge

It takes time to make changes and learn to moderate. I would recommend sticking closer to your previous diet and making smaller changes over time to reduce misery.
If you practice having fewer biscuits regularly or find something sweet that you do not go overboard on you might find in time that moderating sugar isn't as hard.
Have you ever learned to ride a bike or driven a car? Most people don't decide to do those things and are joining races in a couple of weeks. If you wobble on your bike and fall down you get up and ride it again. If you overdo biscuits today try to do better tomorrow.

SteamPug

I found it miserable until I decided to just focus on CICO. Now I eat whatever I like as long as I’m still in a deficit.

spiriteagle99

When I restricted myself too much, I was miserable. I found myself obsessed with food, thinking constantly about my next meal, what I was missing, and how much I wanted to eat more. I can't do 1200 or less as I turn into a raging witch. Perhaps your goal is too restrictive for right now. Maybe instead of trying to lose 1 pound a week, start by trying to lose .5 a week. Exercise more so you can eat a bit more.

cwolfman13

It wasn't effortless, but I wasn't miserable either. I think if you're miserable you're probably making too many drastic changes all at once and also likely have an aggressive deficit. I kept mine at about 1 Lb per week...so a 500 calorie daily deficit which wasn't a big deal really.

I also let my diet evolve over time as part of the process...I didn't just flip a switch...my diet evolved over time to be what it is now in maintenance for about 4.5 years.

Need2Exerc1se

No misery here. There were days when I really wanted to eat more than I allowed myself, but I chose to eat very light during the week so I could eat a lot more on the weekends. Having the weekend to look forward to helped not make the light days miserable.

Fitnessmom82

sparklyyeah wrote: »

Does dieting make anyone else feel miserable?
I'm trying to look at it as healthier eating rather than a diet - but I still feel like I'm missing out.
I find moderation REALLY difficult - so I thought by cutting down on sugar would help.
Lower carbs, higher fats = fuller and satisfied.
Which is true ....
But the craving for sugar is intense!
Last night I attempted moderation - 1 biscuit that led to 5 and then a small binge

At first, yes. Totally miserable! I'm terrible with moderation, and have failed many times. The only way that I have been successful is by cutting out sugar. For one month I had no sweets, no packaged food, no fruit, no breads. It was no fun. But, then I started to feel amazing and realized that I didn't want those things anymore. I still get the occasional craving for something sweet and now I can indulge without binging. One cookie satisfies me and I've got enough mental control to walk away from more.
That method isn't for everyone but it worked well for me!

lucerorojo

For the most part I'm loving it. I'm down 32 lbs. with 68 to go. But losing that weight so far and eating less has improved my health tremendously. No more digestive issues--gas, diarrhea, etc. I'm also starting to get compliments on my appearance again. (Not that I care that much about the compliments--my motivation was my health). I also am much more active than I was with more energy. I used to hardly be able to walk 1.5 miles and now I can do that easily. My clothes fit better, shoes and boots that I couldn't fit because I got fat, now fit me.

I agree with the person who said that you might be restricting TOO MUCH. When I was losing 2 lbs. per week (1000 calorie deficit) I had a cheat day each week. I didn't binge but I could eat what I wanted that day, which was usually about 500 calories more than the rest of the week. I've continued the cheat day with a less agressive loss but I don't always use it.

When I find myself hungry or tired, it is usually because I underate. I cannot do 1200 calories either, so when MFP put me there, I changed my goal to lose less so I could eat more. Today I upped it manually another 120 calories because I felt like where it was (to lose 1.5 lbs--750 cal deficit) wasn't quite working, yet, the next increment (another 500 calories) I had tried as a refeed and it was fine for that but I don't feel I need to eat that much yet. I have a long way to go to reach my goal weight so I'm trying to find the most comfortable for me now, and also consider that my calories are going to continue to decrease as I lose more.

I would recommend that you change your goal to less agressive and/or consider eating at maintenance or even less agressive for a couple of weeks and then if you feel better go back to a larger deficit. The cheat meal or the eat a treat each day (within your calorie limit) might work for you.

Rickster1967

I'm bloody loving it personally

I was a miserable food addicted lock in, calorie counting has liberated me

Packerjohn

You are just getting started. It will get better and you will feel better.

What do you think would make you more miserable. Being a bit hungry now or Type 2 Diabetes/cardiac issues down the line?

WillingtoLose1001984

I am not miserable either. It is so much better to be losing weight and eating less than pigging out and not being able to move. I have a long way to go. that part is the only aspect that makes me miserable. I wish I would have started sooner. I am sick of being so obese. Exercising more allows you to eat a little more even if you don't eat them all back and that feels good! I don't like eating 1600 calories a day but around 2000 with exercise is much more sustainable.

lthames0810

I've been reading these replies with great interest because I have a family member who is also miserable when she attempts to lose weight. She is a hard worker and is very successful at a high stress job. Despite her long hours she gives all of herself to her family and home. I admire her great discipline and capacity for self sacrifice.

But one thing she simply can not do is moderate her eating. She is accustomed to complete hedonism when it comes to eating and just paying any little attention to it makes her miserable. She has maxed out her ration of self discipline and eating with mindfulness overdraws her account.

I'm glad she doesn't ask me for advice because I'm at a loss.

lucerorojo

lthames0810 wrote: »

I've been reading these replies with great interest because I have a family member who is also miserable when she attempts to lose weight. She is a hard worker and is very successful at a high stress job. Despite her long hours she gives all of herself to her family and home. I admire her great discipline and capacity for self sacrifice.

But one thing she simply can not do is moderate her eating. She is accustomed to complete hedonism when it comes to eating and just paying any little attention to it makes her miserable. She has maxed out her ration of self discipline and eating with mindfulness overdraws her account.

I'm glad she doesn't ask me for advice because I'm at a loss.

Well, I think you explained it well. "She has maxed out her ration of self discipline..." There is another thread on MFP which is about this, and will power--you only have so much to spare.

I had a stressful and toxic job and I could not do anything about my weight (except GAIN) while I was at it. I gained over 50 lbs. in 6 years. I had to move on to a different job, reduce the stress in my life, before I could even begin to apply the energy and brain power to focus on my health. This is unfortunate. Ideally one should put one's health (physical and mental) first. Once you get into the cycle of not prioritizing your eating and exercise then it becomes difficult to make it come first with all the other responsibilities.