Quit Putting Yourselves Under a Microscope!

ryenday

OP, love your message, love your teacup icon. Good luck to you!

aliencheesecake

AbstemiousMe wrote: »

"TavistockToad wrote: »

Just using scaleweight as a measure of success is a really bad idea...

Care to unpack that a little bit? Or do you just like to say "You're wrong," without giving any reasons or defending your position?

I'll unpack it. Scale is very deceptive, especially when you're gaining muscle and still getting trim. Also, focusing on the scale instead of "scrutinizing" a mirror is still essentially the same thing. Basing self worth on a number instead of an image.

VintageFeline

GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »

Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?

To the point of the original post, I have something to say. I had a very large baby when I was 40 years old. There's no bouncing back from that. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. I've lost 90 pounds.

I look at myself naked in the mirror every single day as a form of self assessment and an exercise in accepting and noting the changes in my body that all my hard work has done. I can see the difference that a few pounds recently lost has made in how my thighs look, and I am thrilled with that progress.

I can see how my glutes have lifted from the strength training and running I've done. My arms are firmer from all the push ups I do every day. Yes, I flex when I do my mirror review, and my batwings have shrunk over time and if I didn't do my unashamed self-assessment, I wouldn't know that glorious fact.

I have a bit of a mother's pooch of loose skin. I've been at a lower weight for 2 years, but that has shrunken down due to recomposition.

My saddle bags? Well, they're still there, but hey. I'm a work in progress.

I do the naked assessment thing. I've done it for a long time. It is how I came to stop being an early 20s hate myself woman who would go on to continuing to hate themselves. Losing weight has never come from a place of self hatred but, to be hippy drippy, self love. Looking at myself lets me be objective about the good and bad bits. Accept the things I can't change (stretch marks agogo) and the things I am working on.

lemurcat12

IMO, scale weight is not always the be-all, end-all, not everyone wants the scale to go down (and depending on weight it going down may not always be good), and just focusing on the number may promote unhealthy practices like a focus on losing the fastest possible, no matter what.

I also think that there can be healthy and unhealthy ways to focus on improving your body -- for me, some degree of focus on bodily change can be positive, since I'm past being overly self critical. When I was prone to it, and likely to stare in the mirror with self-hatred, I wasn't overweight and being obsessed with the scale number (I felt like a failure because I wasn't 115), was not something likely to improve my mental image issues.

I also see a lot of people freaking because the scale doesn't go down consistently, but bounces a bit, so understanding there's not complete control of that and it's normal is good.

What I found helpful was focusing on a variety of things -- things I had complete control over (eating well and within my calories), non weight goals (exercise and fitness related, like training for a race or increasing weights lifted or getting in a particular amount of exercise according to a plan), clothing goals (I had old jeans in the same brand and aimed to get in each smaller size), and also scale goals. I took some measurements and think that can be a good goal, but I was not consistent with it.

Realizing it's normal and okay to be imperfect (as you said, we all are), and feeling good because I was taking control and making progress for me actually came with getting active again and focusing on what my body could do and not just how it looked (even though at that point I realized I had more control over how my body looked than I had believed for a long time). I do think age helped me too.

vanmep

Thanks for the encouraging post! It is very easy to bring the focus to the negative and see only those “soft spots.” Let’s all be excellent to ourselves and to each other !

4legsRbetterthan2

Dear Posters,

Please remember we are all here to be supportive of one another. If you are getting upset in a thread and feel the need to start attacking other members then please take a step back and find another, more enjoyable thread to partake in.

Attacking or flame baiting other members will not be tolerated. If you need to refresh on proper MFP forum behavior please revisit the guidelines:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

Thanks,
4legs
MFP moderator

Need2Exerc1se

Even though I'm in the healthy weight range I must need to lose a little more. Moving gracefully has not happened.