Quit Putting Yourselves Under a Microscope!
Slowfaster
Posts: 186 Member
I see so many posts where people have included selfies, close ups of little "flaws," like a bit of loose skin or a few stretch marks -- don't do that to yourselves! Standing in front of the mirror examining our bodies for imperfections is a recipe for despair. We probably aren't ever going to look like Victoria Secret models, because even they are spray tanned, retouched and photo shopped. If you're trying to lose weight and want to know if your plan is working, just step on the scale (in the morning, no clothes) and be pleased if it's moving in the right direction. If you're losing, you'll be feeling better, moving more gracefully and looking much better in your clothes. No one's going to be examining you under bright lights but your doctor.
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Replies
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AbstemiousMe wrote: »I see so many posts where people have included selfies, close ups of little "flaws," like a bit of loose skin or a few stretch marks -- don't do that to yourselves! Standing in front of the mirror examining our bodies for imperfections is a recipe for despair. We probably aren't ever going to look like Victoria Secret models, because even they are spray tanned, retouched and photo shopped. If you're trying to lose weight and want to know if your plan is working, just step on the scale (in the morning, no clothes) and be pleased if it's moving in the right direction. If you're losing, you'll be feeling better, moving more gracefully and looking much better in your clothes. No one's going to be examining you under bright lights but your doctor.
Just using scaleweight as a measure of success is a really bad idea...20 -
"TavistockToad wrote: »Just using scaleweight as a measure of success is a really bad idea...
Care to unpack that a little bit? What other factors do you think we ladies should worry about to make our lives consistently more miserable?
If you're thinking of bringing up that old chestnut about how "muscle weighs more than fat and so if you're working out you might be gaining so much muscle it negates the loss" forget it. I'm talking to my fellow women who obsess about soft spots. Maybe the muscle weight thing is true for men but science shows that the average woman on a weight lifting program gains about three pounds of muscle over a six month period. That's a half a pound a month. Not anything that's going to explain the scale not going down.
We're women. Our estrogen is going to keep us relatively soft and that's actually a good thing for our biological purpose of child bearing.
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I'm pretty sure that just using the scale as the ultimate measure of success is a bad idea because of water weight. Perhaps we could just settle for looking good with our clothes on?11
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Scale weight doesn't account for water weight fluctuations, that's all.27 -
Personally, I see a bigger difference in the mirror than I do on the scale. I think people are okay to measure how ever they want, as long as you’re not hating yourself along the way.12
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Oh I get it, and I agree. People are way way way too hard on themselves. Just the responses afterward went from 0-60 real quick.5
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Scale is one measurement, and water weight can easily mask progress, especially for women, and especially if they have a small deficit. Using a trending app can help one see the downward trends over time, even if they don't see it on the scale in the linear fashion they would like.
As mentioned, fit of clothing and the mirror can be other measurements of progress. I don't personally take my measurements, but many people do.
Fitness and lifestyle goals are also another fantastic measurement of progress. I completely recognize, and sometimes still marvel at, how much my core strength and flexibility have improved. I love it!10 -
AbstemiousMe wrote: »"TavistockToad wrote: »Just using scaleweight as a measure of success is a really bad idea...
Care to unpack that a little bit?
Water weight. Weight fluctuations due to that same menstruation and ovulation that come along with being female. Sodium. Dehydration. Cortisol-induced water weight. Muscle weight.
Solely relying on either method is unwise. One way isn't necessarily better than another.7 -
AbstemiousMe wrote: »If you're trying to lose weight and want to know if your plan is working, just step on the scale (in the morning, no clothes) and be pleased if it's moving in the right direction. If you're losing, you'll be feeling better, moving more gracefully and looking much better in your clothes. No one's going to be examining you under bright lights but your doctor.
Yes, you should not beat yourself up over your body appearance.
People also beat themselves up over scale weight or clothing size.
To expand- if you use a scale to measure progress look at the trend over time, not one weigh in.
It is common not to lose weight every week and does not mean you are not going in the right direction if the scale stays the same or goes up a bit occasionally. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1
Many people like to use a weight trending app like trend weight, happy scale, weight grapher.
Other ways to note progress are taking body measurements, progress photos, fit of clothing, medical tests, physical performance.
It takes time to change however you measure progress.
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Relying solely on scale weight is as much a recipe for disaster as relying solely on any other measure. Especially if you don't understand that weight loss is not linear and how normal fluctuations work. I see far more people here freaking out over scale weight than anything else.
Secondly, no one who actually understands these things is going to claim a woman (or a man) eating at a caloric deficit is gaining muscle. That only happens in a very limited set of circumstances if you're losing weight, and is fairly short-lived. You may want to educate yourself a bit more on muscle gain. @TavistockToad is well aware of how it works.
As to our 'biological purpose', you know not every woman wants to breed, right? We do have other reasons for existing, not just popping out babies. If you want to keep that as an excuse to carry extra body fat, go ahead. You really don't need to though, it's perfectly acceptable to say 'hey, this is how I want my body to look' without the need to justify it in any way. I'm all for maintaining hormonal health, but it sure as hell isn't for the purpose of child bearing. And I understand that I can get firm and lean whilst maintaining said hormonal health.17 -
As to our 'biological purpose', you know not every woman wants to breed, right? We do have other reasons for existing, not just popping out babies. If you want to keep that as an excuse to carry extra body fat, go ahead. You really don't need to though, it's perfectly acceptable to say 'hey, this is how I want my body to look' without the need to justify it in any way. I'm all for maintaining hormonal health, but it sure as hell isn't for the purpose of child bearing. And I understand that I can get firm and lean whilst maintaining said hormonal health.
"biological " purpose is not the same as purpose. What mother nature had in mind and what we decide to do are two different things. Just because I mentioned that our bodies were designed to make babies doesn't mean I think all women should have them. I was trying to explain why most of us will never be as lean and muscular as a man.
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collectingblues wrote: »
Solely relying on either method is stupid.
The scale method works best for me. Looking in the mirror depends too much on what particular outfit I'm wearing. I like the objectivity of a number.
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Pretty sure most women aren't aiming to get as lean and muscular as a lean and muscular man. Physique competitors yes, your average woman, no.
I weigh every day and track it in a trending app. Takes care of any hormonal water weight fluctuations. If I weighed once a month and happened to eat a lot of carbs or sodium the couple of days before that weigh in, those would show on the scale.
And no one called you stupid. She said relying on just one method of assessment is stupid. Personally, I used the scale, measuring tape, mirror, and progress photos. Now that I'm at goal weight and recomping, the scale is pretty much useless to me other than as a guide that I'm maintaining weight as intended. Measuring tape, mirror and photos are of far greater use.14 -
I agree. Many of us are so critical of every inch of ourselves. As long as clothes are fitting comfortably and scale numbers are going down you are doing good8
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Overall, your message is a good one - don't focus on perceived flaws and don't compare yourself to misleading images of professional models; if you're overweight and losing, you'll ultimately feel better physically.
All others have done is add to the single measurement of progress you mentioned - scale weight. You didn't expand on using scale weight and the pitfalls that it may present and how you try to avoid them (I agree with PP that weighing once a month for me could fail to show progress). How have others not added fantastic ways to measure progress other than a number on a scale? Aren't those great ways to value yourself, your body, and your progress, without comparing yourself to an unrealistic image and focusing on "flaws"?13 -
Also, you don't think the first part of that last sentence - "Just let people do what works for them" - is a wee bit ironic given that you started a thread telling people they should ignore everything else and just go by scale weight? I'm glad that is working for you, but it doesn't work for everyone.11
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AbstemiousMe wrote: »
Can you explain why you think once a month weighing takes care fluctuations? I think you still have them and may weigh on a high or low day. On one day of the month you might weigh several pounds more than a normal day even if you do everything right. What are you doing to make normal fluctuations irrelevant?
Weigh yourself one a month or not all. I weigh once a week personally.
I was not telling people how often to weigh themselves just saying if you do use the scale to measure your progress don't get hung up on one weigh in but look at the trend over time. I think that applies no matter how often you weigh yourself. If I am wrong explain it to me.
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To the o p, your original point is very valid. Your point about using the scale as your measure of success, especially for women, is not valid. The scale is very frustrating discouraging disappointing and depressing for many women because of issues already outlined above.
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I do weigh myself daily. I Trend my weight with a weight trending app. Any time could be a weird day with water depending on what my exercise routine was the day before how much sodium and carbs are consumed etcetera etc etc. If I only weighed myself once a month there may be times where I would be very upset because of something out of my control like water fluctuations. Water fluctuations are not necessarily caused only by your monthly cycle.5
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OP there are quite a few in the MFP community losers and maintainers alike that have been on these forums for years (myself included) and while it may seem a critical assessment to you of your posts it certainly was not intended for that to be and its your perception. If you hang around the forums often enough you get to know who is who and they all have been in the trenches of losing weight and advice is spot on.
That said, we are (men and women) most critical of ourselves and what we see in the mirror is not the same thing as others see us, I get that. And because weight loss in NOT linear, perhaps just the wording of 'step on the scale' is not a one size fits all, but so many do define success based on the number on the scale. Not necessarily bad, at first the goal is to see it moving downward but down the road when we need other tools there are a few we can use. Scale weight is just one set of data points in whole host of variables.
Other variables to measure success are through taking body measurements, monthly progress photos, better fitting clothing; and if you are 100% on point with compliance with your deficit, you are moving the right direction no matter if the scale says so or not. We (females) have potential to see significant fluctuations during ovulation and menses (twice a month) and trending our weight can be beneficial especially for daily/weekly weighers. Trending weight using an app is a handy tool to use as well.
Adding in resistance training and exercise adds in other variables to our scale weight as well. And while we will not gain significant muscle mass in a calorie deficit (these taper down after time) we can prevent muscle loss by not having too aggressive of a calorie deficit, adequate protein in the diet and resistance training.
Expanding on some of your points was not being critical in the least.
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Just, um, there's space between being soft and being a lean muscular man. And it's okay to want to be anywhere on that spectrum as long as it's healthy.
Just saying.
I also think only using the scale number in the least objective measure but that's just me.6 -
I take all my measurements once a month (mainly because I’m lazy and that’s the most maintainable option for me) and if I only took my weight I would have saw no progress between November and December. Fortunately I take measurements and progress pics so the lack of progress on the scale didn’t bother me because I lost inches and I can see a difference in my photos. THATS why people are saying one form of measurement is a bad idea, because it’s not always going to be reflective of your progress, especially when the measurement is weight which can fluctuate even more for a women because of their monthly cycles, My weight can pop up an easy 5lbs before that time. I also make notes about my mood, performance and just any other things I think are relevant every time I take measurements and it’s interesting to compare them as I progress.4
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Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
To the point of the original post, I have something to say. I had a very large baby when I was 40 years old. There's no bouncing back from that. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. I've lost 90 pounds.
I look at myself naked in the mirror every single day as a form of self assessment and an exercise in accepting and noting the changes in my body that all my hard work has done. I can see the difference that a few pounds recently lost has made in how my thighs look, and I am thrilled with that progress.
I can see how my glutes have lifted from the strength training and running I've done. My arms are firmer from all the push ups I do every day. Yes, I flex when I do my mirror review, and my batwings have shrunk over time and if I didn't do my unashamed self-assessment, I wouldn't know that glorious fact.
I have a bit of a mother's pooch of loose skin. I've been at a lower weight for 2 years, but that has shrunken down due to recomposition.
My saddle bags? Well, they're still there, but hey. I'm a work in progress.
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
Oooh! Me! (See previous comments about needing more than one evaluation method.)
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I do not agree that scale weight is the end-all be-all. That can make people obsessed with the number rather than how they actually look. I'd go a month without my scale weight changing at all, but have huge visual differences in how I look (right before a 'woosh'). Not only that, body fat percentage has a lot to do with it.
I'm 5'2". Bodyfat percentage does a WHOLE LOT on me. At 95lbs, I'd look easily 105-110lbs due to my lack of muscle mass. My bodyfat percentage was higher than I'd like it. I'm now actually 105lbs, with about 14% bodyfat (gooooood).
I look fit n' strong. No chub despite my low-but-higher-than-before weight and extremely small frame. It looks MUCH better than the lower scale weight did on me.
There are many measures to use, hun. Not one is the best, and there is a flaw to each.
Use them in CONJUNCTION with each other.5 -
I lost my measuring tape, but I used to love doing that! I'm 5'2", but my BMI and 'healthy weight' range is a bit off due to my small frame (bright side, I tend to be okay ordering clothes from Asian website, holla~). The measuring tape became the best way for me to actually track my progress for a bit. Helped a lot in my actually gaining weight while trying to KO my 'skinny fat' look, so I'd stay consistent in actual visuals instead of gaining more fat as I worked out + ate extra!GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
To the point of the original post, I have something to say. I had a very large baby when I was 40 years old. There's no bouncing back from that. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. I've lost 90 pounds.
I look at myself naked in the mirror every single day as a form of self assessment and an exercise in accepting and noting the changes in my body that all my hard work has done. I can see the difference that a few pounds recently lost has made in how my thighs look, and I am thrilled with that progress.
I can see how my glutes have lifted from the strength training and running I've done. My arms are firmer from all the push ups I do every day. Yes, I flex when I do my mirror review, and my batwings have shrunk over time and if I didn't do my unashamed self-assessment, I wouldn't know that glorious fact.
I have a bit of a mother's pooch of loose skin. I've been at a lower weight for 2 years, but that has shrunken down due to recomposition.
My saddle bags? Well, they're still there, but hey. I'm a work in progress.
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OP there are quite a few in the MFP community losers and maintainers alike that have been on these forums for years (myself included) and while it may seem a critical assessment to you of your posts it certainly was not intended for that to be and its your perception. If you hang around the forums often enough you get to know who is who and they all have been in the trenches of losing weight and advice is spot on.
That said, we are (men and women) most critical of ourselves and what we see in the mirror is not the same thing as others see us, I get that. And because weight loss in NOT linear, perhaps just the wording of 'step on the scale' is not a one size fits all, but so many do define success based on the number on the scale. Not necessarily bad, at first the goal is to see it moving downward but down the road when we need other tools there are a few we can use. Scale weight is just one set of data points in whole host of variables.
Other variables to measure success are through taking body measurements, monthly progress photos, better fitting clothing; and if you are 100% on point with compliance with your deficit, you are moving the right direction no matter if the scale says so or not. We (females) have potential to see significant fluctuations during ovulation and menses (twice a month) and trending our weight can be beneficial especially for daily/weekly weighers. Trending weight using an app is a handy tool to use as well.
Adding in resistance training and exercise adds in other variables to our scale weight as well. And while we will not gain significant muscle mass in a calorie deficit (these taper down after time) we can prevent muscle loss by not having too aggressive of a calorie deficit, adequate protein in the diet and resistance training.
Expanding on some of your points was not being critical in the least.
Thank you! I concede that the scale may not be the best way for everyone to assess their progress.
In the OP, I was only trying to reassure some of the young women on this board who seem to be too hard on themselves. I was particularly thinking of one who should have been so proud of a huge weight loss but was worried about her skin being a little loose. Any sort of measurement that encourages us to keep going is a good one in my opinion. It's the self assessments that say, "Sure the scale says I'm down ten pounds, but I still can't get into a smaller size, or I still look fat to myself," that I was against and it was those people who I was encouraging to just go by the scale.
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I kinda loved the initial post, though I do agree that the scale isn't the be all/end all. Overall, very nice.
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I agree with the original post that you should be fine with who you are, and be happy when you meet the goals you set out for yourself. At the end of the day, most people exercise and lose weight to get closer to the person that they want to be, and that's a great, positive aim that deserves encouragement!2
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