Sex and relationships

evilpoptart63
evilpoptart63 Posts: 397 Member
So, hypothetically, if you found an amazing man/woman and loved pretty much everything about them except sex issues, how bad would it have to get to leave them? Or would you never leave because of sex issues? Would you put up with it if they wanted it more? If you wanted it more? If it was terrible when it happened? If they werent attracted to you? If you werent attracted to them? How important IS sex to a relationship? Asking for a friend
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Replies

  • ClayBengal
    ClayBengal Posts: 124 Member
    Pretty important.
  • MrSith
    MrSith Posts: 1,636 Member
    Like any problem that arises, you talk about it and try to find a solution that is suitable for the both of you.
    this
  • WhereIsPJSoles
    WhereIsPJSoles Posts: 622 Member
    Depends what it is. I’ve stayed with dudes even though they were like pretty bad in bed because I’m a saint. But I would probably dump someone who just never wanted to bone. Some things change some things don’t.
  • Find_Me_Again
    Find_Me_Again Posts: 299 Member
    edited January 2018
    I think sex is just as much a part of compatibility as anything else in a relationship. I agree that it is something that can be worked on just like anything else, but if you don't mesh well in the bedroom, it's likely that it will cause other problems in the relationship.
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  • dale1608
    dale1608 Posts: 12 Member
    Sex, honesty and relationship are the keys to a healthy relationship
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    I kind of want to know what was going on with the person who flagged the OPs intro post. I just imagine it was an old-timey puritan who said something like "Well, I never!"

    I thought the same thing. SMH
    Legitimate question, adult forum, what's the flag for???
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  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    I think if you have to ask its pretty darned important.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
    I am a virgin
  • sw33tp3a1
    sw33tp3a1 Posts: 5,065 Member
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    I am a virgin

    Then you have nothing to contribute to this discussion.
  • veezybell
    veezybell Posts: 104 Member
    So, hypothetically, if you found an amazing man/woman and loved pretty much everything about them except sex issues, how bad would it have to get to leave them? Or would you never leave because of sex issues? Would you put up with it if they wanted it more? If you wanted it more? If it was terrible when it happened? If they werent attracted to you? If you werent attracted to them? How important IS sex to a relationship? Asking for a friend

    Uh, I'll try to answer all your questions.

    - It would have to be "non-arousing" bad, or "make excuses not to do it" bad.
    - I would probably leave to be honest...it's REALLY hard for a woman to absolutely suck in my opinion.
    - No I wouldn't.
    - I would be actively avoiding doing stuff with her so n/a.
    - Initially happened? Naw, people get a pass on that.
    - I'm not sure how that applies.
    - I think if they're awesome for everything except the sex, you're probably attracted to them.
    - Pretty damn important.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    I am a virgin

    Then you have nothing to contribute to this discussion.

    I was trying to find just the tips to maybe help me get over the hump here geez
  • sw33tp3a1
    sw33tp3a1 Posts: 5,065 Member
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    I am a virgin

    Then you have nothing to contribute to this discussion.

    I was trying to find just the tips to maybe help me get over the hump here geez

    That website they sent you yesterday might help with that too, just sayin ;)
  • rockmartin50
    rockmartin50 Posts: 1,747 Member
    Yes sex is important on a relationship--sex like other issues can be talk about and try to find a mutual understanding
  • veezybell
    veezybell Posts: 104 Member
    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    sw33tp3a1 wrote: »
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    I am a virgin

    Then you have nothing to contribute to this discussion.

    I was trying to find just the tips to maybe help me get over the hump here geez

    That website they sent you yesterday might help with that too, just sayin ;)

    Lol dang, no mercy...
  • WhereIsPJSoles
    WhereIsPJSoles Posts: 622 Member
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    get over the hump

    Solid thread advice
  • Acem24
    Acem24 Posts: 157 Member
    Hey there. Wanna add a list of things to do to help.
    1. Talk about feeling. Sounds so cheesy. But *kitten* it works!!
    2. If he/she loves you they will do whatever it takes to satisfy your needs.
    3. Respect each others fantasies.
    4. Toy are fun and they make a lot of them
    5. Don't be unhappy
    6. If anything happens there is a whole world out there full of people ready to take you love.
    7. Have a good day and smile. The world is both beautiful and cruel.
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    Key to a good relationship is communication. If someone loves everything about a person but the act of sex itself, then talk about it. Talk about likes and dislikes, positions, turn on's etc. All people are different and like different things, you should be able to communicate with someone in a relationship about how to grow together in the bedroom/kitchen/bathroom/porch. :p While Sex/intimacy should not be the first priority in a relationships, it most certainly is a VERY important part of a healthy happy long lasting relationship. If your friend loves everything about this person, he/she owes it to themselves to at least have a discussion with them to see if they can get over that "hump". B)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.

    Too kinda amigo. I have had some excellence guidance in life from my Dad, close friends, and other who help me cut away my own BS and get down to what matters most. They get most the credit. The rest has been me f'in things up and learning along the way. :)
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.

    Too kinda amigo. I have had some excellence guidance in life from my Dad, close friends, and other who help me cut away my own BS and get down to what matters most. They get most the credit. The rest has been me f'in things up and learning along the way. :)

    You can’t learn anything by being right all the time :)
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself in the orgasm department.

    However, I wouldn't want to pass on physical intimacy, it's so much more than just sex and orgasms. It's bonding at a physical level and that is super important to me.

    If it's just a technique issue, instructions can be communicated and people can learn to be better together. Someone who doesn't want to learn to be better wouldn't qualify as amazing in my book.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited January 2018
    If the relationship with the person is great in every other way I would communicate with them and try to work things out... compromise, teach/learn. I think it can be pretty normal for one partner to want more or less sex or people to like different things. If something is truly distasteful or painful to you speak up. If the response is this is the way it is going to be then get out.

    If I wasn't attracted to someone at all it is hard to imagine entering into a romantic/sexual relationship. It doesn't make sense.
    I guess you have to talk with them about their feelings and your feelings and decide if you want a partner relationship without sex, just be friends or what.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Don't ask me...

    I've saving it for the Prom !
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.

    Too kinda amigo. I have had some excellence guidance in life from my Dad, close friends, and other who help me cut away my own BS and get down to what matters most. They get most the credit. The rest has been me f'in things up and learning along the way. :)

    You can’t learn anything by being right all the time :)

    .... then I must be an effin' genius.
This discussion has been closed.