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Sex and relationships

24567

Replies

  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    Key to a good relationship is communication. If someone loves everything about a person but the act of sex itself, then talk about it. Talk about likes and dislikes, positions, turn on's etc. All people are different and like different things, you should be able to communicate with someone in a relationship about how to grow together in the bedroom/kitchen/bathroom/porch. :p While Sex/intimacy should not be the first priority in a relationships, it most certainly is a VERY important part of a healthy happy long lasting relationship. If your friend loves everything about this person, he/she owes it to themselves to at least have a discussion with them to see if they can get over that "hump". B)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.

    Too kinda amigo. I have had some excellence guidance in life from my Dad, close friends, and other who help me cut away my own BS and get down to what matters most. They get most the credit. The rest has been me f'in things up and learning along the way. :)
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.

    Too kinda amigo. I have had some excellence guidance in life from my Dad, close friends, and other who help me cut away my own BS and get down to what matters most. They get most the credit. The rest has been me f'in things up and learning along the way. :)

    You can’t learn anything by being right all the time :)
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself in the orgasm department.

    However, I wouldn't want to pass on physical intimacy, it's so much more than just sex and orgasms. It's bonding at a physical level and that is super important to me.

    If it's just a technique issue, instructions can be communicated and people can learn to be better together. Someone who doesn't want to learn to be better wouldn't qualify as amazing in my book.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited January 2018
    If the relationship with the person is great in every other way I would communicate with them and try to work things out... compromise, teach/learn. I think it can be pretty normal for one partner to want more or less sex or people to like different things. If something is truly distasteful or painful to you speak up. If the response is this is the way it is going to be then get out.

    If I wasn't attracted to someone at all it is hard to imagine entering into a romantic/sexual relationship. It doesn't make sense.
    I guess you have to talk with them about their feelings and your feelings and decide if you want a partner relationship without sex, just be friends or what.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Don't ask me...

    I've saving it for the Prom !
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    I dunno. I think people get hung up on sex because more often I hear them talk about relationships where the sex is just fantastic, amazing, and such, but there is very little to the relationship and they talk about wanting someone to trust, cuddle, be friends with, etc. There rarely is a perfect point of finding an amazing lover and the most amazing person all in one.

    For me, I have never had bad sex. I have had better-than-other sex, but can't think of but a few individual times that it was bad, and that was more a function of interest in the person.

    Attraction is key for me, and that always is about the person and nothing to do with sex.

    Are you ever NOT the wisest man in the room? I always enjoy your insight, my friend.

    Too kinda amigo. I have had some excellence guidance in life from my Dad, close friends, and other who help me cut away my own BS and get down to what matters most. They get most the credit. The rest has been me f'in things up and learning along the way. :)

    You can’t learn anything by being right all the time :)

    .... then I must be an effin' genius.
  • evilpoptart63
    evilpoptart63 Posts: 397 Member
    I absolutely love all the different perspectives!! Thanks for responding! I personally dont think sex is everything in a relationship but when there are long-term issues I definitely think it can drag the rest of the relationship down. If the attraction just isn't there on one side, no amount of communication will help though. It would probably help to settle down with someone when there is mutual attraction and great sex, that way when things get rough, Its one less strain
  • AnnieH_4512
    AnnieH_4512 Posts: 1,422 Member
    Resistive wrote: »
    Give me M&M’s, popcorn, mountain biking and I am happier than a fat kid on a smartie at this stage in my life.

    With regards to the OP, I would agree, it’s not everything. I think it becomes less important the older you get.

    This
  • emjay6x3
    emjay6x3 Posts: 213 Member
    I believe it truly depends on the relationship and the people involved in it. Sex isn't as important to some people, to some couples, as it may be to others. So, if there is an issue with the sexual relationship, I think the best suggestion is for the couple to sit down and discuss either a resolution, or moving on to something more fulfilling. Generally speaking, however, yes - it's pretty important. The most important part of a relationship? No way. However, If there is no physical chemistry, it can cause a huge rift between partners, especially if this is one-sided.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
    Use it or lose it.

    I thought this was just a rumour!?

    NOOOOOOOooooooooooòø00000ooooOoooooOOooooooooooo!!!!
  • emjay6x3
    emjay6x3 Posts: 213 Member
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    Use it or lose it.

    I thought this was just a rumour!?

    NOOOOOOOooooooooooòø00000ooooOoooooOOooooooooooo!!!!

    https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mbqjap/witches-allegedly-stole-penises-and-kept-them-as-pets-in-the-middle-ages

    I know what my new hobby is going to be... B)
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
    emjay6x3 wrote: »
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    Use it or lose it.

    I thought this was just a rumour!?

    NOOOOOOOooooooooooòø00000ooooOoooooOOooooooooooo!!!!

    https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mbqjap/witches-allegedly-stole-penises-and-kept-them-as-pets-in-the-middle-ages

    I know what my new hobby is going to be... B)

    Keep your hobbies away from me
  • AnnieH_4512
    AnnieH_4512 Posts: 1,422 Member
    eccomi_qui wrote: »
    Use it or lose it.

    I thought this was just a rumour!?

    NOOOOOOOooooooooooòø00000ooooOoooooOOooooooooooo!!!!

    https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mbqjap/witches-allegedly-stole-penises-and-kept-them-as-pets-in-the-middle-ages

    Bahahahahahahahaha
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    Dear OP,
    This is what you get for not giving it up on the first date. You would've known on day 1 and could've walked away.

    Lesson of the day. Drink more tequila on the first date.

    Your welcome.
  • evilpoptart63
    evilpoptart63 Posts: 397 Member
    Haha I gave it up on the 2nd date and the sex was great and frequent fpr a while
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    Haha I gave it up on the 2nd date and the sex was great and frequent fpr a while

    I said 1st... btw... wanna go out?
This discussion has been closed.