Break ups and heartache
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kauseemcee wrote: »TheRoadDog wrote: »kauseemcee wrote: »Never been one to eat my feelings but this recent break up has me at breaking point, I know it was never meant to be and it would've been worse down the track but I'm just hurting pretty bad. Better now than never but I miss her. As they say everything happens for a reason but why did this happen in the first place
feel free to share words of advise or your story with me, I know someone out there will relate.
I remember when my wife left me in the 80's. Thought I'd never recover. My best friend told me, "Time heals everything and, no matter what you do, time will pass." He was right. I am happily married now with three grown daughters. If I could go back in time and avoid my ex-wife, I wouldn't though. She was part of the history that brought me to where I am now. I just think of her now as a place holder for my wife. She was stalling me until I could meet Jan.
Wow, that's a great way to look at the situation! That must have been a rough ride but glad it worked out for you ! A place holder, I really like that
thank you
Good Luck, Keep Busy and Don't Look Back. If you're looking backwards, you might not see what's right in front of you.4 -
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LiftingRiot wrote: »Seriously... Time heals all. Just takes time..... That being said, if I broke up with someone that I was in love with, went into a coma, and woke up years later, would I still be in love with that person?
Were they paying you to stay with you the whole time?
Pepperjack makes all his ladies pay
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LiftingRiot wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »Seriously... Time heals all. Just takes time..... That being said, if I broke up with someone that I was in love with, went into a coma, and woke up years later, would I still be in love with that person?
Were they paying you to stay with you the whole time?
Pepperjack makes all his ladies pay
I hope her only payment wasn't occasionally cooking for you...since you were in that coma.0 -
There are 4 billion people in the world. In life we're lucky to just meet a handful to have a relationship with and many SETTLE just on that handful and pick "the one". The whole, out of sight, out of mind will ring true if you stick with it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Important question. anywhere in the 5 ft range_seahorses5ever wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »Seriously... Time heals all. Just takes time..... That being said, if I broke up with someone that I was in love with, went into a coma, and woke up years later, would I still be in love with that person?
This is profound. How tall were they?
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TheRoadDog wrote: »kauseemcee wrote: »Never been one to eat my feelings but this recent break up has me at breaking point, I know it was never meant to be and it would've been worse down the track but I'm just hurting pretty bad. Better now than never but I miss her. As they say everything happens for a reason but why did this happen in the first place feel free to share words of advise or your story with me, I know someone out there will relate.
I remember when my wife left me in the 80's. Thought I'd never recover. My best friend told me, "Time heals everything and, no matter what you do, time will pass." He was right. I am happily married now with three grown daughters. If I could go back in time and avoid my ex-wife, I wouldn't though. She was part of the history that brought me to where I am now. I just think of her now as a place holder for my wife. She was stalling me until I could meet Jan.
Listen to this wise man -- could not have said it better!2 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »But it’s a really bad idea to do it with someone new if you’re still in love with the old person. Ask me how I know.
I’ll bite. How do you know?0 -
One of the worst feelings in the whole world is when you break up with someone but don't fall out of love. I've been there. I wish I could say that I recovered quickly, just cried it out and moved on, but reality was different. It took a lot of tears to wash out the hurt, sleepless nights and long walks to clear my mind. Heartbreak not only affected me, but my relationships with other people, work, health...I really wish I hadn't put my life on hold. Sometimes, it'll feel like time's working against you, like it won't heal the wounds. It will. Best thing you can do is get rid of everything that reminds you of her: pictures, her mug, gifts, messages, phone number (even though it's carved into your brain) - everything. Being the sentimental person that I am, I didn't want to let go of those things, but if I hadn't done that, I never would've moved on. He still crosses my mind every now and then. One part of me still loves him. When you truly love someone, I don't think you ever stop loving them. That's okay too.
How that one goes, "Don't regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you needed." People enter our lives for a reason and with every relationship you learn something more about life and yourself. You'll find someone that's right for you, always know that. Maybe the best piece of advice I can offer you is don't live in the past and face your feelings, no sweeping under the rug.
Now that this has turned into a novel, I'll stop. Thanks for listening, folks.5 -
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LiftingRiot wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »Seriously... Time heals all. Just takes time..... That being said, if I broke up with someone that I was in love with, went into a coma, and woke up years later, would I still be in love with that person?
Were they paying you to stay with you the whole time?
Pepperjack makes all his ladies pay
I hope her only payment wasn't occasionally cooking for you...since you were in that coma.
and sometimes cleaning.0 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »Caporegiem wrote: »Best way to get over one is to get under another.
There’s a new song with some new rules that says this doesn’t work
"One: Don't pick up the phone
You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone
Two: Don't let him in
You'll have to kick him out again
Three: Don't be his friend
You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him"2 -
Time and conscious effort to focus on yourself will heal you.. you may not understand why right now, but in time the reasons will be clear. I promise. Stay well4
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It’ll take time. Keep yourself busy with work, working out, friends, family, etc.1
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I know but hurts, but better to know now. I hope your 2018 is your best year yet. Love will happen again.1
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It's true that every days getting better. Ahhhh I just need a new best friend
thanks so much everyone, I hope this thread helps others as much as it's helping me 2 -
kauseemcee wrote: »It's true that every days getting better. Ahhhh I just need a new best friend thanks so much everyone, I hope this thread helps others as much as it's helping me
Heartbreak is inevitable but it's necessary. As cruel as it is, it's just a way of taking us to what truly belong to us and it's a form of self growth as well. It's not about finding someone else to get over another person. Rebounding is never good and this thread has great advice on how to distract the mind while you heal. Best of luck!2 -
kauseemcee wrote: »It's true that every days getting better. Ahhhh I just need a new best friend thanks so much everyone, I hope this thread helps others as much as it's helping me
Heartbreak is inevitable but it's necessary. As cruel as it is, it's just a way of taking us to what truly belong to us and it's a form of self growth as well. It's not about finding someone else to get over another person. Rebounding is never good and this thread has great advice on how to distract the mind while you heal. Best of luck!
She’s right. No “new best friends”, rebounding is for basketball players2 -
I guess that will have to wait until I'm all healed up then, it's like the only one I want to speak with is the one I really shouldn't speak with. I appreciate the honesty0
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Download Tinder and have some fun. Stay busy.0
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I heard you can actually die from heartache.... that's intense. Is that romantic or creeperish for that to happen?0
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LiftingRiot wrote: »I heard you can actually die from heartache.... that's intense. Is that romantic or creeperish for that to happen?
When it happens to old people, that's just sad
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They say and I believe, that you can't help who you fall in love with, but it doesn't always work out. And when it doesn't the best thing to do, as many have said, is to occupy your mind with other things, so you're too busy to think about it. It's very hard at first but with time, the days (especially evenings) get easier and don't seem to go on forever. So sorry you're so sad but you'll get through this. You know why, because you have to. Hugs!
Edited because decided it was tmi
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11 years ago, my boyfriend of 8 years dumped me for a younger skinnier girl. I was devastated. A couple of months later, when the fog cleared, I realized just how toxic that relationship had been.
Then an online friend decided to come visit the US. I was expecting a couple of weeks of showing him around Atlanta and having some fun. I didn’t expect to fall head over heels for him. 8 months later we got married. That was 10 years ago and we have an adorable 7 year old.
I know it doesn’t seem like it will happen but that perfect someone is out there for you and you never know when they will drop into your life.6 -
11 years ago, my boyfriend of 8 years dumped me for a younger skinnier girl. I was devastated. A couple of months later, when the fog cleared, I realized just how toxic that relationship had been.
Then an online friend decided to come visit the US. I was expecting a couple of weeks of showing him around Atlanta and having some fun. I didn’t expect to fall head over heels for him. 8 months later we got married. That was 10 years ago and we have an adorable 7 year old.
I know it doesn’t seem like it will happen but that perfect someone is out there for you and you never know when they will drop into your life.
Thanks for sharing, they say "you'll know when she's the one" and I feel like I keep fooling myself. Hopefully I'll feel that one day!0 -
I’m so sorry:( breakups are hard! I was proud of myself, I never had my heart broken.... until I was 28. I used to think people were honestly being big babies about it, but dang! That really did hurt! It wasn’t a bad breakup, he was honestly a good friend. But I should’ve just left it as a friendship. I was the one who tried to pursue a relationship, and he was seriously a terrible boyfriend. It changed the way I looked at him, unfortunately. I didn’t realize that until literally just the other day, and we split up in 2013. We stayed in contact here and there, which was really ok. He moved 6 hours away anyway, I could handle a few text here and there. I started dating my now husband the end of 2014, and we just drifted apart from there. Normally this would be fine, but he passed away in a swimming accident on July 4th 2015. I regret not being his friend more. I wish I could’ve seen him succeed in all of his dreams, see who he wound up marrying, and see what his sweet babies would’ve looked like. It makes me sad that he will never get to experience all of that. Weirdly, the breakup hurt way worse than him dying. I miss him as a friend, not as a boyfriend. If you can handle being friends, I say go for it. BUT make sure you give it some time to stop hurting first. If you can’t, that’s ok too. Just wish her the best, and let it go for you. I say as long as they are happy, healthy, and alive out there, it’s all I would need to move on. It gets much better, I love my husband with all of my heart. I couldn’t imagine being with anybody else, and it’s like I have completely forgotten anybody who came before him. We just welcomed our first baby boy, and I couldn’t be more in love with my life ❤️ hang in there. Your girl is out there, I promise ❤️❤️❤️1
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Jushere018 wrote: »
Also where I met your husband1 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »Jushere018 wrote: »
Also where I met your husband
Quit while you're ahead1
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